Not another girl who wants to be famous...

symbols, and numbers, rule the world

symbols and numbers have a much deeper meaning sometimes than you think. If you pay attention to the repeat numbers and symbols in your life, you might notice patterns or find things you didn't know before.

Numbers and symbols can be evil. therefore when confronted with evil, you should pay attention to the repeat numbers and symbols. Let that settle in your subconscious mind, but also know how to fight evil.

I could not be more EXCITED, happy, peaceful, calm, content, and glad than I am now. It is because although I have had a lot of bad news in my life, today I am receiving good news. That is the gospel of JESUS CHRIST. I can tell you it did not happen overnight. No, I can tell you I was frustrated, felt ignored, sick, overcome by defeat, misguided, and still controlled and misled astray by Satan and his army. Let me tell you, he can be defeated and HE WILL accept his defeat. He knows he is running out of time, and he is down to his last and final tricks. I can tell you the good news is the gospel of Jesus Christ. The bad news is we have to deal with Satan..but don't get discouraged. This is the journey of every Christian. Remember, faith can help you overcome EVERY SINGLE obstacle in your life.

Let me give you some examples.

Divorce, sexual assault, trauma, death, cancer, homelessness, unemployment, and practically any misfortune I can think of.

The most traumatic life experiences ( I could be wrong) from my experience of trauma are 1. Divorce, 2. Not having parents ( in correlation with homelessness, adoption, think of orphaned children, etc.), 3. Sexual assault (Rape, sexual harassment). 4. Cancer. 5. Life-threatening accident.

I put divorce as number one because although I have never been married (as part of my script for MK trauma-related programming, my parents had a bitter divorce when I was 5 years old and could be in the same room together) I believe it is THE most traumatic experience a human can go through. I believe that men/women who are divorced (long-term and short-term) need intensive therapy and empathy, and they should be guided by a law enforcement officer in court and at home as well as monitored for depression. The entire process is a nightmare and leaves a scar that is a lot harder to heal than others. In the bible, marriage is supposed to be sacred. It is a deep soulmate/love connection to your partner. I mean, it is just the person you spend the rest of your life with, share your finances with, have kids with, and sleep next to. It is also a sin to lust for/seduce another person, commit adultery, and not value your marriage. Why are you trying to seduce other men when you are married or see that they are in a commitment? Sex offenders always are hungry to molest, and want more than they can have.

A lot of times, all of these are related somehow. For example, it could be having a long marriage to an abusive spouse that you divorced and have been sexually/physically abused by. It could also be a severe illness causing loss of job, homelessness, and more depression. It is a negative cycle that is VERY hard to break and be positive.

Those are my top 5. I do not think there is anything on this earth more traumatic than these life occurrences. All of these life experiences caused PTSD> a severe and life-threatening condition that is hard to cope with and manage. A lot of times, Satan and his minions can be behind these traumatic, awful, painful experiences. This is the bad news you have in your life. Every single bad thing that has ever happened, divorce, you lost your house, you lost your job, you got diagnosed with cancer, etc. Now let's talk about the good news......

We talked about trauma, depression, sadness, PTSD, and despair. Now let's talk about the good news.

The good news is you don't have to be sad anymore. You don't have to be depressed and feel like a loser. You're NOT a loser. God gives second chances, even third if you're heart is in the right place and you receive the message. Life is hard, and satan controls everything in this world and puts obstacles in our path. Rather, ask for help.

He is there to help you. What a relief. I know I need a lot of help. He is almighty, understanding, caring, and full of knowledge and wisdom.

And the good news is.....

He sent his son JESUS CHRIST to atone for your sins and help you overcome satan.

Just think about the pain and suffering Jesus endured... I know as an MK slave who has experienced complete disassociation, suicide triggers, and unbearable pain I can relate to Jesus. One day, we will live in his paradise where there IS NO suffering or pain. And we got there through JESUS CHRIST. That is the greatest news you ever heard? I know it is. It puts a smile on my face and heals the pain in my heart. Also, Jesus is there to help. These times are the hardest you will ever experience. These trials are incredibly HARD. Remember, you are not alone. Jesus is here to save us from this awful world we live in. From hearing about rape, suicide, murder, and death.

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for a while I functioned and operated as a complete slave

dead inside 

dead in the eyes 

mind was lost 

focused on the same routines 

committing crimes I did not want to commit 

but a hostage 

a slave 

I wasn’t praying to god 

I was spiritually dead 

hell had already accepted me and I felt the burn 

the heat 

the loneliness, isolation, and despair 

all the bad people go to a bad place because they’re no good 

and there’s nothing there but torment 

and fire, and they will burn 

they see in his eyes the wrath of his fury 

that he unleashed on them 

everyday they know that they are not god 

His name is Jehovah

and he has saved me. I was a rebellious, lost child 

sick in the mind and abandoned 

and he did not abandon me anymore 

it took a while for me to repent 

years of living in denial 

denial that the way I was living was right 

it wasn’t 

I thought I could live a life without him..but that is a spiritually dead life 

and I would be as dead 

as the soulless people whose fate led them to hell 

led by their own ignorance, blindness, sin, and because they rejected the gospel and did not have faith. 

I will not be spiritually dead 

operating only on a low vibration 

ignorant of how easy life is for me 

how privileged I am 

the only way I can come back to life from the dead is through Jesus Christ 

he is my savior 

the atonement is what cleansed me of sin 

the missionaries led me to the church 

and I finally, broke out of my stubbornness 

and made the decision that would ultimately seal my fate-the decision to be baptized and accept the Holy Spirit 

Had it not been for my baptizing I would still of been a wanderer, stranger, 

a lost soul 

The answer was always there I was just led astray