Drugs not Hugs

I remember being 11 (forever ago, I know) and writing the dumbest dookie doo doo bullshit I could conjure up until that point. zombie apocalypse "thrillers", I was writing storylines for gacha life videos, trying to write original works that ended up going absolutely nowhere. I hit every single major cringe phase when I was in middle school so trust that I was writing a lot of stuff. My biggest "break" was a fanfic that had over 2k reads. you're never gonna guess what the fandom was. seriously, you're never going to. and you don't have to because I'm gonna tell you. Llamas With Hats. that stupid early 2010s short series made by the same guys who gave us Charlie the Unicorn. yeah, I wrote a yaoi fanfiction about 2 llamas. and no, I never deleted it. it is on Wattpad and my own mother has found it and read it. go and find it yourself if you'd like. it's exactly the kind of quality you should expect of an 11 year old in-denial-lesbian going through an extreme phase of angst and self-hatred.

I own up to it now because it was over 6 years ago and it's honestly hilarious to think about. it was written entirely because I thought "I bet if I write some bs instead of trying to write real story, I'll get more reads". and boom, it did.

all that to say: someone, somewhere, somehow will likely find your work. even if its full of grammatical errors, even if the paragraph structure is an eyesore, even if you use "POV:" every 2 paragraphs to change the point of view (definitely not a self-report...), there's still at least one human in the world that will find it and read it. you dont need a robot to curate a series of words just for people to engage with your ideas.

if you want someone to check for errors or give writing advice, ask online. (TW: Reddit) I have unfortunately gotten some of my best writing advice from Reddit. so many people want to read and write and at least one other human from any point in time has asked that very same question that you have. there are threads on Tumblr too on what to do! if you have internet access to make Shat-GTP (stinky) generate 10k words in a row to resemble a fanfic for you to upload as your own work, then you have internet access to a Google doc, any blog or internet forum, and any fanfiction website to upload it to.

fanfics dont make you money, you do them because they're fun. your payment is someone in the comments saying how theyre gonna shake you if you don't upload the next chapter. that's how it should be. the fun is writing it. you have full control and 100% autonomy over what you write. some of you freaks abuse that free will (I'm looking at you, Kinktober and Dead Dove: Do Not Eat authors) but it's your free will to do so and I love that you are using it to it's capacity. if you dont like how a show ended, rewrite it. if you wished a scene was different and that two characters interacted more, make them interact, give them more scenes! it's what makes a fandom.

where would we be as a society without the "1D buying Y/N" fanfics or the Twilight fanfic that inspired 50 Shades of Grey? the Icelandic translation of Dracula (the one where the translator added more raunchy scenes) is a fanfic, any and all historical fiction novels are fanfics, even Julius Caesar by Shakespeare was a fanfic! and not a single one of them used generative AI to do so.

generative AI does not make art more accessible. Beethoven was a deaf musician, there are artists without hands that are creating beautiful paintings, there are countless blind authors and painters, there are even people who can draw and paint using their MOUTHS. generative AI doesn't make it accessible, it makes you feel like you are not capable of making art. people who truly want to create art will not let anything, even physical handicaps, stop them from doing what they love. something being "good" is subjective. if it makes you happy to view or create, then it is good art.

initial phase was a LOT of trial and error on getting the little guy to stick to the bowl without creating huge cracks that would detach him in the kiln. it probably took 3 days to make sure he was fully secured on there.

I have also never made a ceramic spoon in my entire life! I was so excited to see how it turned out. its supposed to be a soup spoon. kind of like the ones you get when you order udon or miso.

never got a picture of when I attached his arms or carved details but oh well. my favorite part was carving his little buttcrack.

but he DID survive the kiln. I was so excited that he didnt, like, explode.

I spent probably 4 hours painting the underglaze. longest part was trying to paint into the engraved spots while also trying to keep as little from getting on the edges as possible. i still ended up painting over the imperfections but I didnt want to risk making an ugly color with the mixed glazes (spoiler: it did mix in some spots).

he's sad for comedic reasons. sorry little fella...

please meet my 2-month-old project:

SpongeSpoon and Pat-thick

I gave them a thick dunk in the clear glaze and two days later, they were born.

both are food safe. will I be eating off of them? probably not. they might get the honor of holding a few goldfish crackers but I'm too scared of chipping them to use it for its intended purpose.

I love the ugly parts of it. its a nice reminder that I still have things to learn, even after creating something I'm proud of. its also nice to know its something i made myself. trust me, you could NOT buy this anywhere. I'm also not selling it because The Bob would get me. is Nickelodeon as awful as Disney? regardless, he is mine, he is my baby.

I'm also posting this after finding out my most recent ceramics piece blew it's foot off in the kiln 😭

you win some, you lose some. I'll definitely post it when I'm done because I adore how it turned out. well, besides the 1/8th of an inch missing off the bottom of it but thats fine. adds character.

IM GONNA MURDER THE WRITERS WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEYRE NOT GONNA BE CANON.

anyways. ive been gay for a while so this isn't even like the 10th time this has happened to me. I turned to Pinterest for memes until I can continue writing Wenclair fanfiction in spite.

I hate queerbait. its so fucking annoying. Knowing your fan base is mostly queer, promoting queer characters and boasting about representation and how the cast supports the two main characters being a couple, and STILL not doing it.

Maybe im just too gay to understand but how does anyone see Wednesday with a man. I watched this show back in like January of 2023. I clocked the gay from across the room.

Wednesday is manipulative to everyone which is just her character. not saying its good, its just her. Some of the other characters clock this and tell her what's up, ESPECIALLY Enid. When Tyler fucks off back to hell where he belongs, not a blink. When Xavier is accused of being the killer and gets upset with her, she only kind of apologizes because he's a pushover. But when ENID tells her what's what, OH. MY. GOD.

Wednesday snaps back because shes an asshole, duh, and Enid does too and leaves. Wednesday literally POUTS. She's almost in tears because shes realizing how being alone isn't always nice. Enid comes back, shes excited but points out that Enid is also coming back to her. When Enid does move back in, Wednesday VOLUNTARILY eases up on her boundaries with the tape.

When shes expelled, Enid is sad but says she'll miss her. Wednesday LITERALLY says the mark she left on her will remind her of things for the rest of her life. It's less gay to just say you love her slash srs.

NOT TO MENTION THE FINALE OF SEASON 1!?!?!

Enid hugs her, Wednesday is confused but then hugs her back. Not a little "ew get this over with" hug. But an "I almost thought I lost you" hug.

thats just season 1. season 2 is baiting harder than a mother fucker.

First, Wednesday is just so soft with the way she greets Enid for the first time after summer vacation. She gets a gift from Enid and is like 🤏 thisssss close to smiling when she gives Enid her gift. could be a smile about making her creeped out but let me remind you, SHE DOESNT EVEN REALLY SMILE WHEN SHES DOING THAT TO OTHER PEOPLE.

Second, Enid is constantly calling her her bestie this season AND when shes with Bruno (ew, boy), she literally called Wednesday the light at the end of her tunnel. THERES NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLINATION FOR THAT.

Wednesday envisions someone dying. She loves that shit. But when its Enid!? Friendly reminder, when she thought Thing was dead, she was CRYING. WEDNESDAY DOESNT GAF IF SOMEONE DIES UNLESS SHE TRULY DEEPLY CARES ABOUT THEM. On top of that, shes making a point to protect her quite literally by any means.

Runs across the room when Enid pranks her and immediately tells Thing to get help. (she thought she was dead)

Flips a picnic table to cover Enid from the crows she saw in her vision.

Puts herself in danger of her (not really but also kind of) ex bf to find the root of Enid's threat. He threatens Enid specifically and she is PISSED.

Wednesday asks Fester to get into the mental hospital to figure all this out and BREAKS IN to help him. All of this just so she can save Enid.

WEDNESDAY GETS THROWN OUT A WINDOW DOING THIS ALL FOR ENID.

this isn't even beginning to mention the homoeroticism of the novel. I personally havent read it, but ive seen quotes where Wednesday describes Enid as stunning or points out that her outfit compliments her eyes.

They hyped this up, promising us more of this for three years. Then the season comes out, they give us more, and while we're on Hiatus, they crush the idea.

Again, maybe I'm too gay for this, but if you're gonna lean so heavily into this, why not attract a wider and more devoted audience by letting them be canon. Or, MAKE WEDNESDAY AROMANTIC/ASEXUAL. If she doesnt like Enid, then she doesnt like anyone. period.

as a queer person who is constantly seeking out representation, I and soooo many other people become hooked in a fandom when there's even a chance of representation. And, im embracing my inner CEO slash super evil capitalist here, wouldn't you profit more by securing that devoted audience? For example, when Arcane was in limbo with Caitvi, I was using entire paychecks to buy merch and fan made content. Now, take an age-old character (Wednesday), adapt her to the modern world (literally all of s1), and mix in queer representation, and you will have an audience that will watch literally WHATEVER you make now. Tim Burton is a great director and I guarantee almost everyone recognizes his name and style. Having solid and confirmed queer rep on top of this is like an infinite money glitch like im not even joking.

also, now you get bragging rights about being a show with a queer relationship between the two main characters.

it feels like such a waste on Enid's character to just have her chase new boy after new boy now that shes "normal" in the wolfpack. she literally called the wolf camp her mom suggested "conversion therapy". That's so queer coded in and of itself. Someone sees something "not right" about you, tries to "fix it", and then you eventually embrace yourself and you find your own accepting group. for the record, Wednesday never gaf that Enid couldn't wolf out.

she has ALWAYS loved her. when she was certain she didn't, Enid left and she lowkey crashed out. this season, Enid asks if she even wants to be her best friend and Wednesday seems genuinely offended that Enid would suggest that.

I think im yelling at the walls of my padded room at this point. its 4am for me and im hypoglycemic so im extra entitled about this. this is what ao3 is for.

I absolutely still have not processed the ending because im actually losing my sanity...

So we get caitvi