tetheredradlips

However, there were moments when I couldn't continue reading them aloud, only because the feeling they evoked were too intense. I wasn't sure I would be able to read without weeping.

I suppose at some point, we will always wonder about someone else's well-being, someone who left, someone we thought we knew. How they fare out there, what goes through their minds, and if they have found what they're looking for.

And Mother, oh, Mother. She's as beautiful and angelic as a coiling serpent. A viper of wit and ambition. Her love is... suffocating.

It's not a matter of how fragile your self-worth or your own sense of self validation is. As humans, there's only so much we can take before we start to wear.

His voice is thunder, and our cat favours him.

I used to quake a bit when he bellowed my given name-- I still do.

He loves Tolkien and lectures me religiously.

He nourished me with the likes of Scorpions and Guns n Roses, and recounted chinese drama in traffic.

If other lives existed, I'm sure he would've been born as a dragon with fire breath and typhoon wings.

They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

But I'd say you should definitely judge the book by its cover.

However you think I am, it should've come from somewhere.

And I, if nothing else, am a dutiful spawn.

I swear you have one of the most angelic voices I've ever heard, sometimes it even soothed the raging edges of my wayward soul.

And you do. You truly do.

I swear I told myself I might have found a shelter in your hands-- smaller but warmer, and your rose-scented wisdom.

But then I realize I should never have trusted myself to anchor my jagged edges to any haphazardly alluring kindness which comes my way. Because as much as I believed and loved you, it was apparent where your sentiments are. I was not one you bestowed them on. Maybe I just never really deserve you. And I see it far too late.

I could finally see that I don't really need your heavenly grace to straighten my erratic storms.

Now, sometimes the sound of your voice just made me feel nauseous. Even the mention of your pretty name snapped my heartstring and halted my heart to stutter.

I don't need the light from your halo to help me find a way out of the ravenous darkness which threatens to swallow me daily.

I don't really need your words of wisdom after all,

if only at the cost of dishonesty.

~thixo.tropy

What Happened (to The One Without Wings)

(2020)