Texts from...well, Hell, basically.

Dante: Has anyone seen V?

Albert: Unfortunately. He's been talking with my sister for the past hour and a half.

Dante: That doesn't sound too ba-

Albert: Exclusively in Blake and Kafka quotes respectively.

Dante: Holy shit.

Dante: Hey, Vergil, I've got a lead on a new--

Vergil: [doing paperwork with headphones on]

Dante: Vergil. V E R G I L.

Vergil: [can't hear him at all]

Dante: Huh. Might as well make this a jam session, then! [breaks out Nevan and jams loudly, which causes feedback that makes Vergil toss the headphones off]

Vergil: How in the-- [looks over to Dante] Of course.

Dante: [notices the exasperated look and stops playing] Aww, I thought we were having a Partridge Family moment.

Vergil: Hardly. What do you want?

Dante: I got a lead on a new mission, but it seems more up your alley. [hands over a file folder]

Vergil: [looks over the papers he's given] This does look promising. I'll take care of it.

Dante: Knew I could count on you. [picks up the headphones and goes to hand them back]

Dante: [quizzical look]

Dante: [puts one earphone up to his ear]

Dante: ...is this Devil Trigger?

Nero: BANG BANG BANG

Dante: [in unison while playing air guitar] PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

Vergil: ALRIGHT, ENOUGH!

[stops the playback]

Vergil: THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE 300TH TIME YOU'VE PLAYED THAT SONG. IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO CATAPULT YOU BOTH INTO THE SUN.

Nero: Jeez, someone's touchy he didn't get to share the spotlight.

Dante: You might say that his-

[rewinds, unmutes, turns up the volume on the speakers]

Dante: FRU~STRA~TION IS GETTING BIGGER

What else did you expect from this fuckery blog?