#femengineer

basically across the scoutverse please

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!

Warnings: none!

Rating: General

Engineer wipes sweat from his forehead as he twists a final screw into place. With a grunt, he steps back from his latest invention to do a final inspection. Everything seemed in order. The bolts and welded metals hold strong, and the numbers on the adjacent screen were reading normal. Its an advanced teleporter, one meant to jump entire cities. Hell, states even if he keeps working!

Right as Engineer reaches for his test subject, an apple, explosions can be heard. He turns to the door, eyes widening behind his goggles as a screaming Scout is shot through the doors. The young man is launched straight into the wobbly plasma of the teleporter. Bits of metal and concrete land against the machine, altering its original trajectory.

“Scout—!” Before he can stop it, the machine goes offline with a tremble and screech from the computer. Engineer panics and rapidly tries to find out where Scout landed, but its no use. He can’t do anything! Alarms and sirens sound from the massive teleporter then, with a weak groan, it powers down.

“Show yourself, maggot!” Soldier marches into the destroyed workshop, glancing around as if nothing happened. His search is cut short by an angry Engineer grabbing him by the throat with a metal hand.

“Soldier, what the hell did you just do?” Hardhat crooked from his anger, venom seeps from Engineer’s mouth. His entire project, gone! Ripped from his hands before he could properly test it!

“I was playing grenade tag and elected Scout as my partner! That pansy didn’t even bring grenades!” He chuckles despite Engineer throwing him to the ground. The Texan runs back to the machine and starts his repairs. Hopefully, Scout’s alive somewhere.

Where Scout ends up is his room. Well, sorta his room. He crashed onto the bed, which does have his favorite comforter, and landed on the floor. Still, something isn’t right. When did he buy a poster for the band French Brigade? Is that even a real band? Why are there a bunch of discount perfumes and loose tampons on his vanity? When did he even get a vanity??

As Scout turns to run out the door, he sees a woman standing in the doorway. A woman who looks almost identical to him! The only difference between them being their shoe size and a baseball bracelet on her wrist. Immediately, they both start screaming.

“Get the hell out of my room!” She charges in, ready to beat the oddly handsome stranger into a pulp. Both Scouts reach for their bats, hitting each other on the head at the same time. The act knocks both of them out, and they collapse into an unconscious pile on the floor.

Scout awaken with a slap across the face and ice water dumped over his head. He jerks upright, eyes rapidly blinking to focus on the curious face before him. Its a woman with smile lines to her chin that looks identical to Medic. She steps away to reveal another woman wearing overalls.

“Evening, dearie.” Aside from being British, there’s little difference between her and Scout’s Engineer. They’re a similar height and build, but her prosthetic is on her left leg. The same goes for the Medic. Her graying hair is styled the same, but instead of a dove, a parakeet is on her shoulder.

“I bet you’re wondering how you wound up here. Does this machine look familiar, love?” She gestures to a massive teleporter exactly like the one Engineer was building. Scout groans and nods slowly. His head is still foggy from being knocked out, but everything is slowly coming back.

“I think so. I got thrown into one because Solider played—“

“Rocket tag!” At that shout, a rocket bursts through the doors and lands behind Scout. The explosion sends him straight through the teleporter for a second time. Scout lets out a scream as he gets sent to yet another dimension.

Now, Scout is plummeting through the sky. He screams again, eyes squeezed shut in preparation for the deadly impact. So, this is how he dies? Far away from gis friends and family, no way of ever getting back. Hopefully, he splatters somewhere dignified.

“Falling flan!” A flash of light, and Scout lands on a squishy, sweet smelling surface. It’s a giant flan! He stands, slipping a bit before finding his balance. As he looks around, a figure lands behind him. Its him…sorta. This Scout is wearing one of those magical girl costumes Pyro’s shows always have.

A giant red ribbon is tied around his torso, and the layered dress is white with red and pink accents. His curling black hair holds pink bows that match the delicate gloves on his hands and the ankle boots on his feet. The entire outfit is the girliest thing Scout has ever seen!

“That was close! How’d you get so high in the sky, stranger?” Before Scout can even utter a word, his body turns transparent. Like the crackling static of TV, he flickers before disappearing entirely. It leaves the heroic Scout confused as he slides off of the dessert to meet with the rest of his team.

Every time Scout lands, he’s met with another version of himself. Girl versions, ugly versions, that one Scout in his 40s. He even met an emo version! Strange as it was, it does make him consider buying a pair of skinny jeans. The constant flipping between dimensions seems endless until he lands face first in Engineer’s workshop.

“There you are, boy! He’s alive, y’all!” Its Engineer! The one Scout knows! Medic helps him stand, brushing the dust and remnants of flan off of his face. God, it feels good to be home!

“What did you see in there?” Medic asks as Heavy wheels a chair over to them. Scout takes his seat, head throbbing and eyes adjusting once again. He takes a glass of water offered and guzzles it before sighing.

“Dudes, you’re not gonna believe this!”

:Okay, now she's mad!:

Hey do you need some help?

Shoot for the stars!