perhaps this is a little niche, but could i please get a one shot where scout takes pauling over to his family’s house just to hang out and pauling meets his mom and has a gay awakening? thinking it could be a little humorous. thank you in advance!
Lesbian Pauling for the win!!
“Okay, heads up, my brother Robbie is a bit of an asshole. Don’t leave your purse alone with him. Oh, and Parker is a mega vegan. Like, the kind who guilt trips you everyday.” Scout warns Miss Pauling as they drive to his house. The two had taken a long break from one another after she gave a violent ‘No’ to Scout asking her out for the 80th time.
It was awkward, hell, painful even for Scout to hear her voice for contracts. The voice that, in a fit of frustration, very clearly pointed out every flaw in him. From the surface of his mediocre appearance to the depths of his narcissism, Pauling had to be absolutely sure that Scout would finally stop hitting on her. A rant she apologized for a few days later before they agreed to keep anything between them strictly professional for the time being.
Its a few months later now, and the two carefully built a friendship. No ulterior motives, no briefcase alarms being set off for dates, just two people existing as friends. It was a massive relief on both of their ends. Scout was finally able to meet a girl who was head over heels for him, which was evident by the photographs filling his wallet. For Pauling, she was able to hold a real conversation with the man without fighting to not sound too friendly.
“Oh, I’m well aware. I did an extensive background check on your family before you were hired. You have a third cousin in Nantes.” Scout, having no idea where that is, simply nods and takes out his wallet to admire his beautiful girlfriend.
Pauling parks along the curb seeing how crowded the driveway was. Cars ranging from neat business class vehicles to a sunflower oil hippie van to a beater on its last legs fill the pavement and pour into the road. Walking towards the house, neither of them have a chance to knock on the door before it swings wide open.
“Germy’s home!!” Robbie loudly announces with his younger brother, Hunter, jumping onto his back. While the two move aside to wrestle by the stairs, Parker steps into view. His wool sweater, up-cycled jeans, and sandals are the same from when Pauling did her background check. As in, stalking every family member to insure that no one would cause any trouble if Scout was hired.
“Well, you must be Miss Pauling. Tell me, do you think animals are—“ Before Parker can finish, Hunter is thrown onto him. The two crash to the floor, one laughing and the other groaning in pain. It was Robbie who threw Hunter, and now he looks at them in his tattered hoodie and stained jeans.
“Pauling? The girl that said she wouldn’t date you ever? Never ever? Not even if you were dead? That Pauling?” An obnoxious laugh. Scout grumbles, shoving past his older brother as they walk into the house. He’s immediately met with Robbie stealing his hat and grinding a knuckle into his head.
“Lighten up, loser! I’m just messing around. You’ve always been a sensitive little baby.” Ever since Scout was added to the massive family, he was known as the crybaby. Always ready to throw a tantrum and run into mommy’s arms because, as the baby, he should be comforted the most.
“Ma! Robbie’s bullying me again!” Scout bolts towards the kitchen, ready to play his role. The youngest sibling who can do no wrong and is always doted on. While Robbie runs after him, Pauling is guided to the living room where the remaining siblings are. Each one she recognizes in an instant.
Lawrence sits in a neat suit; the one he typically wears for out of office parties or when he wins a lawsuit and wants to celebrate. Dean is next to him in ironed slacks; the ones he wore during the most recent school faculty picture day. The last brother, Carter, was sketching a coastline using a Smooth Art brand pen to ink the graphite. Some of the majorly useless information she had gathered, but Admin wanted every detail documented.
“Ow, ow, ow!” And here comes Robbie, ear pinched between two vermillion almond nails. Next to him was Scout, tucked against his mother with a pout on his face. Pauling can even see fake tears. That’s when she gets a look at Scout’s mother. Her eyes go wide, shocked to see such a gorgeous woman.
Seeing that Spy’s relationship with her resulted in Scout, Pauling didn’t have to divulge into her personal life as intently as Scout’s siblings. Everything had already been done by Spy, neatly documented with the name Caroline printed onto the file.
“Robert Bennick, apologize for being rude in front of our guest.” Caroline orders, head turning to kiss Scout’s forehead. He had bent down for her to do so, which also allowed Caroline to brush his hair. A red kiss mark was left on Scout, and Pauling desperately wishes she was the one getting kissed right now.
Over the years, Miss Pauling assumed herself to be a non-romantic person. She was never one to seek out a love interest even as far back as her childhood. Head always stuck in a book or admiring pretty ladies in science magazines, which was probably an indicator back then, her love life was simply nonexistent. Something she was content with until this very moment.
Caroline has an hourglass figure beneath her low cut red dress. Her red lips are plump, perfectly kissable as they shine from the living room light. Hooded brown eyes with shaped eyebrows give Robbie a disappointing look as he mutters out an apology. Her manicured nails finally let go of his aching ear.
“Very good. I swear, you boys always find a reason to tease my little Slugger.” Cue seven faces of surprise and shock at the audacity of the statement. None vocalized their disagreement, however. Not when their poor, helpless little brother was still being coddled by Ma.
“Oh! You must be Miss Pauling. You can call me Caroline. I’m so glad you and my baby patched things up.” She approaches and drags Pauling into a tight hug. Her glasses are pushes askew from the squish, and Pauling is struggling to form words. The smell of lavender perfume fills her nose.
“Haha, um, I-I—oh, I forgot something—my phone! I forgot my phone in the car!” Freeing herself from the hug, she hopes that the sweat on her forehead isn’t too visible before running out of the house. As Pauling bolts to the car, Scout is quick to catch up with her.
“Dude, why’d you run? You never forget your phone.” Said item was currently tucked into the front of black purse held in her hands. Scout rubs the back of his neck, afraid that the chaos of his home scared off his friend. Sure, they’re a messy little cluster, but they all love each other!
“I ran cause-cause your mom-your mom’s pretty—I mean hot—I mean pretty hot!” Okay, maybe she should stop talking! Pauling really needs to shut up right now. She puts a hand in her hair to push the messy bangs out of her face.
“What?! Oh, my god! That’s my mom, dude! What the heck?!” Scout stands in horror. How could she say that? He’ll admit, growing up, he got the plenty of annoying milf comments about his mom. Enough to make him break noses and never bring guy friends over for years.
“I don’t know what happened! I just—I got all warm and sweaty, and she smells so nice!” Did she mention how soft her skin was? Those gentle hands had caressed her arm when they hugged. In her effort to explain the sudden infliction, it made Scout cover his ears.
“Lalala! Not listening! That’s my Ma! Not listening!” Scout groans, sinking to the curb. God, why does this always happen? Maybe Scout needs to just never invite anyone over to his Ma’s house again. Might be the only way to keep everyone from trying to date his mom!
“Sorry. Uh, can we go back inside?” A nervous chuckle. Pauling fixes her hair, trying not to look like she just had a gay awakening. Maybe she can sneak another hug from Caroline.
“Fine, but don’t hit on my mom.” Like that can stop Pauling. She has the house’s phone number, address, and Caroline’s work schedule. She can call her any day of the week to set up a date. Hell, Pauling will do it the second she gets home!