i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them
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i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

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I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.
Some of my favourites include:
Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)
Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?
Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?
Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!
Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?
The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.
So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:
Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"
I love that and want to add my own.
The 20 Minutes Late with Starbucks hypothesis: They noticed us and want to meet us! But since they are several million light-years away and don't have FTL travel, they're just gonna take a while.
Personally I lean towards the First One At The Party Theory. Yeah, the universe is 13 billion years old, but our own life-supporting solar system is 4.6 billion and the majority of known exoplanets are younger than us.
It took about a billion years for life to arise, once our planet existed. If our galactic neighbors are operating on a similar timescale, there might just not be anyone out there yet who’s technologically advanced enough to make contact. Right now, the best we can hope for might be people at similar levels of development to us, looking out at the starts and wondering if anyone else is out there.
don’t know if there’s an official name for this theory but I will call it the “We Can’t Talk To Fish” theory
because while I am absolutely positive that there is life out there (it seems highkey unlikely that in an infinite universe across billions of years only one planet got life), *even if* we were close enough to make contact and *even if* both sides were advanced enough to try to communicate… we might still not ever hear it because it’s in a form we don’t interpret as communication. we have trouble communicating with *other humans,* let alone other species. it’s like sending a probe underwater and hoping the fish talk back to you.
all women deserve a little treat (glowing eyes and the ability to levitate)
RIP Bonnie Tyler 💔
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
Happy moon day to all who celebrate
This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.
MOON DAY MONDAY THIS MONTH NOT A DRILL!!!!!

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unmute for the love of god please it's amazing
to think I would have just swiped past on mute, therefore not hearing pure unadulterated joy

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Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore
feminism has backslid so hard in recent years people don't even know what free the nipple means anymore
For those who genuinely don't know, "free the nipple" is about going topless. As in no clothes over the tits at all.
Two Utah court clerks have been dubbed "anti-ICE vigilantes" after they were allegedly caught "sneaking" immigrants out the back door of the
That's how you show real solidarity!
"After they overheard that ICE was at the courthouse to arrest someone, they improperly accessed court databases to determine who was not born in the United States," a DOJ detention filing says. "They then snuck every suspected illegal alien who was at the courthouse out a back door, where ICE, who was waiting in the parking lot for their target to leave the building, could not see them."
Think about what you can do at your job or in your daily life to resist fascism when the opportunity presents itself!
fundraiser for their legal expenses x

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I really wonder what the demographic outcome would be of trans people involuntarily getting "the body you'd have if practicality wasn't a concern" like what percentage of the resulting bodies would be obviously nonhuman?
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams she found herself transformed in her bed into a cyborg werewolf with dragonfly wings.