I feel ya, anon. But, like I have said numerous times: Not Just Larries. Larries promulgated this behavior but it has oozed over into a mindset taken on by many who were not Larries and/or are new to the fandom. But it isn’t limited to the former-1D fandom. It is endemic in fandom culture. Over the last 5-10 years this mindset has infiltrated many fandoms – nothing we see is real, it’s all fake, there are things being hidden from us that we have a RIGHT to know, everyone is gay, I own them, I control them, their lives are performative for ME – they are my paperdolls to do with what I please, I am special because I can see what everyone else can’t, if it does not go my way I will do what I can to destroy it. It’s a tinhat playbook at this point. The problem is that this is so normalized, that many “genuinely believe” that they are simply having fun, that it’s not “that deep” – but when you are projecting your wants and needs and fantasies to this extent onto someone, I do feel it’s problematic, and unhealthy. As for the specific projections onto Harry… well, I have curated my dash, blacklisted tags, used Tumblr Saviour, in an attempt to not even have to see that rubbish. I have a real problem personally when I see “fans” saying things about the male friends and acquaintances in Harry’s life that they would never dare say about the women in his life (the list is LOOOOONG). That right there is a red flag for me. There is a lot of fetishizing going on that is very Larrie-like and dismissing it as a cute headcanon is disregarding everything that has occurred over the last 8 years because it’s a damn slippery slope. I get it – there always has been and always will be thirst over an attractive celebrity. I’m not immune. But for heaven’s sake, you are putting things on a public forum - a modicum of restraint and respect shouldn’t be a difficult thing to attain. A friend pointed out to me an aspect of sexual fantasies that I took to heart, that there are circumstances where the fantasy does not always have to involve you because of your own personal sexuality, but when you remove yourself from the fantasy simply because gay sex is so hot and women interfere with that fantasy, my ICK-meter goes to 100. That’s fetishizing, my friend. With a good dose of misogyny. And this is all simply my opinion, plenty will disagree and the argument will be “it’s just fun!” “it’s not that serious”. Well, OK. Have your “fun”. Just be aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it. A little insight and self-reflection never hurts in any aspect of your life. Besos, anon.
