I do tarot (and stuff)

"godless beast" and it's literally Dionysus in animal form.

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

why would i do that lmao

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

You are a legendary blacksmith, sought out for your ability to fix anything. Talking swords, obsidian breastplates, staves made of crystal, daggers forged from dragon scales, you've done it all. The real challenge today is a young hero asking you to fix what they call their 'plot armor'.

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

Reblog to give me the horrors

My horrors at the moment mostly come from a microscopic intestinal parasite that I'm pretty sure you don't want

It'll die in me

My horrors are beyond the ken of mortals.

I'm not mortal

idk this is just funny to me

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

A lot more than 4 of us are impressed