Texan Cactus

I love you calories. my beautiful wife calories

(talking to a crowd of people large enough to fill a very big sports stadium) hi everybody. sunbeam on my p(crowd erupts into thunderous applause startling me so bad that I run into a wall and die)

your penis is died. game oval

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

like to meow. reblog to meow. comment to meow

if my trans guy friend ever pisses me off im telling him charlie day died

...why is it so fucking sad? /pos

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

If you ever feel like you’ve made bad decisions just remember that somewhere out there is a theatre director at an all-white high school about to choose the spring musical

Stede would be a terrible pickpocket because he'd have to resist the urge to say "yoink!" when he stole something