Full of Bad Decisions

“Noo, I’ve hurt those things attached to you. Not you. There’s a difference.” He said, raised eyebrows much like Tori was giving to him. “Alright, big word, druggies probably right but shit, imagine if it was someone you despised. Not me, that’s boring. Someone you really did hate…imagine what you’d be feeling then. Once the veil’s lifted. Would you pretend to be sad? ‘Show remorse’ or would you have the best fucking day of your life…weird. Isn’t it?” 

“Oh, really? Why don’t you explain that one to me, because I’m pretty sure you’ve hurt both.” She told him, arms crossed over her chest. “Well as much as I wished it was you, the only other people I despise don’t live anywhere near Lanford so it would be ridiculous for them to show up dead in the lake. So it doesn’t even matter how I would react.”

“I will. I promise. It’s just been a doozy being back and doing so many things at once. Getting a new band together, work, all of it. But I’ll pencil you in for some time in my diary, I promise.” Conveniently, he didn’t mention his line of work, but was ready with a convincing lie. Or so he hoped. “You’re right. It’s everywhere, that kinda scene. And in some ways, it’s more fun here. I was just being a typical Brooklyn hipster. I mean, I miss all the music options. On any given night having 20 bands playing in the city you could pick from. That whole scene. But whatever. I’ll get this band on the road and I won’t even have to think about that. Shit, I miss touring. More than city life. Way more.”

“You know you never said what you were doing since you got back, besides the band and shit.” Tori told him, looking at her friend. “--You better make time for me or else I’ll drag out of Dan’s place myself. Jenny and I were thinking about all of us and Jake going out at some point, maybe when it’s not as hot as satan’s dick.” Tori said with a shrug. “I’ve never been touring so I can’t say what I feel about it, but you know we live like less than an hour from Brooklyn, you can still go see twenty different bands. Go bar hopping or some shit. Won’t be exactly the same as living there but the scene is still the same.”

“Not fair. I spent most of my life fighting for your safety and now I’m being judged for not playing pool.” He teased her. “I am indeed. How about drinks?”

“You’re not in a uniform, so soldier or not you’re getting judged. Especially if you’re that bad.” Tori joked, shrugging. “Drinks sound good. You buying or am I paying for myself?”

“Not yours though. Do I? Because here you are. So really, you have a fascination too, just say it. In your gut. Who’s body is sitting on the slab right now. Go. Say it.” 

“Yeah you do..” Tori said, looking at Malcolm with her eyebrows raised. “I have a fascination? I’m curious yeah but not a fascination. I don’t fucking know who it is. Maybe some druggie who overdosed.”

“You work out at home? Really? I wouldn’t have taken you for that type,” He took another bite, contemplating this. “Now I’m tempted to just slide up my yoga mat next to yours and do lazy home workouts together. But knowing me and you it would end in a TV and junk food binge so what’s the point.” He laughed some more, already devoured half of his burrito. The real, authentic stuff he had tried down South had been good, but there was something to be said about ‘home cooking’ (since Lanford was home). “I’m glad too. I think it took me like, a fucking year to get over the whole not being in Brooklyn anymore think. Like, I was in deep, deep denial. But I think what I missed most about it was the situation? And if worst comes to worst it’s not like there’s a shortage of drugs or weirdos or musicians around here either.” He was joking mostly, though in some ways not. 

“Oh yeah, all the time.” She said, lying expertly about it. Her exercising was already just wandering from the couch to her fridge and back. So him coming over would be no different than normal. “Hey, you’re always welcome to come over for that. I’ve missed the binging. It’s no fucking fun doing it alone.” Tori shrugged, taking another few bites of food. She missed this, going out with friends, having people she cared about around. “I feel you. I hated it here for a while, I missed being free in the city but I think moving here helped chill me out. There’s no shortage of that anywhere you live, I think you could find them anywhere you go Jude.”

He looked up at her, unsure of her age. “Are you even legally allowed to smoke?”

“Are you fucking-- I’m twenty nine, burnout.” Tori said, sitting back and rolling her eyes. Did she honestly look that young? She probably should’ve taken it as a compliment, but it kind of pissed her off more than she thought it would.

“I don’t know, Walker. Wanna find out? Come on, no one will give a shit in the end. They don’t right this very moment, clearly…so it’s gotta be someone lower than worthless, a leech of society, lower…the worms in an infected infants runny shit. Oh I know who…nah, nevermind. I don’t want to hurt any feelings.” 

“I think I already have a good enough idea. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people who care. Especially since most people in this town have a soul, which I’m sure you’ve lost years ago. I think you hurt people’s feelings by just walking down the street Malcolm.”

“Lazy, so lazy,” Jude shook his head in admonishment, as if he wasn’t exactly the same. “Yeah, can’t forget them, though I fully expect them to swing back round here at some point, they always do.” His musings were given over to quiet for a moment, tucking into his burrito with a surprising kind of hunger. He grabbed a napkin, dabbing at his lips, chewing and swallowing before he could get his next words in. “Yeah. Definitely missed this place. Road tripping is all fun and good, but Dorothy is right.”

“Not lazy, I just prefer to work out in the privacy of my own home.” She told him with a laugh. “They won’t stay away for long. It’s like dogs, or wolves, they always find their way back home.” Tori said with a small smile. She ate more as Jude fell silent, happily chewing away at her burrito, having not been to the restaurant in weeks. It was still her favorite in Lanford, but it felt weird going there without someone from their group. “It missed you too. We were probably their best customers. I’m glad you listened to Dorthy.”

“That is what I keep telling myself. Better than a drunk tattoo. Like, I wouldn’t be able to recover from that, but thankfully drunk me is a complete idiot. Just like, seventy-five percent.” Riley laughed, “I don’t know if I am ready to give up being a badass just yet.” 

“That’s something to be thankful about. You at least have some brains while drunk. I’ve gotten my fair share of drunk piercings or tattoos.” She laughed as well, shrugging. “Well you could always just go to that place they do the piercings in the mall and have them clean it or something.”

“Bobbing for bodies….HA, about time someone got offed in this town besides the old people. Bets, bets, now that’s what we need. A pool, you guess it right— maybe it’s that fat lady that works at Munchers, she’d float nicely. Oh! Could be old Mayor James finally getting the balls to off himself…who do you think it is?” 

“Jesus fucking-- Do you have no sympathy for what just happened? It hasn’t even been a week and you’re already trying to make money off of this? How fucked up are you, honestly?”

Spencer sat outside the shop he worked at, cigarette between his fingers. Since getting back from the festival, he had been feeling pretty shit. He had slept around more than he had in his entire life and he felt dirty. He felt like a cheat. He was new in town, and now everyone would think of him as merely a whore.

“You want my pack of smokes? I’ve just decided I think I’m going to quit,” he spoke to the person closest to him.

Tori looked over at the guy sitting on the stood, raising her eyebrows at him when he offered his pack. “Really? You’re giving up a whole pack? I mean sure I’ll take it, but seems a bit nuts to me.”

“It’s been a while since I played pool.” He chuckled for a moment before hitting the white ball but managed to get no other balls into the pocket. “Well damn. Don’t judge me, there is a learning curve to this.” Neal tapped the pole against the edge. “Want to play a round? You’ll probably win.”

“Oh I’m judging you Neal.” Tori said with a laugh, leaning against her own stick as she looked at what he was doing. “You’re pretty bad at this. I’ll play you, but you gotta put some money down on it. Make it a little more fun.”

“I hope so. It made me relaxed. I tried boxing and well broke my hand doing so.” He mumbled and looked away for a moment. “They weren’t all bad. When you, Ellie and I could get away it was fun. We managed to have some fun”

“Good, you need to paint. You have since we were teenagers. Ah so that’s how it happened?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at her brother. “Did you just call him Ellie? Haven’t heard that in a while.” Tori laughed, but shook her head. “Still, name me two vacations where it wasn’t a complete disaster.”

“Me too.” She agreed, “Makes me look hella punk rock. But like, I woke up and it was just there. I don’t know how to take care of it, how to clean or like anything. And everything I am doing is clearly wrong, because I don’t think it should hurt this much. Or at all.” 

“Definitely does. Drunk piercings aren’t always a success, but it’s better than a drunk tattoo.” She said with a shrug. “I think you can like buy antibacterial shit for it. But hey, if it hurts too much just take it out, it’ll close up and heal eventually.”