Awesomology

My kink is cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing

Use a cheese grater for tomatoes.

You’ll burn in hell for this.

Oh my god, my friend who used to rent a room from me would routinely use a small ass paring knife to chop entire very large onions instead of a chef’s or santoku despite the fact that my kitchen is well stocked with many varieties of knives. In fact, he’d use the same tiny paring knife to cut everything when he would cook; be it veggies, or meat, or whatever. He didn’t want to dirty too many knives…? It drove me fucking nuts because he almost cut himself quite a few times trying to chop things that were too large for such a small blade. Nothing I said would change his mind. Graaahhhhh….

i just bring a fucking machete to the kitchen. none of this fancy cutlery stuff. i shall engage my food in ruthless combat

i need you to roll for initiative 

ah fuck i rolled a 1

the celery gets to go first and just fuckin decks you