Weird and Awkward

Three years ago (I think, haha, it’s so dramatic to start a narrative with a time jump to the past it makes everything climactic, anyway), I decided to donate my hair, I thought it was long enough but then I looked it up and saw different organizations accepting hair donations for different reasons and one of them is for cancer patients who can’t afford full cranial prosthesis. The hairlength had so be 12 inches or longer, and since my hair was already long enough and I absolutely hate barbershops or salons I decided that I think I need to donate my hair. It will be easier for me since I won’t have to bother myself with any sort of high maintenance grooming because my hair is naturally silky and falls to its end perfectly. I began to grow my hair and I talked to my mom and my sister and they were okay with it at first but then when it grew even longer they were already asking me to cut it because I haven’t told them I was gay yet at the time and they were somehow against the idea of me looking all too feminine, but it took the guts in me to tell them and I finally did; I came out to my mom and sister and somehow it has something to do with my growing hair. I think. All my friends liked the way my hair and how it was growing and they were really nice enough to give me compliments about it. My hair became my identity, like it was a part of me (haha). They’d think of Syd and they’d see a mental image of a long-haired dude or say, “Ah! Yung may mahabang buhok?” And it was nice. I liked my hair, it gave me so much confidence at some point and it made me feel good about myself. There were a lot of times when I would think about styling it or coloring it, but it goes against my cause. I was saving it all up to give to someone who wants it. Growing my hair and giving it so much love was easy and it was fun. I had so much pictures with my long hair that I forgot what I would look like with a clean cut hair. Cutting it wasn’t easy, I really had to sum up all my courage and I know I needed help to do it because as long as I let my fears and anxieties overwhelm me (because I kept thinking: what if I don’t look good with short hair? what if I don’t like it? and all the kind of stuff) I won’t ever be brave enough to finally have a haircut, so while my friends and I were shopping for graduation clothes, I asked them to take me to a salon to have my haircut and at times I tried to talk my way out of it again yet they were persistent enough because I think they know I feel that I need to do it already. And with Graduation around the corner, I needed to look nice and fresh for it. I also needed a new look. So, while they were cutting my hair I was sitting on the chair watching them chop it all off and I can’t help but feel emotional because those were good hair, haha, and although I didn’t cry, I still feel a bit sad. After it all, I was so proud of myself for going through it, finally. I have something to give back to my dad. This was in honor of him. Donating my hair and deciding to grow my hair was all for him because he lost a battle to cancer, and I saw his struggle. I know donating hair isn’t going to make it better or find a cure for anyone with cancer, but I know people have high regards to how they look and I don’t intend to conceal insecurities, but instead I want them to feel what I felt when I had my hair; I want them to feel confident because even though you’re bald doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be fabulous. I am giving my hair away to make someone else feel better. I hope it somehow does. It’s been real, hair, but some things must come to an end. I am facing a new chapter of my life in just a few days and I need to prepare for it head on, so I started with you. I hope whoever gets my hair gives them as much confidence as it has given me. My hair was part of my whole college experience and so I am letting it go as I should, grateful as I am, we need to learn when it is time to walk forward and leave some things behind for the better; for a fresh new start.

Scars for life 

Too much depressing strips lately. I promise to get more humorous ones up again. Also, I drew Toby in his human disguise instead just for this update.