TGA GOSSIP

Let’s dive right in like 90% of you were doing last night, shall we?

I think we’ve all seen and read what the “professional journalist” had to say and quote as The Academy’s most prevalent events, but of course I am here to differ; not beg to differ, I’d never beg, just differ. 

Vic and Roderick are a good place to start, with that public serenading. What do you think you boys are, peacocks? Swans in swain? “ Last night a little dancer came dancin' to my door“ sounds like sex to me, people.

Speaking of public serenades, Ross and Blake come to mind. Did anyone else catch that not-so-private 1x1 concert in the halls? 

Lillian and Ashton & Eleanor and Kady; Lions and tigers and bears, oh my. This one is a fun one. It’s no surprise that our resident Perfect Princess has a flock to lead and a flock of suitors. Ashton was no surprise, that old fling started back up instantly. Though with their opposite ideals, it’s hard to see how they got started and how it’ll continue. Lillian’s return has brought the softer side of Sears out of her. Kady is the Monster Domme that hits all of the buttons for the type of Domme Eleanor would go for and it looks like Kady has her eye on her. 

Dallas and Johnny are boring, but there’s got to be a reason why they’ve kept themselves locked up and so private. A secret meth lab? 

Two-Bit and Adrian are an interesting development, and one I have to admit my psychic third eye did not predict. Me not knowing absolutely everything at all times, even before it ends, is a once in a lifetime event so drink it up.

Omar & Patrick & Theo -- this is another messy one. Omar and Patrick clearly have unaddressed history that keeps being brought up and swept away. Theo came in and showed Omar what interest in a person looks like and now they’re official, but is Patrick done? From what I hear out of Spain, he doesn’t usually take “I have a boyfriend” for an answer and if he actually wants someone, he fights for them. And he fights xxx dirty. 

Nick and Harold; cute but another quiet couple aside from the strange, strange fact that Harold almost killed Nick. But that’s none of my business-- except for when I want it to be. 

Speaking of weird, Nick and Hunter both disappeared the moment they officially got together. I think they formally melted together as one. If you see Optimus Prime on campus and look deep into his robotic eyes, you might see a twinkle of what was formerly known as Nick. Or perhaps Hunter.

Gabriel and Gigi; more history has been had here, not that Gabriel remembers it, stay tuned. I bet Nikolai is fuming, and also pretty mad at himself for picking an absentee blonde that seems to have ditched out on him for a second time over the one that’s actually present. 

Alice and Jules, it’s a good thing Alice has a good head on her shoulders, that one likes trouble and has no problem searching it out. 

Parker and everyone-- who here doesn’t have a love story with Parker St. James? I myself was able to sneak into his room a few nights ago with my man suit on and we played a few rounds around the hole. 

Lucas and Madison. Now onto the couple that isn’t-- Are they really a couple though? Madison seems to have disappeared.

The tumors that were removed from my left and right tit have more potential than most of you. I nominate myself for all three categories. If you have any problems, you can take it up with my mom. I dare you.

I smell the thick, sweet scent of post-coital regret soaking the air. If we could just skip this part and get back to the fireworks, I demand to be entertained again.

We’ll start with the Smythes, they think they own the whole campus anyway, might as well jump on the bandwagon, right? We’ve got the pack leader in McKinley, sulking in the shadows. How many people want to bet on him plotting something? That one is the Energizer Dom, he just keeps going, and going, and going, and going... His twins are usually followers, but they seem to be full of chaotic energy when it comes to what direction they’re moving in and it’s kind of funny to see the sheep scatter. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the incesty vibes. Talk about preserving the bloodline. Though Liam Sterling has been seen heading to Beau Smythe’s dorm at McKinley late, late at night and Keith Mathews has been seen with Remy Smythe. Sebastian gets along with few people, but those that he does, he’s probably trying to fuck.

Speaking of incest, the McCarthy twins are back. That’s the whole announcement.

Which leads me to the juicy tidbits from the Abrams and Eliot-Abrams clan- and I do mean tidbits; Zoe is probably plotting her next apocalypse and Malakai hasn’t been seen or heard from in days and the only thing he said to his step brother, Ambrose, was “fuck off” and honestly, I can get behind that kind of attitude. Trust me, the holidays are here and unlike the imposter, The Grinch, my heart shrank three sizes this day, as it should. And, well, the only Submissive here from that family is always quiet and unassuming when his brother is here too. It’s an interesting dynamic.

Did anyone else see Elliott Anderson getting into fights with all three Smythes, rabid Chihuahua style? That not boy’s grudge skills are top tier, I’ll give him that. He’s right though, it is pretty weird that Remy thinks he owns the art studio, it’s a public space and Elliott has logged just as many hours in there as Smythe has. And if I’m honest, which we all know will give me hives, Anderson has done more for the art studio and the art club in his time there. He took the club captain spot and made sure people felt welcome there, it was sickening. Darrean Anderson is clearly jealous of all of the attention his not brother gets and has decided to moonlight as a crossdresser. If you’re out in the courtyard on a full moon, you might see him out there with blue garage door eyeshadow from lid to eyebrow and stripper heels that are almost big enough to make you look like a real boy, Pinocchio. Back to Elliott, he’s been spending time with David Karfosky recently, who has done nothing else worth noting. 

Speaking of old money, I’m interest in the Hayward household. What does James’ sister think about him pretending to not be part of the family? You mad, sis?

Dorsey Rose was seen heading to Reginald Huggins’ dorm over at McKinley, to the surprise of nobody. 

Eleanor Flanagan is back with a bang, and not the fun kind. It looks like this little firecracker is still throwing the stereotypes away and taking the position of Joan of The Traditional Submissive Arc. This is the girl that ties with Zoe for Most Likely To Have A Stab Count, in my book.

Genevieve Sterling comes in as a polar opposite, disrespecting everyone she talks to and not getting punished by a single one of the spineless fools she exposes. This isn’t new for her, though it seems she’s gotten better at picking targets that won’t strike back than last time.

After waging war with the Smythes, and then crafting a peace treaty with one of them as if that would hold any water with the other two with Beau being the natural born leader of the three, Gaston Lefevre seems to be pretty close to getting his claim back. He’ll just have to hope he gets to collar Lorelai Lefevre before any houses drop on their yellow brick road.

I’ve done some digging and Daithi Pearce is the secret son of infamous mob boss, 'Lucky' Luciano. Hold onto your panties, because it is also rumored that his last Submissive disappeared mysteriously. But how mysterious is a rug thrown in a river really?

Campbell Clarington is forming a harem, ladies and gentleman, so you’ll probably want to DM her immediately to apply for a position before the three dozen man crew is full.

Riley Puckerman doesn’t want you to know that she secretly broke her leg three days ago and has been walking on it like the Bionic Woman since, with no medical attention. She’s looking for suitors, so you probably want to get on that too. 

And I definitely didn’t make any of this up because some of you are just too boring to have anything worth gossiping about, because you’re all boring. But if I did, nobody would ever believe you because some of this is the truth.

Obviously, I am LOVING IT HERE.

We all know that if it’s in print, it’s guaranteed to be accurate. (And I will sue anyone that wants to argue that with me.) Gossip is proven to release endorphins, which makes for happier (and also much, much sadder) children. Sue Sylvester stands for nothing if not pointing out the flaws in the general population as a whole. So send me some juicy little tidbits, so that I can house your teen-dream sex drama in the privacy of the world-wide web. But keep in mind, I take this seriously, so don’t send me any lukewarm rumors. If it doesn’t hurt, I’ve got nothing to gain.

What am I here for? Your nightmares have been answered, you herd of single digit IQs. You are free to send in your thoughts and opinions on everyone and everything around you, and of course I’ll comment on absolutely anything and everything that I feel like talking about because... I feel like it, and that’s all the reason I need. Now go sandblast yourself in the face.