Team of Dweebs

“That is honestly a quote I never thought I would hear in my life. Absolutely incredible.” If they can beat Santaroth, The Gang™ will have NO PROBLEM taking over the school.

…Oh boy.

“What, you here to just poke fun at us? I doubt a holy figure such as yourself would willingly join a gang.” Eric, no.

"Oh, believe me, I have no intention of joining whatever after school kids club you're running. But I couldn't help but overhear you're little talk. You say Santa Claus has grown all powerful? Well, I'm sure you wouldn't need the help of random strangers when you have your Old Pal Joshua. Christmas has importance to me too, you know." WOW.

“Wait, that was from you? Fucking incredible.” WOW.

“You really think of everything, huh? And also, true. Clearly, we need to recruit more people to The Gang™ to get the forces needed to combat him.”

"That was me... Don't tell anyone. It was a desperate situation." Pfft.

"But yeah, we need more peoppe to help beat Santaroth. He's gotten stronger, but it won't matter. The Gang™ will save Christmas with the REAL SUPERPOWER OF TEAMWORK!" WOW.

...

"But uh... Who the fuck do we recruit--"

"Hello!"

“Nothing but a minor setback…” The EVIL MAN remarks, his voice ominously echoing.

“OKAY, COOL! THANKS!” Cue DYNAMIC ROLL INTO THE SAFE ZONE.

“I THOUGHT THIS ASSHOLE DIED LAST YEAR!”

“So did I! I was sure those Five Hour Energy© laced cookies worked…” What.

Cue sounds of BATTLE as Santaroth tries to get past the barrier while fighting an unseen force for a few seconds, before Santaroth retreats

“YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT! RUN, YOU LITTLE FUCKER!”

Oh FUCK!!!!!!

“HOLY SHIT! HE’S ACRUALLY RETREATING! FUCK ‘EM UP ERIC!”

He has vanished….. We are safe, for now….!!!

"ACTIVATE THE SANTA DEFENSES! HE HAS INFILTRATED THE NERD SQUADS DOMAIN! I REPEAT, HE HAS INFILTRATED THE NERD SQUADS DOMAIN!"

“WE ARE THE COOLEST–”

And cue the roof coming down, fucking more of the school’s shit up… yet leaving the two gang members completely unharmed. HOW.

“SEE?! EVEN THE ROOF DOESN’T FUCK WITH US!”

I’M SO MAD.

"DAMN RIGHT! THIS IS OUR TURF NOW!"

WHAT ARE YOU DOING--STOP SPRAY PAINTING THE WALL.

“Fucked up is an understatement. I think it’s actually collapsing.”

…

“HELL FUCKING YEAH! AIN’T NO WAY ANYONE’S GONNA TOP THAT.”

AND HE’S JUST SLAV SQUATTING NEXT TO SHO, SNAPPING HIS FINGERS TOO. FUCKING HELL.

"HAHAHAAAA! SUCK IT, PRINCIPAAAAL!"

"Yoooo. Sorry I've been away, kinda got stuck on another planet and had to leave by using explosions and yelling. No big deal--"

"You were gone? I didn't even notice."

OUCH.

Somehow, the impact didn’t kill her. But it DID knock her out.

Eric follows soon after, dusting himself off.

“Holy shit. I’m honestly astounded.”

…

“FUCK YES!” Cue HIGH FIVE.

NICE HIGH FIVE.

"That was the best idea you've ever had! I can't believe it actually WORKED!"

Sho tookma big ol' breath of Earth Air.

"Man... How long were we even gone? Our squads must of been worried!"

Meanwhile, on Earth…

“What a nice day. It’s peaceful and quiet…” Sayaka enjoys her peace for a few more seconds…

BEFORE OUR HEROES COME CRASHING DOWN ON HER.

GET OWNED.

LANDING.... SUCCESSFUL. THANK GOD SAYAKA WAS THERE TO PREVENT ANY DAMAGE.

Sho gets up, fixing his hair...

"Dude. We did it. We actually did it."

...

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA–FUCK, MY THROAT HURTS-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA–”

The camera zooms in and–HOLY SHIT IT IS EARTH.

THEY’RE GONNA IMPACT AT MAXIMUM VELOCITY. GOODBYE TO WHATEVER IS BELOW.

"Heck." Nice.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. THEY'RE A HUMAN METEOR.

THEY DID IT.

I WISH I COULD SAY I KNEW.

“TAAAAAAALLLLLLL PEOPLEEEEEEEEE!”

They’re speeding up, too. Son of a fuck.

Get fucked, stone

If this really works I’m gonna piss.

"JOSSSSHHHUUUAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

THEY'RE RAGING TO THE NTH DIMENSION. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST--

“WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Not even space can stop them now. We’re doomed.

And bless that invincible hair–Eric. Eric are you seriously.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!”

OH GOD DAMMIT. THE WORST PART OF THIS IS THAT I THINK IT’S WORKING, BECAUSE THEIR COURSE IS BEING ADJUSTED.

WHY. WHY IS THIS WORKING.

"GOOOOOD DAMMMMMIIIIIIT!!!"

...They're GOING PRETTY FAST. WHAT THE HELL.

They also passed some weird rock that looked like a person. Strange!

“Awesome! Anyways… ONE! TWO! THREE!”

And cue Eric making an upwards leap, detonating the explosives, causing an absolutely massive explosion and launching the two idiots into space.

Well, that’s gonna leave a mark.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–”

"OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT--!!"

There they go. Into the depths of space due to a FUCKING EXPLOSION. HOW ARE THEY STILL ALIVE.

Sho's hair is A-OK and I guess that's what matters.

...Wait what are you doing--

"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

“I know, right? I’ve outdone myself this time.” I SWEAR.

…I WASN’T EXPECTING SHO TO AGREE, FUCKING HELL.

“Hell yes! I’ve got the detonator rigged up and everything!” And cue Eric climbing onto the pile, detonator ready and gesturing for Sho to join him.

“On the count of three, we jump. Ready?”

NEITHER DID I. I HATE THESE TWO.

“I’m never gonna be ready, but let’s do it anyway.”