she had only allowed herself to be honest and open with john over the hurt that the league threw upon her everyday; their distrust over magic, over HER, it crumbled the typical pride and joy that came from a life filled with magic. it may have been part of the reason that john detested them so much. 

arms raised so that palms rested against his shoulders, fingers playing with the tan lapels of his typical overcoat with near loving caresses. a sigh betrayed her former bravado. 

‘      bruce knows where they believe darkseid is hiding but refuses to tell me. we could kindly ask him   ?      ’

John sighed dramatically at her suggestion. “And here I thought run off meant back to the house and out of here” honestly he had no issue taking her and leaving. Holding up in the house and let this horrible plan unfold and deal with the aftermath.

However it was obvious zatanna thought the opposite.

“Yes I’m sure he’d just turn over it if we ask” he chuckled at the thought.

“Or if your being a tad more rebellious we could use our ways of getting it from him.” He said his lips curling into a devilish smirk.”and not ask him, I wager that will work in our favor much better” 

She gave a small shrug of her shoulders, before she got up and headed to the kitchen. Filling up the tea kettle, she popped it on the stove, turning it on. “Just because you’ve always trusted me, doesn’t mean you’ve always trusted me with this,” she pointed out. “It’s a special kind of trust to open yourself like that and trust that I won’t run away, that I won’t look at you any differently when you’re done bearing to me all the parts of yourself that you hate the most,” she said. Zatanna busied herself as she spoke. Reaching up she pulled down two tea cups, they didn’t match, somehow none of the china in Zatanna’s house didn’t match.

Plucking two different tea bags out of a small wooden box. A simple black tea for her, one of her calming teas for him. She poured them each a cup before she walked them back to the table. Setting one in front of him, and the other in front of her.

“It’s also a special kind of trust to believe I can shoulder your burdens with you,” she pointed out.

It wasn’t hard to recall the the worst of his memories. While he knew he probably tell her everything if only because he couldn’t recall every single thing he had one in his life. But the worst of it, the moments that har large shadows over him...well who wouldn’t be terrified to not only relive those but admit the worst you’ve done to the person you cared for the most. Like condemn a small town in order to avoid a bigger blood shed, more sacrifices of lives he had to choose to do, even lives of his friends, and parts of himself in the process.

It was even a surprise he was even still human at his point. Laughable really, especially considering the demon blood that still flowed through him. Course the pain of it all, it was all proof he hadn’t crossed that line.

John almost didn’t want to glance at her. Fear gripped his chest on what he’d see, she was certainly right on that. Even now when all was said and done and he did reveal most of the darkest deeds he’d done..

“You just want to see me dance, this isn’t even a suggestive one, you should be pushing me to do “choli ke peeche,” but okay, since you challenged me,” she said. getting up she walked away into her room to get changed. She returned dressed and bejeweled not unlike the heroine in her infamous dance scene. Covering her face with the veil she turned on the music. Lifting it, she looked at John waiting a few beats before she covered her face again. She didn’t miss a beat, she didn’t miss a moment. Uncovering and recovering her face with the veil. The soft sublime rapture as she held her hands in front of her as if in Islamic prayer. She didn’t just nail the dancing, she nailed the acting as well.

john just shrugged, “you were the one who said it.” he was challenging her. Oh he knew full well she could do it, than an other dances from her Bollywood favorites (hell he’s seen plenty in his time with her) But it was purely for amusement on his part more than anything else. When she left he grabbed himself another beer and made himself comfortable. Popping it open and perching his legs up as she returned. 

John’s eyes never left her little performance, and he couldn’t keep the stupid grin off his face as she performed for him. And while it was impressive she did the dance seamlessly (which he expected) he was more amused she went above and beyond and tossed in the acting as well. 

Leave it to Zatanna to go above and beyond. 

zatanna hated herself when she lost control and the only time it ever amplified was when john was caught in it’s crossfire. he had tried to help her, the magician knew that he had given every ounce of effort to be by her side, and the only progress she had managed was that it was only him that could bring her back down to earth … back to some semblance of sanity. her grip was tight on his forearms as she looked up at him, that magically glaze slowly falling away from blue eyes.

‘  i never left. i can see and feel everything but … i’m a passenger and it’s like the car has no brakes … but then you somehow manage to … ‘  she trailed off with a sigh as she continued to hold onto him for support.