Mood Swings

I guess I’m just about to vent because fucking life is really cockblocking me right now. For the past month I’ve had the worst luck with everything. With my car and job and boy and ugh. Drunk driver smashed my car thank goodness it was parked so no one was hurt but damn freaked out over that. Got a rental after a while and then that car broke down the day before I was gunna get a new car so that was fun. Found out my boy is a fucking ass but hey when have I ever said no to an asshole and at this point I’m stuck in a constant state of eh. I have one friend that I have mixed feelings for at my job and he’s going through shit so he’s leaving which makes me wanna leave. School has me stressing to the max and I haven’t even started classes yet it’s the build up and paper work and all this paper work with job and car and school and fuck paper it stresses me the hell out. I’ve been getting paranoid again which hasn’t happened in a hot second. I feel like I have the worst luck and I don’t know what’s causing it. Little things like ripping a hole my favorite sweater on a counter is tripping me out like why can’t I have one nice thing or day or hour for goodness sake. And now I’m dealing with health issues too which I don’t handle well and I don’t know if that’s stress or bad juju. A part of me thinks life is telling to leave the asshole and my life will have less bad luck but shit maybe I’m just supposed to live a shit life. I guess I’ll find out. Shoutout to those friends who are getting me through this without actually freaking the fuck out because even my family has been distant and so useless. Goddamn I feel so shit and vulnerable and I just want one good day without a car breaking down or argument or health issue or anything. I want to get in bed and just sleep and not have the thought that I’m having to protect myself from life and fate. I’m really trying to appreciate the good things but every time I do that something bad fucking happens what a tease.