Evil's Theater incorrect quotes (ft Michaela became I headcanon she hung out with them)
Hänsel: Is the pink panther a lion?
Gear: Say that again but slower.
Hänsel: Is that a type of lion?
Gear: No, it’s a fucking panther.
Hänsel: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?
Court, to the crew: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.
Court, ignoring her: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.
Michaela, holding out a cookie for Lilith: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you!
Michaela, holding out another cookie for Gammon: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you!
Gammon, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!
Hänsel: The Ocean is a soup.
Hänsel: What are needed for something to be a soup?
Banica: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.
Banica: The Ocean is a Soup.
Hänsel: The Ocean is a Soup.
Michaela: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.
Gretel: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.
Court: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.
Gretel: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.
Court: All of your existences are confusing.
Court: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.
Michaela: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Michaela, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
Lich: I just ended a five year relationship.
Gammon: Oh no, are you okay?
Lich: It's okay, it wasn't mine.
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