why can't I BE better!!! why do I trap myself in bed, as if I need it for life support! why can't I do art anymore! why do I let commissions reach their one year anniversary! why am I stuck watching the same media eating the same foods and ignoring the same responsibilities!! why can't I be the type of person I WANT to be - who reads poetry and ancient literature and keeps up on skincare and doesn't avoid friends and gets shit done and posts things for the betterment of my future and feels confident and secure and sleeps at a reasonable time and most importantly DOESNT PROCRASTINATE!!!! why am I like this! why why why why why!

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told my sister I was bi today. she didn't say anything negative at all, and yet I felt myself burning with shame regardless.

I got sunburnt yesterday, pretty badly, and I can't stop thinking of how stupid I am for letting that happen. just when I thought my skincare was taking a positive turn. I really really hope this doesn't leave a lasting mark and heals quickly so I can repair the damage.