ever since he first saw you walk into the classroom with your nose held high in your textbooks, the cold and studious first impression has yet to wash away

you didn’t answer to anyone unless it was school related, not a care in the world about what people thought of you

yujin could never relate to that

your only goal was to be the top student, and secondary to that was anything else that’d make a pretty addition to your résumé

the day your two paths crossed was on your first day as second years

that morning, yujin was talking to his best friend, park gunwook, in the hallway

“yujin, did you hear we’re getting a new transfer student?”

the boy shakes his head

“hopefully they’re nice. I’ll probably have to show them around, help them adjust, all that stuff,” gunwook continues, which spirals into a ramble of all the responsibilities he’ll have when he’s inevitably re-elected as class president

yujin just hums in agreement, twisting the cap off his plastic water bottle and taking a sip

the two eventually reach their classroom

and sitting in one of the seats is a face he’d recognize anywhere

it’s none other than his childhood friend… they’re back

he chokes on his water and bursts into a fit of coughs that draws everyone’s attention, including their’s

the new transfer student is his childhood friend… how is he supposed to approach them, speak to them, act around them…

he gets so flustered that he turns around to leave and run out of the room

not noticing you were already walking in through the propped open door with your eyes down in the midst of reading a book

one thing leads to another, and before yujin can prevent himself from the mess he’s about to cause, his hand is already squeezing around the open water bottle out of shock and water splashes onto your uniform and the fresh pages of your book

you’re scarily still for the first few seconds, so much that yujin feels a chill run down his spine

it’s like his life just flashed before his eyes

“are you serious?” you say through gritted teeth, your glare burning into his skull like flames

yujin doesn’t have the guts to say anything, which only makes you more aggravated

you take a step forward and open your mouth to chew him out but gunwook wedges himself between the two of you

“come on, y/n, don’t be too harsh on him. he didn’t mean for this to happen,” gunwook says, trying to remedy the situation

you’re not pleased by that in the slightest

gunwook quickly takes off his blazer and hands it out to you as a peace offering

but you only scoff at it and shake your head. “I don’t need your help, park.”

you push him out of the way and stand face to face with yujin

“don’t you owe me an apology?”

he hesitates for a moment, still in panic mode, but you shut him down before he can even get a word in

“forget it. you’re not worth my time.”

tossing the damp book into the trash can, you storm out of the classroom and not once do you look back

and yujin thinks to himself, from that day on, he’ll avoid you at all costs

in the months following the incident, yujin does just that

if he sees you, he’ll walk in the opposite direction

if you so much as turn your head his way, he’ll steer clear of all eye contact

instead, he concentrates on mustering up the courage to confess to his long term crush, his reunited friend from his middle school years

though in all honesty, a lot has changed even in the short time they’ve been gone

they haven’t exactly reconnected like he anticipated, but it’s not like they’re total strangers either

he understands that they’re no longer in the same social circles, no longer attached to the hip, no longer conversing over the same talking points like they used to

but he still wants to give himself a chance to confess before it’s too late

with both the help and motivation from gunwook, yujin comes up with the perfect plan

he retrieves a carton of chocolate milk—their favorite—from the cafeteria and writes a note in the pink origami heart he learned how to make the night prior

meet me by the field after school! -h.yj

time feels painfully longer when having to wait for it to pass

yujin rocks his heels back and forth on the ground, checking the notifications on his phone that he’s already been scrolling through for the past five minutes

he wanted to be the one to arrive at the field first, but his nerves were only amplifying in an echo chamber of anxiety

“what do you want?”

he jumps from the abruptness of your voice but gets even more surprised when he realizes it’s you

he lets out an awkward cough and quietly says, “oh, sorry, I’m waiting for someone.”

you pull out the unfolded origami heart from your pocket

“so this wasn’t you?”

yujin does a double take, eyes widening as his mistake was staring at him straight in the face

he had somehow set the chocolate milk and the note on the wrong desk

“no, it was me. you’re the one I was waiting for,” he lies, attempting to make it seem as if he was joking earlier

he has to hold himself back from grimacing

why was it always so hard for him to own up to his feelings? shout out to the world that he has a crush and is currently messing that up?

you quirk an eyebrow. “what is it then?”

yujin falls silent and he can already tell your patience is running thin

he doesn’t know how to respond, other than with the truth, and blurts out the first excuse that comes to mind as you say

“look, I’m not interested—”

“can you tutor me?”

“you want me to tutor you?” you repeat

“yes, of course, you’re the smartest one in our class.”

“what subject?”

“umm… everything?”

“are you seriously failing all your classes?”

“yes…?”

“why do you sound so unsure of yourself?”

yujin gulps. “it’s just a little embarrassing to admit, I guess.”

“well, I was planning to take a break from tutoring this year, but if you’re really in need of help, I can make an exception.” you pull out a business card from the front pocket of your bag. “this has all my contact information and tutoring rates. we can figure out whatever meeting times are convenient for the both of us later. sound good?”

he gives you a wordless nod of affirmation, and with that, his fate is sealed

you turn around to leave

however, unlike the last encounter, you look back

“hey, what’s your name again?”

“yujin, han yujin,” he nearly stutters out his own name

you curtly nod, walking away while quietly mumbling his name as a reminder to remember it

yujin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, wonder what he just got himself into

the first meet is on a monday at the library after school

to put it shortly, it’s a disaster

“weren’t you the one that asked me to tutor you? I wouldn’t have agreed if I knew you’d get this distracted.”

yujin couldn’t focus in the slightest

he didn’t want to be there, which was unfortunate since he could’ve used this as an actual opportunity to boost up his class rank

yet he wanted to be living his life, putting off his studies until the last minute like he normally does

he tells himself to put up with all your complaints and scoldings just to appease you, but it only leads to him reaching his breaking point about a whopping three meetings later

“I lied.”

“great, now finish your practice questions.”

yujin grunts in a fit of frustration. “aren’t you curious as to what I lied about?”

“not really. you can tell me after you finish your practice questions.”

you won’t hear him out otherwise, so he does as told

you check the worksheet, marking all the incorrect answers before setting down your red pen and resting your chin in the palm of your hand with boredom

“I’m listening.”

“the note I gave you to meet me at the field that day… it was actually meant for someone else.”

“so you were planning to confess to someone.”

“yes,” yujin confirms before a wave of confusion hits his face. “wait, what? you knew?”

you shrug. “it was more of a heavy suspicion with the heart and the chocolate milk. but you were the one that asked for tutoring so I couldn’t say no to a client.”

“but you practically knew I was lying! I thought you hated people wasting your time.”

“I do. it’s what I hate more than anything. I only accepted because I need the money.” you stand up and begin to pack your belongings. “now that everything’s all cleared up, we can go our separate ways, right?”

“no!” yujin shouts, garnering weird looks from everyone in the library

feeling embarrassed with all the eyes drawn to you, you decide to leave anyways

and yujin finds himself chasing after you

at first, there’s not much rhyme or reason as to why, just a lingering ambiguity of regret and general instinct

though as he catches up to you towards the front of the school, he starts to piece together what it is that he’s feeling

the thing about yujin is that he never goes out of his way to make things right

if he makes a mistake, then he’ll ignore the entire situation all together until the remorse and responsibility fade away

that’s what he’s always been doing with you, cowardly entering and exiting your personal space without permission and then having nothing to make up for it

he yells for you to wait up, but you don’t stop in your tracks until he runs faster and blocks your path

you roll your eyes. “what?”

yujin catches his breath. “look, I’m sorry for being a nuisance. I want to apologize by working harder. I’ll pay more attention this time and get my grades up.”

“you don’t have to pity me. I’ll still survive with or without the tutoring money.”

“I’m not pitying you! I know I didn’t come into this with the best intentions, but I’ll make your time worth it, I promise.”

to you, his words may not bear much weight, but you decide to give him one last chance. if things started going south, then hopefully he’d get the hint and you could drop him for good

“we start again the day after tomorrow. don’t be late.”

while your doubt initially overtook any faith you had in the boy, yujin turns out to be better than you thought he was

you figure out he’s not failing all his classes like he had exaggeratedly claimed before

he’s more of a decent student that could use a good push, and once you help him tap into his potential, yujin actually begins to see an improvement in his grades

little by little, you even find other aspects of your life seeping into his too

such as eating lunch together

it wasn’t a daily must, but yujin felt bad constantly seeing you eat lunch by yourself, despite your protests of enjoying the solitude

it started with him calling you over to ask questions on the class material, and then slowly evolved into him inviting you over with no particular reason at all

as his best friend, gunwook would be there as well

“park.”

“hello to you too, l/n.”

yujin can’t help but snort, eating his lunch in amusement. “you guys are still so formal with each other.”

“competition is competition. I’m going to outrank you someday, l/n,” gunwook declares with a playful smirk

you only rest your head on the desk, using your arms as a cushion

“try me, park. try me.”

“you’re not going to eat?” yujin points out

“forgot to bring anything. was too tired from work last night.”

yujin takes a snack from his lunch bag and taps your arm with it before placing it on the desk

reluctantly, you accept the offering

“how do you do it?” gunwook queries. “my parents don’t allow me to have a part-time job, because they want my main priority to be school and the debate team.”

you sigh. “I work hard because if I don’t, then what else do I have? making friends and going out doing nonsense is for the people who have the time and money to afford it.”

albeit a bit hurt, yujin appears more puzzled than disappointed by your answer

“doing nonsense? you mean having fun?”

you continue on explaining, ignoring his comment, “I used to do my regular tutoring schedule and my part-time job last year, but it became too exhausting. some students are just a piece of work.”

“except me, right?”

you give him a small nod, lips curling upward just a fraction, but even that makes yujin’s heart skip a beat. “thankfully, you’re one of the better ones.”

for the majority of the lunch period, gunwook’s the one to actually keep you entertained, the two of you casually engaging in an academic conversation that has yujin lost in his own thoughts

“but seriously, y/n, you need to relax sometimes. you’ll get burnt out if you keep going like this,” gunwook says, tapping below his eye to refer to your dark circles

yujin begins to notice just how tired you are, the layers of fatigue sewn into your skin

and it’s in that moment a lightbulb goes off in his head

“oh, I have a good idea! y/n, can we cancel our tutoring session later today?”

“no,” you instantly shut him down, resulting in him childishly sulking

“can we do something after then? it’ll be a surprise!”

‘I hate surprises’ is what you want to say, but his pleading eyes oddly have an effect on you

and that’s how he lures you into a rare afternoon detour

“an arcade?”

“yeah!” he cheers, then studies your wary reaction. “you’ve never been?”

you give him a pointed look. “what do you think the answer to that question is?”

yujin pouts, rambling on and on about how he knew this wasn’t exactly your scene but was still baffled to the fact you’ve never stepped foot into an arcade in your life

he brings this up when you majorly lose to him in air hockey, dance dance revolution, and every game under the sun

your reflexes are some of the worse he’s ever seen

however, you still let him explain the rules each time and don’t get upset when you crash and burn, so he appreciates your efforts to try and understand the experience

then lastly, he guides you towards the line of claw machines, peering at the prizes inside each one

he asks if there’s anything you’re interested in, but you just let him choose

he goes with one filled with pastel colored stuff animals, aiming for a baby blue bunny that he ends up completely missing

“do you want to give it a try?” he asks but inserts the cash and ushers you forward before you’ve even decided yet

toying with the buttons experimentally, you give it your best shot

“ah, that was so close!” yujin’s hands shoot up to weave through his hair as you almost had it

“stupid machine,” you mutter, kicking the bottom of it with your sneaker. “aren’t these things just money suckers? what’s so fun about them?”

“you’re just saying that because you didn’t win.”

“oh, I’ll win,” you say with determination, your competitive side finally taking over

yujin goes around analyzing the side angles and directing you where to move the claw, and while you don’t verbal respond, he can see by the claw movements that you’re listening to him

once it’s aligned to your liking, you watch as it drops and barely latches onto the bunny’s ear, miraculously holding on enough to release it right into the prize box in the corner

yujin audibly celebrates the success more than you do, but there’s prominent sense of accomplishment you throughly enjoy

you retrieve the stuffed bunny and shove it in his hand. “here.”

he tries to give it back but you stubbornly refuse to take it from him

“don’t you want to keep it? you won it, after all,” he says

“I don’t really care for stuffed animals. it kind of looks like you though, so consider it yours. think of it as a gift for improving your test scores.”

he innocently holds the stuffed bunny up to his face. “it looks like me?”

you laugh, and yujin thinks it’s the most beautiful laugh he’s ever heard

you teasingly tilt your head and put a finger on your chin, an action so out of character that he’s almost memorized by it

“hmm… maybe the bunny’s a little cuter.”

a chuckle escapes from yujin’s lips and his eyes refuse to leave the ground

but when he looks back up again, he’s met by your warm and comforting expression, a side he’s never seen of you before

and while the moment passes and the day comes to an end, you’re the last thing on his mind that night and the first thing the next morning

then in the following weeks, thinking of you becomes routine

it makes him reflect on why he held onto his previous crush for so long, because you’re nothing like them yet the way he feels about you is stronger than anything he’s ever felt before

his entire life, yujin’s always been stuck in his comfort zone

and he thought that to like someone, the more things they have in common, the better

yujin thinks about how you both have opposite upbringings, opposite hobbies, opposite personalities, and how none of that really matters to him

in fact, it’s one of the main reasons he’s grown to like you so much

he likes letting you into his world, and his heart flutters when you let him into yours

whether it’s you telling him about your favorite books or the kind of music you listen to when you study, he wants to know it all

one day, he searches his room for the book he had bought all those months ago

it ignites a sense of nostalgia in him when he finds it, the memory now feeling so distant considering how far your relationship has developed since

though when he gifts it to you, he doesn’t quite get the reaction he’s expecting

“oh, thanks. how did you know I needed a new copy?”

yujin’s almost dumbfounded by the question

“because… I was the one that ruined the original… I got water all over it, remember? I actually bought the new one not too long after everything happened, but I was too scared to give it to you.”

“oh, that was you?” there’s a small glimpse of guilt in your eyes for not remembering. “sorry, I’ve never been good with names and faces.”

“but you remembered gunwook’s name back then. you called him park.”

“because he’s class president and a high ranking student. you know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” you say half-jokingly

“are you only interested in people like gunwook?”

“well, I wouldn’t say that. I like you, don’t I?”

yujin’s face can’t help but glow a bright red

he knows you don’t mean it as a confession, though a part of him wishes he could’ve poured his heart out right then and there nonetheless

and that’s not the only instance where he gets that inclination

it’s the very thing that eats away at him until he finally plans to act on it

he waits until the end of the semester for final exams to be over so he doesn’t accidentally overwhelm or burden you while you’re already stressed out

“is it just me or am I getting déjà vu?” is the first thing you say when you meet him in the familiar location by the field

his stance is awkward, smile crooked, and his hands are stiffly hidden behind his back

there’s a brief pause in the air as he mentally prepares himself again and again with what he had practiced beforehand

firstly, an icebreaker

“so, what are you doing over break?”

you rack your brain for a second. “probably just picking up more shifts at work. nothing interesting.”

“I’ll be able to visit you though, right?”

“sure,” you say with an airy laugh at his eager tone, “I mean, we can just hang out whenever too, but I’m guessing that’s not what you brought me here to talk about.”

you’re about to confront him on his weird posture, but he abruptly beats you to the punch

“close your eyes and hold your hand out,” he instructs

“why?”

“just do it.”

yujin nervously places a small item in the center of your palm and covers it up by folding your fingers to form a fist around it

when he tells you to open your eyes again, you curiously unravel your fingers and look at it with a blank expression

“why are you giving me your name tag?”

“you really don’t know what it means?” yujin slowly asks, scratching the nape of his neck. “then it means nothing, sorry for bothering you!”

he tries to to end the conversation at that, but you hook a hand around his wrist to prevent him from walking away

“yujin,” you call out his name softly, “just be honest with me.”

he freezes, and it feels like an eternity has passed until—with a sudden splurge of confidence—he holds your hand that was originally on his wrist and takes a step closer to you

“when someone gives a person their name tag, it means that they like them.”

it’s right there he realizes he’ll remember this moment forever, because it’s the first time he’s ever made you speechless

he uses the hand not intertwined with yours to point at your cheeks

“y/n, are you blushing?”

you immediately swat his hand away. “no, I’m not.”

he stares at you patiently for a proper response to his confession, an annoying grin plastered on his face like he’s taunting the answer out of you

silently, you remove the name tag from your blazer and place it in his palm

“can I hear your answer aloud?”

that makes you snap your head up and gently push him by the shoulder. “hey, you technically didn’t say it outright either!”

yujin bursts out into laughter, but once the atmosphere becomes quiet again, it’s his turn to blush

“I like you, y/n. I really, really like you.”

you give his hand a light squeeze. “and I really, really like you too, han yujin.”

main masterlist

ZHANG HAO - red line

"how many times did we run from each other? how many times did i walk out the door? into the dark, we're no good for each other."

SUNG HANBIN - bad omens

"can't help the way i keep ignoring every omen. heaven knows i should let go, it's nothing that i don't already know."

SEOK MATTHEW - wherever you are

"for a while we pretended that we never had to end it, but we knew we'd have to say goodbye."

SHEN RICKY - ghost of you

"we're too young, too dumb, to know things like love. but i know better now."

PARK GUNWOOK - close as strangers

"late night calls and another text, is this as good as we're gonna get? another timezone taking me away from you."

KIM TAERAE - caramel

"it's been a while since you and i been where we started, i don't wanna let it fade away. it used to be easy, now you can't even look me in the eye."

KIM GYUVIN - lonely heart

"if you can't find another reason to stay, then i know i'm gonna have a lonely heart."

KIM JIWOONG - lover of mine