The more things change, the more they stay the same.
My last real post here was August 2014. It’s now April 2016.
SHAMEFUL, I know. I have no excuse. I missed a lot of nice, too nice, and not nice things in the sports world. I won’t bother trying to catch up partly because, from a local standpoint, little has changed.
The Oilers are still real bad. But with Rexall Place officially closed to Oilers hockey (with a practically embarrassing amount of funeral-level fanfare, but I loved every second of it) and the next season starting at the shiny new downtown arena in the fall, I’m hoping for a fresh start. Turns out, the numbers are in our favour!
This weekend, our country’s government mandated hockey overlords shared the most glorious news tidbit of all time, undoubtedly peaking the interest of a nation (an Oilers Nation).
Long story short: when LA, Buffalo and San Jose all moved to their new buildings: they made it to the playoffs in their FIRST YEAR IN THEIR NEW ARENAS.
Were those teams terrible for 10 full years prior?
I don’t know - but I DO know that the Sharks used to play in a place called the COW PALACE.
And I DO know that we have a Connor McNugget.
So just sit with all of that information for a moment.
THIS IS ALL VERY NICE -- on to a non-Oilers world.
Holy shit, I’m not a huge basketball fan but Steph Curry, you and your team are very good at this sport! TO HISTORIC PROPORTIONS! The Golden State Warriors have now tied the 1995-1996 Chicago Bulls for winning lots of games! Now, Steph,go get a cool earring as a homage to Michael Jordan and CALL IT A DAY.
Side note: The Golden State Warriors totally sound like a college team to me and honestly, I thought they were until like 3 years ago. WHOOPS!
OH MY GOD BRUCE ARIANS (Coach of the Arizona Cardinals) you are history’s greatest monster!
Here are some quotables, c/o ESPN:
Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians told an assembled group of high school coaches that football is under attack and those coaching the sport need to reach mothers in particular with the message that it's safe for their sons to play.
"We feel like this is our sport. It's being attacked, and we got to stop it at the grass roots," he said. "It's the best game that's ever been f------ invented, and we got to make sure that moms get the message, because that's who's afraid of our game right now. It's not dads, it's moms."
Essentially, ol’ Bruce says FUCK YOU MOMS, your love for your child is making it difficult for me to enjoy America’s favorite pastime because you’re worried that your kid’s head is scrambled probably because it is. It really is.
Also, you WOULD say this Bruce, your son was a goddamn placekicker who barely got touched ever.
ALL FOR NOW! THAT’S SO NICE IS BACK!