kyanma!

➵ kuroo can’t fix your problems, but he can be there for you. 

wc: 1.3k

warnings: direct depiction of depression! it could potentially be triggering for people who’ve experienced it. also, there’s christian imagery; not direct reference to faith, but the symbolism’s there. 

a/n: unbeta’d. this was just a little cathartic piece, and it’s quite heavy, so please please don’t read this if it’ll trigger you. but, i hope it can offer some people a sense of understanding (especially my fellow ex-”gIfTeD” kids)

You can’t sleep. 

a/n: aaa bless you! you’re so sweet <3 i love watching you pop up in my notifs bc every time i see your url i’m like “ah yes, i agree.” 

✧ ✧

“I think I’m in love with you.”

You let the words hang between the two of you, your heart stuttering in your chest at a painful pace. He hadn’t said anything, simply staring at you with wide eyes.

“And it’s… it’s fucking terrifying.”

“Why?” He asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Huh?” You frowned. You’d thought he’d understand the gravity of what you were saying.

“Why would that scare you?” His voice was gentler this time, the look on his face softening up a bit. 

“Well...” You swallowed, unsure of what to say. “That changes things, right?” 

!!!!!!!! you are so sweet oh my goodness,,, thank you so much? characterisation is super important to me so this made me so soft T-T this got uh,,, long and self-indulgent but! i hope you like it! (might write some scenarios later but who knows)

- admin rowan

✧ definitely a stem major of some kind; he had trouble choosing in his first year, but he’d settle on biochemistry. but, he likes doing random electives outside of his field: intro to psychology, history, cultural anthropology, basics of linguistics, etc. anything that seems mildly interesting, really.

✧ you met through a first year group assignment. at first, you were worried because he seemed so laidback. was he one of those slackers? but, next thing you know, he’s chatted (and charmed) his way into your life, and he’s not leaving. he’s decided that he “enjoys your company” (see: he either finds you kind of interesting or fun to mess with) and then you simply can’t get rid of him.

✧ he’s the sort of person that you’re vaguely acquainted with, but once you have a proper conversation it’s like BAM! next thing you know you’ve been talking for the last three hours and you really need to be getting home before the it gets too late,,, but then you’re immediately texting each other once you get home because your conversation wasn’t quite done, and – oh, it’s 2am. shit.

✧ honestly, he’s a little obtuse. he doesn’t tend to get crushes on people unless he knows them really well, and literally everyone else can tell he’s caught feelings before he has (it honestly drives yaku wild). he doesn’t realise until one day you smile while talking about something totally inconsequential, and he’s like “oh,,, oh shit—”

✧ he’s kind of obvious when he has a crush, too. of course, he’s a tease with everyone, and you’re no exception. but there’s something,,, different about it. something almost tender. expect a lot of nicknames that are a bit too fond to be light insults. he’s also the sort to find any excuse to spend time with you, stupid as they may be: “ah shit, i left a jacket at yours,” or “i really need your help with this assignment.” “i don’t even do this class.” “and?” nobody’s surprised when you finally get together, and honestly? not a lot changes. it’s mainly an excuse for him to be more obnoxious.

✧ he has enviable time management skills? sure, he procrastinates like everybody else, and he’s had his fair share of academic disasters. but most of the time, he’s always on top of things? he assures you that it’s because he’s remarkably talented, but you figure it’s probably something he learnt as captain of a high school sports team. regardless, he’s actually kind of useful as a study partner, even if you’re not in the same classes.

✧ study dates are a fairly common occurrence around exam block, even when you’re basically living together because you’re at each other’s apartments so damn often. sure, i just said he’s got good time management skills, but that doesn’t mean you’re always doing work when you’re on a study date. kuroo’s kuroo, after all, so he’s going to spend at least a third of the time bothering you (draping his legs over you, poking your sides, laying across your work in a bid for attention, literally sitting on you if that doesn’t work--)

✧ there’s a lot of talking, too (as usual). and your conversations can go,,, in all sorts of directions. he’s intellectually playful, and he likes analysing stuff from a bunch of different perspectives. especially when it gets stupid. and especially when it’s with you.

✧ he actually loves hearing you ramble about your classes, especially if you’re interested in them! honestly, you can ramble at him about anything and he’ll just watch you with heart eyes. something about seeing his partner so,,, passionate about what they’re learning, genuinely enjoying it and being confident enough to share it with him? please help the poor boy, he thinks he might be falling in love-- (also he loves listening to you ramble because he knows he’ll then get his turn to ramble)

i just wanted to draw a little Oikawa and Iwaizumi reunion moment…

follow up comic:

First year Akaashi secretly crushing very hard on his clueless sempai while everyone else on the team is aware of it. @bokutoweek Day 3 - Shipping