The '93 v. '99

Lamb: A coming of age film for crazy girls. The cast has a ton of phenomenal performances. I didn’t have enough fun to sit in a seat for over two hours, but I did involuntarily react. I was really impressed at the well behaved kitty. (3/5)

Lamb: What an absolutely stacked cast. This Wild West drama gave me a fondness for a time when all the men were sweaty and a box of bullets was a nickel. Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer knock it out of the park. This is probably the most fun I could have had with a cowboy film. I wanna wear a long black duster and a round brimmed hat, enforce justice the only way I know how. (3.5/5)

Lamb: I see why people like this film. Haley Joel Osment is a really tolerable child actor, and Bruce Willis has a pretty good performance too. I would never sleep by myself if I saw dead people. Even though the film was tense and emotional, it sprinkled just enough humor in to give me breaths throughout. HJO wears a yellow tee with dogs on it, and I want it. Even knowing the twist going into the film, I still felt surprised and pleased at the reveal. (3.5/5)

Lamb: The Sanderson Sisters (Midler, Parker, and Najimy) are so fun to watch perform. This timeless Halloween classic really captures the feeling of the 90s. When I wasn’t having fun watching witches, I was wishing witches were on screen. I had fun, and I’ll certainly watch it again. (3/5)

Lamb: I thought the film had cool looking creatures, good action sequences, and a solid soundtrack. Brendan Fraser is an excellent wise-cracking cowboy, but I wish he had better lines. I feel like I had more comic relief than I could stomach, and I do not think mummies are that cool. I mostly had fun during the wild shootout scenes. (2.5/5)

Lamb: Jeff Bridges plays a phenomenal creep. I think I’m confused about everybody getting into shitty relationships, and then resolving to search for their missing significant other. I really didn’t have fun, but I think it is a film you could not make in a modern year. I wouldn’t watch it again. (2/5)

Lamb: I had a lot more fun than I thought I was gonna. If you think you’re going to get sick from the shaky cam, you are. The film kept my heart pounding, but it felt like the same string of suspense was drug out for the entirety of the film, for very little payoff. I watched this film because it was a cultural phenomenon, to realize that was the only thing the film really had. I’d watch it again, but I don’t know why I’d want to. (1.5/5)

Lamb: As far as love stories go, I think it’s a pretty good one. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are great on the screen together. I’m a little salty, because it’s a movie where everybody likes film and talks to each other about film, but everybody also loves love, so I’ll let it slide. (3.5/5)

Lamb: What a ridiculous tale, reimagined with a ridiculously stacked cast. I think the movie pushes the envelope with corniness, but when it lands it works. Heath Ledger is such a talent, the soundtrack is solid, and I laughed at least once. My only gripe is: Who would bring beer to a “free beer party”? (2.5/5)

Lamb: What an absolutely stacked cast. I can’t say I had “fun”, but I was gripped to my chair for the run of the movie. I often think that “thriller” is just another buzzword to put on a DVD cover, but this film really shows what can make the genre fun. I maybe don’t get why people like Harrison Ford, but that’s a problem I have to work through myself. Tommy Lee Jones is my MVP, and I laughed out loud when a dummy got thrown off a dam. (4/5)

Lamb: I liked to look at everything. The ships were cool, the cities were cool, and baby I LOVE pod racing. My pod racer would look like the tank from Tank Girl (1995). Pod racing is like The Tour de France, with vagrants that can shoot at you. I could have cut so much fat off of this movie. I thought the acting was pretty good, especially Natalie Portman. Whenever kid Anakin said something, I just pictured me instead delivering the same lines, and it made the movie more fun. Yippie. (3/5)

Lamb: What a bizarre kids movie. I have never seen anything like it, and I think it’s because these kids actively put themselves into dangerous situations and are rewarded for it. Standards and practices would be all over this. I thought the concept was extremely novel, however confusing, and thought the child actors even had some good line deliveries. I don’t think I would work with a mountain lion. (2/5)

Lamb: For what it’s worth, the commentary about using consumerism to compensate for your incredibly bleek work life, feels prescient in the time. I hate this “cut in shots” shit. Put an epilepsy warning at the beginning of your 140 minute movie or knock it off. God, Helena Bonham Carter is pretty. That’s why cigarettes are still around. I shudder to realize this movie inspired a generation. If a man makes you watch fight club, he should pay for a mammogram for you in the future. I think that would improve our health care system. It is pretty funny to watch a brainwashed mass delude themselves further. This ending fight scene is gratuitous. The Pixie’s “Where is my Mind” is such a solid ending needle drop. (3.5/5)

Lamb: Casting Robin Williams to play an actor is just a solid choice. I think the film excels when I get to watch Robin Williams be silly. The part I didn’t like was having to watch a divorce for an hour. This is a classic, and I can’t bellyache about that. A two hour run time is a bit long for me, and I wanted more silliness, but I’m always gonna have fun watching this movie. I’d do a public access television show cosplaying as an elderly British woman. (3.5/5)

Lamb: You think I’d love a film about an urban samurai, but perhaps I’ve touched too much film to not be jaded. Ghost Dog is a sick character, but he’s kinda just a guy that based his life around loving Star Wars or something. I honest to god couldn’t tell if the film was broken up by real or fake quotes from a samurai text. I’m glad I didn’t have to read into anything because every message or theme I could infer about the movie was shoved directly in my face to make sure I “got it”. If anything, I dig the message and the concept, if executed less than excellently. I would watch it again. (2.5/5)

Lamb: I didn’t realize Chazz Palminteri was such a big deal. I thought the drama was a great story, but the film felt padded. I felt like there was an hour of really solid screenplay strung across two hours. Another great soundtrack. (3/5)

Lamb: Will Smith really rocks the “shirtless cowboy” look. He even has a bullet belt straight out of Hot Topic. He makes being a cowboy look fucking sick, like Cowboy Bebop meets Lil Nas X. A killer soundtrack!! What a fun alternate history movie. I laughed out loud multiple times. And had fun! I haven’t seen this film in a decade, and I remember liking it. I hope I like it in another decade. We even get a Jim West rap as our outro!! (3.5/5)