TextbookSarcasm

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

If Ratatouille mechanics were real, there would be a whole market of businesses offering the services of operating rats to people who want them, and it'd be like how bees produce honey. People in the rat business would be so exhausted of having to explain over and over again that no, the rats aren't being exploited. If the rats didn't like how they're being treated, they would simply not return. There's no goddamn way to force a rat to be so passionate about playing the saxophone that they'll figure out how to puppeteer a human to do it for them. All that the business does is finding a way to put that specific rat in the hair of someone who's about to go on stage.

The trope where people don't recognize each other because it's been so long since they last interacted and they've both changed so much that they're basically strangers UNTIL one of them does their Signature Thing™ and the other just stops dead because oh. It's YOU. All at once it's so clearly you

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

Ah there's no subs, so I probably wont get the- nevermind that's hilarious

admittedly i know little of the subject but one would think, at 45 years of age, he would be a ryan goose by now

@jorality

We know who has all the brain cells

It makes the dream work

Being smart enough to know when to consult and listen to someone more knowledgeable is in fact quite smart! Many humans cannot manage this!