THE ARCANE ARSONIST

Nobody told me that the floating arcane eye doesnt come with drops, this thing about redder than a bitch

Yall the slime farm is getting out of hand, im gonna have to start feeding the rejects to the fucking frog

Running an unlicensed slime farm out of my tower, whatever kinda slime you need I got it, i don't deal to anyone under 200. Professionals have standards

Was at the market earlier and a dude incorrectly knightsplained the difference between a wyrm and a wyvrn to me for like 15 minutes

Got most of my skeletal servant out from under the frog, I've had to move my tower to the astral plane to be able to fit the fucking frog, i need some HELP with this big boy

Traded some dipshit druid a busted xbox360 for some of the good stuff

The really fat fucking frog in the corner of my tower that I feed my fucked up potion brews to won't stop growing, it has also gained complete immunity to most forms of magic, fuuuuck.

My skeleton servant hasn't realized his fingers are made out of chicken legs from my leftover KFC but I dont have the heart to tell him

The entire basement of my tower is now a living puddle of void that whispers into my dreams, it is so fucking humid down there bro.