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It would be awesome if we could just record silence and blast it through a speaker to make the entire room quite

In the case of sudden and inevitable apocalypse, procrastinators are our last hope: they can do insane amount of work done in almost impossible deadline

After using the toilet people clean themselves with toilet paper. If any other part of your body had shit on it you wouldn’t just give it a wipe and think it’s clean.

Vampires would be way more popular if they sucked fat.

Whoever finally started printing the 1” x 1” grid on the back side of wrapping paper deserves a damn Nobel Peace Prize.

I hate English

English might seem complicated, but it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Fuck you

Mixing sweet and salty flavors is perfectly normal. Nobody bats an eye when they buy caramel and sea salt ice cream, but they apparently lose their damn minds when you slap some delicious pineapple and ham on a pizza.

It would be awesome if we could just record silence and blast it through a speaker to make the entire room quite

English isn’t a language, it’s three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat.

Maybe Latin died out because they kept summoning demons.

Marvel could continue Stan Lee cameos by inserting photos of him at random places and scenes in every future Marvel film and create a “Finding Stan” cameo that will continue his tradition.

Baby gates are the IRL version of an area being locked due to your character’s experience level

Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors

If you place a hourglass horizontally, it resembles the symbol for infinity and time stops ticking.