Meep Moop

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

i do not think that is a squirrel

Goddamn raccoons

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

Holy Shit

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

*sends out email I've been putting off* ah finally :). ah that's a weight off my shoulders :). ah I can relax an-- *receives response to email* what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuckkkk

inshallah he will be drank