is this gonna get me fired you think

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shark vs the universe

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Misplaced Lens Cap
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
Noah Kahan
occasionally subtle
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
KIROKAZE
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Cosimo Galluzzi
Game of Thrones Daily
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@thaliatimsh
is this gonna get me fired you think

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Not to make an extremely "Tumblr's Aging Userbase" post but WHY can my WASHING LINE not handle my FUCKIGN LAUNDRY
welcome back victorian era cross-writing!
maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

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i have to do stuff to get results
This is why I have TikTok
Multitool item.
[âWeâve supported the table with a landmine đâ
âFucking what? What if it fucking blows?â
âWe have another one.â]
i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'
Count Binface oozes more confidence and charisma in this 52 second clip than Farage ever has in his entire life and I'm actually going to be genuinely upset if he doesn't win.
ok, I don't think enough people have been discussing Binface's sexiest policy:

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being an adult is always like i have to go to the store i have to go to the store i have to go to the store
Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?
Let me explain:
Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.
Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.
Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.
He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.
Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.
To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.
Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.
But. There is another option.
COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.
Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.
Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.
But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.
Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.
I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.
Hey OP, love your scalding take here; don't forget about commutes.
Once you factor in commute times (which even for short distances can be grotesquely inflated due to the fact that so many people are all commuting at the same time, but that's a different conversation) many people are actually devoting upwards of 10-12 hours a day on "work related tasks."
Most infuriating part of writing is having an idea and thinking oh, this is gonna be so good and wanting to IMMEDIATELY share the vision with other people because it's gonna be good but then you start writing it down and - it is gonna be good. Except. It is also gonna take so, so, so long to finish. And in the meantime. You are the only one with The Vision. Alone. Losing your mind. đ

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my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella
"Does it ever get dark here?"