U.N.V.E.U

i think one of my favourite things about watching sports (beyond the sport itself) is the magical thinking, the way every spectator feels responsible for the success of the team. the people who are physically there need to sing and scream as loud as possible but then everyone at home has their little rituals. who's to say if the goal we scored was because the players know how to play or because i refused to go to the bathroom, this friend of a friend in rio sat down to watch the game for the first time in his life, these dudes in lanús lit a candle, my cat walked into the room, this woman in caballito did an intention ritual to cure the evil eye, my coworkers in núñez switched seats, a friend froze their goalie. i mean clearly the first option but i think it's (1) hilarious that this kind of magical thinking seems to be largely unavoidable (2) a lot of fun. we're all doing our part ❤️

i think we need to update the “sure he understands leftist theory but does he do the dishes” to “but does he believe assault victims”

I hope fifty good things happen to you within the next 30 seconds. I love you so much

im going to kill myself *remembers i shouldn’t say that or whatever* im going to kill the Fédération Internationale de Football Association

"Kill them with kindness" wrong. 10 PLAGUES OF EGYPT!🩸🩸🩸🐸🐸🐸🪰🪰🪰🐅🐅🐅🐂🐂🐂🥵🥵🥵⛈️⛈️⛈️ 🦗🦗🦗 🌑🌑🌑🪦🪦🪦