YESSIR

“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do! I’m half crazy over my love for you!”

The voice that was singing to her was sweet. Beautiful, smooth, and unfairly lovely. It was also much too early for it. She nuzzled into her pillow and tried to bring the blanket up over her face to hide, but it was tugged down in cadence to the last few words. She sighed.

“That’s not even how it goes,” she grumbled, not opening her eyes. Somehow, she could still feel his grin.

“I figured you’d say that. I’ll let you correct me - again - if you get up!” he sang.

She heaved another sigh and forced her eyes open. The light of the morning was bright through the window, now that someone had opened her curtains. She blinked her light green eyes against the pain and frowned up at her best friend, Chris. He was a sight; bare-faced with a shit-eating grin, a beanie pulled over his hair that was fluffy enough to still stick out haphazardly, and wearing a hoodie. In his hands were two coffee cups. She sighed again and sat up, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m half crazy all for the love of you,” she muttered.

“There’s my girl,” he said, nudging her with his elbow, “now get up so we can go study since you promised me you’d help. And you need my help, too.”

“I know,” she groaned, letting her head tip back.

She allowed herself to wallow just a minute longer then slid out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. Once her teeth were brushed and face washed, she felt a bit better. She straightened the kinks from her velvet scrunchy out of her long blonde hair and gathered her outfit for the day. Chris was lounging on her bed, humming the song as he sipped his coffee. Dressed and mostly alive, she walked to him and took the proffered cup. She gave it a suspicious sniff.

“Don’t worry, it’s so full of sugar and syrup you can’t taste the coffee. It’s still gross but at least in a different way,” he said, taking another sip of his own and pulling a ‘not bad’ face, “you get used to it.”

“Wouldn’t have to if we could sleep in,” Daisy said pointedly, widening her eyes at him over the rim. It’s chocolatey and that’s about as good as it’ll get. Truth is, she was getting used to it. She never drank coffee before but, now in her last years of college, she found she needed the stamina. At least Chris was in the same boat.

“Well we gotta study now so we can party later! And be able to go to the tailgate tomorrow,” he pointed out, literally jumping up out of her bed.

She tugged the covers up and arranged her pillows so her bed was made and then followed him out of her apartment. She glanced at the second room - empty. She really needed to find another roommate ASAP. Working at the alumni call center wasn’t exactly paying her enough to keep it on her own, even using some of her semesterly refund to pad it. Too bad Chris already lived with someone else. Though the chaos at their apartment was not exactly something that she necessarily wanted to live with every day. After her string of rough roommates, she was nervous but she had no choice but to strike out and take a chance on another stranger.

By the time they pushed through the library doors, they were laughing and their cups were empty. Into the bin they went as the friends were shushed by the student working the check in desk.

“Sorry,” they both whispered, giving each other looks that say ‘oops’ and trying to keep it together.

Though they managed to make it into the library, past a few stacks and to the main area of tables in the middle, the sight of something - someone - stopped Daisy dead in her tracks. Chris ran into the back of her, hands coming up to rest on her upper arms to steady them both.

“Wha-oh,” he said. His hands tightened as he saw him too. “Come on, let’s go to the music hall first, yeah?” he suggested and gently turned her, steering her away and shielding her with his body from behind now.

“Ok,” she agreed quietly, fighting the urge to glance back to see if he saw her too. She hoped he did. She hoped he didn’t.

They made it back out into the fresh air without incident (other than another dirty look from the student librarian, which she missed but Chris returned full force) and he slipped his hand into hers, giving it a squeeze.

“You ok?” he asked, looking down at her from where he walked by her side.

“Yeah,” she nodded, eyes cast down onto the pavement. The sun shone against it; the day was warming up already. She chewed on her bottom lip and tried to control her racing thoughts.

“It’s ok, Daisy,” Chris said in that calming voice of his, leaning his shoulder against hers as they walked slowly up the sidewalk, “You don’t have to pretend it’s ok because it’s not. I know it’s complicated.”

“It shouldn’t be,” she frowned, feeling the familiar twist of shame, anger, and sorrow in her gut.

“Most human things are,” he disagreed lightly.

She grunted noncommittally and then looked up at him.

“Thank you,” she says earnestly, “for always being there.”

His answering smile was soft and loving, edged with the pain of knowing someone you love is hurting. Her eyes scanned away from his face to the long grass of the bushes by the greenhouse across the little field between the music school and the biology building, going unfocused as she recalled the true start of their friendship.

It was last year, at a party. They’d partnered up in a class that neither had had friends in and quickly developed a friendship in the classroom. It turned into more frequent study dates, which in turn became hang outs that had very little studying. He’d met her friends, she’d met his. It had been a year at that time since her official break up with Josh, but she’d been far from recovered. Chris and his roommates, Jeongin and Changbin, had invited her to a “rager at their place” and she was not one to pass up a party. True to fashion, she got excited like a puppy at the prospect of new friends that felt like they would be good friends; which led to drinking much faster than she should. After destroying Lee Know and Han in beer pong a second time with her partner, Hyunjin, she’d gone back to the kitchen to get another drink. Swaying on her feet a bit, she giggled as she poured until a strong, pale hand came out of nowhere to snag her cup.

“Let’s have some water, yeah?” Chris said. His own eyes were clear enough and she almost pouted but she was too distracted by his accent.

“Wotah,” she echoed, puffing up her chest in an impression of him that made him burst into laughter.

“That what I sound like? Is that what I look like?”” he asks in horror, free hand going to his muscular chest.

“Yeah, mate,” she replied in her terrible accent, deflating and leaning against the counter. “This is fun; thanks for inviting me.”

“Anytime,” he smiled as he handed her a fresh cup full of water.

“Bleh water’s for pussies,” she frowned into the cup, making him laugh again.

“Water is for pussies,” he agreed, enunciating the word carefully, “but wotah is for baddies who will be much happier later if they drink it.”

“‘S Hyunjin’s fault,” she said, but the cup was lifted to her lips.

“Oh I’m aware,” he chuckled.

“Oim awah,” she muttered into her cup. He only fixed her with what she had come to dub as his “dad look.” She held up a hand in surrender and downed the rest of the water, putting the cup back on the counter with a sigh. She leaned against the counter, not caring about whatever sticky substances covered it at the moment, observing the party through the doorway. Her lips tugged up in a wistful little smile.

“Wanna take a little break?” he asked, gesturing to the sliding glass door that opened to the patio and back yard area.

She nodded, following him out into the air. The nights were getting colder faster than the days; it was that time of year between fall and winter where no matter what you wear, you are uncomfortable. Right now, she could faintly see their breath but it felt refreshing on her heated skin. She shook her head when he offered her his jacket then her smile wobbled as he placed it around her shoulders anyway. They walked long enough to no longer hear the party, to the small playground a few units down (the apartments held an odd mix of families and students) and plopped onto the 2 swings. She curled her fingers around the cold metal and leaned her head against one side, looking up at the stars. The night was chillier for being clear, but it offered a lovely sight.

“I’m happy to see them,” Chris said quietly, “the stars.” She looked over to see his profile, his face tilted up to the sky, expression soft. They were only friends but she could admit that he was incredibly handsome. All of his friends were, too. Unfairly so. “In Australia, you could see so many of them in the right place. There’s a lot of wilderness there; lots of places with no light pollution.”

“That sounds really nice,” she said, lifting her gaze back up to the cold pinpricks of light against the darkness, “I love stars. And the moon. There’s something so… poignant about it, you know?” She lifted a hand up and studied it in the light of the moon, thinking some disjointed thoughts about how she was as white as the moon.

“Man you and Hyunjin are going to really get along,” he chuckled, “but yes. I know what you mean.”

They were quiet for a long while, the alcohol buzzing through her veins making her both vulnerable and brave. The human urge to be known, understood, bubbling up inside of her.

“You treat me really nicely,” she said to Chris, though her eyes stayed glued to her hand, in her lap now.

“I treat you how you deserve to be treated,” he replied, a bit of surprise in his voice.

“Not everyone has always done that,” she admitted quietly, “And, to be honest, I’m not sure what I deserve.”

Chris had encouraged her train of thought; listened through the whole story about what Josh had done to her and how she was still struggling. By the end of it, he had wrapped her in a hug so warm and tight that had lasted a long time. And he’d promised to protect her, a fierceness in his voice that almost scared her. He’d made her feel safe. Then, when she assured him she was ok and just wanted to hang out with his friends more, he’d scooped her onto his back, giving her a piggyback ride all the way back into the apartment, where they’d been met with cheers.

“What are you smiling about?” Chris’s real voice pulled her out of her reverie. She blinked, surprised. She hadn’t even known she was.

“Just thinking about that party,” she said, smile growing as she remembered the ridiculous debauchery they’d all gotten into for the rest of that night. He smiled too; he knew exactly what night she was referring to.

“Tonight will be even better,” he said confidently.

Sloane

Sloane had known her purpose for her entire life. From as far back as she can remember, even as a child; the rules and ideals were drilled into her. The expectations. The weight of her family name. Hawthorne. Not a scary name; really only intimidating because of their reputation. Her ancestors made the word what it was today generations ago. Old money. Sloane Hawthorne, soon to be Blackwood. Hawthorne and Blackwood. It sounded like a law firm. It likely would be, some day. They had their hands in so many industries and it didn’t seem like they would get less greedy as time went on. And merging with the Blackwood family was going to make them nearly all-powerful. It was an honor to be able to elevate her family like this, simply by existing. Her duty. She should be excited. Proud. Instead, she felt anger. Or a cold numbness. Given her upbringing, she’d had plenty of time to get used to the idea that she was a living, breathing bargaining chip. Yet she still sometimes railed against the idea. She couldn’t help it. The rest of her family had perfected the aloof air of superiority their brand idealized. She never quite fully kicked her fire out the door.

She stares at herself, now, gaze passive. There is her face. It looks the same as always. She is beautiful, of course. Bred to be. She had to be; someone whose only purpose in life is marriage didn’t have much of a choice. Her eyes are large and a bright blue that often startled people when they first saw her, her nose straight and dainty, her lips full and pouty. There is her hair. She can’t help her smirk as she takes that in. One of the things she was known for was her tresses of liquid gold. She did have to admit that her natural hair color was lovely; she was blessed. But why should he be? In a fit of last minute rebellion, she’d dyed her trademark hair. It was the only possible thing she had any control over at this point. It was meant to be a mousy, boring brown, but she’d never dyed it before and the lighter strands sucked up the darkness so intensely that the brown was nearly black. She likes it all the more that way. Really, it looks rather good. It makes her eyes pop even more. Her father would be furious, but there was nothing he could do at this stage. Not on the day of her wedding. She wouldn’t belong to him anymore by this time tomorrow. No, she would belong to Bang Chan Blackwood. Her lip curls in the mirror as she thinks his name. Arrogant prick. She has one chance to stand up to him; to make it so that she wouldn’t continue to be bulldozed for the rest of her life. She is only 29, so she has a lot left, and she refuses to spend it like a doll that waited around to get chosen to play with and put back on the shelf, useless, at all other times.

She pats her fingertip along her lashline, fixing her already perfect makeup, then her eyes drift down to take in her dress. In another world, this could have been her dream dress. Though, she doubts it. Even for the “princess” of a powerful, old-money family who could admit that she enjoyed the title and perks most of the time, this dress was too much. It was meant to make her look innocent and classic. That’s what she was told. But she knows what it really was meant for. She is to be a decoration. She looks like a cake. The skirt is so massive that she can’t sit down easily and it takes up a ton of room around her. The bodice is tight, pulling her waist in painfully and sculpting around her breasts to show them off but in the most demure way possible. The lace sleeves are tight and restricting. All she could do was stand there. She couldn’t dance, she couldn’t eat, she could hardly sit. And she certainly couldn’t run away. A cage. That’s what this dress was. The veil is just as dramatic and her shoes alone cost nearly an entire house payment for a regular household. A golden cage.

She drips with mostly understated diamonds and crystals, though one of the worst culprits rests on her left ring finger. She’d been given the ring exactly six months ago, when the deal between her father and Chan had been finalized. He hadn’t even bothered to give it to her himself; he’d sent his right-hand man to deliver it. Felix had been kind enough, she supposed. He was a bit of an enigma. Hard to read. But the huge ring felt like a ticking time bomb. And her countdown was over. Her mother comes into the room, then, and gasps when she sees Sloane. Perhaps it is in awe at first, but it quickly becomes offense when she sees her daughter’s hair.

“Sloane, you were raised better than that,” is what she says, in her stiff, uppity tone. She’d always had it, even when addressing her own children.

“I won’t be your problem anymore very soon, mother,” Sloane gives her a sweet smile in the mirror.

“Let’s just go, shall we? We can’t be late. You can fix that later.”

Several people came in to aid her in moving and getting the dress out of the door. It was humiliating. But, she holds her head high. She will seem as if nothing is getting to her, no matter the cost. If someone shot her on her way to the church, she would simply smile her angelic smile and marry Chan anyway. She goes impassive as she’s handled; loaded into the expensive car and taken to the slaughterhouse - excuse her - church. Arranged like a doll before the grand entrance doors, she waits. There is no bridal party. It is a very exclusive and well-vetted attendance. Many people, yes, but Sloane didn’t have friends. Not for a long time now. Her father strides into the hallway in his best tux, looking irritatingly strong and handsome. She got her light features from him, and not a small amount of her beauty. He saw her and smiled, holding out his hands. She takes them dutifully and he kissed her cheeks. That was when he saw her hair.

“What is this?” he asks, lifting the edge of the veil a little. His icy blue eyes turned even colder.

“I thought he would like it, daddy,” she replies innocently.

He looks at her with a stony face. She wasn’t fooling him. But the public image was everything. And she also got her ability to stonewall professionally from him. He simply turns toward the doors beside her and waits in silence. It is a bit disappointing. She feels impassive as the music starts, the doors opening. One step at a time, that was how she would get through this. Get married, move in with him, get her bearings and learn as much as possible. Figure out a way to always stay steps ahead of him. Carve a life out for herself of her own choosing as much as she could in her circumstance; carve it right out of the flesh and bone of this man who wanted to own her. He stands at the front of the church, hands folded in front of him, and looks as impassive as she feels as she walks up the aisle. He flashes a charming, disarming grin as her father steps away from her to shake his hand and Sloane has to fight against another lip curl.

He turned an intense gaze on her, his eyes perhaps giving a flash at the unexpected color of her hair under the veil, but it was too quick for her to analyze. The ceremony was long; much too long. She stands ramrod straight, the perfect picture of a bride all through it. She vows to cherish him, to honor him, to respect and obey him; all of that bullshit and more. He promises similar things but on the possessor not possessed side, and then it is time for them to seal the deal. The kiss is nothing more than a business handshake to her. She feels nothing. She continues her reign as the perfect bride all day and all night; through the reception, through the conversations and congratulations of hundreds of people, half of whom likely wanted nothing more than to see her empire crumble. But she knows exactly what to do, what to say. She was born for this.

Even now, she is exhausted as she finally is allowed to leave. Ferried in a separate car from her husband, she and her belongings arrive at his mansion perfectly on time. She had been able to change, to her relief, into another ridiculous dress, but at least this one is human-sized and she is able to move in it. Beneath it, she wears a silk and lace contraption, meant to look both lewd and innocent. She is, after all, a virgin. She had tried, once, to not be. To have some semblance of control over her life. But the things that her father had done to that poor boy had successfully ensured she would never try again. So, she faces her wedding night like millions of women who came before her. As something to endure. She goes to exit the vehicle and Chan’s bodyguard is there, opening the door before she can even touch the handle. He stands politely, professionally, beside the open door as she gets out, extending a hand that she ignores.

He directs the driver and handful of guards to take her trunks to her room. Her room. She catches that. She holds a sigh in; it feel too familiar. Being kept pure still, just under a different authority. This marriage would clearly be symbolic; in name only. She isn’t sure why she feels slight disappointment at that thought - her plan was always to keep her distance from him, but that plan had been satisfying only when it was her own idea. Now, the choice was taken from her once again. Another cage. Another home where she was tolerated, not wanted. She steels herself. They would just see about that, wouldn’t they? She wouldn’t give up that easily. So the cage is the same, the key holder and view are different but that was it. This only meant that she had an advantage. She already knew the weak spots of her entrapment; knew how to convince her captors that she was docile. Steps ahead.

The room is nothing short of fit for a queen, a fact that did not surprise or particularly impress her. She impassively wanders through it, looking around. If she is being honest, she wanted to get this over with and lose herself in the oblivion of sleep as soon as possible. She wanted an early start; wanted to start getting her bearings and gathering information. Resisting the urge to remove her own dress for efficiency or to fidget, she sits primly on the end of the big bed and waits.

♤♤♤

Chan

Despite the fact that he’d spent the day at his own wedding, it did not feel like his wedding night. He had business to attend to, as always; there was always something. When he checks his watch, an hour had gone by from the last time he had looked and he silently curses. Having a wife was now another responsibility of his and he was not one to neglect his duties. Punctual. Efficient. Preemptive. That is his way. But he has let his night get off track and he knows he can’t make her wait any longer. He delegates anything else to Felix, who simply nods and continues whatever it is he was doing on his computer, silent. He was a steady presence; Chan could always count on Felix and always knew what to expect. He has Hyunjin wait at one end of the hallway as he strides toward the rooms he’d had made up for her; her own little wing. It is the least he could do. She is his responsibility now; she is under his roof, that was all. But it is enough.

She is beautiful, alright. He hadn’t been expecting her to have black hair, but he liked it. That is about as far as his observations went so far. She was quiet and professional all day. It was fine with him. This is a political match, after all. He personally didn’t care that she be a virgin, and had tried to negotiate that, but her father would not budge. He was too proud, too old-fashioned. Chan would’ve preferred she not be, in fact. They had to perform this symbolic act of ownership; proof to themselves and everyone else that the marriage was real and solidified. But he didn’t enjoy hurting women. Really, he didn’t enjoy hurting anyone. He hurt lots of people, sure, but it wasn’t for pleasure. Often, it made him feel nothing at all. This, however, he finds distasteful. She had been forced into this marriage, into being “pure” for him. He doesn’t want to hurt her; doesn’t want to be another man who takes without her consent. But he isn’t on his way to make gentle love to his partner, and he can’t show mercy in a way that would weaken him; not even in front of his own wife.

He pauses outside her door, just for a second, then he knocks. She calls for him to come in and he does; closing the door behind him. She sits on the end of the bed, still perfectly done up. Her makeup and hair are flawless, her dress unwrinkled, her heels still on. His eyes travel over her, taking stock. Neither of them speak; a heavy silence filled the room. She stands, then, and looks at him with her chin high, no sign of fear on her face. But it is in her eyes. As is determination. She is stoic, calm, and he realizes that she wasn’t naive, just controlled. Used to being controlled. He was a part of that system now, whether he liked it or not. But what he did now would brand him on her memory forever. So, he will do what he does best in the world. Control. Over himself. Over the situation. The line between coldness and tenderness. Simple awareness. Clarity. Expectations. Business transaction or not, consummation meant leverage. And leverage was something he treated very carefully.

He doesn’t rush, just walks toward her, keeping a keen eye on her reactions to him. He stops in front of her and she looks up at him with those big blue eyes.

“I know what this is,” he finally speaks, “and I know what this isn’t. You don’t owe me comfort or closeness. This doesn’t change who you are to me. We do this once, because it’s required. Everything else is your choice.” He watches her face, pausing to let it sink in that he won’t let this become something she has to survive. “Tell me what you need. Or tell me to wait.”

Her face barely changes, her eyes only narrowing for the barest second, perhaps suspicious. He can’t blame her. But he does wait. He’ll stand there all night if he has to.

“I don’t know what I need,” she admits, but her voice is still calm and firm, “But I don’t want to drag this out. Do what you have to. I’m ready.”

He knows she isn’t, but she seals her permission by taking a small step forward, placing herself well within his reach. Her hands come up and she starts to loosen his tie. He allows her to remove it, then he shrugs off his jacket. His shoes come next, then his hands are steady and unhurried as he reaches for her. She turns for him and he pulls the zipper of her dress. She pulls it off her shoulders and steps out of it, laying it on the table beside his jacket. She is in lingerie he is willing to bet she did not pick out for herself - or for him - and though it helps his body have a physical response, his restraint never waivers.

“Would you like to be out of that? You can get comfortable,” he offers, gesturing to the bed.

She seems to debate for a moment, then nods. It looks great on her body, but it doesn’t look pleasant to wear. It also doesn’t look like something she can easily remove by herself, if it’s possible at all; another sign of her having no control over her own life; so he waits again. She offers her back to him once more and he works methodically on the hooks and ribbons. As her skin is revealed, he notices it is marred with deep red lines and grooves and shapes and realizes that it’s from the lingerie and corset of her wedding dress; both keeping her compact all day. He says nothing. Neither does she. She turns once the garment is off, and this she leaves on the ground. She is nude, now, and bravely facing him; no hint of shyness or pride in her expression, just the same calm acceptance she’d worn all day.

He does not look her body over like a regular husband might. Instead, he keeps track of her face as he undoes his own shirt. That and his pants are set neatly on top of his jacket, his underwear going with them. Her eyes drop very briefly, then pop right back up again. He sees the quick fear flash, though she expertly schools it away immediately.

“Lie down,” he says, “I won’t hurt you any more than is natural for your first time.”

She does as he says, not even getting under the covers. She lies on her back on top of them, head on the pillow and eyes on the ceiling. He reaches into the drawer of the nightstand and produces a bottle of lube that he’d put in here earlier; knowing it would be necessary. He waits again.

“Go ahead,” she speaks, glancing at him once more.

He crawls onto the bed with her and she parts her legs for him. He carefully smears some lube over her, just on the outside for now. Her breath hitches a little, but he gives no reaction. After a moment, he works some inside of her with one finger. Then two. She still doesn’t move. He spends as much time as he can with his fingers, getting a lot of lube up inside of her to make it easier. He is large and he knows it is going to hurt either way, but this will at least help. He strokes some onto himself for good measure, then places the bottle back on the nightstand and hovers over her. Her chest is moving a little faster now, but it is the only sign of fear he can discern. She really is tough. She nods again, looking at him, then looks back at the ceiling. He doesn’t mind.

He positions himself then slowly begins to press inside. From a purely physical standpoint, it feels amazing. It would help it be over faster, which was a boon. He watches her reaction, gauging her comfort level. She seems ok for the first push, then winces as he goes a little further.

“Breathe,” he instructs, voice calm and low, “It will help.”

She actually listens and he works himself inside as gently as possible. He can tell it is hurting her, but there was nothing else he could do; and she was still staying silent. But it wasn’t innocence; it was conditioning. He pauses once he’s in, awaiting permission. Or for her to tell him to stop. She takes another deep breath and nods once more. He takes her virginity like he did everything else. Controlled. Efficient. Careful. He lets his body respond to hers, always keeping an eye on her face, and manages to finish in record time. After, as he catches his breath and she lets out hers, he hesitates, then he lets his lips briefly touch her temple. A reflex, an apology, a thank you; all tangled together. She blinks and he gently pulls out then stands again, beginning to dress.

“Hyunjin will bring you anything you need. Just open the door a crack when you’re ready to tell him whatever that is. I’ll have him collect you in the morning as well for a tour.”

She stays still on the bed, nude and stiff, and nods. He nods too, and once his pants and shoes are secure and he has a few buttons done up on his shirt, he bids her goodnight and leaves her alone.

♤♤♤

Sloane

Sloane lies on the bed for an indeterminable amount of time, looking up at the now familiar ceiling. She’d expected to be afraid, to be in pain, that he would treat her body as something to be delivered and sex as something he was owed and not something to be entered into willingly on her part. Instead, she had experienced silence, not urgency; distance, not entitlement; control, but not over her. Truthfully, it was disorienting. But it could’ve been much, much worse. He didn’t care, but he also didn’t treat her like a mere object. He treated her like a duty, sure; not desirable. But it was a mercy. Not interest. Perhaps she would be safe for a while from the obligation. Because though it definitely was kind of the best case scenario for what it was, it still had hurt. It wasn’t intimate, but it wasn’t traumatic, either. She finds she is grateful but unmoored by these facts; for the first time in her life, nothing was taken from her without her consent. She doesn’t know what to do with that, so she files it away. It doesn’t matter. It was done now.

She finally gets up, wincing in full because she is alone now and doesn’t have to hide her pain. There is a little blood on her thighs, but not too much. It mixed with the lube and made an uncomfortable mess. She walks into the ensuite bathroom and finds a giant tub and shower with all sorts of knobs and handles and spouts. She stares at it for a long moment, then sighs. She pulls on the robe that hung from the back of the door and ties it tight around her waist. It is soft and fluffy, covering her amply. Then, she goes and cracks her door. Within seconds, Hyunjin is at her door.

“Mrs. Blackwood,” he greets, ready to do her bidding.

She can tell her face showed her distaste. “Please, call me Sloane,” she insists. He must know that it wasn’t her being kind or overly familiar, but trying to keep her own identity, because he doesn’t argue.

“Sloane,” he corrects, nodding once, then waits.

“Will you please show me how this bathroom works?” she asks, stepping aside and opening the door wider.

He steps in and waits for her to lead. There is zero chance he doesn’t know the exact layout of her quarters, but he is respectful. She stops at the bathroom door and gestures for him to go inside. He makes quick work of the knobs and such with his nimble hands, his long, narrow fingers adjusting things as he explains it to her. His voice is soft and gentle. When he is done, she allows him to keep the settings the way she asked, steaming water pouring into the tub.

“Would you please bring me some food?” she asks as he steps into her room again.

“What would you like?” he asks.

“What do you have?”

“Anything.”

“Human flesh? Medium rare?” she can’t help but fuck with him a little.

He snorts a surprised laugh, his face looking much younger for that second, then he forces his expression back into professional distance. “If that’s what you are craving, I am sure we could provide it.”

“That’s what I figured you’d say,” she sighs. “Just a grilled cheese and tomato soup please? And some chocolate, if you have it.”

“Absolutely. I’ll leave it on the table just here,” Hyunjin nods again, then he is gone.

She closes her bathroom door and sinks into the water, hissing as it burns her skin and hits her between her legs. The bubbles rise to her chest, almost to her shoulders, and she finally turns the faucet off. She lets the water soothe her and lies back, looking at this ceiling now, and tries to puzzle out exactly how she feels. She doesn’t trust Chan. But she isn’t afraid of him, not after tonight. When she feels sufficiently clean and relaxed, she rinses off, empties the tub, and pads back into her room to find a covered tray on the table. There is a little note by the sandwich, pointing at it, that reads Ham, not human flesh. Apologies for the oversight. She actually laughs out loud and picks up the sandwich to find slivers of pink meat and juicy tomato cooked in with the cheese. The soup is steaming and delicious, and there is an indulgent chocolate bar waiting for her when she is done. The meal soothes her soul and she readies for bed, climbing under the covers for the first time; and falls asleep much faster than anticipated.

♤♤♤

The next day blooms sunny and warm and Sloane feels an odd sense of…excitement? Tentative, but there. She is no longer under her parents’ control, no longer stuck under her father’s roof and rules. She has a taste of some sort of freedom, at least. Possibility, for the first time ever. She gets ready for the day and Hyunjin is once again ready for her in the hallway when she steps out. She greets him with a smile; he is the closest thing to an ally she has here for now. He stays beside her, walking at her pace. He would normally be behind or in front of her, but since he is showing her around, he can’t really do that at the moment. He actually asks her how she would like to go about the tour, something that stuns her enough she stops walking for a moment. She thinks, then decides she wants to come in from the road; start at the outside and work her way in.

He takes her in a vehicle down the very long drive to the outer ring of buildings. Each space is separated by trees; the whole place is in the forest. The outer ring is comprised of security offices, staff quarters, vehicle bays, meeting rooms, and the like. The next level in is the private living quarters, where Chan lives. Where she lives now, too. The space makes sense with what she knows about Chan so far. It is calm and quiet, with a lot of light wood and glass. The kitchen is large and understated; nearly everything is neutral in the place. The living room holds a long couch with a low table, a sleek screen dropping from the ceiling in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. There is a courtyard in the middle, one that Sloane immediately loves. It’s green and enclosed. Safe, private, with a long pool of crystal clear water, a few lily pads on the top and some carp swimming about inside. She notices as she’s taken around that the cameras are all hidden, the guards blend in very well to the surroundings, and all the doors lock quietly as they close. She is not shown Chan’s wing. Overall, it is lovely, but it isn’t a place meant to impress. It is a place meant to hold. They are not disturbed as they wander; hardly even greeted. She can tell it might very well be the safest place she’s ever been, but it might also be the loneliest.

She asks about the control room and Hyunjin seems amused but not surprised. He takes her back to the outer ring; the control room is underground and only accessible from the outer ring. It does not connect at all with the private quarters; at least that is what she is told, but she doubts it. There is one secure corridor to go in or out of, and she follows Hyunjin down into it. From the direction and length they walk, she thinks they are quite close to her own room by the time they reach the hub, but she can’t be sure yet. There are no windows to be seen, and everything must be soundproofed; because she hears nothing until she’s inside of the room itself. It’s still rather quiet, but there are soft, mechanical sounds. At a long desk atop which sit multiple monitors, showing feeds of the public areas like the gates, the drive, and the walls, sits Felix.

His gaze is knowing, watchful, alert on the monitors. The room itself is low-lit and hushed. No one else is here. His eyes flick up when they enter and he nods at them, then returns his attention to the feeds. She can tell he never misses a thing. His station is neat but clearly lived-in; just a few personal touches, but it’s more than the rest. There is a blanket draped over the back of his chair. One mug with a drawing of a sun on it is on the table next to a pair of fancy headphones. A comfortable looking couch rests against the wall behind him. This is actually quite interesting. She glances at him again to find him cataloguing her the way she’s cataloguing his desk. She wonders what he sees; this overly-observant man.

She looks subtly around for a secret passageway; she knows this has to be connected to the main house, but she doesn’t see one. In time, when she is trusted, she’ll be told, she’s sure. But she’s sick of waiting around to be told. What to do, what to wear, what to think. She wants to live. Hyunjin takes her back up the stairs then up the drive again.

“One last thing,” he says and takes her around the back; by her room. She hadn’t looked out of her window yet, but that had been a mistake.

For here is a garden sprawled out in front of her, and it is breathtaking. Carefully designed like everything else here, the garden is made of smooth stone pathways and hedges. There is a fountain in the center, then the path takes a turn past where she can see. The air smells like jasmine and there are flowers planted artfully but neatly along the hedgelines. There are lanterns along the path, unlit for now, but she finds she can’t wait to see it in the nighttime.

“Wow,” she breathes, already planning on exploring this and spending time in the courtyard very soon.

She walks extra slow as the tour comes to an end, nearly dragging her feet as they approach her room. She sees the corner of Hyunjin’s mouth twitch up infinitesimally. It’s his job to notice everything, but she is somehow surprised that he clocked her mood that fast. Usually no one cares or even notices. She slows more, fighting a smile, and he just slows with her, like he has all the time in the world.

“Don’t you have important things to do? Important people to see? Important places to be?” she asks as they both come to a stop. Her tone is light and joking, but she’s partially serious.

“More important than the lady of the house?” he gasps, also joking but maybe serious too, “What could ever be?”

“Well in that case, what shall we do next?” She asks, grinning. She actually feels excited at the prospect of having something even remotely close to a friend, even if he has to be there. But it doesn’t seem like he minds.

“There are some board games in the living room,” he suggests and she can’t help but laugh. “What?” he asks, tilting his head.

“Nothing, that sounds fun. Just…. this is unexpected. You are unexpected,” she admits “Everything and everyone here is really different than at the Hawthorne Estate.”

He studies her for a moment, “That seems like a good thing?”

“It is,” she says very quietly. She can’t believe this is pouring out of her so easily. So much for being mysterious. But it’s just one guy. One guy who will be around her always. She might as well have someone to lean on.

☀☀☀ 1.5 YEARS LATER

Felix

His stomach hurt a little from laughing so much. Chris had just finished his perfectly hilarious and heart-warming best-man speech and everyone was laughing and applauding. Daisy was wiping the corners of her eyes for the millionth time that night. She was trying so hard to not mess up her professional make up, and she was doing pretty well for how much she’d cried that day, but it was a little bit of a lost cause though she still looked gorgeous. He wasn’t much better himself with the crying. But he was happy. Blindingly so. They sat at the head table, surrounded by their best friends and families. They had even invited Alice and Stella, who had actually come. The head table was really several tables pushed together in a long line because both of them had so many close friends that their bridal party was huge. It had made for chaotic pictures, but they’d had fun with it. Planning this wedding with Daisy had been a treat, not a stressor. A privilege. Of course, things had gone wrong, but nothing major. And they’d agreed on nearly everything.

They’d had their ceremony in a gorgeous church and were now at the reception, in a castle-like building on the same grounds as the church. Seeing her step through the church doors in that dress for the first time was a feeling he could never have prepared for, and one he would never ever forget. She’d been so beautiful gliding down the aisle and he could hardly believe it was him that she was walking to. He was her destination. And she was his. Their vows had been disgustingly romantic, to no one’s surprise. Given the Korean tradition of women keeping their own surnames and the American tradition of women taking the husband’s surname, in addition - of course - to the fact that they wanted to be linked together in as many ways as humanly possible, they’d decided to do their own thing. They hyphenated their surnames, both changing. It felt so good to sign the papers; though they were legal documents, he couldn’t help but dot the i of his name with a little heart. She’d noticed, giggled, and done the same. They’d taken all their posed pictures and now it was finally time to eat. The drinks had been flowing for a while now from the open bar and everyone seemed to be having fun. Felix was glad. It made him happy to see his loved ones all in one place, all having a good time.

The dinner passed quickly, just like the rest of the day. He and Daisy had stayed on the dance floor with the boys well past when everyone else was gone; it was a good thing they’d had Changbin be their DJ/MC. Finally, when the sun started to come up again, they called it quits. He was tired in the best way but absolutely had to carry her over the threshold. He meant to undress her and remove her makeup so she could sleep, but when he saw what she was wearing underneath her dress and she saw how it affected him, they definitely did not sleep. In the end, they attended their breakfast the next day bleary-eyed and delirious, giggling at everything. When they finally got home, they took a ten hour nap.

☀☀☀

When they bought their house together, it had taken all day and the help of all of their friends to move their things in and get them just right. They celebrated with a good old-fashioned party, like old times. They were still young enough, they figured. It was after Felix’s own graduation now and he and Daisy both had real adult jobs. They spent their real adult money on very important things, like decor for their new and improved library/gaming room. They could’ve separated the two now but they didn’t want to. In fact, Daisy had her own monitors set up beside his and he had his own comfy reading chair next to hers. The shelves weren’t high enough to really need a ladder, but given the fact that he knew how much she wanted one, he installed one on wheels to surprise her with, just like in Beauty and the Beast. Ok, Changbin had installed it but Felix had helped! Her face when she saw it was priceless and they both took it for rides often.

Their kitchen was one of the most important parts of the house and a big reason they bought this one. It had a big pantry and island in the middle, perfect for baking or for preparing tequila shots. Their couch was big and comfy and could be made into one kind of bed-like structure, resulting in the continuation of the cuddle puddle with their friends. It didn’t happen nearly as often as it used to, given everyone’s hectic schedules and adult responsibilities; but Felix knew they would always have each other.

Once, after he had received a promotion at his job that he’d really worked for, he had come home to find Daisy on the island in the kitchen, wearing another new set of lingerie and waiting for him with her legs open. He hadn’t bothered to remove his suit or even take off his shoes before he put his mouth on her. Their sex life had not diminished at all. In fact, they had a secret stash of supplies in their closet now. They tried new things a lot, helping each other discover what they did and didn’t like. It was harder to find things they didn’t like.

☀☀☀

One day, Felix came home after a long day. Just one of those days where not a lot went the way he’d planned or wanted. His shoulders were drooping when he closed the door and slipped out of his shoes. He padded into the kitchen, the air smelling very nice, to see Daisy in her cute apron, finishing up what looked like a special-occasion dinner.

“Wow, sweetheart, what’s all this for?” he asked, admiring the table.

“For you,” she smiled, coming over to kiss him.

He melted into it, his body relaxing in her presence. It still basically turned into a purring kitten when she touched him; her love the best medicine for any ailment, physical or emotional. She let him vent about his day, though he didn’t like to dwell long on negatives, then they just enjoyed each other’s company for the rest of dinner. Usually, they’d have wine but they must have been out. That was alright with him; he didn’t need it. What he did need was a piece of whatever dessert she’d made and she obliged happily.

She set the plate in front of him and hovered, hands clasped in front of her. She always wanted his honest reaction and feedback on her bakes, but he definitely felt like this was different. He looked at her a little suspiciously, able to read her like a book. But she had actually managed to mostly school her face this time. She seemed to be fighting a smile and some fidgeting, but she was still easily excited about things, so he brushed it off. Until he actually looked at the plate.

“Hi, Daddy,” it read in chocolate sauce beside the brownie.

He froze and stared at it, trying to make sense of it. His heart stopped, then began to race as his hand came up to cover his mouth. When he looked up at her, she was grinning.

“Really?” he breathed, trying to not get his hopes up. But when she nodded, that went out the window.

He yelled and stood, picking her up and spinning her around.

“You’re kidding,” he said, showering her face with kisses, “Are you serious?” he could barely get a word in between his kisses but he couldn’t stop.

She could barely talk either, but laughed and managed a, “I’m serious.”

“Oh my God,” he said, setting his forehead against hers with his hand gently on the back of her neck to anchor himself, “I’m going to be a dad! You’re going to be a mom! You’re going to make such a good mom,” he said and then promptly started to cry.

☀☀☀

Felix felt as if he’d gone through the pregnancy with her, the way that his emotions had been all over the place. He wasn’t necessarily a worrier, but he had gone immediately and irrevocably into protector and nesting mode once she’d told him. He went to every doctor’s appointment, every class; went out at every hour to get her anything she wanted, gave her endless foot massages. When she got very big and round, he couldn’t stop touching her tummy. He’d cried again when he’d felt the first kick. It was truly a miracle. They still saw their friends a lot, a lot more than most people do when they grow up, and every single one of the boys was in the waiting room of the hospital when he’d come out after the birth, crying again but beaming so big. He’d taken them up to the nursery and all eight grown men had stood at the window and cooed at the babies, gushing over his daughter. She was so tiny, so real, it was so much for Felix to wrap his mind around. But he was so happy. He took his wife and his daughter home when it was time and they figured out how to parent together; something no books or classes could really have prepared them for. Lots of sleepless nights were had, but they’d weathered it together. Every single thing that their daughter did amazed them. They’d named her Hana, which meant “one” in Korean and “flower” in Japanese. It even meant “moon” in Albanian. It fit her perfectly.

☀☀☀

Felix’s legs just didn’t work like they used to. Nothing quite did. He was only thirty one, but it was harder than it should have been to crawl through the plastic tunnel after his daughters. They had two now, Hana and Clara, 6 and 4, and they were so fast. There was a group of them at the playplace, and Felix had originally been relieved to see Chris. The girls loved him and Felix thought he might get a little time to just rest and talk to his adult friends, maybe get some calm time to just put his arm around Daisy. Instead, his own daughters were insisting that he was a monster who had to chase them. Chris had tried to join in, but he had respected their “brick house” and Felix had not, which had turned them against him.

“Uncle Chris, you’re not a monster!” Hana cried as she flew by him. He had made a growly noise and grabby hands at her but when she clarified, he just shrugged and sat there calmly.

Clara zipped by too and then Felix pulled himself out of the slide (that Clara had very kindly told him he couldn’t go down “because he was too big”) and huffed as he jogged after them again. Chris laughed and Felix waved a dismissive hand at him, saving his breath. Up again he climbed. The girls went down the slide as he was catching up. He slid down slowly, on his back, questioning his existence as he emerged. The girls were in Chris’s lap and he was blocking them behind his arms, hiding his face behind his hand and loudly shushing them so the monster wouldn’t find them. Felix rallied and pretended to look for them. He picked up their blanket, looking underneath, then turned and gave a roar. They screamed and he scooped them up, kissing their little faces. Ok, they were cute enough to be worth the trouble but he really was out of breath.

They wiggled until he put them back down. “Ok daddy’s going to take a break, maybe Uncle Chris will chase you,” he said, patting Clara on the head and going over to the table Daisy and Carrie sat. Carrie held her and Hyunjin’s son on her lap. He was only one, so he couldn’t play with the bigger kids yet. Felix plopped down next to Daisy and leaned on her shoulder. He set his hand on her thigh. She didn’t pause in talking to Carrie but immediately picked up his hand and started to gently massage it. He sighed and closed his eyes, just for a minute. He wasn’t sleeping.

☀☀☀

This never got less incredible. Felix held his brand new son, the last child they would have - they’d agreed, and stared down at him in wonder. He’d hovered just as much as he had for Hana and for Clara, doting on Daisy the entire nine months. They were just more prepared now; knew what to expect to an extent. But he’d be damned if this wasn’t just as much of a miracle as the first time. A little part of him was sad that that was the last time he would get to go through that; to see Daisy pregnant. Something about her carrying his child was just deeply and primally pleasing to him. But he was grateful every day. He leaned over and passed the little bundle to Daisy and kissed her forehead, lingering with his lips. He still loved her so much that it hurt sometimes.

For a third time, the boys (they still all collectively called the friend group that, even when women were included) came to the hospital to meet him. Julian. Daisy and Felix had attended their share of births with the others as well. Not everyone had kids, but their different lifestyles never stopped them from being one solid unit. It was a blessing for Daisy and him and for their kids, who had built-in lifelong best friends to grow up with. Julian was a little behind; Clara was five and Hana was seven, but Lee Know and Han had just finalized the adoption of a pair of twins, so tiny and brand new that they held them like they’d break. Felix had to laugh at it, he knew the feeling plus it was adorable. They’d learn. They always had and always would, together.

☀☀☀

Years passed like days. Somehow, Felix found himself turning forty one. He had two teenage daughters and a son who had grown up way too fast. Hana would be getting her driver’s license this year. He couldn’t believe it. The girls were old enough to be responsible for Julian and Felix let Daisy sweep him away on a little birthday vacation. They didn’t go too far; not wanting to sit on a plane for as long as they used to, but managed to make it to Florida for some nice, warm weather.

“Does this mean we’re officially old?” he looked over at Daisy, who was next to him on the blanket, the sand hot underneath them. She looked up from her book.

“Vacationing in Florida?” He nodded and she laughed, closing her book on her bookmark and rolling over until she was close, holding the top half of her body above his. “I don’t know; but if it does, then I have to say you are a particularly sexy old man.”

“Ok yeah it’s too soon,” Felix laughed.

“For sexy?” she teased and he grinned.

“It’s never too soon for that.”

Life had left its marks on them. Age, experiences, stress. Childbirth. They stayed in as good of shape as they could, but it didn’t stop the clock. But Felix thought Daisy looked more beautiful than ever. Her eyes were still bright, her smile big and warm. They still giggled a lot, which embarrassed Hana; which, in turn, made them giggle even more. He always made sure to kiss Daisy’s stretch marks whenever they got the chance to have some alone time and she always kissed his scar from his back surgery he’d had a few years ago. He liked seeing her like this; it was like her body was a map of the life they’d lived together and it was his favorite story to read. He told her so and she smiled lovingly down at him.

“You’re so romantic,” she murmured.

“You make it so easy,” he replied, tangling a hand in her hair to pull her down for a kiss. He pulled back just enough to put his lips to her ear. “Looking very sexy today, Mrs. Holden-Lee,” he said, letting his voice drop. It still made her shiver and he grinned, feeling quite proud of himself.

“Well maybe you should take advantage of me, Mr. Holden-Lee,” she breathed, affecting him just as much.

When they got back to their hotel room, he pressed her against the window like he had when they were young, still just as proud and possessive of her as he was then. And, as he found out, still able to make her come multiple times in a row.

☀☀☀

Felix’s throat hurt from yelling. But it didn’t stop him from doing it some more. His family never stopped; all three of his kids were involved in multiple extracurriculars. Hana had inherited her parents’ ability and love for dance, so they’d had recitals her whole life and she was in musicals at her school. She also decided when she was very young that she wanted to beat her dad in medals for Taekwondo, and so far she was on track to do so. Clara had inherited their talent for singing and was in choir, vocal lessons, and theater as well. She was starting to learn to play the guitar and piano. Julian unfortunately got none of the singing and dancing talent, but he inherited their verve for life. He was a cheerleader and played soccer, was in the National Honor Society, and had started a little comedy club at school that held a show every year to raise money for charities.

They were currently at one of his soccer games (or football, as Felix rightly called it though after this many years in the states, soccer was winning out in his vocabulary) now, hence his sore throat. They had a good coach this year and it showed. Carrie stood beside him, yelling as well. Her son, Christopher (who was not necessarily named after Chris, but he never let it go), was on the team with Julian so they often carpooled and took each others’ kids to practices and whatnot. Daisy and Hyunjin were there, too, of course; but, true to form, they had wandered off with Clara and Lettie to look at the art student’s showcase pieces in the auditorium. At least they didn’t take naps anymore.

After the game, the two families went out to a celebratory dinner. Later that week, Felix had a presentation at work, Hana’s last recital, and a barbeque at Lee Know and Han’s. His back may hurt and his throat may be raw today, but his life was good.

☀☀☀

“I still can’t fully believe this is real,” Daisy chuckled, “Like, I so can but also I can’t.”

“I know, right?” Felix whispered back.

They stood at the back of a warehouse; one that had been remodeled and designed with antiques and vintage furniture. It was artsy, cozy, and romantic; just like the happy couple. When they were kids, Christopher had developed a crush on Clara. He had pined like only a child of Hyunjin’s could pine. And, in the end, he had won her over. They were old enough now that the four year age gap didn’t really make much of a difference; in their late twenties now (Felix just couldn’t wrap his head around that sometimes. He still felt like he and Daisy were in their late twenties). They were all gathered, waiting to be called forward for pictures. Felix had walked Clara down the aisle a mere hour ago and he had cried like a baby. He did his best to keep it in but he couldn’t. Clara had laughed fondly and given him a big, comforting hug. Daisy had held his hand the whole ceremony and she had cried, too. She always cried at weddings.

Pictures were taken, speeches were given, and though Felix was nearing sixty now, he still had enough talent to whirl Clara around the dance floor and not embarrass her or himself for the father-daughter dance.

“I love you, daddy,” she whispered as she hugged him after, holding him tightly.

“I love you, too,” he responded, tearing up again.

When she pulled back and let go of him with a soft smile, turning into the arms of her now-husband, it was a feeling that Felix couldn’t put into words. Daisy was there, then; knowing him better than anyone else ever had, as always. She took him into her arms and they swayed on the dance floor, holding each other close and taking comfort in it. Their babies weren’t babies anymore.

“I still see the three year old who picked up the ‘an avocado, thanks!’ quote for Christmas sometimes when I look at her,” Daisy mused, her voice thick with emotion.

“She’s always been so smart,” Felix smiled, “They all have.”

“Except that time Julian let Hana put that bungee cord up his nose and ended up in the hospital.”

“Well, to be fair, they were always going to be gullible. They’re our kids, they never stood a chance,” he pointed out and they laughed.

“They’re perfect,” Daisy mused after a while, her head on Felix’s shoulder, “Just like their father.”

“More like their mother,” he said, melting.

He held her even tighter and closed his eyes as her arms tightened around him in return. Her hair still smelled the same; she was nothing if not loyal to her shampoo. It brought back a flood of memories, like a little slideshow of his life with her. It was a good life before her, too, but only in the way that he didn’t yet know what he was missing. But he wouldn’t change a thing, because every decision he’d made had led him to her, continents away.

“I still love you so much I think I will pop,” Daisy said, pulling back to look up at him, “And you’re still the most handsome and beautiful man on the whole planet. It’s really unfair, you know.”

He smiled lovingly down at her, “The only unfair thing is how quickly you stole my heart when we met. And how you never gave it back.”

“I did promise to keep it when we got married, sunshine,” she says, brushing some hair off his face.

“It’s never felt safer than in your hands, sweetheart.”

He pulled her in for a kiss right there on the dance floor.

☀☀☀

“I still love the snow. Look at this flake!” Felix said, holding his mitten hand out to Daisy.

“You know I can’t see that,” she laughed, squinting.

“Well it wasn’t as beautiful as you, anyway,” he said. His voice creaked with age, as did his joints; especially when it was cold like it was now. But he was exactly where he wanted to be.

He cuddled closer to her under their thick blanket and laid his head on her shoulder. They had a loveseat from an outdoor furniture set with comfy cushions that they were sitting on and they were bundled up. They were behind a booth at the Christmas market. They didn’t have too much to sell; some paintings donated by Hyunjin that he’d done before his arthritis had gotten too bad and Clara, who still dallied with it sometimes, some ornaments Daisy had made with beads in memory of her mom, some of Felix’s famous brownies. They scraped up whatever they could; they just wanted an excuse to be there. They watched the people bustle by, talking to anyone and everyone who stopped by. Someone brought them hot chocolate and Daisy had given them a free ornament.

“You know,” she sighed, laying her head on his, “I thought this could be us one day when we were on the other side of that booth. But it felt so abstract. Now, here we are. Actual old people. Youths are bringing us hot chocolate.”

“And thank God for them, too,” Felix said, the tasty chocolate warmth still lingering in his mouth. Their sweet tooths never went away, even now that they were well into their eighties.

They sat in silence for a long while; watching the soft, fluffy snow falling slowly outside of the booth. They listened to the hubbub of the market and relaxed. Felix was happy.

“God has been good to us,” Daisy muses.

“That is very true,” Felix agrees.

They’d been blessed. With each other, with their health, with their families and friends; some of whom (including them) had great-grandkids now. They’d been able to travel, to volunteer and give back, to live a lot of life. And they had loved a lot. He thought that maybe no one else in the world had ever loved as much as they had. And still did.

“Hey,” she said and he could hear a smile in her voice, “your voice is really deep.”

He laughed and nuzzled against her with a smile. Julian came to help them pack up when the market closed, bringing two steaming chocolate chip cookies with him. Daisy held hers up toward Felix as the snow fell romantically around them.

“Cheers to you, my sunshine.”

He tapped his cookie against hers, “Cheers to you, my sweetheart.”

Then, he kissed her. The cookies smudged her gloves and his mittens with the melting chocolate, but they only had eyes for each other at the moment. Felix rested his forehead on Daisy’s and closed his eyes with a smile, just feeling the calming presence of the love of his life.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Epilogue

Felix sighed, his breath rattling through his weary lungs. He lay in bed, surrounded by family. His family, the families of his friends. They’d stayed friends literally forever, the lot of them; just like they always said they would. They were basically one (very large at this point) family. He loved each and every face here very much, but he was ready. His friends. They weren’t here anymore. He was the last and he was nearly one hundred years old. It had been a few years now that he was the last man standing and he was tired. They hadn’t gone in order of their age, but they had all gone peacefully. He’d attended every single funeral, no matter the weather or circumstances, as the others who went with him dwindled in number. Changbin had kept him company the longest, still holding him like he was just a kid when he had to endure Daisy’s funeral. He’d expected to go then; they’d basically shared a heart since the day they’d met. But it wasn’t in God’s plan, he supposed.

He was lucky to have had her as long as he did, though. Lucky, lucky, lucky. He was grateful for his life. He’d accomplished so much and watched his friends do the same. Had raised a family he was proud of and they would go on accomplishing even more. Their kids had had kids and those kids had had kids, and now he was so old that those kids were starting to have kids. And they all grew up together. It was a little funny, he thought, giving a rasping chuckle to himself. Just a bunch of idiots in college all snuggling in the back of a truck after a rager of a tailgate, and they’d built an empire out of their love for each other. Outside of his family, those friends were his home. And he was ready to go home.

“It’s ok, grandpa,” a gentle voice said. He glanced over to see his favorite granddaughter looking at him with such tender care. She looked so much like Daisy; had her eyes. She placed her hand on his arm, “You don’t have to stay for us.”

He hadn’t even known he was waiting for that, but once it was said, he felt free. He smiled at her and closed his eyes.

When he opened them, he was surprised. He had not expected to wake up again. He was still, slowly realizing that he was not looking at the hospital ceiling. It was a blue sky, puffy clouds drifting slowly and merrily along above him. Clouds that he could see very clearly. He went to muster the strength to move and found that it wasn’t necessary. He sprang right up. He laughed in wonder and his hand went to his throat. Then he looked down at that hand. It was smooth and strong. He touched his face, his hair. He was young again. The grass he stood on was plush and green and his gaze followed the little walkway up through the yard to his own front door.

He didn’t question it, he just knew he was meant to go inside. With a lungful of fresh, fragrant air, he strode confidently up the steps. When he opened the door and stepped inside, he was bombarded. It was a tangle of strong limbs and solid frames, voices filled with the smoothness of youth held lifetimes of love as they all spoke at once. He managed to look around and see their faces. Changbin. Seungmin. Jeongin. There was Hyunjin. Han. Lee Know. Chris. They were all there, waiting for him. He felt nothing but love and peace, not even the urge to cry happy tears. They got their hugs and pats and pets of his hair in, then they parted. Behind them, standing in the middle of the room, was Daisy. Young and vibrant. A blue banner hung from the wall. It said “Welcome Home, Felix.”

“You did this for me?” he asked with a cheeky smile, walking toward her. Her answering smile felt like the sun after the longest winter. Like pure nirvana.

“Of course,” she grinned and held her arms open, “Welcome home.”

He rushed into them and scooped her up, spinning her. He was so incredibly happy. She laughed, her golden hair flying behind her.

“Do you like it?” she asked quietly as he set her down but held her close. She laid a hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. One little tear tracked down his cheek and with it, he felt any lingering doubts or worries wash away. He opened his eyes again and looked down into hers, the green clear as day. He smiled and rested his forehead against hers.

☀☀☀ TWO YEARS LATER

“It’s not your love that’s making me half crazy; let’s go!” Chris yelled, ten steps ahead of her.

She tried to walk as fast as she could in her tall, hot pink heels. “I’m coming, you goon!”

He sighed and stopped, waiting for her to catch up. When she got there, he scooped her into a piggy-back and jogged across the plaza. Once they entered the building and checked in, taking their nametags that were some of the last left, they filed into the auditorium with the other stragglers. “Oi!” a loud shout made them look up.

It was Lee Know, waving both arms. He sat with Changbin, Hyunjin, and Carrie; and there were two seats beside them that they managed to save. Chris and Daisy climbed up the stairs and scooted past the row of people to plop into the seats.

“Thanks,” Daisy sighed, pushing her hair back out of her face.

“What took you so long?”

“Someone had to wear her special shoes,” Chris said and Daisy gaped at him.

“Excuse me?? We had to go back for you because you put two different shoes on!”

“Yeah but you couldn’t run back as fast,” he crossed his arms, sitting back in his seat.

“Carry me sooner next time, then,” she sniffed, crossing hers and sitting back too.

The rest of them just stared at them, then everyone dissolved into laughter. It was time, then; and the coordinator started guiding them out of the auditorium to the back stage area.

“Perfect timing,” Chris held up a hand and Daisy high fived it.

“A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.”

They waited and waited and waited until, finally, it was their turn. Chris had a very loud cheering section as he strode across the stage. He waved and collected his diploma, shaking the dean’s hand. He turned his tassel to the other side and held it up in triumph. They cheered louder. Daisy grinned then walked out herself. The lights were bright and warm and the roar of her loved ones made it even more so. She shook the dean’s hand with a big grin, turned her tassel, then made her way to the other curtain. She and Chris cheered from backstage as Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Carrie each got their diplomas. Together, they walked back into the auditorium and hung out until the ceremony was over and they were allowed to meet their friends and families out by the fountain.

They headed out into sunshine; the spring day nice and warm, and Daisy took off when she saw some familiar blonde hair. Felix spotted her and grinned. She jumped into his arms and he caught her, giving her a good spin. When he set her down, he was glowing with pride. He offered her the giant bouquet he was holding in one hand that only got a little smooshed when they’d hugged and she gasped.

“Thank you! They’re beautiful,” she smiled, leaning in to smell them,

“Oh now you can run,” Chris huffed as he and the others caught up.

Daisy got more flowers and hugs from her family. All of their families were together and they took what felt like hundreds of pictures. Daisy felt bright and optimistic and loved. The last two years had been the most transformative of her life. She and Felix had stayed strong, as had her friendships. She’d worked through her trauma with her therapist and she let Felix help her. She still felt like she’d never quite be the same again, but was learning to be ok with that. Maybe she liked this new version of herself just as much as she missed the old one. Classes had gotten harder, their schedules more demanding. She’d had internships and job changes and all the usual life things and she was here now, officially graduated. She’d made it.

Felix, Han, and Seungmin had one year left and Jeongin had two. They all planned on staying in the same area, so not too much would change. At least she hoped. But she felt positive about the prospect of the future. They went out for Mexican food at one of Daisy’s favorite restaurants afterward and her mom had brought a huge box of congratulatory cupcakes. She passed them out to her friends and family and the waitstaff, letting them take some back to the kitchen, too. She was a few margaritas in and feeling great when Felix leaned over.

“Don’t get too crazy; we have to make our flight,” he reminded her, but his tone was light and he was smiling.

“I know. It’s fine,” she waved a hand, saying what she’d said before their first flight to Australia. He laughed and kissed her forehead.

They bid everyone goodbye a few hours later and he loaded their suitcases into the trunk of the Uber, then offered his hand. She’d changed out of her dress and heels into a more comfortable flying outfit, but he treated her like she was on the red carpet. She giggled and took it, sliding into the back seat, then tugged him in with her. Their journey was long, but still much shorter than their journey to Australia had been. This time, they were headed to South Korea. They’d decided a year ago that this was what they wanted to do once she graduated, and she’d started to learn Korean to prepare. Though she had a year of it under her belt, she was just terrible with languages and was therefore very glad that Felix was a lot smarter than her.

Their trip was a whirlwind from the get-go. There was so much to see, so much to do, and - most importantly - so much to eat. They went all day and all night for several days, their clothes and belongings strewn around their hotel room like their bags had exploded. Today was a little bit more chill; all she wanted was to see the cherry blossoms. So Felix was taking her to Jinhae. They would wing it from there. She dressed in a baby blue dress, fitted but modest, with a blue bow in her hair, silver jewelry, white tight patterned with flowers, and blue shoes. Felix wore some perfectly tailored white pants and a bright but soft yellow sweater. He had his favorite silver jewelry on, too, and his new fancy sneakers he’d bought the day before. They looked like a couple of Easter eggs. She loved it. She could see the trees as they approached and she was already awe-struck.

When they got out of their cab, he took her hand and they walked into the tunnel of trees. It was busy, but not impossibly so. One thing Daisy found she absolutely loved here was the respect everyone had for others in public. It was certainly not always so where she was from, or in other places she’d visited. She and Felix had had to work to be conscious of themselves during this trip, too, given their propensity for being obnoxious and in their own world. It was easy today; the scenery was so stunning, so inconceivably beautiful that all she could do was stare wordlessly around. She truly felt like she was living in a story book. Felix’s hand was warm and sure in hers, fingers laced together as they strolled slowly along the Yeojwacheon Stream.

Someone passing by slowed to tell Felix his shoe was untied. He looked down in surprise and knelt.

“Thank you,” he said as he re-tied it.

Daisy smiled and watched a few petals floating peacefully onto the stream as she waited for him. She was lost in thought for a bit, then turned to check on him. He was still kneeling, but he was no longer tying his shoe. He was on one knee, waiting patiently for her to turn around, with a ring in his hands. He held it up with the thumbs and pointer fingers of both hands like an offering and it sparkled in the sunlight. His face was just as brilliant; his eyes warm and patient and kind; his smile huge. Her hands shot up to her mouth and her brain shortcircuited.

“Daisy,” he said, “You have proved to me that true love exists and that it can be even better than a fairytale. I wish to never be parted from you from this day on. Will you marry me?”

She was finally able to move and she found that she was nodding like a bobble-head, looking like a fool as she laughed and tears gathered in her eyes.

“Yes!” she exclaimed, rushing forward and offering him her hand, “Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!”

He was crying and laughing too and he slid it onto her finger. She yanked him up and he stumbled into her as she held him tightly. His arms wrapped around her in turn, solid and safe. He began to rock her in an exaggerated way and she gave a tearful laugh. God, she loved him so much. She pulled back and kissed him, being in public be damned. He kissed her back, pouring every ounce of his love for her into it. When he pulled back, he was looking at her with such pride and joy that she thought she would die. She set her hands on his cheeks, rounded from his sunshiney grin and looked into his beautiful eyes, all crinkled up in happiness. The ring sparkled again and she finally looked at it properly. It was perfect. A light gold band with a smattering of diamonds along the front. One round one in the center, bigger than the rest but not obnoxiously so. A cluster of four smaller diamonds surrounded it on each side and then there was one more after that, small and giving it a tapered look. Delicate. Romantic. Absolutely perfect. She set her hand back on his cheek and smiled so big.

“Are you happy?” he asked, smiling like a fool right back. “I’m ok,” she shrugged, “You know, just admiring my hand with my ring on my fiance's perfect face. A regular Tuesday.”

He laughed and kissed her again, like he couldn’t help it. “Fiance,” he murmured, setting his forehead against hers.

“Major brownie points for quoting Mr. Darcy,” she smiled. They held each others’ hands between them, their arms relaxed, just resting their foreheads together. It was exactly where she wanted to be.

“I thought you’d like that. And it’s true,” he giggled. “I love, I love,”

“I love you,” they finished together and giggled again.

“I really do, sunshine,” she said, looking up at him.

“I know, sweetheart. I really do, too.”

They finally tore themselves away from each other and he took her hand once more. The pressure pressed the ring against her skin a little more firmly, a reminder. Daisy felt like one of the flower petals, floating along down the river. The air was sweet, perfumed by the trees. The sun shone and it was like a filter on the world. She truly felt as if she had rose-colored glasses; every sense just completely taken over by an overwhelming sense of love. He took her to a beautiful cafe and they fed each other desserts. She insisted on paying for them, succeeding only because she was faster than him. Everything they passed in any shop that he so much as glanced at for the rest of the day, she bought it for him. She resisted the intense urge to tip every cashier they interacted with.

Felix laughed with abandon, throwing his head back as they left the current shop. “You’re crazy!” he said.

“I’m too full of love! If I don’t get it out, I’ll burst!” she insisted, really feeling that it was true.

So they sat on a bench and she took all the money she was going to tip that day and donated it online to a charity they both chose. Then, they spent hours planning their next trip; volunteering. She wished they could go right now. Nothing could get her down. Felix seemed to feel the same and he floated beside her like a helium-filled balloon, never letting her go far. He was touching her in some way, even if it was just his pinkie brushing the fabric of her dress, at all times. She gravitated toward him as well, like a magnet that couldn’t resist the pull for long.

They meandered back to the river after he bought her a pink boba tea and she held it up with her left hand by the stream, taking a strategic picture. He held her from behind, chin on her shoulder, watching proudly. She turned the camera toward them and they smiled then he kissed her for one. She couldn’t wait to post them, and did right away. She put the one of them kissing first, then the ring, then the smiles; adding an instrumental version of “Marry You,” just to really make it clear in case anyone missed the point. Felix watched all of this too and laughed, hugging her against him. He pulled his phone out to repost it on his page as well.

By the time they got back to their hotel, they had received texts, calls, comments, and likes from many people. It just added to the loving feeling and they were high off of it. But it was too easy to turn off both phones once they were alone. Her world went quiet, then, narrowing down to the most important person in her life. The sunset was bursting with color outside of the window as he laid her down on the soft bed. They made love, quietly so as to hear each other breathe; the rustle of their movements its own soundtrack. They managed to do it three times that night, each time just as romantic as the last. Finally, he helped her into the bathtub; big enough to actually fit them both comfortably and under the water, and she settled back against his chest. Her arm stuck out of the bubbles and her hand rested on the rim of the tub. Her ring glinted in the candlelight.

“I love it so much,” she murmured.

“I’m so glad,” he replied, his lips against her hair.

“When did you get this?” she asked, tilting her head back to look at him. She blinked in surprise as his face flushed, his expression turning a little embarrassed.

“I’ve had it since April,” he said.

“That’s not that long,” she said, confused about his reaction and he shook his head with a little laugh.

“The very first April.”

She let that sink in, her eyes going unfocused at the wall. Not even a year into knowing her let alone dating her; they’d met in September. That was crazy! She looked back up at him and softened. “Really?”

“Yes,” he chuckled and kissed her shoulder, “I would wait for you forever, but I knew even then that this was where the road I wanted to take would lead us. And I’m really glad it did. Thank you for walking that road with me, sweetheart.”

“We’ve got a lot of walking left to do, sunshine,” she smiled.

St. Patrick’s Day was upon them. They were having the annual false spring, and Daisy and Felix were living for the sun. It was still much colder than it looked and she knew better than to think winter wasn’t coming back once more with a vengeance, but she couldn’t help but truly believe this was finally the year that spring came early and stayed. Felix still loved the snow but the long stretch without the sun was wearing on him too. They’d spent hours in their library/gaming room with happy lights blasting them in the face just to get by. But this was one of Daisy’s favorite holidays. She had a whole playlist for it and made a new Irish recipe every year. This year’s stew and cake featured Guinness and turned out really yummy.

The boys all sat around her and Felix’s apartment, eating it up before going out. They were all wearing some sort of green and Daisy had gotten them all cheap plastic bead necklaces that were gold and had a plastic shot glass attached to the bottom. Once they were done eating, they each grabbed a Guinness and went outside.

“Tradition!” Seungmin said, holding his beer up.

“Tradition!” they all cried, saying it in-tune, like in Fiddler on the Roof.

Then, they shotgunned them. Daisy was awful at shotgunning; it was not remotely a talent she possessed with any beverage, especially carbonated ones. And every year, they did this and immediately complained about how nearly any other beer would be better to do this with than Guinness. But it was indeed tradition, so they suffered through. Some whiskey shots were had, then they headed out. They walked along the main street downtown, stopping by all the pubs and bars. They ran into classmates and friends, drank, and were merry. At one point, they decided to get some Ubers to the small Irish pub Daisy loved that was just far enough that they couldn’t walk easily. They came sprawling out of the cars, loud as usual, and headed inside. It was busy; it always was on this day. But they managed to finally make it to the bar for their yearly Framboise. Daisy led Felix through the crowd to the patio area outside, where they could breathe. She watched him take his first sip and he brightened. He hummed and took another sip.

“Mmm! That’s very nice,” he said. He smacked his lips then nodded, “That’s very nice.”

“That’s very noice,” she was drunk enough to tease him about his accent.

They giggled. They stood around and just chatted for a while until their pints were gone, then Daisy went around the corner to throw her napkin into the garbage bin. And she ran straight into Josh.

“Oh sorry! I- oh,” she said dumbly as she looked up and realized who it was. Her insides twisted, her body physically rejecting his presence.

“I had a feeling I would see you here,” was what he said. She couldn’t help but make a face.

“Probably because I come every year. I’m the one who showed you this place,” she said back. She was drunk enough to be a bit confrontational, too, it seemed. It was kind of pleasant.

“I know. We used to have so much fun,” he said, giving her puppy eyes. That used to work on her; she thought his eyes were so pretty before. But now, they looked like dog shit compared to Felix’s. Everything about him was wan and pathetic in the light of day.

“Ok,” she said and turned to leave. There was no use engaging.

“Wait, don’t you want to catch up?” he asked, grabbing her arm.

She stiffened. It wasn’t hard and she knew she could pull away if she were able to move, but she was frozen. Her heart was racing, her body pumping adrenaline to ready her for fight or flight. But all she was doing was freezing. He let go of her and she turned again to look at him, her heart pounding painfully in her chest, the familiar fear rising and lodging in her throat. She hated that he could still do that to her. That he was here now, ruining her perfect day. That he thought he could put his fucking hands on her.

“Don’t ever touch me again,” she said. It came out thin, reedy, wavering; not at all strong like she meant it to. But it still held enough weight that she saw the surprise flash in his eyes.

“Don’t be like that,” he scoffed. He opened his mouth but she didn’t get to find out what bullshit he would spew next.

A hand landed on her back, grounding her. She smelled Felix’s cologne and his mere presence had the exact opposite effect of Josh’s. She stepped closer to him unconsciously. Josh’s eyes tracked the movement then narrowed a little, his face twisting into an ugly scowl.

“You don’t speak to her,” was what came out of Felix’s mouth. No mincing words, no introduction, no pretend niceties. She saw surprise flash across Josh’s features at Felix’s deep voice and words, then he fell back into the scowl. He opened his mouth again but this time, Felix cut him off. “I’m not asking.”

Daisy’s heart was galloping; she wasn’t sure what to do or how to feel. All she was able to pull off was a blank mind and a frozen body still.

“Please,” Josh scoffed, “It’s-”

“You had your chances. More than you deserved and you wasted them all. You don’t get access to her anymore. Come on, sweetheart,” he turned to her then and spoke softly.

He guided her around and they had only taken a step or two when Josh’s footstep scuffed the pavement. He had stepped too, nothing more, but Daisy flinched. Felix noticed. He stopped and didn’t bother to turn around again. He simply tilted his head. “If you come near her again, she won’t have to deal with it. I will.”

Daisy’s insides quivered, a gambit of emotions ripping through her. But Felix was her anchor in the storm. She could do it with him by her side. She could. They started walking again but of course, of course, Josh had to have the last word. And the words that came out of his mouth were racist and homophobic, so ugly that they stopped Daisy dead in her tracks again. It took a second for them to truly sink in and that’s when her body regained itself. She spun on him, ready to… well, she didn’t know but, there was NO fucking way anyone was talking to Felix like that while she was there. But Felix remained calm. He laid a gentle hand on her arm and she stilled once more, watching as he stepped forward. Josh was bigger than him, but doughier. He thought he was tougher, too, because he swung. Daisy gasped, but Felix moved like lightning.

He blocked Josh’s punch so easily it would’ve been comical in another lifetime. Then, in a movement so smooth it was like dancing, he went to his knees and flipped Josh over. Josh made a noise like a little girl as he went down, landing in front of Felix with Felix still holding his arm in a position that wouldn’t take much more movement at all to break it. People were watching now and there were a lot of gasps from the crowd. Felix held him there for just long enough to drive his point home. He leaned in to speak softly enough only Josh and Daisy would hear him.

“Not so fun being physically helpless, is it? Maybe remember this if you ever think about putting your hands on a woman again. This is the only warning you’ll ever get.”

His voice was deadly; she’d never heard him take that tone before. She didn’t even know he was capable of it. He let go of Josh’s arm and stood calmly. He gave no backwards glance at Josh or the crowd, he only took Daisy’s hand and pulled her back into the bar. He motioned to Changbin as they passed him and then they were out front where it was quiet. Felix let go of her hand and turned to her, looking apologetic.

“Are you ok?” he asked, “Do you feel safe with me right now?”

She blinked at him dumbly, not comprehending the question. He didn’t move to touch her. She didn’t understand.

“Daisy, I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I wasn’t going to let it go that far. I know you can’t trust me now that I did go that far; but please just tell me what you need. I’ll do anything, even if it’s leaving.”

The boys came out of the bar then, all of them in a row, and stopped when they reached Daisy and Felix.

“What’s going on here?” Jeongin asked uncertainly, looking between the couple. Daisy stood stiffly with Felix in front of her. His posture was like someone trying to not frighten an animal, his hands lifted as if to show that he wouldn’t use them as weapons.

“Josh is here,” Felix answers him, barely sparing him a glance. There was a murmur through the friend group; they knew enough to know that was bad news. Lee Know stepped toward the door again but Han caught his arm with a little shake of his head. They had a silent conversation with just one look and Lee Know settled.

Daisy looked at the rest of them, feeling like she was underwater. Everything was slow and muted and her brain was not working right.

“Chris, can you watch over her? I think I should go,” Felix says, his jaw clenching in pain.

Chris stepped forward to stand by Daisy’s side. He was stiff, too, like he needed tight control over every muscle in his body so he didn’t go finish what Felix started. He nodded tersely. Felix gave Daisy one last sad look and went to turn away. It made her panic to think he was leaving and it catapulted her out of the water, life rushing back in at full speed so she could see and hear clearly all of a sudden. It was dizzying, but Feilx mattered more to her than any of that. Her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

“Wait,” she said, her voice breaking.

Felix stopped in surprise then turned toward her again. He took one look at her face and then she was in his arms. She’s not sure who even moved first. He did let her make the last move, though, holding back; but she clung to him and he finally wrapped his arms around her. He was shaking a little too.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered pleadingly.

“Oh sweetheart, I never would. I just wanted to give you space if you needed it.”

“I need you,” she replied.

They held onto each other for a long moment until the proximity calmed their nervous systems. He stepped back, but not far, and moved slowly; he was heartbreakingly gentle as he cupped her face and looked at her, assessing.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “I…I wasn’t brave.”

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me. And you never had to be brave to deserve better. But, for what it’s worth, I think you are so brave.”

Her lower lip started to tremble pathetically, like a cartoon character, and tears pooled in her eyes. Felix gave a sad chuckle and swiped his thumbs through the wet tracks they left as they spilled over. “Even after everything, you were going to stand up to him for me.”

“I’m so sorry he said that to you,” she sniffled, “It was horrible.”

“He’s just small,” Felix shrugged, “he had nothing else to fall back on.”

“I’m sorry I froze up. And that I’m such a mess now,” she sobbed, unable to stop crying right on the public sidewalk.

“You’re allowed to feel shaken. Nothing about this changes the way I see you,” he replied softly.

Then she really broke down. He held her close with her face in his neck, one hand on the back of her head as he rocked her just a little, letting her cry it out. The rush of emotion after the incident and the alcohol was making it impossible for her to calm down. But he didn’t seem to care at all, about anything but her. She wasn’t sure how long it took before she was able to fight through it and control herself like an adult, but she finally stopped, swallowing the rest of her tears. The collar of his shirt was wet from the tears and she frowned as she pulled back.

“Sorry, that’s gross.”

“Stop apologizing, please,” he said, wiping her face again, “You have nothing to apologize for, ok?”

“Ok,” she agreed.

When she was able to stand on her own, she became aware of her surroundings once more. The boys had their backs to her and Felix, as if to give them privacy. But they were also standing in a little half-circle around them, blocking them from anyone walking by. They were standing casually, some of them chatting quietly, trying to look normal; but she could see the tension in them. It was so thoughtful and so much more love than she felt she deserved that she burst into tears again. Hyunjin was closest to her and she pulled him by his hand into a hug. It was like pulling the thread on a sweater and all of them came in with him, forming a group hug that felt like safety. Hyunjin sniffled against her hair and she looked up in surprise. He was tearing up too.

“Don’t look at me,” he said dramatically, genuinely not exaggerating.

It made her laugh. Then she was laughing, laughing, laughing, and it caught. They all stood there, holding each other, laughing. They could feel each other laughing, too, which made them laugh harder. She was sure they looked absolutely insane and someone might actually call the bar’s security on them, but she didn’t care. Finally they broke apart but stayed close.

“You let me know if you want him taken care of,” Lee Know said quietly as he stepped back.

She had no idea what exactly he meant by that or how he would possibly “take care” of Josh, but she had no doubts that he could - and would - do it if she asked him to.

“He’s not worth it,” she smiled tiredly at him and he gave her a gentle smile back, the big softie, and tapped his knuckle gently on her arm.

“Thatta girl,” he said proudly.

The bar mood was pretty much ruined after that, but they all wanted to be together. They Ubered back to Daisy and Felix’s, where they hung out in a big cuddle puddle and watched some Irish films. They ordered pizza for dinner, and Daisy took advantage of the window of the boys being so gentle with her; asking Chris innocently if he would please just try her and Felix’s pineapple pizza, just to see if his tastebuds had changed since the choir retreat a few years ago. His face was so entertaining as he lifted the slice to his lips, grimacing like he was about to lick dog shit, but toughly doing it for her. He bit the tiniest piece off and then shook his head, putting it down.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do it. It’s so bad,” he said.

The winter was dragging though time was moving so quickly. The friends all helped each other with various projects and homework, using each other to get through the long darkness of the days and the slushy mess the snow becomes in February. They took some time to celebrate Jeongin’s birthday at the beginning of the month; a party that would absolutely be brought up for the rest of their lives. Then, it was Daisy’s turn. With her family living across the state, she always had two weekends of celebrations. The weekend before, she and Felix went home to be with her family. They had cake and laughed a lot and cuddled Elora’s puppies. They just had to get through the week of classes then it would be time for the friend party.

It was Wednesday, just two more days to get through until her party on Friday, and Daisy was more than ready. She stepped from the intense wind blowing snow in her face into a too-warm building on campus, immediately taking off her hat, gloves, scarf, and coat. She did not love having to do this. Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of her purse as she bundled her outerwear into her bag. It was from Chris.

ChrisTOPHer🐺❤️: Hey I have some bad news. I know you like to get that through text so just a heads up we can’t host the party anymore. Jeongin and Changbin both got food poisoning 🙁

Daisy read the message, her heart dropping. Fuck. Ok that was fine. Fine. She could pivot.

Daisy: Oh no!! I hope they feel better soon. I’ll ask Felix if he minds if we have it?

ChrisTOPHer🐺♥️: Ok lmk

She texted Felix.

Daisy: Hey dear! Chris just told me Binnie and Innie have food poisoning so they can’t have the party there Friday. Move to our place?

Lixie Poo🩵🩵🩵: Of course! I’ll post on the FB page, yeah? Don’t worry

Daisy: Ok thank you so much I love you

Lixie Poo🩵🩵🩵: I love you too, sweetheart

She got the notification a moment later and read over his post. She loved it and ventured into the building toward her classroom, her mind spinning now with preparation plans and what she would have to do now in order to make this work. Before she knew it, she only had half a day to prepare. And then she was hit with more bad news.

Lixie Poo🩵🩵🩵: I am so sorry, baby. They said they’d fix it ASAP but they don’t know how long it’ll take…

Included was a photo of their apartment building, a huge water main break gushing out of it. She cursed. There was no way they could have the party that night.

Daisy: Oh fuck! Ok. Ummmmm let’s just have everyone meet at the bar? It’s fine

She was disappointed but at this point, she was tired and didn’t want to plan anything else. They’d bar hop and it would still be fun. She went about her day but it just got worse and worse. Han sent her a picture of Lee Know in the ER with a badly sprained ankle. Hyunjin and Carrie were meant to come back from their little trip they’d taken but their flight was delayed due to a storm. A few of her other friends had things pop up, too. Finally, she steeled herself and went to the FB page for her party and cancelled it. She wrote a kind message to let everyone know there was too much difficulty and that it was ok, thanks anyway. But she was upset. She knew no one could help it, but it really could get so exhausting working so hard to make sure everyone else’s birthday was so special for them but always have her own be all on her and not work out. Birthdays were a big deal to her. She called her mom on the way home and had a little cry. She felt better by the time she got there, just tired now.

Felix met her at the door. “Hey! So they’re saying that it’ll take until tomorrow afternoon to fix the entire building and since we don’t have water, I thought we could go to Chris’s? We can just hang out with him?”

“Ok,” she agreed, feeling haggard.

“I’m sorry,” he pulled her in and kissed her forehead, “I know this isn’t at all what you wanted. I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”

“It’s not your fault,” she closed her eyes and leaned into him, “I’ll survive.”

She put on a brave face and a smile and they packed up their overnight bags. When they got to Chris’s apartment, he was listening to some music and cutting something. He looked up when they entered and grinned.

“Hello, hello! Welcome, birthday girl!” He put his knife down and went over to scoop her up in a big hug.

“Thank you,” she said, clinging to him. At least she had her favorite boys. They never let her down.

He set her back on her feet then beckoned for her to follow him into the kitchen. It was cheese he was cutting, and adding to an intricate charcuterie board. There were three bottles of wine on the counter and three glasses.

“Ohh,” she said excitedly, looking over everything. He had all her favorites.

“I figured some cheese might help,” he smiled.

“You know me so well,” she smiled back.

They all sat on the couch, snuggled up under one big blanket. Daisy was in the middle and actually quite happy. They watched a scary movie and she held Felix when it was too scary, Chris laughing. They played some games. They talked late into the night. It was really nice. A part of her still mourned the night she thought she’d have, but she was grateful for her guys. Chris had made up Felix’s bed in his office for them and they got ready and settled in. Felix pulled her into his arms and nuzzled into her hair.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he murmured.

“I love you too,” she replied.

They fell asleep. When she woke up, she was alone. Today was her actual birthday and already her phone was blowing up. That was nice. She replied to all the messages so far and then looked around. It had been a while and Felix was still gone. She frowned and got up. It was weirdly quiet when she went to the bathroom and got ready for the day. She peeked in Chris’s room to find his bed made. She crept down the stairs and looked in the kitchen. No one.

“The fuck,” she muttered.

She even went and knocked on Changbin’s door but he didn’t answer. She didn’t want to disturb him or Jeongin if they were resting, so she padded back out to the living room, at a complete loss. She had no notifications from Chris or Felix on her phone. She chewed her lip and wandered around aimlessly. Something hot pink caught her eye and she went over to the shelf to find a post-it note, folded in half with her name written on it. She plucked it from the shelf and unfolded it.

Go to where the stars can be found The moon poignant, white, and round

Her heart leapt. A scavenger hunt?? She loved those! She immediately forgave them for abandoning her and pulled on her coat, shoving her feet in her boots. Excitedly, she walked to the playground to find another pink note rolled up and pushed into one of the chain links of the swing she’d sat on that night.

Now find the place where we are kings Happy together when we’re tailgating

She giggled at the silly rhyme and tucked the note into her pocket. She drove over to the empty lot and found the next note hanging from a branch. There was a little envelope with this one.

This is a special place for you Look in the envelope for a clue

She opened the envelope and peeked inside. There was a strip of paper and when she pulled it out, it was a theater ticket from Hairspray, the first show she’d worked on when she started at the university. She was off to the theater next, a little apprehensive about whether she would be able to find a small note in such a big place, but it waited for her, taped right to the inside of the door. She was thankful no one else had found it and taken it down or she’d be lost.

Great job, hon! You’re almost there The park is next, we rode a sleigh there

She drove to the park to find the note on a bench, tucked under a steaming to-go cup of hot chocolate. She looked around; someone had to have just put it there for it to still be so hot. But she was alone. She sipped it and smiled when she tasted whiskey and Bailey’s. She unfolded this note.

Take your time; enjoy your drink Then meet me at the skating rink

The school turned the hockey rink into open ice skating a few times a week in the winter time, so she headed there next. She tried to be slow about it, standing at the park for a bit and sipping on her hot chocolate. Maybe he needed time for this next one. But she couldn’t make herself wait too long. She chugged the rest of the drink as soon as it was cool enough to do so, then headed to her car. She was practically vibrating with excitement as she parked. She didn’t see any other cars in the parking lot and it was quiet when she went inside. At the photo booth sat Norman, the next note balanced on his little nose.

Here I am! Are you surprised? Sorry to make you roam This time, for real, I’m waiting. Come to me, come home.

Daisy chuckled and hugged Norman to her chest as she headed out once more to her car. She parked in her spot under the carport and trudged up to her apartment. When she stepped inside, she closed the door then turned, expecting to see Felix. What she was not expecting was to be startled by screaming.

“SURPRISE!!!”

She screamed and jumped twice in fear, then put her hand to her heart with a breathless laugh, looking around. All of her friends were there, crowded into the living room and kitchen. Balloons floated along the ceiling. Some people wore party hats and had little party horns. Lee Know walked out of Felix’s bedroom, looked at everyone, looked over to see her, then blew his own party horn.

“Surprise!” he said, shrugging.

It made them all crack up and Daisy was still laughing when he grinned and went over to hug her. She was bombarded then by a very excited Han, who told her in great detail how hard it was for him to keep this a secret. A very not sick Changbin and Jeongin greeted her next, then she was thrilled to see Hyunjin and Carrie.

“Oh my God you guys all lied to me!” Daisy laughed in disbelief as Seungmin gave her a hug, “How did you do this? You sent pictures!”

“AI, baby,” Hyunjin grinned, “You’re really hard to surprise so we had to sell it.”

“Lee Know’s foot?” Daisy asked.

“An old picture.” Han grinned proudly.

“The water main??”

“That was real but it was a decently quick fix,” Jeongin said. She laughed at the fact that they were all in on it.

“This is so nice,” Daisy said, “I’ve always wanted a surprise party.”

“We know,” Chris grinned, shouldering past Seungmin to hug her.

“You turd,” she muttered lovingly. He just squeezed her tight. Then she was passed to a beaming Felix, who shone like the sun.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he said.

She went more than willingly into his arms and let him kiss her in front of everyone, dipping her down a little and making her giggle. He smiled against her lips then stood them both back up. He pulled back enough to put a giant, glittering plastic tiara on her, grinning.

“You always do the exact right thing for me,” she beamed.

“That makes me so happy to hear,” he said.

“You make me so happy, sunshine,” she replied.

“Ok ok enough,” Seungmin said, sticking out his tongue and gesturing with his finger like he was going to throw up. “It’s time.”

“Time for what?” Daisy asked, looking between Seungmin and Felix. She caught sight of Lee Know behind them, giving her an evil look, rubbing his hands together. “Ok well that’s terrifying,” she said, eyes widening.

Felix wrangled everyone into the living room and passed out little pink pencils while Chris passed out sheets of paper.

“What is this?” Daisy asked again, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of the papers.

“Games!” Han said.

“They’re you themed,” Changbin grinned.

“Oh?” she said, taken aback. Finally, she got her own sheets.

They were the kind of games you play at bridal showers or bachelorette parties. One was a this or that, one was a trivia, and the last was a cutely printed little pink sheet with a few prompts for people to write things they loved about her, admired about her, favorite memories, etc.

“Oh my God,” she said as she looked them over. This was exactly the kind of thing she lived for. “This is so fun!!” she squealed and bounced in excitement.

Felix laughed and turned on some music while everyone filled out their sheets. She filled hers out too, so they’d have the definitive answers. Once Felix had determined enough time had passed, he paused the music.

“Ok let’s do the this or that first! The person with the most right answers gets a prize!”

“This is incredible,” Daisy said to Han, who laughed.

In the end, almost everyone got them all right, Daisy being such an open book about her likes and dislikes, and Felix gave the prize to the person who had been her friend the longest of the group of who got them right. It was a simple little gift basket of some goodies anyone could enjoy. Daisy was astounded by the planning and thought Felix put into this and the fact that he got presents for multiple people. She could just die for how much she loved him. The trivia was next, which was hilarious and got heated a few times. Daisy allowed people to argue their points.

“Ok no, that’s fair. I change my answer; Hyunjin is right,” she declared, earning herself a glare from Chris, who she patted on the head.

It was actually Jeongin who won the trivia, sending the crowd into a frenzy. He blushed as he was jostled and teased, smiling. Daisy handed him his gift with a big smile. He was too cute.

“You’re a good friend, kiddo,” she said.

“I’m only two years younger than you,” he scoffed, but he was still smiling.

“Respect your elders, boy!” Lee Know said, whacking him on the back of the head like a mom.

Daisy had to yank the gift basket out of the way when Jeongin tackled Lee Know then, the two wrestling on the ground. It ended pretty quickly with Lee Know sitting on Jeongin smugly. Jeongin was on his stomach on the floor and took that opportunity to do a few push-ups with Lee Know on his back, which earned him a meme-worthy reaction from the rest of the party.

“That’s my boy!” Chris yelled proudly and Changbin shook Chris by the shoulders. They pretended to cry like proud parents.

Felix went around as the boys devolved into general chaos and collected the papers. He disappeared into the bedroom with them then came back and turned on the music again. They played musical chairs and limbo and waterfall. They milled around and chatted. It was one of the most fun birthdays Daisy had ever had and her cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much only a few hours in. When it was time for the cake, she was sat at the table and Chris carried it out as everyone sang to her. It was pink and sparkly with gorgeous frosting decorations. She blew out her candles in one blow and everyone cheered. Chris took it back into the kitchen for Felix to cut. It was cherry chip, pink inside as well; and Felix had gotten chocolate ice cream to go with it.

“It’s so beautiful,” Daisy said, leaning against the counter. She swiped some frosting from the side with her finger, licking it off. It was her birthday; she was allowed.

“Thank you,” Felix smiled.

“Did you make this??” she stood up straight. His ears turned pink and he nodded. “Felix, it’s perfect! Is that why you didn’t want to carry it?” she guessed. He rubbed the back of his neck and she laughed, hugging him. “You are too humble, my love. It’s adorable.”

The day turns into night, the party going on for hours. Eventually, people start slowly trickling out. When the last person leaves, Daisy feels so loved and fulfilled, her cup overflowing with the kind of socializing that energizes her. She shuts the door and turns to Felix.

“Uh oh. It looks like we’re all alone,” she says, leaning back against the door, “Unchaperoned and everything!”

“Well, you showed me your ankle earlier, what am I to think?” Felix replied, wagging his eyebrows.

She laughed and pushed off the wall, walking over to him. He held out his arms and she went into them, straddling him and settling into his lap. He rubbed her thighs and regarded her.

“Check in - how are you feeling, birthday girl?”

“I could not be happier,” she responded honestly.

“You weren’t too upset about things being cancelled?” He looked worried, “It killed me to do that to you.”

“I mean, I was,” she laughed, “but it was well worth it. Seriously, I have wanted this my entire life. I’m so grateful. You put so much effort into this all. I loved the scavenger hunt.”

“Ok good,” he smiled.

She smiled back and they just looked at each other for a long while. Then, she leaned down and kissed him slowly. He ran his hands up and down her sides slowly and she let hers wander over his chest. He pulled back after a while to speak.

“I have an idea,” he said.

“I’m for it,” she agreed immediately, making him laugh. His eyes crinkled happily and she had to kiss all over his face because he was so fucking cute, which just made him giggle more and that made her giggle.

He helped her up and threw blankets and pillows onto the floor, arranging them in a little bed. He stepped close and looked down at her as his hands slowly removed her shirt and her bra. Then he took off her pants and underwear and gestured for her to lay down on the bed. She did as he asked and laid on her tummy, folding her arms and laying her cheek on them. She had her head turned to look at him. It was just like the first time and they smiled at each other. Felix kept watching her watching him as he undressed too. He was half hard already and she let her eyes drop to look him over. God he was so beautiful. He grabbed some oil and her lips twitched. He had that ready. But she stopped wanting to laugh when he positioned himself like the first time, too; hovering over her thighs.

“This ok?” he echoed his own words.

“More than,” she hummed.

He made a pleased sound and drizzled the oil onto her back. She squirmed a little from the cold of it, but he was quick to warm it with his hands. It felt even better with the glide of the oil and she gave a genuine moan. He gave a low, deep grumble of approval and her hands curled into fists as she fought to stay still. His deep voice still affected her. He gave her a really good massage, taking his time on her back then her shoulders. He massaged her bum and her legs, then he had her turn around. She faced him, biting her lip on a smile. He glanced at her mischievous face and his mouth lifted into the same. He smirked, then cleared his throat and forced his face to be serious. She forced hers too, having to concentrate really hard. But when he dripped the oil onto her nipples, she gasped, and all thoughts of laughing flew out of the window.

He massaged it in, starting at her chest. She couldn’t help but moan the whole time. It felt so good, both sexually and in general. He moved up to her shoulders again and then massaged each of her arms. He picked up each hand and massaged her palms and fingers, too. He massaged down her torso, not spending too much time there since she was ticklish and it was a bit like torture. He massaged her hips, then down, his thumbs coming so close to her clit several times but never close enough. She squirmed. He was really turning her on. He lifted one of her legs and placed it out a bit, massaging it. He moved her other leg too and massaged it. Now, she was spread for him and he was between her legs. He was definitely much more than halfway hard now, but he still concentrated on her.

He lowered himself onto his stomach and she shifted in anticipation, excitement bolting through her. He smirked again and she stared. He was so sexy. He pulled her legs over his shoulders and went down on her, tongue confident and firm. She moaned, arching her head back. God, he was good at this. Every time she thought he couldn’t possibly get better and somehow, each time was even better than the last. It was actually insane. He explored every single inch of her that he could reach with his tongue and his lips, making deep growling noises every once in a while. It set her off and she came once, twice, three times before he let up.

“Mmmm,” he hummed, licking his lips as he pulled back, “Better than cake.”

“Lord,” she sighed helplessly.

He chuckled and she pulled him down to the nest, holding herself up on one hand above him. She traced one finger lightly down the center dip in his abs, appreciating the sight and feel. His stomach flexed under her touch but he managed to stay still, too.

“I think it’s time for another scavenger hunt,” she mused. He watched her curiously. “Did you know that you have the cutest freckles on your ears?” she leaned in and gently kissed along the shell of his ear. He let out a shaky breath. She pulled the lobe into her mouth and sucked a little and he squirmed.

“Now to find the spot that makes you make the most wonderful noises,” she murmured and kissed down his neck to nibble at the slope where his neck meets his shoulder. Sure enough, he moaned in the most delicious way.

“Next, I think I’ll go to where the world’s most precious resource is housed,” she said and leaned down to kiss his chest, right over his heart.

“Aw,” he said, looking down at her helplessly.

“Peaks and valleys that put all mountain ranges to shame,” she kissed over his abs and he let out a breath, trying to hold still. “V, perhaps my favorite letter now,” she ran her tongue up the line of the V shape on his hips. He moaned and his hand went into her hair. “Now to find the most perfect dick. Hmm wherever could one of those be?” She teased, tapping her chin. He let out a breathless chuckle and she chuckled too because she knew he was just humoring her. “Found it,” she whispered and put her mouth on him.

He moaned and she sucked him in deeply, greedily. She could never get enough of him. She splayed her hands on his trim hips and luxuriated in the feeling of his muscles shifting beneath his soft skin, keeping herself down on him with her mouth only. She pulled back only to take a breath and he scooted a little. When she pouted at him, he laughed breathlessly.

“I don’t want to come yet; I had a whole plan,” he said.

“Ok,” she sat up. He moved and laid her back down on her tummy.

“Alright, back on track after that very lovely detour,” he smiled, swinging his leg over her again.

He leaned in and rubbed at her shoulders again, but this time he let his cock touch her. She whimpered as he rubbed it against her slick skin, gathering oil. His legs trapped hers together but she tried to lift her hips a little. She felt the loss of one hand on her shoulders and her core thrummed in anticipation. He gripped himself and angled down, pressing slowly into her from behind. Her mouth dropped open. This position felt amazing.

“Oh fuck so tight,” he sighed. She peeked over her shoulder as best as she could and managed to glimpse him in all his glory, head dropped back and eyes closed in pleasure.

“Felix?” she spoke before her brain could even consciously decide to.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he tilted his head down to look at her.

“Will you film this? I really need to watch you.”

He paused for a second and she started to worry that she’d gone too far. But then he was leaning over her, which pressed him deeper, to grab his phone. He set it on the couch cushion and pressed the button then sat back up. She felt his hands caress and squeeze her ass.

“God, I love you,” he sighed, “This is so hot.”

“I love you,” she moaned back, laying her head back down. She closed her eyes and gave into the feeling of him, content now that she wouldn’t miss how he looked.

He placed one hand on her tailbone again and started to grind his hips into her ass in a rolling motion. She moaned, not really able to move much. All she could do was take it.

“You have no idea how good this is for me,” Felix moaned after a bit. He leaned forward, making her groan, and grabbed his phone again. He stayed where he was for several moments, jerking his hips in little snaps. “Fuck,” he muttered and grabbed her ass cheek then gave it a little slap.

Her eyes shot open in surprise and then rolled back as she came. Felix moaned.

“Oh fuck you liked that huh? Give me another,” he said, not letting up for a second.

He put the phone back where it was then he finally gave her a break, but it was only to adjust her into a more devastating position. He pulled out and grabbed her hips, yanking them up so her ass was in the air. Her hands shot out to press against the couch to steady herself. He nudged her knees a little farther apart then ran a hand down, following the hard curve of her spine at this angle. Then, he leaned in and started eating her out from behind.

“Oh God!” she wailed, overwhelmed.

His face was smushed against her like he wanted to fuse with her. Her legs started to shake when he pressed two fingers inside, curving them. She was going to come again, and he knew it. He worked her so skillfully, moaning against her when she lost it again. He went up on his knees and pressed into her once more while she was still coming. She choked on the gasp she sucked in then moaned his name. He spanked her again and then fucked her hard. Her hands pushed against the couch to create a solid frame for him to rail against. She could hardly breathe, he was fucking her so good.

“I’m gonna come,” he gritted out, “where do you want it?”

“Inside,” she begged.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he groaned, then he was holding on tight to her hips as he got as close and as deep as possible, filling her up. She moaned at the feeling of him pumping into her. It lasted quite a while and then he heaved a sigh and relaxed his grip. After catching his breath, he pulled out and guided her legs back down. He massaged them gently now, trying to work out the little tremors with his fingers. He kissed up her spine, then pulled her up to kiss her mouth lovingly.

“Ok, sweetheart?” he asked.

“I’m floaty again,” she smiled dopily. He smiled against her smile.

He remembered that the phone was recording them then and grabbed it, stopping the recording. With great care, he went about cleaning her up with a warm cloth. He ran it all over her body, removing the excess oil, then between her legs with the utmost gentleness. He wrapped her in the blanket and bundled her into his arms, snuggling her close. She hummed happily, closing her eyes. After a while, she came back to reality and looked up at him.

“Can I see it?”

He grabbed his phone again and held it in front of them so they could both see, playing it. It couldn’t have been a better angle. All you could see of her was the slope of her waist, which looked quite fit arched like that thank God, and her round ass. The rest was all him. She watched his body roll sinfully, watched his abs clench, the muscles in his arms straining as he gripped her. Watched her ass jiggle when he spanked her. He had picked up the phone and filmed her from his point of view for a bit and it was quite the view. His dick was shiny as it pistoned in and out of her. The sounds they were making were insane. Everything about it was so hot. She could even see the facial expressions he was making; biting his lip, brows furrowed; head tipping back with his mouth open; looking down at her like he wanted to ruin her.

“Fuck,” she breathed, “That is SO sexy. If I hadn’t just come like five times, I would need to go again watching that.”

“Yeah, wow,” he agreed.

It caught him taking care of her at the end as well and she tilted her head to kiss his jaw. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

“I have an actual gift for you,” he said.

He made her move then and she got up when he did. They both got dressed and she settled on the couch as he disappeared into their room. He came back with a neatly wrapped package. He’d tied a rough string around it, a little blue flower - a real one - in the knot of the bow.

“Wow I don’t even want to open this, it's so beautiful,” she said, turning it in her hands to admire it.

“It’s not anything too crazy,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Whatever it is, I will love it,” she promised and felt completely confident that it was true.

Finally, she opened it. She carefully undid the bow and he tucked the flower into her hair, behind her ear. She smiled at him and then lifted a book out of the paper. It was a very cute recipe book. She opened it and inside of it were pages of handwritten recipes. There were recipes from her family, her parents and even her aunts and uncles and cousins, her friends, and his family too. All different handwriting, all recipes near and dear to those near and dear to her. His mom had put several traditional Korean recipes in and she felt so honored that she would share that with her. She looked up at Felix.

“Felix, this is really thoughtful. I really love it,” she said.

“Good,” he smiled, “and I’ll make the pages everyone wrote today into a little book for you, too. Just haven’t had time yet. Obviously,” he chuckled.

Valentine’s day was one that Daisy had always loved, regardless of her relationship status. She’d spent it with her friends before Josh and after him, too. The colors, the hearts, the little cards, the candy. Everything about it was so pleasing to her and she never had a problem celebrating it. Last year, she had hand-written a page-long letter to each of her best friends (which had been a lot of letters, including all of the boys) gushing about how much she loved them. This year, she was thrilled to have a Felix to celebrate with. It fell on a Saturday this year, which meant they had the entire day and night.

They spent the day finalizing the move. They listened to love songs and stopped to kiss a lot, but they managed to get all of Felix’s things into the room and settled; mingling with hers. It was easier than she’d expected; he even fit into her room like a puzzle piece. They’d had the boys come and help take the bed out of his room to hold at Chris’ in his office for when people needed to crash there until Daisy and Feilx had to move out, then turned his desk into a writing nook for her. Half of the room was shelves of books and her writing and art things. The other half was a very impressive gaming set up.

After that was done, they took turns changing. Daisy wore her favorite white sweater with the pearl clasps on the high neck and subtle peplum with the maroon trousers she’d worn to the club that fateful night and a pair of light pink heels. She hid in the office as he went into their room to change as well. She waited excitedly, looking forward to seeing his reaction to her pants. She felt quite cute. But, of course, it was him that blew her out of the water when he was ready. She stepped out and was promptly blinded by him in jeans and a pink top with delicate gold chains around his neck. He also sported a pink fur coat and was wearing blue contacts.

“Oh my GOD,” she said, putting a hand to her forehead and staggering backward into the doorframe, which she clutched to support herself. He laughed but she shook her head, “I am not kidding!”

“Sweetheart, stand up. And give us a little turn,” he grinned. She managed it and he watched her appreciatively. “Gorgeous,” he approved. He went to her and ran his hands down her hips, “Do you know what I thought when I first saw you in these at the club?”

“What?” she asked, dazzled by his beauty but trying to listen.

“That you should’ve come with a warning,” he chuckled darkly, “And now you’re all mine and I still can’t handle these. And that pretty sweater with your bows on your shoes. You look so innocent, sweetheart. But I know you’re not. And I love it.”

“If you want to leave the house, I’m going to need you to stop talking,” she breathed, staring up at him.

He ran his eyes down her in a way that made her whole body flush then smirked when he looked at her face again. “Alright I’ll behave.”

It was a simple day; nothing too fancy. They went around town and popped into shops and walked around, just dallying and enjoying each other’s company. When it got late enough, they went to one of their favorite bougie restaurants for a romantic dinner. The lighting was low, candles on the tables, and they started with their favorite smoked sezerac. They tried every themed drink on the menu and ate some truly artful food. Afterwards, Daisy had bought them tickets to a whiskey tasting at a prestigious distillery. It was delicious and by the time they were done, they were feeling toasty and very much in love.

“One more!” Daisy cried, “We have to go in here, even though we’re old now,” she pointed to the bar across the street where she used to go for trivia and dancing when she was in her first years here.

“We’re not old,” Felix argued and ran with her across the street, holding her hand.

They went in and ordered a shot, then took to the dance floor. It was fun in the way that she could remember good times here but know she was past them and even happier now. She felt that she didn’t fully belong anymore but that was ok because what she had was even better. They danced for a few songs, Felix close behind her. His hands were all over her, splaying on her tummy, caressing her hips, pulling her back against him.

“Fuck, I can’t wait anymore,” he said in her ear, “Come here.”

She could barely hear him but let him tug her off the dance floor toward the bathrooms. They managed to slip into an open one. He yanked her inside then closed the door, immediately pressing her back against it. His lips captured hers as his fingers twisted the lock. She moaned into his mouth; she loved when he was like this. His hands landed back on her body, running over her like he couldn’t touch enough of her. They slid down and gripped her ass with a tight squeeze then he hoisted her up, stepping in to pin her to the door between her legs. She could feel the bulge through their pants. This bathroom was absolutely not hygienic but she didn’t care at all. He tasted like whiskey and his cologne smelled so good; he was surrounding her, taking over every sense. He rolled his hips against hers, mashing her messily against the door as they made out, his hands on her bum and hers running over the fur of his jacket and in his hair.

“Fuck me, please,” she begged, tilting her head back as he went for her neck with those damned lips. He grazed her skin with his teeth and her eyes rolled back. She shoved her hands between them and yanked desperately on the button of his jeans.

“I wanted to do this to you so long ago,” he said against her skin, “Those pants. God I wanted to take you that night right on the dance floor. Would’ve fucked you right next to everyone sleeping if you’d asked.”

“Holy fuck,” she groaned, struggling with the zipper now.

He had to put her down so she could take her pants off. They were left dangling from one ankle, one shoe on the ground as he picked her up again. His pants were shoved down just enough. He pushed right into her, pinning her to the door with his hips again and burying himself inside. They both moaned.

“That’s right, let them hear you,” he breathed into her ear. She quivered. “I love showing you off. Do you have any idea how many guys look at you? You fucking don’t at all and it’s so hot.”

“W-what?” she gasped, clutching him as he thrust into her.

“Everyone is so jealous of me; you have no idea. The way men stare at you everywhere we go and you only have eyes for me. I love it. I love that they know you’re mine.”

“Oh God,” she whimpered as he ground himself against her, giving her clit some delicious friction.

“Say my name, baby,” he panted, “let me be your god tonight.”

“Felix, fuck,” she moaned helpessly.

He drove into her hard then, fucking her against the door until it rattled. One of the posters fell off, another most certainly giving her a papercut on her buttcheek, but she did not care.

“Felix, Felix, Felix,” she moaned loudly, all too happy to grant his wish, “I love everyone knowing I’m yours too. And you’re mine.”

“All yours,” he agreed, running his tongue up her neck.

She made a noise of protest as he drew back, pulling out and putting her down. She had just enough time to slip her shoe back on before he was bending her over the sink. She clutched the sides of it, her hand slipping in some errant soap as he thrust back inside. Her mouth dropped open and she made eye contact with him in the mirror. He was biting his lip, eyes blazing behind his contacts as he stared her down. His brows pulled in at the feel of her and his pained expression made her clench around him.

“You feel even better than I imagined,” he moaned, his voice deep and dark, “and I imagined it so much. That first massage I gave you… You moaned and I was so hard the whole time. Had to get myself off in the shower.”

She gaped at him. How in the world had that never come out before?? She tilted her hips back a little, trying to take him deeper.

“I got off to you that day, too,” she admitted. And though they were in love and dating and had been sleeping together for months now, she still managed to blush, even as he was pounding into her.

“Oh fuck, did you really,” he groaned. His hands tightened on her hips and she cried out as he slammed into her. It was almost violent but she loved it; wanted him to bruise her insides.

“Yes and I’m going to come now too,” she gasped. Her hands scrabbled helplessly at the sink.

“Look at me,” he demanded breathlessly.

She lifted her eyes to his in the dirty mirror again and managed to keep them open as she came, mouth open in a long, loud moan. He smirked a little then he made a face that let her know he was about to lose it, too. She moved and he let go of her right away, even drunk and mad with lust. She dropped to her knees on the disgusting tile and he gasped. She opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue and his hand moved almost as if it was independent from his brain, wrapping around his cock and jerking it. He watched her as he came, moaning. It coated her tongue and shot down her throat. Some of it got on her face and neck, even a little in her hair. She loved it and so did he. He moaned her name as she licked him clean, swallowing. She almost took her finger to the rest to scoop up and suck off, but remembered at the last second how dirty her hands probably were.

He shuddered then slumped a bit, panting. After a moment, he helped her to her feet and back into her pants and she tucked him away and did him back up as well. He was grinning as he wiped his cum off her face with some paper towel from the dispenser by the sink. She caught his wrist as he went for her neck.

“Leave it,” she said, “I want to feel it.”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he groaned.

She just grinned and turned to wash her hands. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, sticking his in the sink, too. She tangled her fingers with his and they washed each other’s hands in a messy and convoluted fashion, laughing. They dried them then she grabbed his face and planted a big kiss on his mouth. He kissed her back, pulling her close. Someone pounded on the door.

“I know you’re done so get the fuck out already!”

Daisy pulled back with an ‘oops’ face and Felix just laughed.

He laced his fingers through hers and unlocked the door. They walked calmly out and past the little line of people, not sorry in the least. When they got home, they drank some water and cuddled in bed. On the verge of sleep, Daisy sighed happily.

The rest of the trip passed far too quickly. They spent New Year’s Eve with his family and it was one of the most fun New Year’s Eves Daisy had experienced. She’d spent several with Josh’s family and she’d always felt lonely, if not worse. She was already tearing up when they went to say goodbye at the airport, but watching Felix hug his mom so tightly and cry made it impossible to keep it in. Everyone else ended up getting teary too, which made them all laugh. His sisters promised that they would plan a trip to visit them in the states as soon as they could, and Daisy and Felix were off again on another long flight. When they arrived home, Chris was there to pick them up and Daisy was thankful she didn’t have to drive. They’d told him all about the trip, including every little detail, on the way home. Classes started again a few days later and their jet lag was still in full force, making it a rough start to a new semester but they powered through.

That is, until one day when Felix woke up with a sniffle. By the end of the day, he was exhausted and went to bed early. By the time he woke up, he was full-on sick with the flu. He tried to insist that he stay in his own room, as they hadn’t had a chance yet to make the full move to making her room their room yet, but she was not having it. He was too weak to argue with her, so she tucked him in tight with several blankets while he slept, snoring slightly and holding the rabbit. Even with crusty eyes and a runny nose he was beautiful. She went to her classes then to the on-campus drug store. A run to the store rounded off her errands, then she got home and got to work.

She emailed his professors and TAs to get his homework and offered to pick it up if it was anything they couldn’t send digitally. She made him the special soup her mom made her when she was sick growing up. She lined the nightstand with the medicines and tissues she’d bought at the drug store, including a little humidifier that let off gentle rainbow light. When the soup was ready, she made him some tea and carried it into the bedroom. She set it down on the nightstand and gently pressed her hand to his forehead. Still hot. Then, she rubbed his arm softly to wake him. When he stirred, he groaned. He opened his eyes and started to sit up, then had a coughing fit. She patted his back.

“I really don’t want you to see me like this,” he croaked, embarrassed.

“What, like a human?” she teased, helping him sit up. His hair was sticking up all crazy and he lifted a hand to it, grimaced, then pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up and yanked on the strings until only his eyes, nose, and mouth were visible. She had to laugh.

“I don’t remember the last time I showered or brushed my teeth,” he said.

“I don’t care,” she replied, “I just want you to eat something for me, ok? If you’re feeling up to it after, I’ll run you a bath but only if it’ll make you feel better and not because I think you’re gross. The only gross thing is how cute I find you.”

He scoffed, but his mouth was curling up. He leaned over a bit, peeking past her. “What do you have?” he asked.

“Some soup and some tea. Which do you want first?”

“Tea, please,” he said, then coughed again.

She handed him the tea, then the soup; alternating whenever he was ready. He managed to get half of each down then gave up with a sigh that turned into more coughing. He pouted and she frowned sympathetically.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” she said.

“Do you think you could run that bath?” he asked meekly.

“Of course,” she agreed, happy to be of any use to him at all in his time of need.

She put the soothing eucalyptus bubble bath she’d gotten earlier in the hot water and adjusted the little neck pillow she’d found for in the bath. She helped him out of bed and into the bathroom. He stood there, pitiful, and let her undress him. She kissed at his skin playfully as it was revealed and he giggled, pulling his arms up to shield himself. It was true that he did not smell very nice, but she could not have minded less. Daisy was pretty sure she’d let him puke right into her hands or wipe his butt if she had to. She held his hands as he climbed carefully into the tub and lowered himself into the water. It made her feel motherly and she had a flash of a fantasy of helping a very fluffy, very blonde little boy into the tub just like this in the future. It made her feel warm. He made a deep rumbling noise as he settled into the hot water and that made her feel warm in a different way.

He inhaled the steam deeply and rested back, eyes closed. For a while, they sat in silence; her on the tile floor on the outside of the tub, arms folded on the rim and chin propped there, close and ready if he needed her. Eventually, he peeked open an eye and smiled at her. She smiled back; she’d been watching him to make sure he didn’t fall asleep and sink into the water and also because she never got tired of watching him. He sat up and let her wash his hair. She took her time, giving him her best head massage and scratching lightly with her nails on occasion.

“That feels so good, sweetheart,” he sighed, “You take such good care of me. Thank you.”

“I love taking care of you,” she said, cupping her hand over his forehead so the water flowing from the cup she was using to rinse his hair out wouldn’t get in his eyes.

“Will you sing to me?” he asked.

Her stomach flipped nervously. There was no music, no buffering noise. It would be her voice alone. But how could she resist him? It was fine if she wasn’t as good as him, she told herself. It was fine if she wasn’t perfect. “Sure,” she agreed, wetting her lips.

Glad she was at least behind him, she started singing; a slow and romantic song that wasn’t too crazy. It was a duet, but she just sang both parts. She continued to massage his scalp as she did, needing to do something with her hands. When she finished, she trailed off, letting the last note echo into silence again around the bathroom.

“Thank you,” Felix whispered.

“Anytime,” she murmured and kissed a freckle on his ear. “Alright, you, let’s get you back to bed,” she said, helping him up and out.

She rinsed him of the bubbles and dried him off, wrapping him in her fluffy robe and toweling his hair best she could. She could tell he really liked being taken care of like this, though he didn’t want to admit it. He ended up in a fresh pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, tucked back in with his bunny. He asked her to stay and she climbed in with him, holding him until he fell asleep. When he was deep enough into it, she pulled away carefully and opened her laptop to get some homework done.

It took him a week to start feeling better. He was back on his feet; back to class and work and his routine, but still a little slow for a few days, then he was fine. Daisy waited to get sick, absolutely sure that she would; she’d accepted it. But she never caught it. She thanked her lucky stars and they went about life.

☀☀☀

A few weeks after that, Daisy got her period and it was a bad one. She felt huge; bloated and gross and breaking out. She wanted to hide and eat an insane amount of chocolate and not talk to anyone. She felt irritated by the smallest things and also very sad. It was times like this that she missed being single. Living with Felix was so lovely but when she was feeling down, she had nowhere to hide from him. She got home from class that day and sat in her car for a long while, trying to work up the energy to go inside and act like everything was ok. Finally, with a deep breath, she figured this was as good as it was going to get, and went in.

Felix was home already and he greeted her with a smile. She smiled back and asked him about his day. When he asked about hers in return, she couldn’t help the frustration from leaking into her voice or the fact that nearly everything was a complaint. It made her feel bad for being negative, which only made her want to hide more.

“Wow everyone’s just being a dick today, huh?” he said, immediately taking her side.

“Yeah,” she pouted, gratefully accepting the grace he was giving her.

“Hey, a few of the guys were talking about maybe coming over tonight for dinner and to hang out. Does that sound good?” he asked.

It was about 0.0001% of the time that Daisy did not want to see her friends and today was that time. She loved them so much but the thought of dealing with their chaos and - God forbid - their teasing made her want to jump out of the window. Her anger flared up, unbidden and unreasonable. Felix watched it play out on her face, though she fought hard to conceal it. The bad thing about her being so agreeable and open most of the time was that when she wasn’t, it was glaringly obvious.

“We don’t have to,” Felix said when she hesitated, “Or, if you want, I can go over to them and you can have some alone time?”

Though moments ago, she was wishing for this very outcome, the second he offered it as an option, her hormones swung violently the other way. He doesn’t want to be around you, the voice said, you’re acting crazy. The thought of sitting alone at home was comforting in her car, but now it morphed into feeling like it would be the loneliest night she’d ever have. But she couldn’t say no to him. He probably wanted to leave. There was zero chance she was going to force him to stay with her, no matter how desperately she wanted him to.

“Sure!” she said brightly, inwardly cringing at how loud it came out, “I’m going to take a shower.”

She disappeared into the bathroom and relaxed, letting her shoulders and her smile drop. She undressed and looked in the mirror, making a sound of disgust, then climbed into the shower where she promptly broke down into tears. She took a very long time, letting herself cry out and then avoided looking in the mirror when she got out, knowing her eyes would be all puffy. At least Felix would be gone by now and wouldn’t see it. Hopefully by the time he came home, she’d be asleep and tomorrow she could rally.

But when she stepped out of the bathroom, she heard something in the kitchen. And she smelled…chocolate? She crept over to the doorway to peek out and saw him setting a pan on the stove. She cursed to herself then got dressed, checking herself in the mirror now. Yup, she looked like she’d cried. Great. She opened the bedroom window and shoved her face toward the cold air, hoping it would bring some of the puffiness down. She really felt like an insane person.

“Whaaat are you doing?” Felix’s voice came lightly from the doorway.

She jumped then turned around, “What? Nothing, sorry,” she said, turning back to close the window guiltily.

“It’s ok,” he replied and came into the room. He was looking at her too closely. She wanted to hide.

“When are you going?” she asked, trying to put things back to normal.

“I’m not,” he said simply.

“Why?” she breathed.

“I want to be here with you,” he said. Her face crumpled and he pulled her into one of his golden hugs, rocking her gently. He held her for a long time then let her step back.

“I’m not very good company right now,” she said, looking down.

“Hey,” he gently tilted her chin up, “I love you just as you are. I made brownies and I have a heating pad plugged in next to the couch. We can turn off all the lights and watch some movies. Any movies you want.”

“It’s that obvious I’m on my period, huh?” she pouted and he chuckled, kissing her forehead.

“I just know it’s time.”

“Ok creepy,” she joked.

“Hey I’ve lived with you for three months now, I know what’s what,” he laughed, “But I do pay special attention to you. I can tell when you’re not feeling like yourself and I know you don’t want anyone to see it and I understand but if it were me, what would you say?”

“That I didn’t care if you weren’t happy all the time and I loved you even when you’re down,” she muttered, “That I want you to show me those parts of yourself.”

“Is it so crazy to think that I feel the same about you?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked into her eyes.

“Yes,” she admitted quietly. Pain flashed in his eyes and her face crumpled again.

“No, no, no,” he tutted, caressing her cheek, “Don’t you dare. You’re perfect to me. I just hate that someone hurt you so badly that you think you don’t deserve love.”

“I think I’m broken,” she whispered, her voice giving its own pathetic break.

“I think you have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And that someone somehow managed to be so cruel that even it couldn’t cushion the blow and now it’s not as trusting. And that’s ok. I’m glad your big heart is protecting you. It means that deep inside, you know you’re worth saving. Don’t you think?” He said, working his fingers through her wet hair as he spoke.

“That’s really wise,” she said thickly then swallowed the lump in her throat, “Maybe I should pay you instead of my therapist.”

He laughed and tugged her into another hug. Her face squished against his chest and he stroked her hair, “You make it easy to be so caring, sweetheart. That’s all you.”

She breathed him in, staring at the wall as he held her, and let his words sink in. She let them pass by her first instinct to argue, then her tendency to be humble and self-defacing even when she didn’t think she should. She let them pellet that voice like rain, soaking it enough to drown it out , at least for now. She let them float through what felt like a chasm of empty space inside of her, drifting past the memories of Josh that proved otherwise, until they landed on her heart. And then she let them soak in. Her heart sucked them up like dry ground with the first spring rain, greedy. Her chest loosened.

“I love you,” Felix murmured into her hair, his lips brushing the damp strands, “I’ll love you until you believe it beyond a shadow of doubt and after that, too.”

“Jesus,” she gave a watery chuckle, “I think I might actually melt into a big puddle.”

“Then I will put you in a jar and carry you with me wherever I go. And yes, I would still love you if you were a puddle. Or a worm,” he pulls back to grin down at her. It makes her laugh. She pulls him in for a kiss and he lets her squish her lips against his like she likes to do until they’re giggling.

It was a halter neck with a keyhole cut out to show a classy amount of cleavage and fit her snugly to her knees where it gave a gentle flair. It was black but the pattern on it was rose gold and pure glitter, enough that there was more glitter than black. She swept her hair up into the nicest updo she could, did her makeup, and was putting in her last earring when someone knocked.

“Come in,” she called.

Olivia stepped inside with a smile which widened when she saw her.

“Wow you look really beautiful,” she said and Daisy smiled.

“Thank you so much! Are you my escort down the stairs?” she asked.

“Of course,” Olivia laughed, “Felix wanted to have his Beauty and the Beast moment so he’s waiting at the bottom. He’s ready when you are.”

Daisy beamed and pulled on her elbow-length black gloves and grabbed her clutch, then took Olivia’s arm and let her help her wobble down the steps in her heels. Not exactly Disney worthy but this was real life, so it was the best she could do. She only made it a few stairs down anyway before she stopped, staring at Felix who was staring at her too.

“Wow,” they both said at the same time. His family laughed, but they were in their own world.

He looked impossibly gorgeous. There wasn’t a word in the English language that could properly describe how good he looked in his classic black and white suit. Ever fashionable, he had added flair with some jewelry, this time rose gold instead of his usual silver. His hair was slicked back but left long and he was just plain devastating. Finally, she made herself move again and finished her descent. Olivia handed her over to Felix, who stepped to the bottom step and held his hand out, just like a prince. She took it and it was warm and solid and everything. Felix had ordered a slightly fancy Uber and it took them to the opera house, where a very kind couple took their picture on the steps. He led her inside and she marveled at it.

“Wow this is amazing. I love the theater so much,” she said, face tilted up to the ceiling.

“I know,” he smiled, eyes glued to her. She lowered her gaze to meet his and grinned.

He took her to get a glass of wine and they leafed through their programs. Then they were ushered to their seats. Daisy gasped when she saw them.

“We could’ve gotten closer but I figured you’d want this experience more than that. Was that the right decision?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It was,” she nodded, still unable to close her mouth. For there they stood, in their own private box. Soft velvet seating beckoned and the balcony looked over the opulent room. She didn’t run out of things to look at until the lights dimmed. She picked up her little binoculars that they provided with a tiny squeal she just could not contain and Felix laughed. “I feel like Anastasia,” she said excitedly.

The performance was world-class. Daisy was crying by the end and didn’t even bother to hide it. Felix only wiped her tears gently so she didn’t get makeup on her gloves. He was breathtaking in the soft light from the sconces, the orchestra still playing the outro. It was the moment before real life resumed again and she wanted to live inside of it forever, just like this.

“You ok?” Felix asked with a little smile, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just can’t believe how much I love you,” she murmured back, everything hushed and hazy in the interstice, “Or how beautiful you are.”

She watched in real time as his cheeks flushed and his smile grew, crinkling those gorgeous eyes. “I love you too, my precious girl.”

He pulled her in for another romantic kiss, one that made her feel like they should be on that stage with the full orchestra going. Then the lights came on. He offered his arm and walked with her out of the box. She gave it one last look, memorizing every detail possible. They stopped by the bathrooms and of course she had to wait in line. He was patiently waiting for her when she came out.

“Pulchritudinous,” she said and he looked at her in confusion.

“Uhhh bless you?” he said, making her laugh.

“It’s a fancier way of saying beautiful,” she informed him, “That word was too mundane to describe you so I took time in line to look up a better one. Pulchritudinous.”

“You are such a nerd,” Felix laughed, “It’s hot.”

“Ohh should I read to you from my thesaurus when we get back home? I can wear glasses and a cardigan and nothing else. Just naked underneath. Nude. Bare. Exposed,” she whispered in his ear.

“Stop that,” he said quietly, eyes darting around them, “You’re giving me a boner.”

“Would you like some help with that? Aid? Assistance? A hand, if you will?”

He made a pained face, blowing a big breath out that puffed his cheeks and she laughed, finally relenting.

“Alright, alright, I’m done. For now,” she added mischievously.

“Well I’m not,” Felix grinned.

“What?? What does that mean?” Daisy’s mouth popped open into an ‘o’ and she stared at him as he just shrugged and led her out of the opera house.

She narrowed her eyes at him but he refused to look at her, a smile he couldn’t seem to contain inching up his face. Every time he suppressed it, it grew right back, and she had to laugh. Whatever was going on, he was awfully proud of himself for it. He guided her up the steps to a very fancy looking hotel a few blocks away. There was even a doorman. The lobby looked like movies have definitely been filmed in it and her heels clicked on the marble flooring as they were taken to an intimate French restaurant. Their table was outside, just enough room for two, with a bottle of wine already waiting on the table for them, beside a stunning red rose and a candle. Felix thanked the maitre d’ and pulled her chair out for her. The city glittered around them, the lights reflecting and refracting off the water of the harbor. When he settled in beside her, he smiled and reached for her hand.

“I know what you’re going to say. But don’t, ok? It’s not too much, I promise. I wanted to.”

She bit her lip to stop those exact words from coming out and nodded, forcing herself to swallow them. The only thing stronger than her urge to insist she help pay for this was her love and respect for Felix, whose wishes she would honor. Instead, she folded her hands on her lap and sat back - a little rigidly, but still back - to let him pour her some wine. Soft, romantic music flowed from the speakers. Voices were hushed and the clink of glasses and cutlery were gentle. Slowly, she relaxed into it. It was a perfect place.

“Oh my God they have truffle pasta,” Daisy beamed while they looked over the menu.

“I know,” Felix smiled.

“It feels really good to be cared for by you,” Daisy told him matter-of-factly.

They ordered and it was one of the best truffle pastas she’d ever had in her life. The wine was really good too, making her feel expensive, a little floaty, and very romantic. They still had yet to run out of things to talk about, but the conversation revolved heavily around the performance at the opera house this time. They’d both enjoyed it very much. Dessert was a chocolate tart that was so good, they ordered a second piece and shared that too. When they were finished, they thanked their wonderful waiter and Felix surprised her again by leading her to the reception desk instead of back outside. He checked them in for their reservation, and they rode the clear elevator up to a high floor. The room was just as nice as Daisy expected from seeing the rest of the hotel and she was actually really excited to have some alone time with Felix after being around their families for so long.

“This is so unexpected,” Daisy remarked, wandering around the room and taking it all in.

“Mmm all the better to surprise you with, my dear,” Falix said, coming up behind her and giving her shoulders a little massage.

“I might have a surprise for you, too,” she said as she tilted her head, enjoying the sensation.

“What’s that?” he asked, kissing her shoulder.

“Unzip me,” she replied, looking over her shoulder.

His eyes lifted to hers briefly then zeroed in on the tiny zipper of her dress. He dragged it down slowly, then she stepped away and turned, pulling the heavy fabric away and letting it pool on the floor at her feet. Underneath, she wore a brand new piece of lingerie she’d sneakily bought before the break. She and Carrie had gone on a giddy shopping spree and egged each other on at the lingerie store. She was planning on being subtle about it tonight at his family home but she was glad that she didn’t have to be. Felix stared at her, taking in the black lace. It hugged her tightly, sitting high on her hips. It had a deep V neckline and a see-through and metallic floral pattern. It was all one piece but the back left a swath of skin bare between the thong and the back. She turned slowly to let him see the entire thing.

“You’re stunning,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

When his eyes met hers again, they were burning. He walked over to the wall that faced the city, slow and confident. The entirety of that wall was glass, floor to ceiling. He stood facing the window but turned his head to look at her again. He lifted a hand, beckoning her. She slipped out of her shoes and padded over to him, placing her hand in his. His movements stayed controlled, unhurried, as he pulled her into his arms. He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head to kiss her, then ran his hands down her lace-covered sides. Once she was feeling nice and dizzy, he stepped forward and pressed her to the glass. Despite the warm weather, the glass was cool against her heated skin and she gasped against his lips, her bum flattening against the pane. When he pulled back, he looked almost sinister in his lust; no trace of the sunshiney angel he was during the day.

“Turn around,” he said, his deep voice matching his demeanor.

Her heart pounded as she obeyed, twirling slowly to face the window as well.

“Hands up,” he said, sliding his hands down her arms then guiding her hands up to press flat against the window, making her back arch. “Be good and keep them there for me, won’t you?” he said, his voice purring, “I’ll know if you don’t.”

She swallowed and nodded. She was not prepared for this side of him. His hands ran back up her arms, making her shiver, then down her sides again, then they disappeared. She felt a tug in her hair and went to turn but he made a sharp “tsk” noise and she froze, keeping her hands still. They were fogging up the glass. Another tug, then a loosening. He was taking her hair down. A few pins worked expertly loose and the mass of it tumbled down her back, curly from being wound up. He stroked it, arranging it perfectly, then brushed it oh so gently over her shoulder. It tickled and she twitched a bit but didn’t dare move. One of his hands then made its way down her back, dragging along the thin material. It rode the slope of her spine, stopping at her tailbone, just shy of touching her ass. It felt grounding, possessive.

Another new sensation came as the shiny leather of his dress shoe tapped the inside of her foot. She stepped her foot out a bit. A tap-tap on the other side and she followed suit there as well. Now she was arched and spread out in front of him, trembling. His hand still sat on her lower back, keeping her still.

“God you are such a good girl,” he murmured. It didn’t even sound like dirty talk, it sounded like he truly meant it. And that just made it even more sexy. She bit her lip. “So good. So…exquisite. How can I resist showing you off?” he mused, sounding very much like he was talking to himself. “I can’t,” he said, his tone that of one accepting the inevitable, “There’s just nothing for it, darling.”

He was quiet then, removing his hand. She could hear the rustle of his clothing in the silence; hear him removing his jacket.

“Look at me, won’t you? But stay there,” he said. His voice was pure sin.

She turned her head to look over her shoulder to find him staring darkly at her. His jacket lay on the bed, his tie a heap beside it. His cufflinks were off, his belt open. He watched her watching him as he undid the buttons of his shirt. She swallowed dryly. Then, he gripped the end of his belt in one hand and gave it a good yank, the tendons in his forearm flexing. It slid through the loops with a whooshing noise then dangled from his hand. Her knees nearly buckled and she squirmed, nearly pulling her legs together to get some friction and maybe a little bit to hide from his predatory gaze, but she caught herself. His eyes sparkled as he watched her struggle. She tried to wet her lips but her mouth was dry. All the liquid in her body seemed to be concentrated in one place only; between her legs. With nothing but the thinnest lace to cover her, she could feel that it was very close to becoming redundant as a barrier.

He tossed the belt to join his jacket and tie, then slipped out of his shoes as he removed his shirt. Her eyes dropped to watch his muscles bunch and flex with the movement. When he popped the button of his trousers and dragged the zipper down impossibly slowly, she whimpered.

“Baby, you’re dripping,” he said, his voice nearly indiscernible it was so low in pitch.

Her legs were too wide to catch it but she looked down and sure enough, there was one droplet shining accusingly up at her from the floor of the bougie hotel room. She closed her eyes and drew in a steadying breath. She’d never been so turned on in her entire life.

“Face forward, darling,” he said and she did.

She heard him shuck off his pants, then it was quiet. Too quiet. For just a little too long. Just when she started to squirm again, she felt his touch. He cupped her from behind with one warm hand, rubbing along the lace. Her fingers made a tattle-tale squeak as they curled against the glass. He didn’t stop. He pressed three fingers to her clit and rubbed in circles, his other hand going back to her lower back to hold her steady. After some tortuous moments later, he slipped his hand under the soaking lace and swiped his fingers along her slit.

“Fuck. Look at that,” he said at last, lifting his hand in front of her so they could both see. His fingers shone in the lights from the surrounding buildings and the soft lamp behind them. He pulled them apart and her slick connected his fingers. He gave a low moan and put them into his mouth.

“Jesus Christ,” Daisy breathed at last, unable to stop it.

“Now, now, be good,” Felix tutted, but she heard the smirk in his voice.

She arched a little harder, trying to offer herself more fully to him; to signal wordlessly how much she needed him.

“Oh, I know, baby,” he said, kissing her shoulder again.

She tilted her head and he kissed up the side of her neck. His hand slid to her hip and gripped it. He gripped himself with his other hand and dragged the blunt head of his cock along the wet lace between her legs. It was somehow even sexier than bare skin and she whimpered again.

“I know, I know,” he said soothingly into her ear. She shuddered. “I just want to make sure you’re ready for me. Do you think you are?”

“Yes,” she gasped, her thighs shaking, “Fuck. Yes, please.”

“So polite,” he crooned.

His hand left her hip and she felt the slide of his fingers as he pulled the lace to the side, then the pressure of him pressing into her from behind. They hadn’t done it like this yet and it was more intense than usual. Her hands squeaked against the glass again as they moved a little bit but he let it slide. His hands returned to her hips and he gave them a little caress.

“Ready?” he asked, his voice genuinely caring.

She nodded vigorously and he gave a strained chuckle then yanked her back onto him. He was fully seated in that one motion and she keened loudly, back arching even more.

“Fuuuuck baby,” he moaned.

“Felix!” her voice was embarrassingly high-pitched.

He started to move then, dragging himself back out then pressing in again. Not too fast, not too slow, but certainly deep. She moaned. His hands slid up and cupped her breasts, caressing them. Then he pulled the lace there away too, baring her to the window.

“I don’t know if anyone is watching; but if they are, let them see what they’re missing,” he rumbled, “Let them see you’re all mine.”

“Yes, I’m yours,” she whined, letting her head fall back.

He stepped closer then, taking the weight of her head onto his shoulder. He pressed her against the window, her chest squishing against the cold glass. She moaned and her breath fanned in a cloud along the window by her mouth. His hands went to cover hers, pressing them flat again, firm but in a way that was possessive yet supportive. He drove into her from behind, harder. Her ass jiggled against him with his movements, her whole body pinned and completely helpless to do anything but take in the pleasure he was giving her. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The noise she made when she came would have haunted her if she was even aware, but she was lost to the bliss. He pressed his chest to her back and drove in deep, following her over the edge. As always, the feeling of his orgasm prolonged her own and when she finally came to, she was vaguely embarrassed to see that she was drooling on the window.

But Felix only cared about her. He stepped back, pulling out carefully, and drew her into his arms again. He turned her so she was facing him and used his thumb to wipe the corner of her mouth like he did with the chocolate. When he stuck his thumb in his mouth this time, she nearly fainted. He caught her and supported her since her legs were basically useless.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he said, scooping her up.

He carried her into the bathroom and set her gently on the ledge of the big jet-lined tub. He kept a hand on her knee, rubbing soothing circles as he drew a hot bath, using the clean-scented bubble bath the hotel provided to make it foamy. He stepped into the tub then carefully helped her in as well. He guided her to sit then sat behind her, pulling her back against his chest. He rocked her slightly, humming softly as he held her. She relaxed into him, closing her eyes. She felt strung out, like she’d taken a Xanax. She stared at the faucet, zoned out.

“You’re smiling. Does that mean you’re alright?” Felix asked, brushing her hair out of the way to look at her face.

“I think so,” she said, lifting a hand to touch her cheek. She didn’t even know she was smiling, “I feel like the bubbles,” she giggled.

“You feel safe, though?” he checks, “Healthy? Do you need some water?”

“I think I’m really great,” she said dreamily, “Just hold me, ok? Don’t ever let go.”

“Felix, it’s not funny!” Daisy hissed, but she was trying to keep it together too.

They were in the airport, getting ready to head to their gate for the flight to Australia, and Daisy was requiring more help than she expected.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he giggled, his arm going around her waist.

“Oh my God,” she giggled too, “Who let me do this??”

“You promised it was ok!” Felix said defensively.

Daisy was afraid of flying. She had always wanted to travel but barely had so far. The first few times had been surprisingly ok but one flight had bad turbulence the whole way and since then, she had gotten a Xanax prescription. She had taken it and drank before - even though she wasn’t supposed to - and it helped. So here she was again, making bad decisions and feeling extra loopy.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” she assured him, standing up straight, “Just hold my hand, ok? Let’s just get on there and sit down.”

“Ok,” he agreed, lacing their fingers together. He gave her hand a squeeze then they headed toward the gate.

Boarding went smoothly; though it was a bit of a blur to her. Next thing she knew, they were settled in some very nice, very spacious seats.

“Whoa how did this happen?” she asked, looking down and around her.

“I got us upgrades since it’s such a long flight,” he said, “Surprise!”

“When the fuck did we get ice cream?” she asked and they dissolved into laughter again. When an older man shot them an unamused look from down the aisle (because they were so fancy that was their closest neighbor apparently), she settled down.

“Sorry. This is amazing; thank you,” she smiled at Felix.

“Never be sorry for a perfectly placed movie quote,” he replied, “and you’re welcome.”

They went through the safety speech and when they started the take-off, Daisy barely moved before Felix was taking her hand again, letting her squeeze it.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured.

They leveled out without any issues and once the seatbelt sign went off, she finally relaxed. She had to sadly turn down the complimentary champagne, not wanting to get any more out of it. She snuggled up to Felix and they picked out a movie. Next thing Daisy knew, she was opening her eyes. She lifted her head from Felix’s shoulder to find him tipped back in his seat as well, eyes closed and breath even. She had to smile and watch him for a moment; he was so beautiful. Bare face with his hair pushed behind his ears, a backwards cap on his head. But she had to pee too much to admire him for too long, so she got up and got directions from the flight attendant to a bathroom that had no business being so nice on an airplane. She checked the time; she had managed to sleep for a good chunk of time; six hours. Only a little over fourteen to go.

She wandered around the first class area for a while, trying to stretch her legs. She ran into some other passengers doing the same and before she knew it, she was deep in conversation with a very random group of very interesting people. Her Xanax had mostly worn off and she felt steady now, so she agreed to join them for a drink at the little bar. They killed another two hours there together and her cheeks hurt from laughing when Felix found her. He came up behind her, placing a hand on her back. He was polite and unobtrusive, a comforting presence instead of a dark cloud reminding her she wasn’t allowed to have friends or fun without him, and the group welcomed him in.

“Oh this has to be Felix,” one of the old ladies she’d bonded with said.

“If it’s not, then I’ll eat your hat,” the other chimed in, “There is no way there are two men on this plane who look like that.”

“Hey, eat your own hat you biddy!” the first shrieked.

“Ladies, you may have my hat if it’ll cease the crossfire,” Felix chimed in with a grin. Daisy bit her lip on a smirk; he knew exactly the effect he would have on them when he spoke. Sure enough, they gasped.

“My my, that voice!” the first woman put a hand to her heart.

“Your accent sounds like home, my boy. But I really must hear more, have a seat,” the second demanded, patting the seat as she got up to move over one. He took her elbow like a gentleman and she gasped again, “Alice are you seeing this? I think we might have died in that cab like we originally thought.”

“Ah but are we in heaven or hell?” Alice teased, wagging a finger at Felix, who laughed. “Heaven it is, look at that smile,” she concluded.

Felix blushed and scurried back to Daisy’s side, settling into the seat. He shot her a smile.

“How are you doing?” he asked, “Sorry I fell asleep; you could’ve woken me up.”

“I know,” she said, “But I’m fine, thank you. I didn’t wake up that long ago myself and Alice and Stella have been more than hospitable in your absence. I might have to run away with them, you know.”

“That’s my girl!” Stella raised her martini glass, “Don’t let any man hold you back, not even one this handsome.”

“He only helps me forward,” Daisy smiled at Felix, whose eyes reflected her love right back.

“Well isn’t that the sweetest thing I have ever seen,” Alice said, “and I have twelve grandkids!”

This shocked Felix, just like it had Daisy, and launched them all into another big discussion. After a while, the ladies excused themselves and wished Felix and Daisy a lifetime of happiness and insisted they be invited to their wedding, which sent them off in a fit of laughter as both Daisy and Felix turned bright red. Felix led Daisy back to their seats and they settled in for meal service. Afterward, Felix put his new headphones on, knitting and all, and listened to some music white Daisy popped her airpods in too so she could watch some tutorials on her phone and practice her drawing on the pad she’d brought. They played some games, they actually watched a movie, they made up life stories for people in their line of sight. They were mindlessly scrolling social media when Felix leaned over. Daisy was saving a recipe to one of her Pinterest boards.

“Psst what was that?” he whispered.

“What was what?” she asked.

“Mmmm… that,” she angled her screen so he could navigate with his finger, then he pointed to her wedding board.

“Oh my God,” she laughed,” I haven’t looked at that in so long I bet I’d be embarrassed by everything in it.”

“Can I see?” he asked, looking at her with such a sweet and hopeful expression she knew she wouldn’t refuse.

“Ok but don’t judge me, ok?” she said uncertainly. She handed her phone over and looked over his shoulder as he tapped into the board and started to inspect.

“This is very organized,” he remarked.

“Of course; I am studying event management, you know,” she chuckled.

“You actually didn’t date yourself too bad, here,” he said, “A lot of this is pretty classic and timeless.”

“Have you ever dreamt about your wedding?” she asked curiously.

“Yes,” he smiled, “Not in such detail as I’m sure you have but probably more than the average guy.”

“What do you like?” she had to know.

They had a long and very fun discussion then about their dream weddings. They agreed on a lot and each bought up points that the other hadn’t ever thought of. It spiraled into what the craziest possible version of their dream wedding would be with no limitations, which had them looking at a profile she followed on Instagram of a bakery that made cakes bigger than people for weddings for billionaires.

“That is insane!” Felix’s eyes bugged out, “I shudder to think of how much this cake alone cost. Imagine having to transport that thing.”

“Imagine having to cut it!” Daisy agreed, “But also like imagine not only having that skill but being paid that much to do something so cool and fun.”

“That really is something,” Felix agreed. He nudged her arm with his, “I like your cakes better.”

“Suck up,” she teased with a smile.

“Are you suuuure I can’t try your signature brownies?” he pouted.

“A - stop making that face at me or else, and B - you are allergic to peanuts so yes I am sure,” she said, looking back down at the phone.

“Boo,” he jeered.

“Blame that otherwise perfect body of yours, not me,” she shrugged.

The rest of the flight passed just fine, though the last 3 hours felt like torture. Even in first class with Felix and knowing she was so privileged to be on this plane, she was going stir crazy by the end. When they landed, she popped up, ready to go. He followed her a little slower, still a bit sleepy from the nap they took toward the end. They got their bags then were met by his family as soon as they exited into the terminal. Daisy found herself swept into several hugs, everyone talking at once, and she felt her body relax right into his mom’s hug. Nothing beat a mom hug. She could see where Felix got his talent for embracing from.

Felix and his dad insisted on carrying all of the bags and Daisy was bombarded by Rachael and Olivia. She answered all of their questions about America and then asked them all of her questions about Australia. They laughed their way outside into the sun and Daisy stopped in her tracks as it hit her.

“Oh my,” she said, closing her eyes and turning her face up, “That feels amazing wow.”

“Let’s get you some sunscreen before you enjoy it too much,” Felix giggled, taking her hand and pulling her with him.

They piled into the car and off they went. They took the pair right home first and let them freshen up, then it was time for lunch at Felix’s favorite local restaurant. After that, Daisy got a private tour of Felix’s neighborhood and old haunts from Felix himself. She loved seeing these places, being able to picture the stories he was telling her. The rest of the night was relaxing; Felix and his dad grilled and Daisy helped his mom and sisters prepare the rest of the food in the kitchen. She was learning so much and she absolutely loved it. When the time came for bed, Felix’s dad pulled him in for a hug.

“You treat that young lady with respect, now,” he said and Daisy giggled as Felix’s ears turned red.

“Daaaad,” Felix said, looking horrified.

“Your son is the most perfect gentleman,” she assured him as he hugged her too.

They did snuggle, but that was the extent. Even after sleeping on the plane, they were tired. They had limited time to get used to this time zone so they were trying very hard to get on schedule right away. The next morning, the family packed some coolers and headed to the beach. The ocean was breathtaking. Daisy didn’t want to go in, given her intense fear of sharks, but watched from the safety of the sand as Felix and his sisters surfed. God, he was handsome. And so in his element here. The sun and salt in his blond hair looked right at home and though she was applying sunscreen very often, he was already getting a golden glow about him. He came over and shook his wet hair at her, making her gasp.

“Whoa that’s cold!”

He giggled and convinced her to go for a walk in the surf with him. They went up to their ankles and the cool water soothed her hot skin from the burning sand, the sun warm on her body. He held her hand loosely as they took in the views and looked for cool rocks, shells, and sea glass. After a while, he insisted they stop so he could take some pictures of her.

“You look so beautiful in your sundress, you know how much I love those,” he said, waving his hand to guide her where he wanted. He took several pictures, especially when he made her laugh, then they took a bunch together. They pulled back from kissing for one and he looked down, swiping quickly through the photos.

“My girl in my hometown,” he said fondly, making her melt.

“I love it here,” she said honestly.

“I love you,” he said simply.

“I love you too, sunshine,” she pulled him in for another kiss.

They got ice cream and went to the boardwalk. He tried very hard to win her a stuffed animal and no matter how many times she promised him that she knew the games were rigged and it was ok, he didn’t give up. Even when Rachael won a decently sized plushie and gave it to Daisy, he kept trying. Finally, he got her a little keychain.

“I’ll cherish it forever,” she assured him.

His sisters managed to convince them to go on a roller coaster and Daisy fought back her nerves. She’d been on them before and knew she liked them but it did make her nervous to get on one every time. They took off and she screamed but managed to throw her hands in the air. When she looked over at Felix, he was passed out. She couldn’t help but laugh, but she reached over to put a hand on his chest for extra stability. When the ride came to an end, he woke up in a haze and she helped him off.

The next few weeks flew by, as they always did around the holidays. Daisy stayed happier than she’d ever been; she was so in love with Felix and they were deeply in their honeymoon phase. She honestly wasn’t sure they would ever get out of it, actually. They hosted a Christmas party for the friend group, getting tipsy off of punch and eggnog and eating the last of the cookies. Presents were exchanged, laughs were had, faces ached from smiling. Classes were decently easy since the professors were also ready for the holiday break. Once again, Felix and Daisy took a road trip to spend Christmas Eve with her dad’s side and Christmas day with her mom’s, like she had her whole life - with the exception of a few years with Josh. He’d been completely unwilling to compromise and she was too anxiously attached to him to go to her own family’s celebrations without him when he’d basically said ‘you can come with me to mine or go alone to yours.’ She’d gone to his; a choice she really regretted now. She’d missed the last good years of some of her grandparents’ lives and she hadn’t even known until it was too late.

Of course Felix knew this by now and of course he was the exact opposite. And it wasn’t for show or because of Josh; it was just who he was. Not only would he make sure that he was putting her first or at least equally to himself, but he actively enjoyed going with her. The drives were fun, full of singing and dancing and talking. Sometimes, at night, they would just get in the car and drive around the back roads of their college town for fun. Daisy’s family adored Felix by now and she was far too pleased that they were just as excited to see him as they were her. He talked cooking with her mom, Tik Tok with her sister, sports with her cousins. He handled her dad well, played games with her aunts, uncles, and cousins, and made sure her two aunts who always did the cleaning got a break from dishes. They’d even signed up to volunteer while they were in her hometown; her mom, Felix, and her spent the day at a soup kitchen then went around and gave out care packages to the homeless people they passed on the street. They even did a little caroling (well, she and Felix did. Her mom watched). If Daisy hadn’t already been in love with Felix, she would be hopeless after all of this.

They had decided to exchange their own gifts when they got home, where they could be alone. Once they’d unpacked and gotten comfy (she was in one of his sweatshirts and he in one of her cute pajama sets), they’d settled beside the packages under the tree. She fidgeted nervously as he began to unwrap her first gift. She put a lot of work into it and really hoped he liked it. Another thing Josh had ruined for her; she’d spent so much time and money on the first Christmas present she’d gotten him and he’d been less than enthusiastic. Had even called it selfish. She knew Felix would never, but it was so important to her that he felt seen and loved. He carefully extracted the photobook, tilting his head a little as he regarded it with a small smile. He opened it and blinked. Flipped a page. Another. Hesitated. Another. Then he went back to the beginning and really looked. She knew he’d been expecting photos of them both when he opened it, but it was all him. Every photo of him had a hand-written note below or beside it with her thoughts and feelings about him in the moment of the photo. Some were poems, some just descriptive words. Some were full-on paragraphs gushing about his multitude of positive qualities. Many of them had a song recommendation as well. She watched him in silence as he read, his fingers spread out on the next page like he was anchoring himself. After a few pages, he let out a shaky breath and looked up at her. A few teardrops clung to his bottom lashes.

“Daisy, this is… it’s the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me,” he said.

“You’re always everyone’s sunshine, sunshine,” she smiled gently, “I wanted you to feel your own warmth too. You don’t see how special you are; you’re always taking care of others. I hope this helps.”

He pulled her into a close hug, nearly crushing her with his strong arms, but she liked it. She squeezed him back as hard as she could in return.

“Thank you so much,” he whispered.

He opened the rest then; a pair of high quality headphones with icy blue knitted covers he could put on to warm his ears and have a cozy vibe while it was still winter, a basket full of snacks she’d ordered online that were from Australia, and a few handmade coupons for silly things like “I drive and you can sleep,” “I’ll do the dishes,” “one get out of a spooky movie free card,” along with a few she couldn’t help but put in like “road head,” and even one “anything sexual at all, at any time of your choosing, no matter what, once.” His eyes had gotten even bigger at that one and she’d laughed.

“Wow I love you so much,” he pulled her in for a kiss that made her feel how much he meant it, “I cannot thank you enough for these. I love them all. I feel bad I didn’t get you as much,” he said as he sat back down and handed her the first present.

“I love you so much,” she grinned then gently swatted his knee, “don’t feel bad, I mean it! If you didn’t get me anything but you, I’d be happy.”

“Aww so gross,” he teased, his nose doing that adorable little scrunch. She giggled and carefully tore the paper open.

Inside were two canvasses, both the same size. Each one had an absolutely breathtaking picture of the night sky on it.

“Wow,” she breathed, taking them in.

“Look on the back,” he whispered in a hint hint kind of way.

She flipped one over to see an inscription. It was his birth date, time, and place with a little blurb about his birth chart in comparison to hers. The other had her own information on it and another little blurb about their compatibility. At the bottom of each, in looping cursive that she knew to be his when he was writing very carefully, was her favorite quote from one of her favorite book series of all times, and it had to do with the stars. Half on his, the other half on hers. The perfect choice for each, too.

“Oh,” she said, running her fingers lightly over the quotes, “Wow I love it so much,” she said and looked up at him earnestly. The tips of his ears were a little pink but he looked proud, and he should be.

“We can hang them in our bedroom,” he said slyly.

“Ok!” she agreed happily, then she paused, “Wait a minute.”

He laughed, “Only if you want. But I don’t want to be apart from you at night. I was thinking maybe I could move into your room with you? And we could turn my room into a gaming room/library?”

“Felix!” she exclaimed, “I would love that!”

He grinned, “Me too, sweetheart. Ok. Next,” he handed her a very cute jar with a festive bow. Inside were colorful strips of paper, each one listing a compliment or reason that he loved her.

“Wow!!! Thank you,” she smiled, “This is so thoughtful. I’m going to look at these all the time.”

“One more,” he said, holding out an envelope.

“You said you didn’t get me that much, you liar,” she accused playfully, narrowing her eyes. But she couldn’t stop her smile and she didn’t hesitate to take the envelope. He laughed and shrugged. There was a twinkle in his eye as he watched her open it.

Two tickets to see Phantom of the Opera, her favorite musical, fell into her hand.

“Oh my God yay!!!” she bounced up and down, “Ahhhh!!!!” He laughed again.

“Look a little closer,” he suggested. She tipped her head and looked over the tickets. Her mouth dropped open.

“No,” she gasped.

“Yes,” he grinned.

“Felix!!! No way!” she said again.

“Yes!!!” he laughed, his smile so big.

“Feeeelix!” she tackled him in a big hug, knocking him over.

They fell in a fluffy pile, laughing and hugging. She kissed all over his face and he giggled.

“So you want to go then?” he asked teasingly.

“No,” she deadpanned.

“Ok good,” he tapped her nose with his finger.

The tickets were for the night before New Year’s Eve and at the Sydney Opera House.

“I got our flight tickets, too,” he said, holding her to his chest, “I can adjust them if you want but for now, we leave tomorrow and we’ll be there for five days.”

“That sounds perfect,” she beamed, brushing his hair out of his face, “But I’m going to have to insist that you let me help you pay for the plane tickets at least. This is way too much.”

“I knew you’d say that,” he countered, “My dad has a lot of frequent flyer miles he needs to use before the new year and he isn’t going anywhere. Plus we’re family friends with one of the managers at the opera house, so it was all a lot cheaper than you think. Maybe a little too cheap,” he mused, his eyes sliding to the side as he seemed to realize that just then.

“Excuse you,” she frowned, waiting for him to look at her again, “You are taking me to Australia and to see Phantom of the Opera on top of the several other incredibly thoughtful gifts you already gave me. Most people don’t get this treatment from their spouse for a big anniversary! Don’t you dare for one second think it’s not more than enough.”

He softened.

“Don’t make me get the photobook out,” she whispered threateningly, “I will make you read compliments about yourself out loud.”

He looked genuinely horrified and she laughed, leaning in. They melted into a warm kiss.

“Mmm you know what is nice about Australia?” he hummed against her lips.

“Hmm?” she responded, only 75% listening, as he was distracting her with that damn mouth of his.

“It’s,” he kissed her neck, “so,” he nibbled on her earlobe, “hot,” he breathed into her ear. “You’ll have to wear sundresses and bikinis.” His low voice, as always, had her shivering.

“Oh how terrible,” she breathed, “Guess you’ll be shirtless or in tank tops.”

“Guess so,” he smirked against her skin.

“Take me to our room,” she murmured.

He was more than pleased to do so. This time, she pushed his shoulders so he sat before her on the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair, pushing it back so she could see his face well.

“I’m feeling particularly needy,” he remarked.

“Is that so?” she quirked a brow.

“Will you talk to me?” he asked, slightly shyly.

“I’d do anything for you, sunshine,” she smiled softly. She leaned in and pressed soft kisses to his freckles, then once on his forehead. He took in a slow, deep breath. “I’m proud of you for asking for what you want,” she started, moving her lips to his ear, “I think it’s really sexy when you are confident in the fact that you deserve to get what you want.” He rolled his shoulders back.

“You make me feel so safe,” she continued, kissing at his neck. He tipped his head for her. “Safe enough to completely let go and follow my every urge.” Her hands started to undo the buttons of the pajamas, her lips trailing down his neck to the hollow of his throat. “You make me have so many urges,” she breathes, dragging her tongue up the column of his throat. He whimpered.

“I can’t believe I’m so lucky to be able to touch you like this,” she worked her way down the shirt until it was open completely, “I feel so good knowing I’m the only one who gets to see you so undone.” She pushes the shirt from his shoulders and down his arms, lightly dragging her nails along his skin as she did to make him shiver. He shrugged the shirt off and let it drop to the side. She ran her hands back up to his chest and gave a little push. He obeyed and laid back, cheeks pink but eyes rapt on her. She crawled over him and kissed along his collarbone.

“No one else gets to know the color your skin flushes when you feel wanted. The places you’re sensitive that no one else gets to touch,” she brushed her lips over a part of his abs that made him wiggle a little, letting out a breathless chuckle. “How absolutely delicious you taste,” she grabs the string of the PJ pants with her teeth and gives it a tug, undoing the little bow.

His head had been lifted to watch her but at that, he dropped his head back with a tortured groan. It doesn’t stay down for long, however, he can’t seem to look away. She looked up at him with a little smirk, “No one else gets to hear how low your voice gets when you’re about to come. What it sounds like to wring moans right out of you.”

“Fuck,” he breathed, staring at her helpessly.

She pulled the PJS off of his legs, tossing them to join the top on the bed next to him. He was naked underneath and achingly hard. “I get to know how gorgeous every,” she gripped the base of him and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on his shaft, “single,” kiss, “glorious,” she ran her tongue over his frenulum, “inch,” her tongue swirled over his head, “of you is.”

She couldn't talk much then, as she was occupying her mouth in another way, earning the flushes and moans she had mentioned. He only let her do this for a few minutes before he was reaching for her. She gave a little pout but he was insistent.

“Come sit on my face,” he said lowly, “Please.”

It’s the broken ‘please’ that got her, and she became pliable, letting him guide her over his shoulders. She was only in his sweatshirt and a pair of underwear, which he promptly pulled to the side, which was easy enough. He pulled her down onto him roughly and she gripped the headboard to steady herself with a moan. The sensation of his tongue on her skin was never ever going to get old. She tried to lift up a little, feeling like she was going to suffocate him, but his hands were like iron bands and he gave a quite ferocious growl, which had her freezing in place. One of his hands gave a little caress before he pressed his fingertips into the meat of her thigh again in a silent affirmation.

“Good God,” she moaned, head falling back, “Wow you feel so amazing. You make me feel so good, Felix.” He gripped her even tighter, his mouth and tongue working at her expertly. “I thought about this,” she continued, the words tumbling out with no effort, “at the club that night. Ohhh. You were dancing and you stuck your - fuck - tongue out and I’ve never wanted someone’s mouth on me so badly.

“At the tailgate after the beer funnel, your mouth was all wet and it took me a while to realize it but that got me tooooo,” she moaned, “Fuck it’s even better than I’d imagined.”

He moaned against her and she carded her fingers through his hair lovingly, her other hand tight on the railing. “God, baby, I want you so bad.”

“Come get it, then,” he let up on her enough to say.

Her eyes rolled back at his command and she worked her way down his body again. She didn’t care that his face was all wet and messy, she kissed him anyway. His hands went to her ass and gave a good squeeze then settled on her hips as she wrapped a hand around him, holding him steady so she could sink onto him.

Their moans mingled in their mouths as she pressed down onto his length, stretching open for him. When she was seated, he maneuvered them so he was sitting up against the headboard. She reached behind him to help, pulling a pillow between him and the cold wrought iron bars so his back would be supported and warm. Her breath stuttered as she felt each movement they both made deep inside her where they were connected. Once settled, she started to rock her hips, one hand wrapping around the back of his neck to pull his lips back to hers. His hands slid up around her waist to splay on her back, holding her close without limiting her movement.

“You feel so good. I’ve never felt anything like it,” she sighed into his mouth.

“So do you, love,” he panted.

The room was quieter then, filled with only their breath and the shifting of the bed interspersed with their moans. Both were quite vocal lovers, and each of them really appreciated that about the other. Felix pulled back from kissing her only to set his mouth on her breast instead, using one hand to stabilize the weight while his lips wrapped around her nipple. His other hand went to her hip and curled around it, gripping her bone through her soft flesh and guiding her back and forth roughly on his dick. It made him hit her in such a good way, so deep and such a pleasing motion, that she knew she wasn’t long for the world.

“You’re going to make me come if you keep do-ing that!” she gasped the last word, her breath hitching as he nudged against her just right, his tongue swirling around her nipple.

“Good,” he huffed against her skin, “You’ve told me how good I make you feel, now I want you to show me.”

She groaned, biting her lip as her head fell back. He resumed his actions with his sinful mouth, sucking gently. Her hips tilted as he shoved her back and she gripped the bars of the headboard so tightly her fingers went numb as she came. His hands tightened on her hip and on her breast as her body constricted around his.

“Felix,” she moaned helplessly and it sent him over the edge too.

He looked up at her, his hand shooting from her chest to tangle in her hair, anchoring her down on his lap as he lifted his hips and came, shuddering against her. The eye contact during was almost too much, but Daisy refused to break it. After they were done, they still looked into each other’s eyes, breathing hard as their muscles started to relax. Felix sat back with a huff, finally dropping his eyes. He frowned.

“Oh no, I am so sorry,” he said.

She looked down, too, to find his hand brushing so carefully over her skin where he’d gripped her a few moments before. Already, a purple blush was blooming on her pale skin, the beginnings of some bruises. She saw the look in his eyes and cupped his face with both hands, forcing him to meet her eye again.

“I. Like. It,” she said firmly, her gaze darting between his eyes to convey just how serious she was.

“I’d never hurt you,” he whispered.

“I know,” she smiled and shook her head, “and you haven’t. I feel secure when you hold me so tightly. And I like having little marks on my body that were made by you.”

His gaze searched her eyes now, like he believed her but needed to make sure.

“I promise. I wouldn’t lie. Not to you,” she said, leaving no room for argument in her tone.

“Ok,” he agreed with a cute little nod.

The rest of Thanksgiving break had been one of the hardest yet most rewarding weeks of Daisy’s life. She and Felix had had what seemed like endless discussions about Josh and how it was still affecting her. It was never easy to relive these things, but having someone so steady and caring, so truly there for her, made all the difference in the world. There had been lots of tears on both ends and Daisy had witnessed Felix get truly angry for the first time. Despite the circumstances, it had been kind of hot. Maybe a little bit because it was on her behalf, a protective instinct. She’d liked that. They’d traveled to her home for the holiday and he’d met her entire family, for better or for worse. But it went well. He and Elora had gotten on splendidly; even she couldn’t resist his cuteness and charm in person. Her mother, too, had absolutely adored him. Polite, helpful, and kind was what he’d been the entire time and though her mom had told her on the side that his deep voice was “a little scary,” she knew that it just flustered her. That was the worst thing she’d had to say and it wasn’t even a negative thing; which was rare for her mom.

He’d managed to navigate her dad’s side of the family well, too. Polite, helpful, and kind as well; but he let that Aussie side out more to match their wildness and they’d eaten it up. They were the type to play a lot of games and, of course, Felix loved that. He’d stayed up really late with her uncles and cousins playing poker one night, even after she went to bed. When she’d hugged her dad goodbye, he’d said gruffly in her ear “He’s alright, kid.” Which was shining praise. They’d facetimed his family a few times, for hours at a time. She officially loved them. His parents were so sweet and his sisters were funny. They were inclusive and welcoming; kind to her. It was the complete opposite of what she was used to. They’d told her stories about Felix and his siblings from when they were younger, showed her the best embarrassing photos of him, and started to plan a trip for Daisy to come home with Felix and meet them in person. They already had so many things they wanted to show her and take her to do.

They’d come home with the padding of two days before classes started up again to have some alone time. With everything being so busy and them staying with her family, they hadn’t touched each other more than some kissing since that first time on the couch. They got home late that night, too tired to do anything other than shower and go to bed then either, but they’d both slept in Daisy’s bedroom because they’d gotten used to sharing a room and really liked it. It felt strange to part now. The next morning, Daisy stirred first; yawning big as she rubbed her eyes. When she blinked them fully open, the room had a telltale light about it, leaking in through the slats of the blinds. She bolted up and ran to the window.

“Whoa where’s the fire?” Felix grumbled, barely peeking an eye open. She couldn’t even see his face past all his fluffy hair. She turned and grinned hugely at him.

“It snowed,” she said.

He was up then, too, even faster than she had been. She pulled the blinds up completely, baring the whole window for his viewing pleasure, and watched as he saw snow for the first time. His eyes were wide, his mouth open a little. His gaze darted all around, like he couldn’t decide what to focus on. He looked so full of childlike wonder, so cute, so fluffy, she thought she might actually die.

“Want to go out and play in it?” she asked. He nodded vigorously, making her laugh.

They bundled up, him in the I ❤ Sex scarf that he referred to now as “his scarf,” and went out. It was cold but not too bad. The snow was the fluffy kind. A lot had fallen and more was gently drifting from the sky even now. Felix opened his arms wide and lifted his face to it, spinning in a circle. Daisy took some sneaky pictures of him.

“Oh my God, look!” he gasped, running over to show her the flake he’d caught on the tip of his mitten, “I can’t believe they actually look like that in real life!!!! This is crazy, they’re not just blobs of white you can see all the little - hey!” he pouted when it melted.

“There will be more,” Daisy laughed.

They walked to a nearby park, listening to the sounds of kids playing in the snow and the sleigh bells of the horse and carriage rides you could take around the park as they constructed a snowman. Felix was delighted by the snow; the noise it made when you packed it together, the way it stuck together, the sparkles in the light on the surface. Daisy loved it too; it had been years since anyone other than her was this childlike about things and it was like a refreshing of the soul. They bought a carrot from the carriage driver and meant to use it for a nose on their snowman, but when the horse kept trying to reach for it as they paid and went to walk by, Felix couldn’t deny her and fed it to her instead. So they hunted for some rocks and sticks, crafting a derpy face out of what they could. Felix wrapped the sex scarf around its neck and laughed while Daisy took a picture of it.

“Hey this is just like your favorite Christmas song,” Felix said once the scarf was back around his own neck. “Sleigh bells ringing, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight,” he said and tapped his finger gently on her nose. She giggled and he smiled, his nose scrunched up cutely.

“We are happy tonight,” she agreed, her breath coming out in a cloud.

“You think this snowman has an officiant’s license?” he asked, stroking his chin in contemplation as he regarded the lopsided guy.

“I think this snowman recently lost his driver’s license. He’s clearly drunk,” she laughs.

“Let’s go for a carriage ride?” he suggested. The sun was setting and the lights had lit up along the lane where the carriage disappeared down.

He paid and helped her into the carriage, giving her the satisfaction of a hand flex after and looking very proud of himself for it. He settled in beside her and tucked the plaid blanket around their legs, making sure she was snuggled in all cozy. When he sat back, he draped an arm over her shoulders and she leaned against him. The carriage took off at a leisurely pace and they enjoyed the sights and each other’s company.

“Well what’s the verdict?” she asked after a while, lifting her head from his shoulder to look at him, “How do you like the snow?”

“I love it,” he said happily. Then his gaze intensified, his face softening but concentrated, and he said, “I love you.”

She stopped breathing, the world going perfectly still and silent for a second that felt like minutes, then she smiled so big she felt like her whole face was going to tear in half.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I know it’s early but it’s true,” he said, cheeks turning a bright pink.

“Felix, I love you too,” she said, warmth flowing through her body.

“You don’t have to say it so you don’t feel bad,” he said gently.

“I’m not. You allow me to be honest with you and I feel safe doing so. It’s the truth. I love you. I love you so much and I think I have loved you for a while now,” she said.

He grinned and pulled her in for another fairytale kiss that felt like it was straight out of the movies. The stars twinkled above the bony tree branches over their heads, the lights twinkled along the lane. The snow put a gentle hush on the world and the horse’s bells jingled merrily. It was the most perfect and happiest moment of Daisy’s entire life.

☀☀☀

When they got home, they hung up their wet gloves and such on the coat rack then Felix disappeared into his room. She straightened up the living room a bit and turned all of the Christmas lights on. She turned around when he cleared his throat. He walked over to her and took her hand, lifting it to kiss the back of it, eyes sparkling. Then he led her into his room. He’d lit candles and they were scattered artfully around the room. His soft white Christmas lights were on as well, contributing to the warm glow in the room. He shut the door as she stepped inside, cocooning them in the welcoming space. It smelled faintly like his cologne and everything was clean and neat.

“Wow,” Daisy breathed, taking it all in.

“Had to mark this very special occasion,” Felix smiled as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. They stood like that for a moment then he pulled her hair aside and gently kissed the side of her neck. “Let me make love to you, sweetheart,” he breathed into her ear.

She shuddered, earning a smile she felt against her skin, and nodded. He spun her in his arms and pushed her hair out of her face with both hands, letting them frame her face for a moment as he regarded her so tenderly. “You want that?” he asked, gaze searching her face.

“I want you,” she replied softly, taking a step closer and leaning up and in.

He kept one hand at the side of her face as they kissed, the other dropping to the curve of her lower back to pull her flush against him. Her hands rested on his solid chest between them. She could feel his heartbeat, steady and sure. He walked her backwards, guiding her smoothly to his bed, and sat her down on it. She watched him silently, taking him in. He lifted her sweater slowly over her head, then laid her back with the utmost care. His lips traversed her neck, chest, shoulders, arms, and stomach. He came up every few kisses and kissed her lips, too, like he couldn’t help it. By the time he reached behind her to unclasp her bra, she was feeling very warm. He kissed along where the straps had sat on her skin, then all over her breasts. He took his time on them, caressing with warm hands. He placed teasing kisses all around her nipples, making her squirm, then finally gave in and pulled one into his mouth. His fingers came up to gently roll the other nipple while he made pulsing sucks with his mouth.

Her nipples were very sensitive and guaranteed to get her. This he knew from previous conversations. She moaned and arched up against him. He stayed there for a long time, just kissing and sucking and licking her nipples. He had her breasts in his hands, pushing them up for better access. She was writhing, whimpering, genuinely concerned that she might actually come from this, when he looked up at her with those dark eyes. He shifted his thigh to press against her, right between her legs, and she lost it.

“Oh God,” she moaned as she came, gripping the covers beside her hips.

“Fuck that’s sexy,” Felix groaned as she shivered, coming down.

He finally let up on her chest, sitting up to remove his sweater, then his hands went to her jeans. He undid the button slowly, kissing underneath it and gave the zipper the same treatment. She was throbbing, aching as he pulled them off of her and kissed all over her thighs next. Whatever insecurities she’d had before melted away under his loving touch. There was no hiding them now, not when he was taking such time and care to explore her body, leaving very little skin untouched. When his hot breath washed over her through her underwear (thank God she’d worn lacy ones today), she sucked in a helpless breath of her own.

“I’m going to memorize you with my tongue so thoroughly, I’ll be able to do this in my sleep,” he says to her in that low voice he gets when he’s turned on.

She looks down at him with a pathetic whine and he smirks at her, making her tummy give another flip. Off come her panties, then his mouth is soft on her hips, kissing across where the top band had lain a moment before. He kissed down, then opened that sinful mouth and enveloped her clit with it. He gave it the same treatment that he had her nipples, gently pulsing, and let his tongue run over it slowly. She moaned from so deep inside of her that she felt it in her whole body. He tugged her down closer, her legs over his shoulders. The feeling of her bare skin on his gave her a powerful thrill and feeling of intimacy. He wrapped his hands around her thighs and mapped her out with his lips and tongue. He was amazing at this, didn’t do that horrible thing with his tongue that a lot of other guys did where they make it stiff and flick at you like they’re trying to win a button-smashing game. No, his tongue was relaxed and wide, giving pressure in all the right places. He set it over her entrance and made a little wave motion with it and her legs started to shake. That made him moan against her and the sound and vibration had her hands shooting down. She didn’t want to stop him, she wasn’t sure what her hands were even planning on doing, but he guided one into his hair and laced his fingers through hers with the other.

He held her steady as he kissed and sucked and licked all over, truly not leaving a single tiny part of her untouched. She had given up on trying to control her body, just letting her legs tremble against him as he laved his tongue against her and lifted up a bit to suck on her clit again. His free hand moved and then two fingers were slowly and carefully but firmly pressing up inside of her. It pushed out another moan from the depths and she arched up. She was going to come again. He pushed his fingers in deep, making a shallow pumping motion with them in so far and she saw stars as she had another orgasm. Her thighs locked up and her arms shook along with her legs as she squeezed his hand hard. He squeezed right back, moaning against her as he worked her through it. She was vaguely aware of him kissing back up her stomach as she fought to catch her breath. When he hovered above her, looking down at her with a loving hunger, she sighed.

“Good God, Felix,” she breathed, “I can’t feel my toes.”

He chuckled proudly and leaned in to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tight against her as he kissed her deeply. After a while of this, she moved and he let her roll him onto his back. She kissed down his jawline, humming in appreciation. He sighed when she kissed his neck, tipping his head back. She couldn’t help but give it lots of attention; the man had a sexy neck. And a sexy chest and shoulders and arms. She kissed him like he’d kissed her; unflinchingly and copiously. She loved him so much she thought she might burst wide open with it and she poured that love into every touch, so glad that she could let it flow openly. She even kissed each of his fingertips, making him giggle. His face was flushed, his hair splayed on the pillow.

“You are so beautiful,” she confessed and laid a hand on his chest, “You are so beautiful, inside and out. You’re perfect to me.”

He looked up at her with those big doe eyes, brows pulling in in an expression of almost pained love. He sat up to meet her and rested his forehead against hers. “You make me feel beautiful,” he said softly, “You make me feel like everything is ok. I don’t know how I got so lucky. You’re gorgeous, too, sweetheart; inside and out.”

“I love you,” she whispered, smiling.

“I love you,” he replied just as quietly, returning her smile.

He kissed her again and she found herself on her back once more. She reached down and he helped her get his pants and boxer briefs off blindly as they kissed. She reached for him and he caught her hand. He held it as he slid his cock against her, her slickness making the glide easy. Her breath stuttered at the contact of skin on skin and she squeezed his hand.

“I just need you right now,” he murmured, “Can I have you?”

“I’m yours, sunshine,” she replied.

He lifted up a bit, taking his hand back to lean his weight on as the other wrapped around himself. They’d talked about this before, too, using protection or not. He was the only guy she’d been with that cared about their safety and actually got tested when she’d asked. He’d even made a little date out of it and they’d gone together. He was perfect. And she was on birth control. She was thankful, too, because she wanted to feel every single inch of his skin that she could. She wanted to be so close to him. He nudged at her opening and she spread her legs a little wider. He looked into her eyes as he pushed slowly inside, working his way in carefully. Her breath stuttered and he used his free hand to caress her hip.

“I’ve got you,” he said.

It was a stretch she wasn’t used to but she found that it only made it better. Once he was fully inside of her and the skin of his pelvis was pressed firmly to hers, he lowered onto his elbows and let his weight come down onto her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and set her hands on his back, splaying them to better feel the muscles shifting under his skin as he began to move. He pulled back only a little at first, slowly, gently. When her fingers curled and pressed into his back, he made deeper strokes with his hips, dragging his cock along her walls then pushing back in again. They watched each other the whole time, breath mingling and faces close. Their moans were soft but deep, true and unfiltered.

“Ohh,” she moaned as he pushed in a little harder.

“Like that?” he asked. He was actually asking, not being cocky, but it was so hot that she bit her lip. She nodded and he did it again.

“Fuck,” she gasped.

“You feel so amazing,” he sighed, dropping his head to her neck. His back arched as he bent over her, hips thrusting more aggressively.

He was hitting her in all the right places. She grasped at his back with her fingertips, trying to not scratch him, and her legs began to shake around his hips again.

“Fuck you have no idea what that does to me,” he groaned, making her shiver with the timbre of his voice.

“I think I might have an idea,” she chuckled breathlessly.

He snapped his hips against hers and she arched her head back with another moan. He was panting against her, surrounding her. He took up her entire world, he was all she could feel. She could’ve died in that moment with no regrets about missing out on the rest of her life. Instead, she lived on to feel another orgasm approaching as he started to grind against her, staying in deep.

“Oh my God, you’re going to make me come again,” she whimpered.

“Me too, sweetheart,” he panted.

His hand found hers once more, fingers lacing together, and he pressed it down into the covers with his weight. She clung to him with her other arm and her legs and he moved in exactly the right way. This orgasm washed through her whole body. This time, nothing went numb. She felt it all, in every cell. It was like a wave of sunlight after a long winter. She clenched around him and he pressed deep inside, his whole body tight against hers. She felt every tremor through him, every twitch of him as he pumped his own orgasm into her body. It was so intimate, so right. When both were finally done spasming against each other, his body relaxed on top of hers and she tightened her arm and legs to give him a full-body hug. After a while, he rolled off of her and pulled her to his side. She faced him, curling up against him with a happy hum. His hands stroked the sweaty skin of her back as he gave a big sigh.

“Was that ok?” he asked, tilting his head to look down at her. Their hands lay on his chest, laced together once again.

It was officially the start of Thanksgiving break. They somehow had the whole week off, so it was time to spend it together before those that were traveling headed home. Daisy and Felix had finally made their cookies; four dozen of them, in fact. They’d wanted to try a new dough recipe and there was a chocolate version too. Each batch made more than they’d expected, but they didn’t mind because the cookies turned out great. They held shape and were thick and soft and the two’d had way too much fun decorating them. A lot of them were silly, but most of them were just plain beautiful. Between that, their decorations, how organized and clean they could be, and how they could cook and manage time ok, everyone had agreed that they would host Friendsgiving.

Daisy was mashing the potatoes when a knock came at the door.

“I’ll get it!” She told Felix, scooting by him and jogging over to the door. When she opened it, her heart swelled with joy and love. Various greetings were yelled at her and the boys all stood in a cluster together, hats, scarves, and gloves on. They were all holding something. They looked so adorable; like they should be a stock photo for a Thanksgiving ad.

“Quit staring and let us in!” Lee Know called, though it had only been a pause of a few seconds.

Daisy rolled her eyes and stepped out of the way, letting them file in.

“Hi love,” Chris greeted her with a one-armed hug, the turkey in his other arm. He’d cooked it and brought it because neither Daisy or Felix had ever made one and they were too nervous.

“FELIX!” Lee Know yelled as he came in, bypassing Daisy.

“Hey,” Han said, smiling apologetically as he hugged her. She laughed and hugged him back.

“He doesn’t speak for me,” Hyunjin said, looping both long arms around her and looking down, “Please stare at me always.”

“Of course,” she agreed with a chuckle, patting his cute little cheek.

Changbin didn’t say anything, he just scooped her up and lifted her in a big bear hug.

“What’s up,” Seungmin nodded to her as she was in the air, walking toward the kitchen.

“Happy Friendsgiving!” Jeongin danced through the doorway, holding a bottle of wine.

“Happy Friendsgiving, dear,” Daisy smiled, pulling him into a hug once Changbin put her down.

Everyone had been so busy with midterms and such the past two weeks, so they hadn’t been able to get together as a whole since Daisy and Felix started dating. They’d decided to tell them today, in person. It had been a little hard to not kiss Felix in their presence, but they honestly were so affectionate before that it wasn’t too much of an adjustment, thankfully. Daisy closed the door against the cold and wound her way through everyone’s shoes to join them in the kitchen. It was a tight space with all of them, but of course they all had to squeeze in and be close to each other. Daisy looked away when Han and Hyunjin started playing with some of her baking tools, unable to take the stress. She joined Chris on the other side of the half wall than the sink and leaned on it too.

“How’s things?” he asked.

“Really good,” she smiled big.

“I see,” he grinned, wagging his eyebrows. She laughed.

“Of course you do.” He mimed locking his lips and held his hand up to show he hadn’t said anything. The closest they’d come to discussing the whole Felix thing was that night at the bar, when neither of them openly acknowledged what they were talking about but he saw everything. She knew he had suspicions from seeing them between then and now once or twice and that she’d just confirmed them. It made her happy; she wanted to shout it from the rooftops that she was dating Felix. He was so amazing, so incredible, so gorgeous. She still couldn’t believe it was true.

They all worked around and with each other in the kitchen to finish everything up. Chris, Felix, and Seungmin helped her with the dishes, cleaning up the counter, and arranging everything. The dining room table was barely big enough for them to squeeze around with their plates; they would have to load them up in the kitchen then sit down. When it was ready, everyone had a time being as obnoxious as possible, hollering and hooting and clapping at the spread while Daisy and Felix blushed; standing in the middle of the kitchen where they’d been directed to for a picture. After that, it was chaos as always with everyone getting food and trying to fit at the table. Finally, they were all seated, shoulder to shoulder at the table. They let Felix lead them in a quick prayer then Chris spoke.

“Let’s go around and say one thing we’re grateful for.”

“You start, dad!” Jeongin said.

“Ok,” Chris said, sitting back in his chair and blowing out a breath as he really thought about it, “I am grateful for this moment. Right here, right now, with all of you. Everything about this feels like a blessing.”

“Awwwww,” everyone said and he got all shy, gesturing for Changbin to go next, since he was beside Chris.

“I am thankful for the gym. And for food,” he said.

“I’m thankful for cats,” Lee Know went next.

“I’m thankful for music,” Han said.

“I am thankful for art. And for love. Thank you guys for loving me; never leave me,” Hyunjin said. Everyone who could reach him hugged or patted or touched him as much as they could and they all assured him that he was stuck with them forever.

“I’m thankful for my hyungs and my noona. You are really good role models,” Jeongin said, earning more “awwws” from the group.

“I’m thankful that midterms are over,” Seungmin said. Daisy’s heart picked up a little in excitement. Felix was next. He was holding her hand under the table, fingers laced.

“I’m thankful that I moved here,” he said warmly and squeezed her hand.

“I’m thankful for my family, all of you being the best friends a girl could have, and for my boyfriend,” Daisy finished, lifting her and Felix’s hands from under the table.

The table erupted into chaos. Wine was spilled. Daisy and Felix were jostled, Changbin was yelling at Lee Know for squishing his roll with his elbow. It was about what Daisy had expected. She grinned, so happy she could just pop. They eventually settled back down.

“When did this happen?” Han asked, looking really excited. He was so sweet.

“The day after we went clubbing,” Felix said.

“Aha! It was the dancing. Gets ‘em every time,” Lee Know said.

“Good Lord,” Daisy says. She notices Jeongin pouting as he struggles to get his wallet from his pocket. When he hands Seungmin a $20 bill, Seungmin looking very cocky, Daisy asks, “Hey what’s going on over there?”

“Oh we had a bet,” Seungmin says as he slips the money into his wallet.

“You couldn’t have waited just a little longer?” Jeongin whines.

“What??” Felix said.

“What was the bet? When did you make it?” Daisy narrowed her eyes at them.

“At the tailgate,” Seungmin shrugged. He didn’t look sorry in the least, “Jeongin said you’d start dating after Thanksgiving and I said before.”

Daisy and Felix gaped at them. Neither of them had even liked each other like that yet.

“Oh quit looking so surprised,” Seungmin waved a hand, “ We know you both and it was just so obviously going to happen.”

“I mean I didn’t want to say it,” Hyunjin muttered, lifting his eyebrows and pursing his lips.

“Guys what the fuck,” Daisy laughed, “I was even closer with all of you!”

“This is different,” Lee Know chimed in, gesturing to her and Felix, “Even you see it or you wouldn’t be daaaaating.”

“I’m happy for you,” Han smiled. He knew the struggles she’d had with dating. Most of them, anyway.

“Well I mean thank you,” Daisy said, nonplussed, “Your guys’ support means everything to me. I’m just surprised,” she laughed.

“I’m just happy,” Felix said and kissed her hand, earning a beaming smile from Daisy and a puking noise from Chris.

“I’m just hungry,” Changbin said, “Can we eat??”

And with that, Daisy and Felix were officially out as a couple. Dinner went on the way it always would have. Chaos, laughter, and lots of love. It was so golden, so special, to have a friend group like this. Everyone truly loved each other and though, like any group of people who spent a lot of time together, they occasionally got into tiffs, they’d do anything for any of the others. Daisy’s studies were going well, she had the most solid group of friends, and now she even had a partner. She felt on top of the world.

After dinner, they played some games and watched some movies in the living room, digesting their food. After a while, a few of them started to get antsy.

“Hey you guys want to go to this party?” Hyunjin asked, looking at his phone, “Carrie just invited me.”

“Ohhhh who’s Carrie?” Jeongin asked, trying to peek at his phone. Hyunjin held him an arm’s length away with one hand on his forehead, texting with his other, still not looking up.

“She’s someone I’ve been seeing and I want you guys to meet her,” he replies, finally looking up at them.

“Of course we want that, Hyunnie,” Daisy smiled. He returned it brightly and she melted. He was so precious.

So they bundled back up and ventured back into the cold. The party was very conveniently located in the same apartment complex as Daisy and Felix’s, so they trudged through the wind a few little blocks down. At least it wasn’t snowing, Daisy thought as she narrowed her eyes against the biting air. They finally got to the apartment and went right in, exhaling in relief as the heat surrounded them. It was busy inside, full of people. They shucked off their layers, bundling them as safely as they could behind the couch near the front door that had everyone else’s coats on it. Threading in through the people, they tried to follow Hyunjin best they could without getting separated. He stopped and embraced someone and Daisy caught a flash of curls before getting sick of trying to crane her neck to see. She pushed her way to the front.

Hyunjin introduced them and Carrie looked almost as excited to meet her as she was to see Hyunjin. She was kind immediately and treated Daisy like they’d been friends forever instead of strangers just a minute ago. It was the perfect situation and after Hyunjin had introduced the rest of them, Daisy and Carrie stole away to keep talking. They found a quieter spot toward the back of the apartment, in a room someone had converted to a second living room. There were a handful of others in there, clearly stoned, just hanging out. So they settled at the end of one of the couches and talked.

Daisy hadn’t noticed how much time had passed; all she knew was that she’d laughed a lot and shared way too much personal information and officially had another good friend. Hyunjin poked his head in, looking around, then smiled when he saw them. He came over and held his hands out to Carrie.

“Came to steal my favorite girl from my favorite girl, that ok?” he asked as Carrie put both of her hands in his and let him tug her to her feet.

“I’ll allow it,” Daisy nodded. She smiled and waved as Carrie shot her one last smile while Hyunjin pulled her back into the hallway.

Daisy took a moment to look around the room, just taking it in. She wondered what Felix was up to and if he’d want to sneak off for a makeout session somewhere. She was about to get up and go find out when two of the people standing around started to raise their voices. Their argument escalated very quickly. They were yelling at each other, postures aggressive, and gesturing violently with their hands. And they were standing between her and the door. One person remained dead asleep, passed out on the other couch but everyone else had been close enough to the door to escape. She stayed where she was, frozen. Her heart was racing but her body wouldn’t move.

‘Get up,’ she told herself, ‘get up and just go around them. Just leave. You can just get up, GET UP AND GO AROUND THEM. LEAVE!’ But it was too late. She was triggered, fully in fight, flight, or freeze mode; and she was freezing. She was afraid to draw attention to herself and the voice was back in her head, telling her how stupid she was, how weak, how pathetic. ‘Can’t even stand up or walk. Even a baby could do that. You’re useless,’ it told her. She agreed but she could not make her body go. But when one guy shoved the other, her body bolted up without her consent and she tried to flee to the door.

“Fucking move!” one of them shouted at her, then took a swing at the other guy.

Her heart dropped when he yelled at her and the movement of their fight put them right in her path to escape. It was only a scuffle so far, nothing worse than the first punch, but they bumped into her anyway. She tipped and fell onto the other couch, nearly on the sleeping guy’s legs, and curled in on herself, hands over her head like she was practicing for a tornado drill in elementary school.

“Hey, get the fuck out of here! Stop that,” a voice yelled from the hallway.

“Come on, man,” another voice sounded, familiar and calm, “you heard him, mate, at least take it outsi-” it cut off. Then it yelled, too, “Han, get Felix! NOW!”

Daisy’s whole body shook as she heard everything transpire in a distant way, as if she was underwater. Her eyes remained squeezed shut and her muscles were locked up in her defensive position. When someone touched her, she flinched. Hard.

“Whoa, hey, it’s me,” a deep voice said soothingly, “Daisy, it’s Felix.”

Something inside of her immediately loosened at his voice but it was too deep to make her move. Her panic and years of abuse were in control now. She only shook.

“Baby, hey, it’s ok. They’re gone, ok? You’re safe. You’re safe. I’ve got you,” Felix’s calming voice said again and she felt a shifting on the couch.

Warm hands were laid very gently on her shoulders and when she didn’t shrink away, they started to rub carefully at her back. He continued murmuring to her, how safe she was. How he was there. How he would never let anything happen to her. How she was safe. After what felt like an eternity, she felt her muscles start to relax. It happened slowly, as if it was one by one; but eventually, she was able to lower her arms and lift her head. She was still shaking. She felt less under threat but now, in her relative safety, she felt shame flood in. She looked up at Felix’s terrified face and promptly burst into tears.

“Oh sweetheart, come here,” he said and caught her when she slumped forward, pulling her into his chest as her body released the fear and tension through a flood of tears. It lasted a few minutes, then that abated too. He held her the whole time, arms loose enough so she could pull back but tight enough that he was holding her together. When she pulled away again, he let go and she sat up, wiping at her eyes. She saw that the room was empty except for them, the door closed. She sucked in a very shaky breath and let her eyes meet his again. He wore a careful expression, like someone confronted with a wild animal that they didn’t know would hurt them or not.

“Oh God I’m so sorry,” she gave another little sob, but she’d cried herself out. She finished cleaning off her face with her sleeves and then covered it with her hands.

“Don’t apologize,” he said softly, “It’s alright.”

They sat in silence, his hand on her knee, rubbing soothing circles. She took a deep breath and faced him again, curling her legs up on the couch and hugging them. He turned, too, to look at her head-on, one leg up on the couch cushion and the other still on the floor. But his whole body was pointed toward her, his posture open.

“Please tell me what happened,” he requested, voice gentle.

“I’m embarrassed,” she admitted pathetically, looking down at her knees.

“Please don’t be,” he assured her, “You can tell me anything, sweetheart. I’m listening and I’m here.”

She began to pick at a loose thread on her jeans, watching that instead of looking at him. It was too much to look at him while she told him this, this horrible shame that she had never wanted to have to bring up to him.

“I… I’ve only had one other boyfriend. Josh. He was so handsome when we met, and he made me laugh. He said he’d be ‘honored to call me his girlfriend’ a month after we met, and it was only about two weeks later that he told me he loved me. I remember the feeling of my stomach dropping, not in a good way. ‘You don’t even know me,’ was what I thought. But ‘I love you, too’ is what I said. I didn’t want him to feel bad after such a vulnerable thing. That gave me bigger expectations for the relationship, but he still acted like it was brand-new, but not in a good way… somehow like he owned me but I was still bothering him? I don’t know how to describe it. Within two months, I had my first meltdown in the bathroom while I was volunteering. The panic I felt because he’d threatened to break up with me was way too intense for such a short amount of time, but it felt like my world was going to end. This happened several times. We stayed together but he made me feel small. He said he liked smart girls, but he was so mad that I was smarter than him. He hated it. I’d only ever been loyal but he constantly accused me of cheating on him. He threw a fit at a party once because I was ‘ignoring him’ when really I was just hanging out with my friends. He even had his own friends there, too. But that didn’t stop him from walking back to campus and apparently texting the last girl he used to hook up with before we started dating for a ride home. He made sure to tell me that and throw it in my face that she answered him before I did.

“His favorite color was red and I always thought I looked terrible in red, but I bought a red dress anyway, just for him. I actually felt beautiful. I did my hair and everything; wore it to a work function then out with him after. A few months after that, he randomly brought up the night that I wore it and told me that I had ‘looked like a fat dyke’ and my hair had ‘looked like a helmet.’ He got really mad once because I wanted to brush my teeth before bed. He called me the ‘most high maintenance girlfriend in North America’ and absolutely threw a fit. His friend was kind to me, so I went with him to a nearby park to try to calm down. Josh’s sister found us and yelled at us for being there. Later, Josh told me his dad, who was also with us, had asked why I would go with Rod instead of staying with Josh. I couldn’t understand how none of them could understand the simplicity of him just being kind to me?

“The first time… the first time he hit me was after a Halloween party. We were on his bed and he was trying to hook up, I think. It actually is kind of fuzzy. He had pinned my wrists above my head, but I was high up enough on the bed that they went over the edge. It hurt and I said so and he backhanded me across the face. The next thing I remember is standing by the closet, hand on my cheek, being frozen in shock. I honestly feel like I could’ve been convinced that it didn’t happen if I didn’t remember that moment so vividly. He would do things, say the most awful things, and then say he didn’t do or say it literally seconds later. He was a really good liar. And I knew his family and friends were weirdly loyal and would never help me.

“There was a time I went with Shelly, his sister, to their cousin’s bachelorette party. It was a city away and it was surprisingly fun. He’d spent our whole relationship telling me about how his family didn’t like me, which made me feel unsteady and awkward around them, which made them like me even less. This cousin was the only one I felt truly saw me and knew Josh was not a very nice person. The plan was to go out when we got home, with Josh and with Shelly’s new boyfriend, Adam. But when we got home, they were already so wasted that we literally couldn’t. I was so disappointed, he ruined my night again - he did this all the time - and he was being very mean. He got mean when he drank tequila. I mentioned that he was only saying that stuff because he was drunk and he kept claiming he wasn’t drunk.

“I just couldn’t let it go, I don’t know why, but he was really drunk so it was insane to me that he was saying he wasn’t. Also, I thought that it would be a good thing that he was only being mean because he was drunk, right? But it just pissed him off. When we got home, he stormed inside and I stupidly followed him, trying to defuse the situation. He threw my chair at the wall and put a hole in it. I didn’t think, I just acted. I tried to stop him before he broke anything and wrapped my arms around him. I guess to pin his arms down? I don’t know. But he was stronger. He threw me on the bed and I think maybe his momentum took him down with me? And maybe he was trying to just get back up? Or he did it on purpose, I don’t know. But his hand was around my throat and his whole weight was on it. I couldn’t breathe. I had just enough time to panic, then he let go.

“My body reacted again before my mind could catch up. I ran upstairs and closed myself in the bathroom and had a panic attack. I heard Shelly screaming at him downstairs. My best friend at the time, Halle, lived with us and she came into the bathroom to check on me. When she saw me, she was shocked and asked what happened. I couldn’t even think enough to lie so I told her the truth. I watched her face change and immediately regretted it. She left the bathroom and went and yelled at him too. I tried to stop it again; I was always the person who solved everyone’s problems, you know? I guess I was just used to that. At that point, Halle was upstairs and her boyfriend was there. Josh tried to say he didn’t do it and even rushed at the stairs like he was going to- well I don’t know. But he was going toward Halle. He only got a few steps in when her boyfriend stopped him.

“Then Shelly told me to let her see my neck and that if he’d choked me, there would be a mark. There wasn’t. They left and took Josh with them. It was a terrible night, I didn’t sleep at all. At 6 am, Josh was texting me about how sorry he was and how he just wanted to come home. I got up and drove all the way to Shelly’s apartment and picked him up. He told me later that Shelly was asking why I wouldn’t drop the whole him being drunk thing and a bunch of other stuff that let me know she was blaming and shaming me like right after it happened. We went on a canoe trip with his cousin and we hit a sunken tree and tipped over. I lost a bunch of my stuff and our canoe sank. The current was so fast, all I could do was cling to a tree branch and hope I didn’t float away too. Luckily, these guys saw and came to help us. When we got to shore, I sat on a little hill for a while while his cousin and all her friends passed us on the river. I laughed and waved so they wouldn’t worry, but I was really scared and cold. He wanted me to get back into the canoe because we were falling behind.

“‘I’m not ready,’ I told him, ‘I’m scared.’ And he screamed at me to ‘get my fucking ass in the fucking boat right now.’ So I did. So many other things I luckily can’t even remember now or just don’t want to go on and on about happened. We were together for years. I couldn’t tell anyone that he hit me; I didn’t want them to ask me why I was still with him. One day, he broke up with me. We lived together in a townhouse. He left and he actually didn’t come back this time. It hurt more than anything else, I was in such a low depression. Of course, he came back but never officially. We would meet up, hook up, and he would make me think we’d get back together just to tell me we weren’t.

“I tried to date other people. It made him so mad. But he did the same. He was steadily dating the same girl but still yelled at me for trying to get over him. I wasn’t successful. He led me on still, so convincingly, that she was nothing serious and it would be me. Then it was like a competition to win him and I don’t know why I ever entertained any of this, but it still felt like losing him would kill me. So I stayed. They officially started dating. He kept me around. Finally, I moved back in with my family for a while, doing my classes online. I nearly flunked out. I was really unwell. I thought I wouldn’t make it. I wanted to die. I barely scraped by, barely made it out. I can’t tell you how close I felt to just making it all go away. Eventually, my friends and family and therapist helped me. I blocked him and all of his friends and family so I wouldn’t see him and get triggered all over again. He still emails me sometimes; I can’t make that go away. But now I have these really stupid reactions to things that aren’t even a big deal, like that. I can’t control it. It’s been two years since we broke up; people have gone through so much worse and gotten so much better in a shorter amount of time. I don't know what’s wrong with me. I’m really sorry you had to see that. You don’t have to-”

“Daisy,” Felix finally spoke. She stopped talking and took a minute to ground herself. Then she looked up at him. His cheeks were wet with tears and she blinked in surprise. His jaw was a hard, tense line; but when he spoke to her, his voice was as gentle as could be. “There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is different so don’t compare yourself to anyone else, ok? I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else. And I know I don’t have to do whatever you were about to say. Stay here right now, be with you, whatever. But I want to. I’m not going anywhere. And I can promise you that. As long as you want me, I am here. And I can promise you that as long as I’m here, nothing like that will ever - ever - happen to you again. I’ll help you believe it, it’s ok if you don’t yet.”

Her lip trembled. He’d said exactly what she’d needed to hear. She didn’t know how he always did that. He softened and held his arms open, an invitation. She unfurled herself and went into his embrace. He held her tightly this time, a solid and warm presence. He stroked her hair and rocked her gently back and forth, murmuring soothingly to her.

“I’m sorry, ‘ she said again after a while.

“I know, sweetheart. It’s ok, I promise. I only need you to be exactly who you are right now.”

The words made her heave another sob. They weren’t words she thought she’d ever hear, especially from someone like Felix.

“Can I tell you something really bad?” she said quietly.

“You can tell me anything,” he replied.

“I’m glad he hit me,” she says out loud for the first time ever, “I feel like people understand that more. Really, it’s the rest that fucked me up so badly but to others, the physical things are the worst and justify my still being so fucked up to them.”

He’s quiet for a moment, just holding her, then he gives her a squeeze, “I get that. Truly. I don’t think I could make it through what you did. I’m so grateful you did and you’re here with me now.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said, clinging to him, “You make me feel like I might be ok.”

“You will be. You are now,” he said quietly. She felt a trickle of something on her forehead and reached up to touch it. Her finger came back wet and he pulled back to look at him. He was crying.

“Oh, Felix,” she said, her heart breaking. Somehow seeing him cry was worse than anything else that had happened tonight. “Don’t cry, darling.” She gently wiped at his cheeks with her thumbs. He shook his head, looking embarrassed.

“Please, Daisy, just ignore me. You shouldn’t have to comfort me at a time like this. I just can’t help it. I can’t imagine how anyone could ever want to hurt you,” he choked up a little at the end and that set her off again, too.

“I hate to see you hurting, too,” she cried.

They both sobbed pathetically for a minute then tried to dry the other’s tears. Daisy gave a tearful laugh but it was robust and burst out of her with shocking authenticity. Felix hiccuped a little giggle in return then they were both crying and laughing. It ended up in a big hug, both of them holding on tightly, barely able to breathe but still not close enough.

“I’m so glad no one was here to see that,” Daisy laughed, her chin on his shoulder.

“Me too, that was really something else,” Felix agreed, chuckling into her neck. They pulled back again and he gently fixed her hair, then caressed her cheek. “I might cry along the way, but I will be strong for you when you feel like you can’t be.” “I promise the same,” she said sincerely, putting her hand over his.

Finally, they stood up and managed to fix themselves enough to emerge from the room again. The little hallway was lined with their group. Some were leaning against the walls , some standing, a few even sitting on the ground; giving away the fact that they’d been there the entire time.

“Oh!” Daisy said, surprised.

She swallowed and nodded, not trusting her voice. He kept his eyes on her as he placed the snowflake back in the bag and set it on the floor. He leaned back to grab his hot chocolate from the side table and her eyes were drawn downward by a slight bump in his grey sweatpants. She flushed and yanked her eyes away as fast as she could manage, tummy dipping. She distracted herself by putting Norman back in his box and setting him down then grabbing her own hot chocolate. She cleared her throat and took a sip, unable to keep her eyes from him any longer. He was still watching her. She took a deep breath and his gaze dropped to her chest then slowly back up. Well fuck. She did not want to be the only one affected here, so she got bold before she could second guess herself, picking up one of her mini candy canes. She wrapped her lips around it and pulled it back out slowly, licking the whipped cream off.

His whole face changed, then, becoming the hungry thing she’d glimpsed at the club last night. She put the candy back down into her drink and went to lick the residue from her fingers. Felix’s hand shot out and grabbed her wrist and she stilled, looking at him with wide eyes. He once again kept eye contact with her as he leaned in and brought her fingers to his lips instead. His tongue was silky and gentle as it swirled around the tip of her finger and she let out a soft moan. He closed his eyes when she did, looking like he was trying his best to control himself. It was the hottest thing she’d ever seen.

“Felix,” she whispered pleadingly.

He opened his eyes and they burned up at her. He must have seen the desperate need on her face because then he finally surged up and kissed her. It was deep like the other times but had an edge to it. He pulled back just long enough to set their mugs on his side table then grabbed her legs and yanked her closer with one firm tug. She slid down the couch with a gasp, Felix hovering over her as he kissed her again. He laced his fingers with hers then brought their hands up above her head, pressing down. She sucked in a little breath against his lips and he made a very sexy, very low noise deep in his chest. It made her whole body shudder.

“You always do that, it drives me crazy,” he pulled back to murmur.

“I can’t help it,” she pants against his lips.

“I hope it never stops,” he says, leaning in to say it into her ear.

His voice was closer to his morning voice than his regular voice now and she shivered again. Felix was one of the safest people she knew; she would trust him with her life. But when he made noises like that, there was a part of her body that recognized him as a predator. She also somehow melted at it, her body betraying her by folding at the very same time, giving up to just let him have her as his prey.

Her heart was racing as he kissed her neck, hand still squeezing hers tight on the pillow above her head, pressing it deep into the fabric with his weight. His other hand splayed on her thigh, running down it to hitch her leg upon his hip. She sucked in a stuttering breath when she felt him against her, the softness of his sweatpants and her leggings not providing a very stable barrier.

“Is this ok?” he asked, his breath sounding short as well.

“Yes,” she sighed, lacing her fingers into his hair at the back of his head, “yes.”

With that, he kissed her again. Like he couldn’t help it. Like he wasn’t even in control of his own body. He rolled his hips down against her and it sent a shock up her body so intense, her eyes rolled back behind her lids. She moaned when he did it again.

“Fuck, I really like it when you do that,” he groaned.

“You’re trying to kill me,” she whined, her head arching back as he pressed against her again.

“Careful,” she felt him smirk against her lips, “you sound like you don’t actually want me to stop.”

“Don’t stop,” she gasped.

“Can I touch you?” he breathed, his hand already moving from the back of her thigh to the front again.

“Please,” she whimpered.

“This feels so right,” he said quietly, pulling back to look down at her.

His eyes were dark and soft, his lips pink from kissing, and his cheeks flushed. She melted at his words, at the sight of him. She smiled gently, unable to stop it. An answering smile grew on Felix’s face and then he did what he did best - duality. While he was looking at her so tenderly and smiling that angel smile, his devilish hand moved again, sliding down between them to cup her over her leggings. Her smile faltered and she bit her lip, hips lifting up into his hand instinctively. He let out a breath at the heat that was coming off of her and started to gently rub her over her leggings, still looking her right in the face. She stared up at him helplessly. After a little while of working her up, he slipped his hand up under her white sweater, angled it down under the band of her leggings then her underwear, and slid his fingers against her bare skin until he was there. Instead of moving, he paused then, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath.

“Are you o-” she started to ask but he interrupted her.

“You’re so fucking wet, sweetheart,” he said, opening his eyes again, “so wet because of me,” he added softly, like it was to himself; a thought he couldn’t help let escape into the air between them.

“All for you,” she murmured, trying her best to squeeze his hand more than she already was.

He pulled back, lifting up and taking his hand out of her pants. He lifted their hands that were laced together and gave the back of hers a kiss.

“Come here,” he said, adjusting so he was sitting on the sofa. His hands were steady and strong but careful as they guided her by the hips to straddle him.

They did nothing but look at each other for a long moment then smiles bloomed across their faces again. She reached up and traced a fingertip along the curve of his smile.

“Beautiful,” she murmured.

He softened, leaning into her hand as she rested her palm against his cheek. He turned his head to kiss it, then gently guided it down to the hem of his shirt. She gladly obliged, pulling the fabric up his torso, then his chest, then over his head. His abs flexed as he sat up a little to allow the shirt to come off and he flung it away onto the floor once it was at his fingertips. She ran a hand down the front of him, letting her fingers bump over the ridges and dips of his physique. She shook her head a little in disbelief and he let out a breathless chuckle. He let her touch him for a long moment, her hands mapping out the hot skin of his abs, chest, shoulders, and arms, before he gave the hem of her own shirt a gentle tug. Not demanding, questioning. She lifted her arms in response and he removed it with the same care she had with his.

It made a soft whump as it hit the ground and she watched him as he looked at her. He looked more than pleased and leaned forward, lips caressing the soft skin at the swell of her breasts over her bra. She held on to the back of the couch, closing her eyes at the sensation. One had stayed at her hip, thumb moving in a continuous soothing sweep back and forth and the other shoved slowly back into her leggings. After a minute of feeling him try to move with his wrist trapped in the fabric like that, she chuckled.

“Here,” she said and stood up, quickly removing her leggings and leaving herself in only her bra and underwear.

He lifted his hands to the sides of his head, pushing his hair back. He looked both sexy and helpless, his biceps flexing with the motion. There he was, sitting on her couch - their couch - legs spread, reclined back with his shirt off and only those damned grey sweatpants on. He could not have looked sexier. She’d meant to take off her pants and climb right back on top of him, but she had a new number one priority. She walked back over and slid a teasing finger along the line of his sweats, on the sensitive skin of his lower belly. He twitched under her, giving a little laugh at the tickle. She had to smile at him for a second; he was so cute. Then she gave them the same tug he’d given her shirt, asking. He lowered his hands to his hips and pushed them off, lifting up. He moved so fast she couldn’t even help him and it made them both laugh until Daisy took a look.

She stepped back to get the whole picture and closed her eyes briefly, like she was praying for strength. When she opened them, she moved.

“Whoa, hey, what are you doing?” he asked, sitting up straight to touch her arm when she sank to her knees in front of him.

“I want to,” she said.

“I wanted to-” he started, but she silenced him with a stern look.

“I have to, Felix. I need this,” she explained. She was not kidding.

“Fuck. Ok,” he agrees, eyes wide. He quickly reaches over and grabs a pillow, dropping it to the floor so she wouldn’t be kneeling on the hardwood floor. Jesus, how was he real? She wondered for the millionth time.

Knees sinking into the forgiving pillow, she was face to face with his cock. It was hidden only by his boxer briefs, a light grey that didn’t do much to actually hide it. Light grey enough to show the wet spot where he was leaking precum. She caressed him through the fabric, then leaned in to ghost her mouth over the length, breathing hotly so he’d feel it though the material.

“Oh shit,” he moaned, throwing his head back. It snapped back up right away so he could watch her.

She let her hands slide down his sides to his hips then up his thighs, giving his shape a good feel.

“Can I taste you?” she purred, enjoying the darkness of his eyes and the way he was looking at her very much.

“Yes,” he said, nodding for emphasis lest she misunderstand his agreement.

She pulled his underwear off then and finally, he was bare before her. She felt like she’d been waiting for this her whole life. He was as beautiful there as he was everywhere else; somehow even his dick was pretty but manly too. She wrapped her hand around it and didn’t bother giving it an experimental or teasing lick; of course she wanted to make him feel so good, but she was doing this for herself. His moan was gravelly as she took him in, letting her tongue glide along his skin as she pushed her mouth down onto him. She hummed around him, closing her eyes and just letting the sensations of him overwhelm her senses. She began a slow but deep bob, letting her spit coat his skin so she could work it with her hand as well. His hands shot into her hair like he couldn’t help it and she used the hand that was on his thigh to hold one there for a few seconds, letting him know she liked it.

“Daisy, Jesus,” he groaned, his fingers giving her scalp a little massage as he held onto her, as if he couldn’t stop himself from being careful and loving even at a time like this.

She worked him faster, greedy, unable to get enough. She could feel her panties sticking to her, she was so wet. She pulled off once to lick a wide stripe across him, holding his cock upright in her hand so he could really see her holding him, touching him. Then, she got back to massaging him with her tongue and bobbing. His moans were low, growly, and he kept his fingers in her hair.

“Oh I’m gonna come,” he warned her, his fingers withdrawing a bit so she could move.

Instead, she moved her hand and forced him into her throat, going as far as she could; which was the whole thing. He let out a choked gasp and clutched her hair, twitching hard as he shot his load down her throat. She did have to pull back as soon as he was done to breathe and because it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. She gave a swallow for good measure and gently rubbed her hands up and down his thighs as he panted, coming down.

“Come here. Now,” he demanded, reaching for her.

She allowed herself to be guided back onto his lap, loving this side of him, and pressed against him as he kissed her. He didn’t stop, didn’t look as he reached behind her and undid her bra with one hand. They continued to kiss as she flung it to the side and then her skin was on his bare skin and they both gave helpless moans. He kissed her like he was trying to fuse with her, like he would die if he stopped. She absolutely loved it. Suddenly, his hand was in her underwear again, which felt a lot different now that there was only that very thin, very translucent scrap of material separating them. She felt his hot skin on hers everywhere; she was drowning in him. He gave one confident rub, his hand gliding down then back up again once, pressing lightly on her clit before going back down. He slipped two fingers inside of her, no hesitation, taking her just like she took him.

She moaned deeply into his mouth and he held her to him, one hand at the side of her neck and in her hair and one deep inside of her. He moved his fingers in and out, rubbing in time with the strokes of his tongue against hers as his thumb pressed just above her clit. It was so hot, she didn’t even have time to prepare, she just came. Her orgasm was white-hot, her nails digging into his shoulders as she stiffened. Her walls clenched hard on his fingers, making him groan right back as he worked her through it. It felt like it lasted a long time, pleasure echoing through her in twitches as she came down. Finally, she dropped a hand to gently place on his forearm and he immediately stopped touching her with his thumb then gently pulled his fingers out.

She pulled back from the kiss, panting, and leaned her forehead against his. His hands held her waist just above her hips, his fingers smearing her wetness onto her skin. She opened her eyes to find him looking at her already. Before she could move, he pulled her to his chest in a big hug, holding her tightly, just the way she liked. She clung to him in return and they stayed that way for quite a long time. It had been an emotional couple of days with an explosive release, and they held each other, letting the familiar touch calm their nervous systems. When her heartbeat was slower and steady, she pulled back and he let her go. She didn’t go far, just enough to straighten out her back and look at him. His face was gorgeous; prettier than ever. His honey-toned skin was glistening with sweat and he looked wrecked. But his eyes were clear and open. Full of trust and care and wonder as they looked up at her. She smiled and he traced her bottom lip with his finger.

“Beautiful,” he said, echoing her earlier words.

Felix was as good at aftercare as Daisy knew he would be. He hadn’t been more than a foot away since they’d hooked up; gently guiding her movements, his hand on her back, stroking her arm, briefly locking his pinky with hers, brushing her hair out of her face; always touching her. It felt comforting instead of stifling and it didn’t even bother her when he helped her into some sweatpants of her own, then pulled one of his baggy sweatshirts over her head, carefully pulling her hair out of the collar for her. She giggled at that and he smiled at her, not sorry in the least.

They’d ended up back on the couch, curled up and intertwined with each other. Felix’s weight and warmth felt like solace. She thought about what he’d said earlier. This feels right. And it did. It felt natural, like this was where she was going to end up no matter what and now that she was here, her soul could relax. She knew she was getting ahead of herself, was feeling too deep too fast, but she allowed herself. Felix was practically purring, his head on her shoulder and her fingers running through his hair in a gentle, unpatterned rhythm.

“Who knew a snowflake could be such an aphrodisiac,” Daisy remarked.

“Yeah I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at it again without getting hard. Good thing you didn’t want to put it up in the living room!” Felix agreed.

“Or in my room,” she said and he lifted his head to look at her in surprise.

“Not in front of Norman,” she scolded teasingly, “He’ll be afraid of you enough after seeing the bunny.”

“Ok let’s do the decorations now,” she insisted, leaning over to grab the bag and sitting straight again with an excited bounce. She loved giving presents; never could get them ahead of time because she couldn’t wait to hand them over. It had resulted many years in people getting random presents throughout the year and then her having to come up with something new when it came to Christmas, as she wouldn’t stand for anyone to not have something to unwrap.

She handed Felix the bag and took hers from him. His was a lovely hat box, decorated with a Christmas themed decoupage. She held it up and inspected it from all sides.

“Felix, I love it! Thank you!”

“That’s just the box. There’s something inside,” he laughed.

“Oh!” She sat it on her lap and worked the lid off to reveal a polar bear stuffed animal. “Ohhhh!” she squealed as she pulled him carefully out. His fur was soft and sparkly and there was a wreath around his neck. It was one of the cutest things she’d ever seen. And he’d remembered that it was her favorite animal. “Aww I love him,” she cried, hugging the bear to her chest.

“Not strictly a decoration, I suppose, but I thought he could join the others on your bed and add some festivity,” Felix smiled fondly, “Especially since my surgery attempt on your Rabbit was so…amateur.” That made her laugh. He’d sewn the bunny back up and returned him, but he’ll always have a scar.

“Felix, I absolutely adore it. Thank you,” she said earnestly. She lifted him in front of her and regarded his little face. “Hmmm. I think I shall name him Norman.”

“Sensible,” Felix nodded sagely.

She tipped forward and hugged him tightly, giving an extra squeeze at the end that made him giggle. When she sat back, she gently tapped on his bag, “Ok you next.”

He smiled, looking like a kid as he pulled out the tissue paper.

“An avocado! Thanks!” They both said at the same time, which resulted in a brief pause for laughter.

When he lifted the snowflake, it caught the rainbow lights from the tree and threw the reflections on the wall behind them.

“Wow,” he breathed, letting it twirl slowly as it dangled from his fingers, eyes rapt on the details.

“I thought you could put it on your window, since you get the morning sun,” she said.

“It’s beautiful, Daisy. Thank you so much,” he looked past the ornament to her and they smiled at each other.

“I miiight have gotten myself a little something that matches,” she said, then pulled the bracelet from her purse. She held it as he lifted the other end with his fingertips, admiring.

“That’s beautiful, too,” he agreed. He gently took it from her, “May I?”

She held her wrist out and his touch feathered along her skin as he clasped it securely in place. They looked at the two beside each other and Felix smiled.

“This is the best!!!” Daisy exclaimed, bouncing up and down on her toes.

“I figured you wouldn’t mind that it was only the second week of November,” he laughed.

“No one ever wants to do this with me so early,” she said.

He smiled warmly and took her gloved hand in his, the cotton of his mitten making her fingers extra warm. It still had yet to snow, but it was officially winter weather and they stood at the entrance to an outdoor Christmas market, bundled up and smiling like fools. He pulled her in and she immediately felt the magic of the holiday season. Music was playing, different smells floated through the chilled air, and people milled about happily. They walked slowly through once, just taking in everything. When they reached the end, he looped them back around to a stall that was baking cookies on the spot. They had these huge, chunky, steaming chocolate chip cookies and they made her mouth water. She looked up at him and he grinned.

“I knew you’d want one.”

“I really do,” she nods with wide eyes, turning her gaze back to the glistening chocolate. He buys them each one and they talk and laugh with the vendor as he makes them fresh ones. He even gives them each a big spoonful of dough.

“Don’t tell anyone else, I’m not supposed to be doing that,” he nodded to their spoons, which were already in their mouths.

“Dan, we would never,” Daisy assures him and Felix gives him a mittened salute.

They start to walk again, chewing on their cookies, and decide to pull over to the side and sit on a bench that has lights all around it and garland on the back after they cause a traffic jam a third time. The first time, Daisy had closed her eyes in bliss after her first bite and walked right into a light pole since she couldn’t see where she was walking. The second, Felix threw his head back with a groan of appreciation and his hat had fallen off, nearly trampled on. The third and final straw was when Daisy started to move her shoulders and upper body in a little happy dance (something she and both her sister and aunt did when they ate, unconsciously) as they walked. Felix had giggled, finding it cute and, of course, started to do it too. Egging each other on led to more dramatic movements and when they’d had to move over to let a mom pushing a stroller who was decidedly not amused by them, they’d finally agreed to be menaces off the main walkway.

“This is so much more fun with- well, with you,” Daisy smiled at Felix. She’d been about to say ‘with someone who didn’t act like her existence embarrassed or inconvenienced him,’ but it was definitely too early for her to be bringing any of that up to Felix. Maybe she’d never have to. In her opinion, knowing everything about someone you love was normal and what she wanted; but maybe she’d heal now. Finally. Maybe that could just be a blip in her life; a chapter that felt like a novel but really was small. Small enough to not even have to address with him.

“I always have fun when I’m with you, too,” he smiled.

They finished their cookies and he pulled off a mitten then reached over and swiped some melted chocolate from the corner of her mouth. She didn’t have time to be embarrassed because he brought that thumb directly to his own mouth, sucking the chocolate off in a very manly way. Her stomach took a deep dive as she watched him. Her cheeks were already pink from the cold and a little more heat spread over them. He went about his business like what he’d just done wasn’t the hottest thing ever, taking her napkin from her and going to throw them away before returning to her. Jingle Bell Rock came on as he walked back and he danced at her, mouthing the words and making her giggle. He sat back down and she slid his mitten back on his hand.

“Excuse me,” a voice had them looking up. It was a middle-aged woman and she was smiling apologetically, “I’m so sorry if this is strange but the two of you were so cute, I took a few pictures of you and thought you might want them.”

“Oh my God, mom,” a teenage girl behind her said through clenched teeth, looking mortified.

“That’s really sweet!” Daisy gushed, “I would love to have them.”

The lady handed her phone over to let Daisy send them to herself. They were really cute and she was so glad that someone had captured them. One of Felix pointing at her, mid-lyric with his face all screwed up and her laughing on the bench. One of her putting his mitten on and him watching her with a tender expression. One of them looking right at each other with huge smiles.

“Wow, thank you,” Felix said, looking over Daisy’s shoulder then up at the woman, “That’s very thoughtful. Would you like some of you and your daughter?”

“Oh really? That would be so nice! She’s off to college next year so I can put this up to see her while she’s away.”

“Mom, you have a million pictures of me already,” the girl laughed, but Felix was far too charming for her to resist.

Daisy and Felix got off the bench and Felix held the mom and daughter’s bags as Daisy took a bunch of pictures. Everyone laughed when she crouched down to get all angles for lots of options, posing them so they looked their best.

“Thank you so much,” The mom gushed when they were done, taking her phone back, “You two are angels.”

“Happy to help,” Daisy said genuinely, smiling. The daughter took the bags back from Felix, blushing and looking down.

“Merry Christmas!” the mom called and she and the daughter smiled and waved as they moved on. Daisy and Felix waved back.

“Well that was really sweet,” Daisy said with a big smile.

Felix offered his arm and she curled her hand around his bicep, letting him lead her on. They stopped at several stalls, chatting and trying and buying too much. They were a little too similar in that regard, they both had a hard time saying no.

“Ok one more thing,” Felix said, turning to her, “I know we’re going to your storage unit to get your decorations after this, but how would you feel about splitting up and each picking out a decoration for the other to put in their room?”

“I feel very positively about that,” she said enthusiastically.

“Thought you would,” he smiled.

“Sunshine, you were written by a woman,” she told him fondly.

They parted and she branched off to try to find some stalls they hadn’t looked at yet. She chewed her lip as she looked. This was such a fun idea; exactly the sort of thing she absolutely loved. But nothing seemed good enough. He wasn’t just her friend now. He was her boyfriend. And that put pressure on it. Finally, she stopped. An old couple sat behind the booth, folding chairs close enough to share a blanket. The man’s head lay on the woman’s shoulder and she hummed along with the music as she crocheted something. There was a plethora of handmade things here; jewelry, wood carvings, crocheted things, and stained glass ornaments hanging along the awning.

“Hello,” Daisy greeted them with a smile.

“Hello, dear,” the woman smiled too.

“These are beautiful,” Daisy said, picking up a bracelet to admire it. She didn’t even wear bracelets very often at all but this one was beaded and sparkling, the colors in it silver and white and a beautiful light blue that was a bit iridescent and just a touch purple. It looked like Cinderella.

“Thank you! We make it all,” the vendor smiled proudly.

They conversed for a while and Daisy looked as they did, picking something else up every few moments. She forced herself to put it all back down, though; she couldn’t spend that much. But she did want to buy something (ok she wanted to buy it all but she literally could not). She looked up at the ornaments and one caught her eye. It was a snowflake, delicate and beautiful with silver metal and a slightly pearlescent sheen to the glass, which was the same light blue/purple of the bracelet. That sold her and she purchased the snowflake and the bracelet, handing over a few cookies from her pack that they’d went back to buy for later after they ate their fresh ones as well for the couple to enjoy from their chairs. She was excited when she found Felix again, bounding up to him. He smiled when he saw her and stepped in, leaning down to plant a kiss on her lips. She hummed and kept it chaste but pressed a little harder, just loving the feel of his lips.

“Mmm I love that I get to do that now,” he murmured, eyes sparkling as he pulled back.

“Not as much I as I love it,” she said.

“Doubt it,” he replied.

“I know you’re competitive, but I’m sorry. I am the winner here,” she insisted.

“Sweetheart, you’re the prize.”

“Oh my God, you flirt! You’d better watch it, I have a boyfriend now,” she pushed playfully at his arm.

“That so?” he raised a brow, “Well where he at? Is he getting you refreshments? Is he tall?”

Daisy’s laughter pealed through the air. “He’s getting me Mike n’ Ikes,” she played along.

“Is he coming back??” Felix asked and they both laughed. She was so glad to be with someone who was like her and Elora with their pop culture knowledge and quotes.

They decided to give their decorations at home and loaded the car with their purchases then drove to her storage unit, loading the car with as many bins as they could fit. Once they were home and everything was inside, he turned on the silent fireplace on Netflix and she put on her Christmas playlist. Once again, she couldn’t help but compare this experience to the last she’d had with a boyfriend like it. The difference was stark and astounding and she could not be more grateful. This was easy; no one yelled at her or made her feel like she was annoying them or taking too long. Where to put everything was a discussion, every bit of labor was a partnership. She felt as warm and fuzzy inside as the fake fireplace on the TV.

She had this weird stage fright of singing in front of people. She could get on a stage just fine but one on one like this, it was like it stuck in her throat no matter how hard she wanted it to come out. But Feilx’s presence was such a balm on her soul that she realized at one point that she was singing along to the music. She hadn’t even noticed and she didn’t know how long she’d been doing so.

“Aw, why did you stop?” he pokes his head around the tree to look at her, “That was really lovely.”

“Really? Sorry I actually just noticed I was doing it.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he smiled, “I like it.”

She smiled back and decided that she was going to roll with it. Even when the Pentatonix version of White Winter Hymnal came on, she didn’t stop. It was one of her favorites and she loved loved loved to sing it but it was very high and that always extra stopped her in front of others. But not today. In fact, Felix sang it with her. Of course he knew it too. It felt so good to sing with him and they sounded nice together, too. Winter Wonderland came on next and she perked up.

“Ohh! This is my favorite Christmas song,” she said.

Felix sang this one, too; and this time, she stayed quiet, just listening. It was so lovely, she stopped decorating and just closed her eyes, listening. She sighed when it ended, smiling.

“Stop that,” Felix said and she opened her eyes to find him smiling at her too, “It’s too cute I can’t get anything done.”

“Well sorry,” She laughed, “I can’t get anything done when you sing.”

“We are going to have a hard time with chores from now on, huh?” he said and they laughed.

They worked until the entire apartment, including even their bathrooms, looked like a Christmas wonderland. It took long enough that they were too tired to do the from-scratch cookie-baking extravaganza they’d originally planned, so that got tabled for a later date. They’d had to remind themselves that it wasn’t even Thanksgiving yet so they had time. Felix sat on the couch at Daisy’s insistence as she worked her magic with her hot chocolate maker in the kitchen. She asked if he was excited for his first Thanksgiving. He told her stories from past Chuseok celebrations with his family and how nice it was to have Chris and the guys here to be with this year since he wasn’t at home. Daisy agreed; she knew from her friendship with the boys how important of a family holiday that was. Lee Know and Han went home every year, no matter what, but the others couldn’t afford it other than every few years so they spent it with each other.

“I know we’re having a Friendsgiving, but I wanted you to know you’re invited to my family’s Thanksgiving as well. If you want to go! No pressure at all; I know it’s soon and if you’d like to spend it with Chris’ family, I don’t mind,” she said, carrying the mugs out to the living room. She joined him on the couch, tucking one leg up under the other and handed over a mug.

“Well first of all, wow,” he said as he took it from her. It was a monstrosity with marshmallow whipped cream that she’d toasted on top, a chocolate syrup drizzle, and a candy cane heart. He took both mugs and set them on the table, adjusting them this way and that with the tree in the background, taking a few pictures. Finally, he gave hers back and sat too, a little closer so their knees were touching. “And secondly, I would be honored to spend Thanksgiving with your family.”