theodora monica floros.

“ have you ever been ? i don’t think so, you don’t know anything about fulham, sweetheart. ” he scrunched his nose eyes, eyes following suit. a deep inhale was followed by his hands going up beside his head as an attempt surrender to her and her staple gun. she could be terrifying if she truly tried. a nod of his head prefaced his words and he rubbed his eyes, “ but what if i don’t want to ? a man who looks this good needs his extra hours of beautiful sleep, thea. ”

“ i’ve obviously been to fulham ... to watch the football. ” she challenged him, although the purpose of her trip to the SW6 didn’t seem to strengthen her case. if anything, the thought of her and her family in football scarves and little wooly hats, watching the game with pretzels and tea in styrofoam cups made it worse. “ i’m doing this for your beauty sleep, alex. this animal has no regard for us or our sleeping patterns. if you want to support that, then be my guest. but it’s an injustice. ”

fully immersed in the text message exchange he was having on his phone, ryan barely noticed whoever was standing nearby as he made his way across the lobby. jumping slightly at the sudden burst of her voice, he looked around and finally located her, still feeling a bit startled. curiosity taking over, he slowly walked over to her and glanced at the poster, quickly reading it. “… remind me to never piss you off, alright?”

“ lovely, lovely ryan. you could never piss me off. ” she replied, with a smile that seemed a million miles away from the frustration that was in her voice just a few moments previous. “ and that is not an invitation to try. ” she clarified, as she abandoned her stapler on a nearby surface, “ where are you off to? or are you coming back from somewhere ? ”

bed head and awfully loose sweatpants that hung around his hips, he ran his fingers through the dark brown locks that decided to fall beck over one of his eyes. “what if––” he pauses, a big yawn that shakes his torso ripples through him before he continues, “what if it was me, hm ? would you kill me to death ?” a sleepy grin covers his lips, reading the sign with squinted eyes, trying to focus. “besides, what people do you know ?”

“ it’s obviously not you. they don’t have grime in fulham. ” she teased. if there was anyone that had witnessed her crazy bitch tendencies first hand, it was alexander, so she had no shame in going wild with a staple gun in front of him. “ people. scary people. so listen to me. ” her words were lacklustre. they both knew the scariest person thea knew was the doorman. “ now, wake up and tell me if that poster looks straight or not? ”

With two bags of groceries in each hand, Audrea made her way across the spacious lobby. Everyone seemed to keep to themselves, and so did Audrea. But then she noticed the woman hanging up the poster on the wall; it prompted her to walk closer to read it and she couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Are you even allowed to hang up signs like that?” She asked. Audrea didn’t seem to have any problems like that in her apartment—-which only meant that they definitely live on different floors. “I think you should just sue them for noise disturbance; saves you the trouble and you’ll earn money to compensate.”

“ of course. probably. ” thea shrugged. honestly, she hadn’t thought about the legality of hanging up a sign in the middle of the lobby. and it probably didn’t help that she’d signed her name at the bottom of it. but at least she’d go down for a good cause. “ i would sue, only if i knew who it was that’s making all the noise. can you hear it too? ... of course not. you look far too well-rested. picking a ground floor apartment was a mistake and a half.”

her eyes watched as the blonde stapled the poster on the wall then read it. “hm, i dunno what you’re talking about, or what you’re talking about for that matter. i am glad that it isn’t keeping me up at night, though.” a laugh escaped her lips. “well, they better really watch out then.”

both eyebrows perk up simultaneously as thea began to speak before chocolate hues look over the poster she was hanging up, reading over what’d been written down. a light, and barely audible chuckle falls from her lips, as the blonde continued. “not that i think i ever will, but remind me to make sure i never do anything to disturb you in the middle of the night.” a small joke. “i guess some just don’t understand common decency, i mean i like my music loud sometimes but taking close neighbors into consideration i’ll just put my headphones on. do you think this’ll help or just make them do it even more?” 

“ i love you, jaslene, but this isn’t funny. ” thea responded, deadly serious. if thea didn’t know and love jaslene, she probably would have bit someone’s head off for laughing right now. it was the second night in a row thea hadn’t slept properly and she was at the end of her (admittedly very short) tether. even in day to day life, she barely held it together, so any added stress always went down like a lead balloon with her. “ well, it better help. only an animal would ignore a laminated sign. i used perfectly good plastic for this. the earth suffered for this fight. ” she sighed, “ why can’t everyone be as considerate as you, jaslene? ”

“I think it might be one of my neighbors.” Sam shrugged, the Polish man was used to hearing the blaring music by this point especially since it meant he was on the right floor in his sleepy state from work. He also wasn’t really one to be known to be home until almost three or four in the morning, due to working the long and odd hours as a nurse and normally by the time four rolled around the whole building was silent. “You know people for hire to kill someone else? Are they nurses? I’m sure they’ll be able to hide the fact that it wasn’t an accident.” His accented voice, held a hint of amusement at the blonde’s words while a lazy smile was thrown at her.

“ well you can tell them from me, i’m not happy. ” thea replied, as if the posters weren’t already an indication of her feelings on the matter. a lot of things stressed thea out, but one thing in particular was her sleep pattern. if she didn’t get a solid eight hours, she turned into medusa. for a relatively sweet-natured person, it really didn’t take much to push her over the edge. “ well, i don’t know people. but i’m pretty sure i could find them. it can’t be hard to find hit men in st abery, right?” she shrugged, “ wait. you’re not a police officer, are you ? ”

                                 the heavy sound of boots falling against marbled floors can be heard before they’re seen, black soles of scuffed dr martens a crushing juxtaposition against the smoothing white. and she smells like whiskey & is dressed like the devil – another shift over and persephone has no other desire than to isolate themselves from beating heats, lungs desperate for addictive tendencies & darkened hues in need of closure. it would be too unlikely for her to succeed in her wishes without hurdle, an anti-hero with obstacles to overcome, particularly in the form of a beach blonde femme armed with a staple gun. ‘ i’ll make it easier for you – it’s me. do what you want with that information. can you pass on to your ‘people’ that my preference would be a shooting in the head ?? i’d rather just get it over & done with. torture’s not really my style. ’

of course, thea is nosy. always has been, probably always will be. she’s always the one poking her nose where it doesn’t belong and taking it upon herself to fix things. however, leaving passive aggressive posters on the wall and spouting empty threats was one thing, but being faced with the wicked culprit in the flesh was another. the girl’s face dropped when the stranger confessed their guilt. “ well, you’re disturbing the entire building. ” she scolded the girl, in a tone of voice that women usually only perfected once they became mothers to naughty children. whereas thea had it down since birth. “ it’s rude. and, if his twitter has taught me anything, stormzy is nothing if not polite. ” she smiled her best smile and nodded, “ i’d appreciate it if you listened to your music at a more appropriate time, neighbour. ”

     “ SHIT, you can hear that too ? I swear whoever’s doing this has a speaker on every floor to torment all of us. Pretty sure I’ve heard ‘Not That Deep’ enough times to sing it by heart in my sleep. “ Lillie chuckles when the other finishes stapling the laminated poster to the wall, giving a small nod of her head as she reads it over. “ Hopefully this gets the message across, or else I might go stab myself in the eye with my paintbrush if I hear WickedSkengMan one more time. “

     " OKAY, don’t ever order from Pizzaville. Those bastards hung up on me while I was trying to order a fucking pizza. Do you know how angry I got ? I called back immediately and I was just livid. The guy didn’t even let me finish my sentence on the phone before hanging up on me ! Anyways, fuck the pizza place. How’re you doing this fine day ? “

Asking for a friend…exactly how many Fudge Stripes would one have to eat before experiencing life threatening complications? Because a friend of mine is currently on her second package and it’s only been about fourteen hours. I’ve come to realize that this friend has no self-control. Also, I am the friend. And this is a cry for help. Help.

“would you like me to drive you to the hospital?” thea responded, semi-seriously. in all honesty, she wasn’t entirely sure what a fudge stripe was. was it food? or was that some trendy, new word for drugs that she didn’t know about because she spends all her time with children and middle aged women? “or... uh, rehab?” she asked, still unsure on the appropriate reaction.