texts from the legends crew

(440): I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.

(949): We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3

(414): the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again

(614): got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.

(661): I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out

(814): Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs. (1-814): it’s like you read my mind

(217): I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.

(813): Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.

(716): All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

(913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

(303): I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.

(1-614): Weird flex but ok.

(318): We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.

(845): Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

(712): i Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say it was a good night!

(714): I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit

(616): if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.