â donât invite any jackasses. â
â  ninth grade skirt in an eleventh grade body⌠perfect.  â
â my pants ripped. this is literally all i had. â
â these are my back-up back-ups! â
â seriously though, cover up. like, iâm trying to drive here. â
â how about i relax your face? â
â i did not think that through. â
â any excuse for a fight, right? â
â i donât start fights, okay? i only finish them. â
â no one should treat a girl like that, especially if that girl is you. â
â never great to hear your childhood crush say itâs super gross in your pants. â
â seriously?! you wanna go down that road?! â
â i just played out the whole sexist conversation in my head and it always ended with me sounding like a dick. â
â that skirt is ridiculous. â
â i am upset. dude touched my lady-bump. â
â did she say anything about me? â
â did you tell her about my cute dimples? â
â i canât believe you actually gave him your number. â
â i think iâm gonna go out with him⌠unless you think i shouldnât. â
â my heart is beating so fast. â
â you can be so sweet when you want to be. â
â is my butt too big? â
â youâre way too good for him. â
â i heard heâs got three nipples. â
â are you kidding me? i live for this shit. â
â iâm sorry i stood you up. i really did want to go out with you. â
â he told me that it wouldnât be smart if i showed up for our date tonight. â
â heâs been going around asking all of the guys not to ask you out for awhile now. â
â no boobs are worth a broken nose. â
â my boobs are fantastic. some would say breath-taking! â
â you still got a lot to learn, kiddo. â
â if you were here, iâd beat you with my shoe. â
â it is not your job to monitor my dating life, do you understand me? â
â your days of controlling my life are over! â
â iâm not gonna get on that thing like one of your make-out girls! â
â okay, so like 95% of them make out with me, but that is clearly not whatâs happening here. â
â no, you wonât see me there because i told you not to come to the party! â
â better get used to disappointment! â
â sorry i ruined your make-out sesh. â
â she kind of tasted like cheetos anyway. â
â oh my god, that was savage! â
â youâll love this! it tastes like pink! â
â between us, he basically does whatever i tell him. â
â are youâ are you a girl princess or a boy princess? â
â you were about to strip on the pool table in front of a bunch of guys and then go skinny dipping. â
â i carried you out before too much of your clothes came off. â
â oh, and you threw up on your dress. â
â iâm assuming this means you saw me in my underwear. â
â i said stop wiggling! â
â arenât you forgetting something? â
â just get out, dork. â
â never let me drink again. â
â put your shirt on and get out. â
â i told you to stop telling me what to do. â
â i know we donât really see eye-to-eye on things, but iâm desperate. â
â wow, the independent (name here) who doesnât want to be told what to do by anyone is begging somebody else for help? â
â it is what it is. â
â i just thought that itâd be nice for you to do something for people who care about you. â
â everyone just saw that, didnât they? â
â oh my god, kill em now. â
â oh, come on. relax. it was just a kiss. â
â was it? was it just a kiss? â
â if you canât tell your best friend about something youâre doing, you probably shouldnât be doing it. â
â i cannot just be another one of your conquests. â
â is that what you think of me? â
â you are the only girl who doesnât fall at me feet and itâs driving me crazy. â
â itâs one of the things that i like about you⌠youâre sweet, but youâre not afraid to call me out on things. â
â i donât know what any of this means. â
â did that clear anything up? â
â iâm still mad at you, but i am cold as shit! â
â and you are taking me home. now! â
â you know, i meant what i said. â
â iâm crazy about you. â
â youâre cute when youâre bossy. youâre really, really cute. â
â youâre cute when youâre bossy. â
â youâre really, really cute. â
â itâs not like anyoneâs going to think i have a girlfriend or anything. â
â oh yeah, god forbid anyone actually thinks youâre in a relationship. â
â i was watching porn. â
â weâre all fucked up in one way or another. â
â you think i can change? â
â i donât think thereâs much you canât do. â
â is there something going on between you two? â
â you were never meant to find out this way. â
â youâre trying to tell me that you two have not slept together? â
â so you really have just been fucking my brother and lying to me. â
â this is bullshit. â
â youâre acting like a hurt, little bitch. â
â please donât leave like this. â
â the only thing i had that he didnât was you⌠and now he has that too. â
â you cannot pin this all on me. â
â just leave me alone. â
â no matter how mad you are at your best friend, you have to forgive them if you give them ice cream. â
â i wanted to apologize. about everything. i shouldnât have let it happen. it was all my fault. â
â iâm not sorry that it did happen or the way i feel about you. â
â because i love you. â
â i canât keep hurting people that i care about because of you. â
â nobody wants us to be together. â
â what do you want? â
â i love you and i always, always want to be close to you. â
â being my best friend doesnât give you the right to tell me who i can love. â
â iâm saying that i love you and i want you. â
â iâm sorry if that hurts you and iâm so sorry that i lied to you before. â
â iâd be lying to you again if i didnât tell you that i love him with every bit of my heart. â
â if you just canât accept that then maybe you canât be a part of my life. â
â i was going to leave, but i decided i had to see you one last time before i went. â
â thanks for staying a little longer. â
â i want to know what it was that you had to tell me. â
â iâm saying i love you. â
â that is way too cheesy and romantic. even for me. â
â you wear superman boxers? â
â look! youâre blushing. how cute! â
â i save you and now youâre trying to blackmail me? â
â sounds so tawdry when you put it that way, but yes. â
â i think she might even let me play with her boobies later. â
â youâre picking boobies over my awesomeness? â
â boobies. my answer is always gonna be boobies. â