Texts From MgRonald

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

Thanks to  missbluewallpaper

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

(1-209):nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

(514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

(314): shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club