T.O.D-ART

WARNING: THIS REVIEW WILL HAVE SO MANY SPOILERS. MOVE FORWARD WITH IT.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

 INTRODUCTION

Before anything, I have to say that I have never watched the gameplay nor have I played the game. When I heard of this movie, I wanted to mostly watch it to support Markiplier. So, after the trailer came out, I decided to withhold myself from watching the gameplay and go blind to the movies because I wanted to see if it would or could work for an audience who didn’t know anything about the game. I’m sure there will be plenty of criticisms by now and such, but this one is mine DAMMIT!

In the review I will go through different aspects of the movie as a movie and not super focused on the video game since, as of the writing of this, I have still not watched the gameplay, I only read the synopsis of the videogame after watching the movie.

To be fair, there’s not much to differ except for the names of the characters and more plot points because, as far as I’m concerned, the videogame is more click and point type of game with no actual plot, just actions.

DIRECTING, WRITING AND ACTING

To begin with, this movie is not only directed but also written AND acted by Mark Fischbach, AKA Markiplier. The idea of a one-person movie is fantastic yet a nightmare for a few people, I’ve only seen a few examples of movies that take only one set and few characters to work on the story, because, usually, that concept can be quite difficult to master by a team and to be enjoyed by an audience.

Take for example, for this type of one-scenario movie, ‘The Rope’ by Hitchcock. Everything happens in one place/scenario, technically presented as a one theatric set, with only one camera and very few angles and movements, but with so many characters to work off the story and changing a few aspects of the environment to let you know the passing of time and create suspense regarding what will happen with the main 2 characters.

In contrast, this movie takes place in just one single space and with, mostly, one character: Simon (Mark Fischbach). There’s no change of space, as in, there’s no other environment, only the submarine. In first instance, you’d think there are no more characters to work off the story, at least after being introduced to the general and then, promptly, submerging Simon again into the blood ocean, but even then there is a very useful prop: the communicator.

Through it we can hear multiple characters speak to Simon. We have Ava, the general who places him into the Iron Lung, we have one of the commanders who speaks with Simon when Ava is not available at the moment, and we have the hallucinations he has later on. This is a great way to keep us hanging alongside Simon, because there is a point where the communication gets cut and we are just as hungry for answers as Simon is. It’s an excellent suspense inducing prop.

For the acting, Mark has come a long way ever since he started to do skits. Let’s remember that he has tried acting several times and with very much high success in my opinion. He has created hilarious characters that slowly have turned into compelling multifaceted characters as he grew and expanded on his diverse type of content, learning how to build up worlds and backgrounds for each of his characters, such examples are in his Multiple Option adventures series like Who Killed Markiplier?, A Date with Markiplier and A Heist with Markiplier.

Creative naming aside, I believe his success on those are mostly because he is a good entertainer rather than being particularly… Good at acting. Don’t get me wrong, I do think he was hilarious and entertaining, however it is vastly different to act as an exaggerated version of himself rather than a whole completely different character.

HOWEVER, his acting has been evolving for a while as well, and even his ‘alter egos’ have gone through an amount of work in their backstories (examples such as Darkiplier, known as Damien before, and Wilford Warfstache). So, it makes a lot of sense that, in his first ever movie, he shows off more of his acting skills and takes it a little bit more seriously. He is compelling, believable and really takes you for a ride, I think it’s mostly because one would expect him to play a joke in the middle of anguishing moments, like he does in his gameplays, but that doesn’t happen at all. This is not a skit, this is not a goofy ‘ha ha Lixian fix this’ moment, we see exactly how serious the situation for the character is. This is not Mark. This is Simon, and he is going through an actual, visceral and agonizing hell.

In terms of the other characters we get, since we don’t see actual acting but rather hear them, I would call it voice acting. You can hear the anger, the desperation, the anguish. The actors who played these characters did such a good job making it more immersive, I think their voices added to the isolating and claustrophobic feelings to the main character. The last bits of humanity are being transferred through a speaker, there’s no warmth, there’s no comfort, just orders and anger, then it transforms into desperation, and then a call for action and hope. Ironic.

Now the story is rather understandable, we do not necessarily need to know why there is an ocean of blood, nor why they are there. The main focus is basically ‘we are here, we need to do this to survive, deal with it’, simple horror adventure. We get clues later on regarding the background of humanity and even Simon, which is good for us who want to know more, however, Simon’s backstory is not fleshed out a lot, we get snippets of what happen, and its implied and almost confirmed that whatever happened in the previous ship he was in, might’ve caused the issue the general is trying to solve.

The clues are there, you must piece together what happened and what is going on or what Simon is doing, you just need to think about the details, you just have to THINK. I actually like the mystery and the intrigue of what happened to him and what happened to his previous crew, but I did not particularly like the flashbacks, because it took a bit of that intrigue, I wanted to just speculate the scene, not being flashed with it.

Besides that flashback, a few details and backstory are still a bit in the mystery side and I think people might have an issue with that because we are used to having other characters explain what happened, what is going on or what is going to happen or, at least, have more POVs, having a different character overexplained what will happen or their purpose. But in this film, all we have is Simon’s POV and we do not have more characters with him nor with the communicator since it gets cut off after going too deep in the blood ocean, and even when it was functional, they don’t even want to tell Simon anything because it would compromise the mission.

We only have Simon and he doesn’t know much either, only what he experienced on a different ship, that he is a convict of a crime and that he wants to be free; and later on, we see what he sees around that blood ocean. You might want more, but there’s nothing else. We have to move forward with Simon, no cut scenes to what the general is doing, nor what happened to that guy who got flashed with radiation, only Simon and his surviving.

PHOTOGRAPHY

Well, one thing you will very much see is the different angles taken to make the movie more enjoyable. Like I said, making a movie in one single space is both fascinating and a nightmare, not many people would sit and watch something like that, since in concept sounds very boring, that’s one reason why the FNAF movie didn’t go that route (and honestly for the best, but that’s for a different writing).

The angles help emphasize the feelings of the character, even though there are so many it really does help drive the movie forward, having a special focus on the actions and the emphasis on reactions and little details like condensation and drips. It helps you immerse yourself in the environment Simon is living in at that moment, the dire situation he is in and how hard he’s working on surviving. It also helps us to not get bored with only one POV, we have great normal shots that help either emphasis the characters expression or help us see what’s around the character. We also have the ‘impossible’ shots, which are the shots that cannot usually be seen through a normal human eye, like the super close up shot of the condensation or the hands when he is working on moving the ship. Those types of shots emphasize the importance of what he is doing, especially during situations in which he is losing hope and a bit of himself, the hardship he’s surviving and also the passing of time, or rather the lack of it.

These angles also help the story by making it abundantly clear that not only is Simon not ok, but the ship is also off. Something bad is happening to the ship and he doesn’t have enough time.

SOUND AND MUSIC

For this part, I did listen to the OST of the game because I wanted to know how inspired the soundtrack is from it, I saw that there were very few songs for the game itself, and a bunch of songs for the soundtrack.

Now, my main peeve, because it is a peeve, about the music is not necessarily the music on itself, it’s the fact that some songs are played in parts that are not as dire or as necessarily important to be played. For example, at the beginning of the film the music would make you believe it is in the middle of action but not the type that is mechanical but rather a more horrible and stressful, action-induce situation, for example, fighting to survive. Although it is stressful because the main character is being submerged (literally the name of the song), we just see the main character focusing on speaking with someone and being submerged.

Songs and melodies are the presentation card for the introduction of any film. It helps us get into the mood of what kind of movie it will be, and although the songs are really great in giving us the ambience, the song used at the beginning is a bit off with how the tempo of the scene is going. The scene is too slow and less melodramatic to have that song placed in it, it seems too intense for my liking. I found this song distracting to what was happening, which is funny in retrospective because it felt I was missing some part and it was just the beginning, like I came in the room when the movie was halfway (even though I came to the movie theater hours before it started).

The other songs are more appropriate to the following scenes: the contrast of the beginning just threw me off a bit. Later in the film, the music blends way better and does fit way more accordingly. Maybe ‘Claustrophobic’ or ‘Blinded by Blood’ would’ve fit better with the slowness but those fit in their respective scenes.

Other than that, which seems more a thing regarding editing than the music on itself, the music is terrific, I do believe Andrew Hulshult did an amazing job capturing the essence of the videogame, giving us a claustrophobic ambience and sensation. The music combining mechanical reverbs and echoes does place us with the character, maybe it would bring nostalgia to those who did play the game, because from listening to the OST and the Soundtrack, it does sound pretty similar. The horrible feeling of being submerged against your will, the sensation of being observed, the combination of wet sounds and slushing around, it gave me a bit of tingling disgusting sensation.

I’d say, he turned blood into music, and I hate it (love it)

I do know that the sound design was worked on by Andrew Hulshult but it was ALSO worked by Brad Engleking. They both did an incredible and amazing work on the sound, in a meme-like way to describe it: I can hear the filth. I cannot describe it in other ways, just like how you see colors and want to taste it, most things would emit a sound, and they somehow accomplished making me feel uncomfortable with making blood sound thicker than it is in a visceral way. I would never want to hear blood dripping and sipping into something, only to be then see it and not be able to pinpoint where in the hell it comes from.

MAKE UP, COSTUMES AND ART (SCENARIO)

I cannot put into normal words how incredible the makeup, the effects, the art and the scenarios are. Better go into parts because I have a lot to say.

Although some of the make-up details are complicated to see, since it was rather dark but not obscenely dark like other horror movies, I believe they did an incredible job when it came to several bruises, cuts, sweat and condensation. Having the perfect image for how horribly claustrophobic and hot that place can be is challenging, I imagine the set getting way too messy for those shots and having to not only clean up but also having to redo some scenes. It really is a lot of work, but they accomplished the perfect nightmare of a blood submarine.

Talking about blood, that is…quite a lot of blood. I mean, it had to be. The ocean is literally made of human blood (or something similar to human blood). I have to see the behind scenes because I know for sure that was the most challenging part. Like I said before with the condensation, which is WATER that could cause damage to the imagery and materials used in the scenario, I cannot stress enough how BLOOD, a staining mix, could potentially mess everything up.

Just like how the god damn shark in Jaws was malfunctioning in water, because it was an animatronic, having to deal with buckets and buckets and BUCKETS of blood and not spill it or not let it sip through all the mechanics and background or having to store it or buy more after one use, was probably a hassle and I cannot fathom the amount of love- Not only love, but commitment that it took everyone to make this perfect.

Also putting themselves in unhealthy ways to get the perfect shots and doing those same shots over and over again just to have the best of them. I remember reading that Mark got an eye infection for how much blood got in his eyes. This whole movie is a work of commitment and art.

Then again, a lot of scenes are organized to be filmed in a more efficient way, so probably all the blood shots were taken at the same time to minimize the issues by staining the whole set. Still having to handle all that, is quite astonishing to me, which is why, and I cannot stress this enough, I have a huge respect for people who work in the art department, because not only are they responsible for some, if not of all the props used by all the characters, they have to maintain continuity for every single part of the movie to not break the illusion of the scene.  I did not notice issues with continuity with the bruises, the costume or even the blood. Then again, I would have to rewatch it to see if there were, but if I didn’t catch it first glance, then I believe they did a good job. (Quick note: I have noticed a few details in different movies, like placement of actors, sometimes a stain or something in their hair. It’s not a superpower or anything, just the eye of someone who studied this. I believe there are people with no degree that have WAY better eye than I).

The subtle details of the submarine getting turned into a mess of veins, flesh and blood are the type of background storytelling I love. These details enhance the story, not only are we seeing and hearing this character being desperate, but we also see WHY that desperation is attributed to. Of course, we see he is fighting against time since his oxygen is getting lower and lower, but when we learnt the oxygen is no longer an issue, and it’s on itself the god damn submarine, that’s where the new horror begins, as it feels the machine is about to consume Simon.

When it comes to the design of the creature and the design of the pictures/x rays, I have no words.

The creature is fascinating and mysterious, as well as horrifyingly disgusting. I would love a plushy of that one, thank you. Due to the x rays being granulated and blurry in a way, its hard to see the creature in all its glory, but if we did saw it fully I think we would’ve lost the horror factor, not because it isn’t scary but rather because we would lose the mystery of something down there, and then the horrifying truth of something alive in there but not being able to see it wouldn’t have been as impactful.

The X rays are one very creative way to move forward in the story. A mechanism used to travel since Simon uses it to pinpoint where he is, which is something I think Mark liked about the video game. He transferred that concept into the story, explained it and the people working on the art department delivered it. I’m not quite sure how to describe it.

The granulated, almost blurry pictures, continuous pictures of something lurking, or even just pictures of what the backgrounds are… Imagine finding those pictures on their own, that’s its own storytelling, the suspense emanating of those pictures.  Beautiful horrifying creepiness lurking in oceans of blood. Astonishing. If I had to compare it to something, just to have another way to explain why this is a scary and suspensive situation, it would be Slenderman’s drawings. You don’t know what that is at the beginning, you just have bits and pieces of what it could be, but when you realize what it is or what you think it is, it might be a little too late.

EDITING

Not much to say other than Mark and his team blew up their computers editing this movie.

The cuts aren’t jarring, the movie flows naturally and is very enjoyable. Thanks to the diverse angle shots and to several spaces to let the us have the information sink it, there is no boring moment in the whole movie.

The only parts that felt rather odd were bits and pieces of Simon’s backstory. When those flashbacks appear, they happen when the character is having a lack of oxygen hallucinations. The situation is possibly the only perfect spot for the character to have these types of memories; however, it doesn’t land if the idea is to show more of the character’s past. Pieces are here and there throughout the whole movie, which create an intrigue to his backstory, something for us to piece together but the flashbacks don’t create much for me, they were inconsequential to the story.

We know that there was a ship prior to these people landing in this blood moon, and it blew up alongside the last tree. Does that matter for the present story? Not really, at least not for the characters present. Does it give dept to Simon? Yeah, but I like it more when there is a space for your mind to wander. The movie doesn’t spoon feed you with information, it gives you a chance to think of the ‘what ifs’. and leave a bit of mystery. The flashbacks take back the mystery, I really don’t believe they give anything that we haven’t figured out.

It doesn’t give me more than what we are getting through his entire experience in that hell of a submarine.

CONCLUSION

Now, is it perfect? No, I have pointed out a few peeves I have of it, is it good? Yeah. For me, it was a pretty good, sci-fi horror film. It stands pretty well on its own. I believe if you show it to someone who doesn’t know about Mark or Iron Lung, but enjoys sci-fi horror, will enjoy this movie as it is. Maybe the people who love Black Mirror will actually like this, it does seem something up their alley.

 There’s so much mystery in it to go through, the bits and pieces, how you are being slowly fed the information, it makes you connect dots and THINK. On this day and age, a few movies (of all genres) love to spoon feed you information, which creates lazy people in mind and heart. This one will make you want to know more, think about it more. It’s not the first one to do something like that, but rather one that we desperately needed in the pool of bullshit horror movies being barf up by Hollywood.

We need more movies like this, and I don’t mean movies made by a youtuber (god knows there are a few GOD AWFUL MOVIES OUT THERE made by youtubers), I mean movies for people made by passionate people. Sometimes passion projects don’t bloom, but I am so glad this one did.

To the core of it, this one was a love letter from the director to a video game he enjoyed thoroughly. And thanks to that love, to that passion, and to that respect, we got an intriguing movie. When you let the creative minds wander they will find their way into presenting their art, as disturbing as it may be.

We need movies that confuse you, that make you uncomfortable, that go beyond the comfort. A movie that doesn’t regurgitate bullshit. A movie that respects you enough to give you time to think and connect dots, not something that will only give you what you already have watched hundreds of times.

Let the movie consume you, let it keep you for a bit, to have your mind wandered and connect every single detail, let yourself think and be company to someone on a suicide mission to save humanity.

Sometimes the stories don’t have to have a straight path, and sometimes that path will be bath in blood.

Sincerely, a very intrigued and slightly optimistic for future movies,

If you ever want to get off the stress inducing, horrible news barfing media from either videos or rants on any plataforms that alllows people to get angry about from the most serious to the super dumb reasoning, then this comic might be for you! 

This webcomic is about the chronics of a lovely couple, the author named Fishball and aforementioned Nerd Boyfriend. SPOILER: Now Fiancé, Through the many chapters you can see what an actual healthy couple looks like, the strifes they get, their issues and how they work them with each other and a bit of their past lives prior to meeting each other.

The way the drawings and color palette are use for this webcomic can only be summarize as comfy and approachable, since reading it would make you feel like a friend is telling you an anecdote. I know there are issues with the parasocial situations, although I think comics make it a little harder for this parasocial relationships to become into an obsessive mess (just my unexpert opinion on the matter). 

Aside from that, the combination between the cartoony style to a more realistic to a VERY exagerated cartoony style can be jarring if you aren’t used to the changes in between, but this aspect benefits tremendously to the punchline of the joke, which is mostly how the characters react to a situation. For example, a bit spoilery, Nerd is very afraid of insects, so his reactions from being scared in as a person might not be as funny, unless he was drawn with a horrid expression, color fading off his face and flipping his entire body as he tries to escape a cockroach. Whenever something of the sorts are explained or shown is always a delight since they show care to each other but also banter and light jokes. 

Whenever a hard and serious subject is brought up is always in a very respectful way, very introspective as well. It will make you think about the whole situation that is currently happening since this people are living it or were living it at the moment the strips were updated. It will give you a sense of less loneliness and comfort as this people explained how they’ve been doing, specially through hardships they have experience as of late. It’s always beneficial for everyone to listen to this experiences since it looks like it helps the author as well as the readers. I would lie if I said I didn’t cry a couple of times reading this webcomic, when it hits you IT HITS YOU. 

If anything I feel this comic is like a warm cozy hug, maybe a nice coffee break, or a chill day as you lay down and think about nothing as you spend time with people you like or even a pet (because the author has a pet which is also showcased in their own section as ‘Oh Biscuit!’). 

Do give this comic a read! In a time where life has become hard and my brain is slowly but surely getting better, this comic is a refresher from the craziness from the world, the internet, and even other comics. 

This is a bit of a rant: I’ve grown into a more sensible adult, or maybe just less tolerable to be suffocated. I’ve tried just keeping my feelings to myself from time to time, I put so many expectations to other people that just made me isolate myself due to my own inability of fixing my own issues. I’m kinda in the isolate part a bit since I don’t talk to others about my issues anymore or as much. I find very comforting this kind of comics because it makes me feel like everything is ok at the moment, its a relief, its a break. I always leave this comic at the end because it calms me so much to read it, even the sad chapters. I’ve decided I wanna have an optimistic outlook in life, I wanna continue forward, I wanna experience things. This comic, along other medias have helped me have a more optimistic point of view, not only the idea of things getting better but working hard to get it better. And so far its going! I feel a bit more in control with my own things, I still have a long way to go though. I also kinda learnt a thing about me and I dont know how to really cope? Because It’s not like I have complete confirmation but it makes me believe that it explains a couple of things. In general, I just wanted to talk about this because I love this comic, I love it so much. It feels like a hug even if it sounds weird. I like when things make me feel cared in an odd way. I dont know how else to explained it. Anyway! 

My Giant Nerd Boyfriend <----- Link to webtoon comic

Lately ive been painting axolotls with watercolor

And I know its my fault for my deteriorating state. I know It Is.

I want to sleep forever in the soft floor un which I lay. Soft rocks have incrested into my sides and theres a pounding in my head that slowly calms down. I know.

I can see the sky, sparkly with little quartz that hit each other. My breathing Is slowing.

I know.

Im going to miss this.

At least my chest Is not hurting with a nonexistant injury. How odd. Having an invisible blast hole in your chest, and I hold It tight. So It doesnt keep breaking appart.

I already feel it, every part shattering. I know

I know, I know.

So this is like my first Dream SMP fanart. It took me SO FUCKING LONG but I like the end results. 

As you can see I have a soft spot for pig man Technoblade. He’s kind of my favorite streamer, but for lore I watch Tommy. I rarely watch other people like Tubbo, Philza, Ranboo, Quackity, just starting up with Karl and Hanna.

Maybe I will do some Quackity stuff because he is my other favorite lad, but I really need to go back to my other stuff. 

There are a couple of traditions we do in my family that I havent seen in other places and with one search on the internet I realize that most of the things we do are from my own country + some that we make up ourselves. 

So Im going to share them here because... Well, there’s a big-ass chance I wont be able to do them this Christmas nor New years. 

NOTE: When I say ‘my family’ in a lot of this, I mean ALL my family. Which means, all my grandparents, all my aunts, all my uncles, all my cousins, and, yes, EVEN my great grandaparents, cousins, uncles, aunts and more. Because we all know each other and we even make a party once a year for my dad’s side of the family 

Here I go:

Las Posadas

There’s this thing that we do at one of my grandparents’ house that involves singing a carol about the time Maria and Jose were looking for a place to stay to rest before travel far away for the birth of Jesus. It is a song which is singed by 2 groups, one that is inside and the other that’s outside. What we do is the following: One group goes inside a room in the house while the other stays outside the door, the group outside sings one part and the other sings the other. We go back and forward until we finish the song. It is pretty funny because no one sings well and its just like a bunch of grown ups practically screaming but we always end up chuckling. I used to think it was pointless and boring but that was because I was an edgy potato, after I enter University i began to enjoy more things and be happier. This is going to be the second time I wont be with my complete family for Christmas and now its all the family who wont be able to go to my grandparents house for a celebration. 

12 grapes, 12 wishes

In both sides of my family we usually fill up 12 grapes in a cup and give everyone 1 cup each. I dont remember what exactly the grapes meant or the story about the wishes but it’s supposedly like before it strikes 12 am on New Years, we have to eat our grapes while also wishing for something. I remember when I was younger I’d wish for peace on the world or that everything went well for everyone. I think I’m going to buy a bigger bag of grapes this year. 

Something that was funny was that everyone would just... Stuff their mouths with grapes, mostly my cousins and I, just to see how many we could fit. Not everyone wished for many things in the family because I think we all feel we had and have enough. If my family does this again on their own, I’m pretty certain their wishes would be to be able to meet with the family. 

Piñata

Every year since I was little, my grandparents buy a piñata to smash before or during Christmas. They find it such a good activity for cousins and even for my aunts, my mom and uncle. They literally havent stopped buying them, the oldest grandchild in that side of the family its in her 30s, but they still buy a piñata. I think its mostly for the youngest which are below 16, never the less, its still super funny and hilarious because we go from youngest to oldest. By the time it gets to my brother, its still intact, he only swings it once and its completely DESTROYED. We just have a lot of fun, and sometimes we make my mom or my aunts to hit it. My mom wasnt as cheery when I was a kid, but now she laughs more and when it comes to the piñata she laughs and enjoys her time even more. 

Games 

Like any gathering, all cousins bring up something we can do to entertain ourselves. At first they were toys my grandparents had for us, then it was videogames and now... Its board games. My bro is the one obsess with different boardgames and DnD and other card games. So, about 5 years ago he began bringing boardgames for all cousins to play along. We either talk with each other or try to destroy each other with any game there is. Videogames are fun but we all find it a drag to bring the console to the place, besides we usually get so busy with each others banter and weird conversations that we just forget about the videogames all together. 

At my other grandparents house it becomes W I L D. Last time someone brough a beer pong table and they all began to take shots with mezcal (I’m trying to not drink a lot of the time ever since I puked one time. If I drink its light things like wine and only one glass). Then my aunts play music and began to sing and everyone follows up, and... Well last time they began to dance.... And all my cousins were very embarassed and I was hella confused. Suffice to say, my dad’s side of the family are super freakishly energetic and wild, while my mom’s side is more of a geeky, nerdy vibe with a lot of meme stuff and political conversations at times (Oh yeah, we talk a lot of different political stuff, but guess what? It never derails into a fight. I note this due to always reading people’s talks ending with fights and stuff and that kinda weirds me out a bit at times) 

Dinners 

I don’t remember the time exactly, probably since I was 15 maybe, my dad and I turned into the designated ‘chefs’. Every year we’ve been deciding and preparing foods for each house. We make the main course while my aunts do the sides (although sometimes it becomes like 3 main courses with 2 sides). Im waaaaaaaaay into the cooking and I try to make it perfect each year. I kinda chillaxed a bit with some foods because it wasnt that big of a deal. Besides the main course, I also decide to make a dessert and sometimes they arent eaten because my families have some sugar regulations. They are stored and kept after Christmas because thats better than eating it all in one sitting and having sugar poisoning (AKA, high sugar that needs a fast Insuline injection afterwards). 

It is always fun to make food with my dad, and to make the famous Tamales from my grandma’s recipe. Last time i think we made around 400? Between green salsa chicken, red salsa beef and pork, and some that were like... its like an adobe, its with achiote and orange juice. It was very tasty. We usually make a lot and freeze them. THEY ARENT COOKED, they are raw and then frozen. Every time we take some out, we make them with vapor, takes around 2 hours and they are always tasty. I remember I made a batch all by myself, I made the feelings, I mixed the masa, and I assemble 100 by my own, the rest was thankfully made by my parents. And it was the best when I gave some to my grandma and she told me that they were super good. Of course, I made a couple mistakes, Im not perfect but she still enjoyed it with the salsa I made. Maybe I can still make some this year and give each family a batch. 

Aunt’s cookies

Every year, every god damn year... We all wait for one thing... It’s not the presents, its not the food... Its the cookies. The motherfucking cookies. My aunt has made this cookies since I was a kid, and we all fought to get a bunch of them. She has made choco chip with nuts cookies every year without missing. And they always end before Christmas even hits. She once gave me frozen batch so I can cook them at home and she told me ‘Dont tell anybody’. Of course I cannot not tell anyone since I live with my parents and siblings but when I made them I made sure to make them when my dad wasnt home. Not only because Im a gluttonous fuck but because my dad is diabetic and he shouldnt be eating anything like that. 

It used to be a battle royal between my cousins, now its a battle against my uncles cause they LOVE TO FUCKING HIDE THE BIG ASS CONTAINER. I swear, i only got 1 or 2 god damn cookies last time. 

Breakfast at...Lunch at...

After Christmas, we always go eat at my grandparents house. Always. And it’s, most of the time, Menudo. The most delicious food you can make with cow stomach. It’s my grandpa’s recipe and it’s always good. Meanwhile, we lunch at my grandma’s house the leftovers of yesterdays dinner which it varies if its turkey or pork but it always ends up as a torta. Delicious, leftover, tortas. 

We end up... SUPER CONSTIPATED because you eat menudo with bread, and you make tortas with bread, and we all eat bread and like... A LOT. Its hella good but well... THERE ARE CONCEQUENCES!! 

I think thats all, at least the most relevant parts. There’s also The Toast of El Bohemio, the stupidity and over eating i do for fun for some cousins, the conversations that go from super deep to stupidity with cousins, the music we play, the hugs... 

THE HUGS

When its the New Year, we scream out HAPPY NEW YEAR. And we proceed to hug each and everyone, one time I waited to see everyone and they all were very very happy. Its something I didnt realize before, but that was a happy thing all the time. Last year we event celebrated with other family, most of this reunions are compose with the nuclear family, but we arent shy about involving more family or friends. So last year not only included some family and their friends, we also included a 2 new members of the family: My newborn cousin and my cousin’s now husband. 

It was like.. One of the best beginnings... Which kind of... didnt prepared us for what this...sucky year. 

I’m sure we’ll make it ok... I sure hope so, I wanna see my grandparents again... I wanna see my baby cousin, he is babbling and has already learned to walk. The little dude doesnt have cousins to play with anymore, I wanna make sure he doesnt confuse me by his aunt ajjajajaja. I want to talk to my cousins, I want to hug them and scream with them and eat with them all. 

But maybe this year it wont happen, and I rather it not happening than loosing any of them. 

Right now I cant smell, and everything hurts, but it kinda helps ease things when i remember this and when I think they all are still kinda healthy. 

Maybe when it all passes we can make a march reunion, to celebrate my grandma’s birthday. In the meantime, I’m going to try to get better and wish for this Christmas to not suck now that It’s only my main family and I. 

Hope everyone is safe, I hope you can at least see your parents or siblings. I hope you dont get sick nor have to spend time at a hospital or anything. I hope all who are, get help and dont get worse. I hope you all get better. 

Gorey Ink

Day 9: Chef

PB genderbend! I was thinking how different she’d look if she was a man. Honestly im not really good with genderbends JSKDASJKDA. Here he is! Cooking stuff.