FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS, WORDING, ETC. TO SUIT YOUR NEEDS

❛ the worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t. ❜

❛ I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realise, it’s a comedy. ❜

❛ you don’t listen, do you? ❜

❛ how’s you job? ❜

❛ are you having any negative thoughts? ❜

❛ all I have are negative thoughts. ❜

❛ for my whole life, I didn’t know if I even really existed. ❜

❛ is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there? ❜

❛ how ‘bout another joke? ❜

❛ no, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes. ❜

❛ I’ll tell you what you get! you get what you fuckin’ deserve! ❜

❛ my mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. ❜

❛ she told me I had a purpose: to bring laughter and joy to the world. ❜

❛ I’m waiting for the punchline. ❜

❛ there is no punchline. ❜

❛ is something funny? ❜

❛ I just thought of a funny joke! ❜

❛ nobody’s civil anymore. ❜

❛ comedy is subjective, isn’t that what they say? ❜

❛ they don’t give a shit about people like you. and they don’t give a shit about people like me either. ❜

❛ everybody’s telling me my stand-ups, are ready for the big clubs. ❜

❛ I killed those guys because they were awful. ❜

❛ everybody is awful these days. ❜

❛ it’s enough to make anyone crazy. ❜

❛ I had a bad day. ❜

❛ were you following me today? ❜

❛ ugh, why is everybody so upset about these guys? ❜

❛ if it was me dying on the sidewalk you’d walk right over me! ❜

❛ I pass you everyday and you don’t notice me! ❜

❛ do I look like the kind of clown that can start a movement? ❜

❛ you know I do stand-up comedy, you should come see a show sometime. ❜

❛ I could do that. ❜

❛ all that sacrifice, she must love you very much. ❜

❛ touch my son again and I’ll fucking kill you! ❜

❛ is this a joke to you? ❜

❛ I feel like I know you… I’ve been watching you forever. ❜

❛ would you please stop bothering my kid? ❜

❛ the whole city’s on fire ‘cause of you. ❜

Please don't reblog things that don't involve you: such as headcanons, out of character posts, ROLEPLAYS.

Please do send questions for Arthur! Please send drabble request! I can do reader inserts or anything like that! I love writing for other people.

                                 I used to think that my life was a tragedy.                                                But now I realize,

                                                   it’s a comedy.

some slightly nsfw !! 

“ I’m turning the lights out now. “ 

“ They’re coming. Get ready. “ 

“ Making out in a graveyard is definitely morally wrong. “ 

“ If I hear the words ‘killer clown’ once more I’m ditching you. “ 

“ You need a damn costume. “ 

“ This is my costume ! “ 

“ Let’s just lie here and read creepy pasta’s for the rest of the night. “ 

“ Spooky spaghetti ? “

“ You look… hot. “ 

“ That’s the shittest pumpkin I’ve ever seen. “

“ HOLY FUCK. “ 

“ You deserved that, asshole. “

“ Wanna go in first ? “ 

“ I knew you’d end up holding my hand. “  

“ Let’s swap. I don’t like these. “ 

“ I don’t wanna go ! “ 

“ You’re fucking with me. “ 

“ I didn’t invite you for a reason. “ 

“ You look pretty when I can’t see your face. “

“ I can’t believe you stole that old lady’s pumpkin. “ 

“ That’s fucking adorable. “ 

“ Put the cat down, it’s not yo- “

“ JESUS FUCK IT BIT ME. “ 

“ I haven’t even turned the lights out yet. “

“ I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts. “ 

“ You’re one sexy, sexy zombie. “ 

“ Did you see that ? What the fuck. “ 

“ Come here. “ 

“ You hear that ?  “ 

“ That was not my dog. “ 

“ Did you leave the door open ? “

“ I’ve never been a fan of the ghost train. “ 

“ Your tights are ripped, loser. “ 

“ If they look at you one more fucking time… “ 

“ I don’t like these woods. “ 

Sophie: I could do that

Arthur: :))))

me: