A Tan from Standing in the English Rain

We can't ibuprofen our way outta this one boys

Did you know? On average, Tesla owners are involved in collisions 18% more frequently than any other car. Research has shown this is because when I see that stupid fucking logo i floor it.

i wish that you could press how much you love your pet into their little head when you kiss their noggin. im going to cry

everyone talks about how tumblr should make an @everyone feature, but I have another proposal: an @anyone feature. this tags a few users at random and there’s no way of predicting who it will be. this will also solve nothing and make everything worse

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

did you know smores poptarts have all the nutrients needed to sustain the human body *stands up and Immediately

people who dont double text are in such mental prisons. i will text seven times if it requires it

men with earrings are just men without earrings with earrings

I can’t stop thinking about how men with earrings are just men without earrings with earrings