Crypt 🖤💜🩶🤍

Now instead of checking my blood sugar i’m calling it checking my vibes

Continuous vibe monitor

Im always scared to call someone my friend because what if they dont consider me a friend and hate me because of that

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

i often feel like a dog that's been tasked with paperwork

crossfaded somewhere between "there has to be more to life than this" and "every mundane thing is beautiful when you're with people you love"

black mold and lead can’t affect me because i’m pure of heart

the app crashed three times trying to reblog this post

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

"i get a little bit genghis khan" was such a strange and delightful thing to say in a pop song

Honestly if you’re not a furry at this point there’s something wrong with you