Juicy Unseeded Memes

snaaaaaaake.

Blending in like a pro 🐙😶‍🌫️

This red octopus (Octopus rubescens) blends seamlessly into the sandy seafloor, patiently waiting for its next meal to wander by. Like other octopuses, it can rapidly change both its color and skin texture to match its surroundings, making it remarkably difficult to spot.

Lol was this you

Seriously bruh, if you wanna make a case about nutritional defecits and the declining vitamin and mineral content in agricultural produce, the overall failure of public school physical education to provide any productive and meaningful instruction on personal health and correct methods of exercise, the ever-increasing cost of healthy foods, and the frankly shameful rate of child hunger and food waste all collectively contributing to poorer health in persons of ALL body types, I'm happy to play ball, but if the beginning and end of your platform is "there are more fat people than there used to be and being fat is bad so promoting eating disorders and drug abuse is good actually" then you are straight up wasting everyone's time

"Uhhh but everyone was skinny in 1920 look at this "fat lady" who was in a freak show at the circus lol and look how average she would be now" do you have any idea how many vitamins and other supplements we have had to insert into the food and water supply to combat widespread malnutrition in the last several decades

You realize how many people had teeth rotting out of their heads before we put fluoride in drinking water

Jesus fucking christ, google "B12 defecit"

The population was skinnier because we were constantly on the precipice of dying from shit like low zinc, you absolute dingbat

#my old phone looks like this on my shelf lmao #im too scared to touch it to throw it away #idk what trash this even goes into when its at this point

The pillow-shaped object here used to be the phone’s battery. It’s not a battery anymore. Now it’s a balloon full of corrosive, pyrophoric chemicals and hydrogen gas and it’s one puncture away from burning your house down. I am 100% serious. You should be scared to touch it.

But you gotta touch it, because you gotta get it out of your house before the pressure builds up to the point where the balloon pops. This isn’t going to happen soon – there is no need to panic – but it will happen eventually.

And, indeed, it doesn’t go in the ordinary trash. You put this in the ordinary trash and you’re gonna set the garbage truck on fire. Don’t do that to the garbage collectors, their job is hard enough already.

The first thing you need to do is get a fireproof container. The most common household item that qualifies as a fireproof container is a cast-iron cookpot with a cast-iron lid – often sold as a “Dutch oven.” Any other cooking container that’s unreactive, has a very high melting point, and has a lid made of the same materials will also work: enameled or stainless steel, Pyrex with glass lid, etc.

However: Do not use a pot with a PTFE-based non-stick coating. If the battery does explode, the fire will probably be hot enough to degrade a PTFE coating, producing toxic smoke. (Not that you should breathe the smoke from the battery fire either, but PTFE breakdown products are worse.) Do not use a pot made of aluminium or copper. The fire might even get hot enough to melt those.

Whatever container you use, you might have to throw away along with the phone, so don’t use your good Dutch oven for this. Go to a thrift store and buy a cheap one.

Once you have the fireproof container:

Gently pick up the phone and put it in the fireproof container. If possible, gently tape the phone to the bottom of the container to prevent it from bouncing around. Don’t put any padding in there, that’ll just make a fire worse if it does happen. Put the lid on and tape it shut.

Put a label on the container, something like “DEFECTIVE LI-ION BATTERY – FIRE HAZARD”.

It is now reasonably safe to move the container around. However, if the battery does explode, the container is very likely to leak smoke and get hot, so keep it in a well-ventilated area and away from things that will be damaged by heat. Don’t leave it exposed to the weather, either.

You need to find either a hazardous waste disposal site, or an e-waste recycler that will accept defective Li-ion batteries. I can’t help with that because I have no idea where you live.

However, your local fire department, if you have one, will probably be happy to help. Call their non-emergency number. Nothing is on fire yet, so this isn’t an emergency, but things that can easily start a fire are still within the fire department’s responsibilities. Tell them you have a phone with a bulging lithium-ion battery, you put it in a fireproof container, and you want to know how to dispose of it safely.

If the fire department tries to tell you this isn’t dangerous or it’s okay to throw it out in the regular trash (with or without fireproof container), hang up on them and write a cranky letter to your local government representatives, then keep looking for a proper disposal site.

This collection of nineteenth-century vaseline glass catches the light and creates a lustrous pool of yellow-greens. The effect is enhanced by the subtle arrangement of yellow-green flowers: fennel, euphorbia and lady's mantle.