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How: Post your entry to Tumblr/Twitter and use #TerraquaSpice tag or tag us!
Rules:
đč use #TerraquaSpice tag or tag us
đž post any time between the 14th-15th (for all days, only one day, etc.)
đč any gender/sexuality representation of TA is welcomed!
đž have fun! and remember to support your fellow TA fans đ§Ąđ
NSFW event doesn't interest you? Check out @terraquaweek for SFW Terraqua Week Prompts!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
It had all happened so quickly. She and Terra had been in the middle of a particularly intense battle with a giant Heartless in Prankster's Paradise, one they hadnât encountered before. Itâd looked like they were winning, when the Heartless had made an unexpected attack that Aqua hadnât seen in time, having been too caught up in fending off the Heartlessâs previous attack. But Terra had noticed, a mere second before her. Heâd tried to block it but had failed and been knocked out by the Heartlessâ attack.
Once that had happened, Aqua had known that she wouldnât be able to defeat the Heartless by herself, so she briefly cast Barrier and called for backup using the gummiphone. Sora and Kairi had come within the next ten minutes, as theyâd already been close by doing a mission on a neighbouring world. Riku had arrived from Mysterious Tower in the aftermath of the battle, to check that everyone was all right and the Heartless gone.
Of course, Terra hadnât been all right. No one had been able to wake him, and while Curaga appeared to heal his physical wounds, it also did not wake him up. And so theyâd taken him to Radiant Garden, to be examined by Ansem the Wise and his apprentices. Now, they were waiting outside Ansem the Wiseâs castle in Radiant Garden, for someone to come out and give them an update on Terraâs condition.
Aqua couldnât stop pacing. It had been hours since they had brought Terra to Radiant Garden via the Gummi Ship, and Ansem the Wise and his apprentices had taken him into their surgery room to examine and hopefully operate on him.
âWhy couldnât he just let me take it? I couldâve shielded myself, I could haveâŠâ
âYou know how Terra is,â Ventus said quietly. Ven had arrived quickly, as soon as heâd gotten Aquaâs message about what had happened. âHeâd die before he let either of us get hurt like that.â
She felt treacherous tears sting her eyes but didnât try to wipe them away. She didnât want to bring any attention to them, and besides, maybe she ignored them they would just disappear. One could hope.
âI know, Ven,â she whispered. âI just⊠I hate this so much. Terra looks so badly hurt⊠I donât know what weâd do without him if he dies.â
I donât know what Iâd do without him. Terra had been a constant in her life since sheâd first started training to be a keyblade wielder, at age of ten. She hadnât gotten along with him at first, finding him annoying and off-putting, but gradually, as the years passed, she began to see the traits of his that no one else save maybe Master Eraqus sawâhis warmth, his kindness, his protective nature, his stubbornness and care. And so gradually, over the years theyâd gone from strangers to friends to best friends and rivals. And Aqua had realised that she cared for him much more than she could ever say and couldnât bear to lose him. Her, Terra and Ven being separated for over ten years due to Xehanort had only strengthened her feelings. Â Â Â
âHeâs not going to die,â Ven said confidently. âDonât think like that, Aqua. Remember what Master Yen Sid said? Itâs important for us to believe. Terraâll find his way back to us, youâll see.â
Yes⊠she remembered. Master Yen Sid had said the same thing when she awakened in the Mysterious Tower with a comatose Ven, so many years ago. It had been easy to believe then, but now sheâd experienced too much darkness to ever think that way again.
------------
Some time later, Aqua didnât know when, Ansem the Wise finally appeared outside the castle gates, looking tired with dark shadows under his eyes.
Aqua and Ven, Riku, Sora and Kairi immediately turned toward him. He smiled at them in greeting.
âI am sorry to have kept you waiting for so long,â he said. âOur examination took us longer than we had expected.â
âPleaseâŠâ Aqua forced her voice to stay calm. âWill Terra be all right?â
Ansem looked at her gravely. âHe will live,â he said. âBut his condition is uncertainâŠâ
Her heart hammered in her chest at the words. âWhat do you mean?â
âIt seems that the attack Terra bore the brunt of, infected him with a dark virus,â Ansem said gently to her. âBecause of this he is comatoseâhis mind subconsciously did this in an attempt to protect his heart. He will live, but we donât know when he will wake up or what his condition will be like when he does.â
âOhâŠâ
âWhen can we take him home?â Ven asked him.
âWe want to keep Terra here with us for further observation for another seven days. Then he can go home, provided his condition hasnât gotten any worse,â Ansem the Wise said.
âGreat!â Ven said, trying to maintain an air of positivity. âRight, Aqua?â
âYes⊠good.â She forced her frozen lips to move. âThank you, Master Ansem. Youâve done so much to help us.â
Ansem smiled sadly. âIt is nothing, Master Aqua. I am happy to help, and so are my apprentices. I, too, have some affection for Terra, and it grieves me that he has been hurt like this. But please be assured that he will recover and wake up. He just needs time.â
âThank you,â Aqua repeated, with tears stinging her eyes, and heard Ven echo her. âWeâll stay in Radiant Garden until Terra is ready to leave.â
------------
Seven days later, Aqua and Ventus took Terra home to the Land of Departure.
âCall us if he gets worse or if he wakes up,â Ienzo instructed them when they were about to board the gummi ship. Aqua got the impression that he, like Ansem the Wise, was also worried about Terra and cared about his wellbeing.
âOf course, Ienzo,â Aqua said. âThank you for everything youâve all done.â
âIt was nothing,â the man said shyly.
And so they went home. They managed somehow miraculously to carry Terra to his bedroom in the castle, despite him being so heavy, and settled him in his bed. It wouldâve made it much easier if theyâd had someone else to help them, but Aqua had felt too distraught to really accept any help offered by Ansem and his apprentices.
The next days passed in a painful blur. Aqua busied herself with paperwork, while Ven went on missions to various worlds, usually paired with Roxas or Xion. After all, there were still worlds to protect and the Land of Departure to maintain, and Terra being injured didnât change that. They went at it with a surprising intensityâneither of them wanted to think too much about Terraâs absence. Â Â Â Â
But even with their days being occupied with their respective duties, they still made some time to sit at Terraâs bedside and talk to him about everything thatâd been going on. They always had dinner in his bedroom, because Ven insisted that it would help Terra wake up sooner. Â
If she was being honest with herself, Aqua thought, sheâd insisted that she needed to stay in the Land of Departure to work on paperwork because she didnât want to leave Terra while he was like this. Throughout each day she sat often with Terra, holding his hand and talking to him, sharing the thoughts in her heart like theyâd used to do back when they were kids. When had they stopped doing that? She didnât know. From time to time, she had a sudden urge to kiss him, but she restrained herself. It didnât feel right to do it when Terra wasnât awake to say anything about it.
âI know you canât hear me, but⊠I miss you. I wish you would wake up soon.â  Â
She refrained from speaking the other, more personal words that were at the front of her mouth. I love you. I need you. I donât know what Iâd do without you.
Her heart clenched at the thought of Terra never waking up. Sheâd already had to experience that with Ventus, though the younger boy had woken up eventually when Sora had used the Power of Waking to help guide Venâs heart back into his body. She didnât want to have to go through that again with Terra.
âI swear, if you never wake up, or if it takes you ten years, Iâll never forgive you!â
---------------
Five days after theyâd brought him home, Terra finally woke up. Ven was with him at the timeâAqua was preparing their dinner in the kitchen. When Ven had called out to her in such an urgent toneââAqua, Terraâs awake!â Aqua immediately dropped what sheâd been doing and ran to Terraâs bedroom.
As she burst through the door, she found the sight of Terra sitting up staring at her with tired eyes, but very much awake. She felt as if her heart would burst with relief and joy.
âTerra! Youâre awake!â
Terra snorted slightly, but smiled at her. âYeah⊠I guess I am.â Then he rubbed the back of his head and a confused expression crossed his face. âWhat happened? The last thing I remember is fighting that giant Heartless and trying to block that attack you didnât see.â
âWellâŠâ Aqua and Ven glanced at each other. Aqua continued, âYou were knocked unconscious and weâSora, Riku, Kairi and Iâcouldnât wake you up. We took you to Ansemâs laboratory and he said that you were infected with some kind of dark virus and that your mind put you into a coma to protect your heart. Do you feel all right now?â
Terra looked surprised but answered her readily. âYeah, I think so.â
âGreat!â Ven said. âIâll call Ansem the Wise to tell him.â Â Â
Terra and Aqua were left alone as Ven ran out of the room. Aqua smiled fondly after Ven, then turned to Terra. âWeâre about to have dinner,â she told him. âYou can join usâyou must be hungry after being asleep for so long.â
Terra laughed. âIâm not sure Iâll be up to eating dinner. I feel ready to fall asleep again. Iâm not sure I can even get out of bed.â
âThatâs okay,â Aqua said. She gripped his hand and squeezed it gently. âYou need a lot of rest to recover.â
Later, after dinner, she lay curled next to Terra on his bed, her hand in his, and she said the words that she couldnât bear to say while heâd been unconscious.
He looked at her, surprised. âYou really mean that?â
She looked into his tired, hopeful eyes and nodded. âYes. I donât know what Iâd do without you. When the Heartless hurt you and you wouldnât wake up, it scared me a lot.â
âIâm sorry,â he said quietly. âWhen I took that blow for you, all I could think of was that I didnât want you to get hurt. I thought if anyone had to get hurt, it should be me.â Â Â
âWhy should it be you?â she challenged him. âWeâre partners, Terra, remember? We look out for each other. You canât protect me from everything. Thereâll always be a point where Iâll get hurt.â
Terra looked away. âIâm sorry,â he repeated. âIt was justâinstinct.â
Aqua sighed. She really couldnât blame him for doing what his heart told him to do. It was just that sheâd been so scared for him. She didnât want to feel like that ever again.
âI know, Terra,â she whispered. âI understand. I just was so scared. Donât do that to me again. After everything weâve all been through, I canât handle another scare like that. I donât want to lose you.â
âYou wonât lose me,â he said to her gently. âI promise. Iâll be more careful from now on.â
She saw the honesty in his eyes and smiled. âGood,â she said, and kissed his cheek. âNow go to sleep. You need it.â
She hopped off the bed and started toward the doorway. When she was almost at the door, Terra called out to her.
âAqua?â
âYeah?â
âI love you too,â he said drowsily.
Then he closed his eyes and slid into sleep. Aqua smiled fondly at him, then exited the bedroom.
A week passed. Ven still hadnât come back from Twilight Town. Terra suspected that he wanted to give him and Aqua some more time alone. Terra didnât mind that in the leastâhe just wished Ven had talked to them about his intentions beforehand and how long itâd be until he returned.
Like they usually did, he and Aqua spent the evening on the summit watching the stars and talking about their day. Aqua had spent her day on a mission to Corona, which she recounted to him enthusiastically. He on the other hand had spent his day in the Land of Departure doing paperwork, and he listened to Aqua with some envy while she talked about how Rapunzel and Eugene were doing and what she got up to while exploring the beautiful green world.
There was a moment, Aqua said, when she saved a couple children from some Heartless that suddenly popped up on the outskirts of Corona city. They hadnât been giant Heartless and were relatively easy to dispatch, but it was concerning that they had come so close to the settlement. After sheâd gotten rid of the Heartless, the children had come up to her and thanked her.
âThey called me a hero,â Aqua said, sounding perplexed. âIâm not a hero, Terra.â
Terra didnât entirely understand why sheâd feel that way. Of course Aqua is a hero. She spent years trapped in the Realm of Darkness, never giving into it and always keeping faith in the light. She gave up her chance at rescue to save Riku, and not to mention she never stopped lighting his own way back to the Realm of Light. So there was no doubt in his mind of Aquaâs heroism.
âYou are a hero,â he told her. âTrust me.â
âBut Iâm not!â Aqua shook her head, frustrated. âI may be good at my job, but when it mattered I failed! I failed to stop Xehanort, failed to save you and Ven, and I let myself be consumed by darkness. I donât understand why anyone would call me a hero.â
âYou didnât fail, Aqua. Yeah, you didnât stop Xehanort in Radiant Garden, but you did save me, and you protected Ven. Thatâs not nothing.â
âYes, and look how that turned out,â she said bitterly. âI ended up letting Xehanort loose to do whatever he wanted in the Realm of Light, while I was trapped in the Realm of Darkness. He destroyed so many worlds and lives and no one was there to stop him until it was almost too late.â
âThen why did you do it?â he challenged her. âYou couldâve left me and Xehanort in the Realm of Darkness and you wouldâve been free to keep the Realm of Light safe.â
She looked at him with glassy eyes. âI donât know,â she whispered. âI just⊠reacted. I couldnât bear the thought of losing you to the darkness.â
Sometimes, in his worse moments, he wishes sheâd left him and Xehanort in the Realm of Darkness and saved herself. Maybe he wouldâve been completely lost to Xehanortâs darkness, but at least he wouldnât have had to endure years of having his heart enslaved to Xehanort, doing Xehanortâs will, and enduring the memories of what Xehanort, Xemnas and Xehanortâs Heartless had done to the worlds. And Aqua wouldnât have had to endure being trapped in the Realm of Darkness and wouldâve been there to protect the worlds, as she was supposed to be.
But in his better moments, he is grateful to be alive and free and with Aqua and Ven again, even if he has to put up with the dark memories, the guilt and the trauma, and heâs glad Aqua chose the way she did.
âIf anyone isnât a hero, itâs me,â he added. âYou at least tried to save the worlds. I went astray, got myself possessed by Xehanort and had to watch while he destroyed the worlds.â And was also forced to help him, he thought but did not say.
âWhy would you say that?â Aqua snapped. âYou donât get to call me a hero and then turn around and say that youâre not one. Youâre one of the most heroic people I know.â
âAnd youâre one of the most heroic people I know,â he snapped back at her. Then her words sunk in properly and he said, âYou really think that?â
âOf course I do!â Aquaâs eyes glared him, as if daring him to deny it. âYou spent ten years never giving up, never falling to darkness, always fighting against Xehanort. You guided me when I was in the Realm of Darkness and protected me and Ven when he attacked us in Enchanted Dominion. And you saved our lives when he tried to kill us in the Keyblade Graveyard with his corrupted chains. Why wouldnât I think youâre a hero?â
Oh. For a moment he didnât know what to say to that. Heâd never thought of himself as a hero, and everything heâd went through during his possession made him think that he definitely isnât a hero. So for Aqua to call him one felt⊠strange. However, it also warmed his heart.       Â
Then he thought of something else and couldnât help but laugh.
âWhat is it?â Aqua demanded, with some exasperation in her voice.
âWellâŠâ He looked at her with gentle, dancing eyes. âIf you think Iâm a hero, and I think youâre a hero, then maybe we are heroes, at least to each other?â   Â
âIâŠâ Aqua paused and thought about it for a moment. âI donât know. I suppose that makes sense. But after everything, losing myself to darkness, attacking Mickey and Riku, failing so many times and making so many mistakes, it feels hard thinking of myself as a hero. I donât know if Iâll ever get used to it.â
âI know what you mean,â he said quietly. âI feel the same way. But we can try. Like Riku reminded me not so long ago, everyone makes mistakes. Even heroes.â
Aqua was silent for a long moment, then nodded. âYouâre right. Riku is right, too. Do you think itâll get easier, with time? Will we be able to forgive ourselves?â
âI donât know,â Terra said slowly. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. âI hope so. Itâs the only thing we have.â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
Terra/Aqua | Terra/Anti-Aqua
Rating: M
Word count: 4,680
@terraquaweek
Summary: Terra meets Anti-Aqua, and he's sorry for the things they did and didn't do.
Read on AO3
A/N: Uhhhhh y'all should know... Did I push the boundary so hard between SFW and NSFW? YEP. YEP AND I'M NOT SORRY hahahaha
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They chose to âpracticeâ in the woods. Terra wouldnât call it practicing like Aqua did. He preferred âexperimenting.âÂ
Keyblades were a magic of frequencyâit was how one bearer built trust with the other. If desperate and needy, Terra sensed Rainfell near, or Wayward Wind, the Defender, like a soft landing or a refuge. Whether he was trapped by a storm, lost in the mountains, or lost at night when he didnât know if he could survive the training he had to endure, Aqua was next door. Or outside training. Or in the library. Rainfell left a thread he could trace when he couldnât defeat his mind. Terra sensed Aquaâs Light, therefore Rainfell existed.Â
Aqua summoned Rainfell and twirled it in loops like a baton and Terra⊠closed his eyes and meditated. Banished thoughts of Aquaâs waist and her eyes like the sea reflected in the daylight.Â
âAre you finished?â Aqua asked with a smile in her voice.
âDonât you know itâs rude to interrupt me.â
âIâm considering the fact that we need as much time as we can get.â
âYouâre so practical.â His eyes were still closed.Â
âYouâre evading.â
Terra kneaded his face. âIâm getting ready.â
âRainfell is not going to hurt you.â
Ha. It was time for the playful approach. âIâm trying to settle Earthshaker for you. Itâs pretty heavy.â
Aqua stopped her twirling and clicked her tongue. âYou think I canât pick it up?â
Terra smirked. âNope.â
âGive it to me.â
Terra held his breath and clenched his teeth behind tight lips so she wouldnât see how nervous he was.Â
âWhat if Rainfell doesnât want me to hold it?â
She shrugged one shoulder and landed a hand to her hip. âI know it doesnât mind.â
âWhat if Earthshaker reacts badly? Or something?â
She raised her eyebrows. âDo⊠you not want me to wield it?â
âOf course I do.â Of course he didnât.
Aqua squinted, reading whatever she wanted to read on his face, then rolled her eyes. âYouâre taunting me.â She motioned with her hand. âGive it here.â
This wasnât a duel, though, where Terra would taunt until she told him to be quiet.Â
He needed an advantage. He needed to see what Rainfell would expose so he knew what to hide with Earthshaker. âRainfell first.â
She slapped his hand away. âYou were challenging me. Give it.â
He paused, but not long enough to make her suspicious. He summoned Earthshaker, and offered the hilt.Â
She swapped Rainfell. Earthshaker sagged to the ground and her biceps flexed to keep it up. She stuck her tongue out at him. âI can carry it fine.â
Rainfell was bizarrely light-weight. Already, its energy swirled up his forearm. It knew his touch was foreign, and its frequency invaded his mind like it was sniffing him out. It recognized him. Terra had to hold Rainfell firm as if it was strapped to a leash, only because it was a Keyblade that created its strength through a buildup of magic in order to stand up against Earthshakerâs massive girth. Therefore, it needed persistent and meticulous control. Otherwise, it spun.Â
Aqua worked on her unstable posture as she swung Earthshaker, frowning.Â
âAre you sure itâs not too heavy for you?â
She frowned harder. Earthshaker was burdensome. His Keyblade was the entire reason why Terra built this much muscle to prove himself to Earthshakerâs unwavering judgment. When Aqua swung, she lost the tiniest bit of momentum as her dexterity overcorrected.Â
âWhy are youââ She pinched her lips.
Terra held his breath. Rainfell hummed, reading a book he was trying to snap closed. âWhat?â
Aqua let Earthshaker fall. Its teeth landed on the ground with a thud and Terra flinched. âTerra, do you have something to say to me?â
Terra swallowed. âNo.â
âThen why do you⊠Terra, Iâm not holier than you.â
âExcuse me?â His heart hammered. This was a stars-cursed idea, and he couldnât keep down the feelings that he never wanted surfaced. Memories of Aqua losing one duel, or scoring lower than him on a test, and how he had measured his worth against her by numbers: grades, wins, and the number of her losses which equated to the number of times he went to bed reassured that he looked like a hero standing next to her.Â
âIs that what youâre worried about? That youâreâ?â She looked away. âThis is so childish.â
âIf youâre attacking me, why are you so defensive?â
âIâm not attacking you.â
âIâm not childish.â
âIâm trying to knock some sense into you.â
âI didnât say anything!â
Rainfell jarred in his fist. It was about to lose control. And Terra needed to stay in control. Terra gripped it tighter, and Aqua actually yelped. Rainfell grew dark and heated, like he had a hand inside her lungs.Â
Really dark. Admiration hiding behind large tomes turned into daggers across a classroom and nights full of worries. Studying extra to outwin the next fight. How Aqua relied so much on speed and learned Terra so well that she learned how to outwit everything anyone threw at her so in the end, her chin, and the crown she wore on her head, was held highest. Terra became force unmoving, so he made Aqua unbeatable.
Earthshaker must be angry too.Â
âYou think you know everything?â Terra said before he stopped himself. âBetween you and me, Iâm not the favorite.â
Aquaâs lips trembled before she steadied them. âI have never said that. Ever.â
âYou don't have to. You donât say half of whatâs on your mind to begin with.â
âForget this. Give me Rainfell back.â
âIâm not done.â But Terra stopped. Suddenly Rainfell⊠cried? Aquaâs face was brave, her eyes boring into his and ready for the challenge. But Rainfell?Â
Terra lowered his voice, lowered his defenses, and breathed slowly. Gently, he said, âIâm sorry. But youâre not right.â
The knot in Aquaâs throat bobbed.Â
âYou matter to the Master just as much as I do,â Terra said.Â
Aqua stared at the grass. âHe sees you as his son. I have to work to get that same attention.â
âOh, you want him to be hard on you?â Terra scoffed, too accusatory. âAre you kidding me? Heâs easier on you because he trusts that youâreââ He almost said better. âGood. More than that, you shine. Youâre brilliant.â
Aqua gaped, and Earthshaker sagged from the weight of Terraâs implied inferiority. Stars. Rainfell stilled, like it gulped a fist of air.Â
âBrilliant?â Rainfell weeped with her, and Terra could cry with her. He was stupid. âTerra, all Iâm trying to say is weâre going to perform just fine in the exam.â
Would they though? Terra didnât say it, but Rainfell understood. Aqua shook her head in denial and wiped a tear from her face. For not saying anything, Aqua said so much. Rainfell reached to him for a hug, and Terra felt the welcome of a blanket in winter.Â
Stars. Terraâs heart hammered, and of course, Earthshaker sent her the same signals. A hug for what he didnât want to ever talk about with her. Aqua, all Iâve ever wanted was to match up to you. He kept that to himself, and he wasnât certain if Earthshaker had the capability to translate it. He hoped not.
But Aqua nodded, and brought Earthshakerâs hilt to her forehead, whispering a prayer.
Terra didnât hear the prayer, but he felt the intention: a truce. Terra though hated this image of Aqua offering an olive branch when this shouldnât have happened in the first place.Â
Terra twirled Rainfell. It was calm in his grip, trusting him. Apology accepted. So how would they move on?Â
Again, it was time for the playful approach. âI donât know how you can fight with this. Itâs like a feather.âÂ
Aqua laughed into Earthshakerâs hilt. And Terra felt it, like a breath on his cheek with her arms around him. âIt will electrocute you,â she said.
âOh, whatever. All I would feel is a little zap on the wrist.â Bingoâhis intention to lighten the mood worked and she rolled her eyes. He flipped Rainfell in the air and caught it. âSee? Easy. Earthshaker could break your face.â
âWouldnât that mean Earthshaker would break your face if Iâm the one holding it?â She smirked with haughtiness. Stars, he loved it when she did that.
âIf you can wield it properly.â
âI am.â
Stars, he loved it when she spoke to him that way.
âIf I swing Rainfell too hard, it will snap in half.â
âI can sit here and tolerate your useless excuses or we can actually spar.â
He opened his arms as if to expose himself to a direct strike, but he knew she wouldnât be able to take a swing. âYour funeral.â
âDonât you mean yours?â
He stepped closer to get in her face, and for some reason, Rainfell jolted like a heart skipped.
âThe truth is, Iâm stronger than you.â He tapped Earthshaker, and again, Rainfell jumped, its vibration beating.Â
For some reason, Aquaâs breath trembled. âProve it,â she whispered, and one more time, Rainfell throbbed. It liked this? She liked this?
He liked it, too.
Stars, he shouldn't indulge. He struck her with Rainfell and she defended, although Earthshaker made her sluggish, hanging too low. Aqua held her ground. She shook, but she fortified herself with her magic against his brute blow.Â
âI just did,â he said, near whispering, Rainfell too excited now.
She smirked. "No, you didn't," she said, her breath on his face. Biceps and forearms flexing, she filled Earthshaker with her spells, and pushed him off. Their blades slid and cracked with sparks before disconnecting.Â
She smiled (blushed?), and flicked her head to get her hair out of her eyes.
"Made you sweat, didn't I?" Terra felt proud of that. Earthshaker was too cumbersome for her style, making this an eventual easy win.
Somehow, she was prouder. "Made you nervous, didn't I?"
Terra bit his lip. His heart was about to crawl out of his esophagus if she was going to keep talking to him like that. He swung Rainfell in slices around himself. "Again. But hold Earthshaker right this time? You're embarrassing yourself."
Aqua lifted Earthshaker to test its weight and find an equilibrium for herself. Earthshaker fell, unbalanced, and she caught the blade with her free hand before it hit her head.Â
âSo ridiculous,â she muttered. âYour craftsmanship is ridiculous.â But that wasnât what Terra felt. Adoration. She caressed his blade, and Terra wished she adored his physique.Â
Yet wasnât Earthshaker an extension of his muscle? Could he let himself have that daydream, of her admiring him? Of her tracing the divots on his skin? Could imagine himself tracing the clavicle peeking out of her leotard?
Wait. What was Rainfell doing, swelling in his hand?
Terra shouldnât be thinking this. Terra was too late. He felt a hand pressed on his chest, gliding down as Aqua's fingers skated over the edge of Earthshakerâs blade. Moving down to his navel. He gasped.Â
Where was his mind? To spare his composure, Terra rolled his shoulders and⊠well, what he was supposed to say? That Rainfell looked like Aqua, curved and menacing, and that it made sense it was her counterpart to her fluid movement? To the way her body kept form so differently from him, like water that bent around his boulder?
That hand moved lower.
Where was Rainfell? In his hand, squeezed too tightly.Â
âTerra?â Her eyes were closed and she shivered.
He groaned. âYeah?â
Rainfell respondedâthat hug it offered was now hands on his face, a thumb wiping the edge of his mouth. He nearly kissed it, but he would be kissing air.Â
âWhat are you doing?â he asked.
âWhat are you doing?â
âNothing.â He should give Rainfell back.
Where was his mind? Wishing her lips were gasping for his until he stopped breathing.Â
Aqua brought her hand to her heart, concentrating on what Earthshaker was saying.Â
âCome on,â Terra said, mortified at what exactly Earthshaker was saying. That traitor.
But Aqua heard, giving her the advantage. And Rainfell needed. Aqua's thumb stroked Earthshakerâs hilt, and her hand skated over the flat edge of his blade. Between Terraâs legs burned, and he stumbled back onto a tree. He touched his own lips, and pretended they were her fingers.
Wait, why was he the one holding himself up by the tree? Why was Aqua the one left standing?Â
So he did the same. He stroked Rainfellâs blade with a firm finger and Aquaâs breath hitched. She closed her eyes and hunched over. Her lips were flushed. Panting.Â
Her lips, her lips, her lips. Left standing. He should let it go. Release the feeling. Say theyâre being silly. Wish they could go back to being children, to the day they met, to before when such things never crossed his mind⊠so he could experience this fall for her all over again until they inevitably came here, with his shoulders tense against bark while he savored his blood coursing across his body and he savored the image of her enjoying what she felt. Yes. Rainfell said yes.
He should not step forward. He should not drop Rainfell and run to her, snatching her into his arms, meeting his lips to hers, running his hands up her waist and gliding his fingers underneath her straps to feel the warmth of her bare skin.Â
But he did. And she welcomed him. She held onto Earthshaker, and Terra thought yes, please touch it, please taste me, please let me touch you. Her free hand was in his hair, and she invited his tongue in, and her hips pressed onto his.Â
In a moment, exactly what he wanted. In the next, the void.Â
âWhat are we doing?â Aqua gasped and pulled away, dropping Earthshaker. It left Terra breathless.
âI donât know.â But he did. She knew Earthshaker. He knew Rainfell. He knew they both wanted this.
Aqua wouldnât say anything, and he needed to know. âIâm sorry,â he said, not sure what he was sorry for, except for the empty space between his hands. âIâLet me give you Rainfell back.â
So he would feel what she wasnât saying. He was terrified Rainfell would tell him it was regret (please donât let it be regret), but Aqua didnât give him the chance. Aqua summoned it back before he could reach it.Â
She tucked her hair behind her ears, and it sprung forward. âTerra, Iâm sorry.â
âNo, donât be.â
âButââ
âYouââ
âIââ
âItâs okay.â Terra lifted his hands in surrender. âItâs okay. I⊠I liked it.â He reached for her but she hid her face behind her hands.
âTerra, all I wanted to say was that we are equals.â
Oh. âWe are.â
A pause. âI... This is bad timing.â Another pause, and Terra was suspended, waiting for her word. âI canât think here.â
"I-I'm sorry," he said.
Aqua left the thicket on the route back to the castle, away from her failed experiment.
âIâm sorry,â she kept saying. âIâm sorry.â
~*~
Sleeping on the floor? Means a sore back.Â
Terra grunts when he sits up, and drags himself onto the loveseat, stretching his legs. He doesnât remember his dreams, but honestly, heâs sick of dreaming, and doesnât want another one for the rest of his life.Â
Bleached sunlight pierces the windows, washing everything in a cold glow. Itâs so quiet. Which is natural. The castle is too large for four people, let alone three. Yet unnatural. The grandfather clock in the study is broken, so thereâs no tick-tick-tick. Instead, Terra can hear every groan in the wood, and cracked plaster decaying as the castle shifts in the wind, grasping onto splinters that will snap at any moment. His duty to do something to prevent the castle from collapsing entirely, or from his world losing itself to Darkness.Â
But EarthshakerâŠ
Terra extends his arm and flexes his fingers, waiting for the hum in the negative space between that signals his Keyblade answering the call. Suppose though, Terra has failed his Earthshaker, therefore he has failed himself, which means Earthshaker has passed its judgment on its very own wielder.Â
Terra exhales. Heâs making excuses. Terra is the one judging Terra. The Guardian is gone, vanquished by Terraâs Light. Thatâs what Ven said what happened. Terra has to believe that.
âCome on,â he says, begging this time, but itâs like Earthshaker is shaking its head. âWhat do you want me to do?â
No answer, just a vacancy.Â
âSo how am I going to fix anything?â
To be honest, Earthshaker wouldnât have the answers anyway. Itâs as clueless as Terra.
Terra gives up, rubbing the empty space between his fingers. Would Xehanort have this problem?Â
No, Xehanort was a well of knowledge. Terra had felt it, in those years of blackness. Striding confidence, lustful curiosity, and unwavering strength that was a hurricane and an earthquake all at once. Everything that Terra still wants to be to this day, and in those years when he barely existed, he got a taste of what that felt like every time Xehanort won. Every time XehanortâŠ
Wielded his ornate silver Keyblade, the one with no name. Stars, that Keyblade is old, more ancient than the Defender, rich with secrets, and addicting to hold.
Terra extends his hand, and gracefully asks No Name to please answer his call, in a way like heâs bowing with respect and reverence. Maybe there is a connection between Terra and this Keyblade since they have made contact, skin to metal. There has to be. His heart bows even lower, head to the floor.
âPlease, come,â he says. âI have questions, and IâŠâ
Need you.
Terra snatches his hand back. What is he thinking?
Eraqus would have⊠what, punished Aqua for turning the way she did? Become disappointed in her? Be sad? Be sorry.
But where Eraqus saw failure, Xehanort would have seen opportunity for progress, experimentation, and resolution. Xehanort would have had answers. And if Xehanort were still alive, Terra today would have the resources he needs.
He extends his hand again. Heâs willing to exchange all his power for a chance of pain, for a chance that Earthshaker will reject him if thatâs the cost, for a chance to listen to what the Fairytale Keybearers have to whisper. All he needs is one clue heâs failed to notice. But No Name doesnât reply.
Which means Terra isnâtâŠ
âTerra!â Ven slams the door open. He waves his arms like an octopus electrocuted. âThereâs those⊠those fucking things outside! Heartless!â
âWhat?â Thatâs impossible. The Land of Departure is supposed to be a fortress against forces that Dark.
Then again, those storms raged all night.Â
âStars,â Terra curses, and grabs the Masterâs satchel full of the potions he brewed last night, then follows Ven. The castle shakes hard enough that Ven saves himself by holding onto the railing, where Terra nearly tumbles down the stairs.Â
âWhatâs happening?â Ven cries out.
Darkness paints everything black, like nightfall with the new moon and no stars. Flickers. Then it brightens again. The Land of Departure is going to fall.Â
âTerra?âÂ
Thereâs what sounds like a rumbling explosion, and they both hold on. Some part of the castle is crumbling into the canyon below.Â
âDonât worry,â Terra says. âLetâs go.â
Outside, storm clouds brush the sky dull and desaturated. Heartless approach from the mountain in factions, slithering everywhere, but they keep their distance from Defender at the Masterâs memorial.Â
Ven summons Wayward Wind and charges forward. Terra stays behind on the terrace, hurling explosive vials at Heartless near the castle. Itâs a bad planâa shitty one, if Terra gives himself the permission to use foul language. He only has seven vials.
Terra slams a vial into a Heartless jumping on him. It doesnât do much except push it back. He needs hisâ
âYou have no Keyblade?â Ven stumbles when a Heartless jumps onto his back. So Ven yells. Really yells, and circling blades of screeching Light wipes out the population of Heartless threatening the castle.
More come from the forest.
âWhen were you going to tell me you have no Keyblade?â Ven catches his breath, back at the terrace. He frowns from exhaustion. âWhere is Earthshaker?â
âI donât know.âÂ
Ven takes a moment to compose himself, then nods. He smiles something courageous and prepared, as if this is a test heâs been wanting to pass. A wish granted, really. Ven has always wanted to be trusted and relied on. âStay here. I can take care of this.âÂ
âWait, Venââ
But Ven storms ahead, toward the next wave of Heartless. Theyâre impatient, crawling over each other in twitching mounds.
Terra has to do something. He jabs his hand into the satchel, but there are no more vials.Â
What is he going to do?Â
The Defender. On instinct, Terra dashes down the terrace and extends his hand, almost touching the dormant Keyblade waiting to be used. Almost. For a short, tiny moment, Terra hesitates. This Keyblade, like No Name, defines a Master. What if it rejects him, too?
That moment of hesitation is when Aqua arrives. She flies over the roof of the castle, her lithe body flipping before she lands on the ground.Â
She summons herâaâKeyblade and faces Ven, ready to attack him.
Ven. Shock. Hangs back. Hand up to his face like heâs preparing for a blow.
Aqua. Furious.
âNo!â Terra rushes and steps in front of Ven, his vulnerable, defenseless body a shield. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
âWait, Terra,â Ven says.
âVen, stay behind me.â
âVen needs to stand down,â Aqua says, her voice steady.
Itâs too much to swallow. Aqua. The Heartless. This strange Keyblade. âAqua, our home is falling apart.â
âStand. Down.â The Heartless behind her blend and separate, eyes and twig-like limbs engorged into their thin skin like theyâre malleable clay.Â
Terra needs a quiet moment, a clear head. âWhose Keyblade is that?â Itâs tacky, unfitting for Aquaâs grace.Â
âSome Keyblades donât have Masters,â is her only answer.Â
Like Defender. Like No Name. Aqua the Master of all. But this one is different. Where every Keyblade is a single bright star in the dark, this one comes from a white sky, and this star is black. An opposite, from the Realm of Darkness.
âWhere is Rainfell?â It has to exist. Aquaâs star is still there, far away, hidden by expansive galaxies that a telescope is needed. But itâs there, so therefore, Rainfell lives.
Her jaw locks. âHow do you think you survived falling into Darkness?â
Terraâs mouth goes dry. âNoâŠâ
âI gave it to you, so you could stay in the Realm of Light.â
Stars. Stars, stars, stars, please donât let that be true. Again, Terra cries in front of her.Â
In a pathetic attempt to get her approval and keep the situation under control, Terra weakly says, âWe can find it. Together. Iâll help you.â
She stares.
âThis isnât right.â He waves at the Heartless squirming, who are waiting for her command to move forward. âThis isnât you.â
Her eyes widen in a wild glare. âWhat isnât me, exactly?â
âYouâŠâ He doesnât have an answer. âAqua, I want to help. Isnât that what you want from me?â Terra claws at his chest, wanting her to see how much his heart is hurting. âMy help? Isnât that the least you deserve? What else can I do for you? I want you better. I want you happy.â
âBetter.â Again, she finds that offensive.
âIs that it, then?â He drops his hands, defeated.Â
âTerra, stop.â Ven mumbles.
âThatâs okay,â Terra continues. âItâs okay to hate me.â
Aqua shudders, that predatory rage about to burst.
âI hate you?â She steps forward, and Terra has the sense that sheâs about to stab him.
âNo.â He holds his hands up, yielding. After everything sheâs been through for him, itâs never been hate. Not even close. âIt was a stupid thing to say.â
âI hate you?â she repeats, through fangs.
âIâm sorry. I shouldnât have said that.â He wishes Rainfell were near, so he can touch it, and listen to what Aqua isnât saying, and tell her what heâs too dense to articulate.
She pauses within a few feet. The Heartless inch closer.
âAqua,â Ven pleads, âcome on.â
âAqua,â Terra says, âwe canât do this. You canât let these Heartless stay. I mean weâre Keybearers.âÂ
âYou think I forgot?â
âNo. Stars, Aquaââ
âWhat would you do to them, Terra?â she says, raising her voice. âWhere do you think they go if we vanquish them?â
âTo Kingdom Heartsââ
âDo you even know where or what that is?â She points to the smallest one, straggling away from the hoard as it scratches its antenna. âYouâd do that to her?â
âHer?â
âSheâs just a little girl.â
Ven pulls on Terraâs shirt. âStop fighting,â he says, so quietly.Â
Terra reads her face, her deciphered language. Her frantic eyes, the way they shiver, looking for an answer far away in the moon sheâs always seeing.Â
âAqua,â Terra says gently, needing to embrace her. Enclose the gap, fill the void between him and his Aqua, who will always be Aqua, and who will always have his heart. âI would never let that happen to you.â
âBut you look at me like Iâm the same as them.â She snarls. Which isnât true, it isnât. Sheâs living, sheâs feeling. Huffing, Aqua composes herself. With a fist in the air, the Heartless retreat. âThey stay.âÂ
âThey canâtââ
âThey stay in the forest and wonât go near the castle. You see?â she says with a sneer. âI want you happy, too.â
She dissipates, her fog following her little ones into the thicket.Â
Terra, his adrenaline now dissolving, falls to his knees. He didnât want to watch her leave. Didnât. Doesnât. Doesnât ever want to watch her leave ever again. Please donât go.Â
Losing the strength to keep himself up, Terra keels over and lands on his forearms, dropping his head to the ground in silent tears. This spot, this is exactly the spot: Master Eraqusâs final resting place, now pummeled by tears.
Ven shifts his feet. âI donât think she would have hurt me,â he says carefully, but unsure.Â
âVen, you need to know⊠The Masterââ
âI know.â So gently, so quietly.
âI didnât want to hurt him. I just wanted him to stop.â
âI know.â
Terra splinters, cracks, breaks into sobs. âI just wanted her to stop.âÂ
Ven kneels and rubs Terraâs back. âHey, you know what? You did make her stop. Things are okay.â
Terra canât breathe through the crying.
âEverything is calm now, see? Youâre exactly what Zack says, even without a Keyblade.â
A hero? Ven says this to cheer Terra up, to show how much Terra matters to a boy whoâs grown to look up and admire. Ven is so wrong.Â
Ven gives Terra time to compose himself, and when the tears dry up and Terraâs eyes sting as he rubs them, he says, âI need to teach you something.â
Ven perks up. âSure.â
âYouâre going to create a barrier against the Heartless, so they donât get to the castle.â
âBut she saidâŠâ
â... Just in case.â
âYeah. Okay.â
Ven steps forward, gripping Wayward Wind in both his hands.
âIt feels like pulling out a thread of your heart and orienting it into the ground." Terra settles, on his knees. "Remember to give her safe passage back home.â
âHow do I do that?â
âYour Keyblade is your heart, Ven. You want her home.â
âYeah. Okay, that makes sense.â
Ven draws on the ground with the tip of Wayward Wind, and a sparkling thread trails behind. A small little gesture, but powerful. He traces an arc around the patio, keeping the Masterâs memorial protected as well.Â
They wait a few minutes as lightning strikes green in the horizon.
âWhat do we do now?â Ven asks when heâs done. He doesnât will Wayward Wind away, too tense to let go.Â
âWe do the back as well.â
âAnd then?â
On the ground where Eraqus fell, Terraâs tears have soaked the fractured concrete. âWe find Rainfell.â
A week passed. Ven still hadnât come back from Twilight Town. Terra suspected that he wanted to give him and Aqua some more time alone. Terra didnât mind that in the leastâhe just wished Ven had talked to them about his intentions beforehand and how long itâd be until he returned.
Like they usually did, he and Aqua spent the evening on the summit watching the stars and talking about their day. Aqua had spent her day on a mission to Corona, which she recounted to him enthusiastically. He on the other hand had spent his day in the Land of Departure doing paperwork, and he listened to Aqua with some envy while she talked about how Rapunzel and Eugene were doing and what she got up to while exploring the beautiful green world.
There was a moment, Aqua said, when she saved a couple children from some Heartless that suddenly popped up on the outskirts of Corona city. They hadnât been giant Heartless and were relatively easy to dispatch, but it was concerning that they had come so close to the settlement. After sheâd gotten rid of the Heartless, the children had come up to her and thanked her.
âThey called me a hero,â Aqua said, sounding perplexed. âIâm not a hero, Terra.â
Terra didnât entirely understand why sheâd feel that way. Of course Aqua is a hero. She spent years trapped in the Realm of Darkness, never giving into it and always keeping faith in the light. She gave up her chance at rescue to save Riku, and not to mention she never stopped lighting his own way back to the Realm of Light. So there was no doubt in his mind of Aquaâs heroism.
âYou are a hero,â he told her. âTrust me.â
âBut Iâm not!â Aqua shook her head, frustrated. âI may be good at my job, but when it mattered I failed! I failed to stop Xehanort, failed to save you and Ven, and I let myself be consumed by darkness. I donât understand why anyone would call me a hero.â
âYou didnât fail, Aqua. Yeah, you didnât stop Xehanort in Radiant Garden, but you did save me, and you protected Ven. Thatâs not nothing.â
âYes, and look how that turned out,â she said bitterly. âI ended up letting Xehanort loose to do whatever he wanted in the Realm of Light, while I was trapped in the Realm of Darkness. He destroyed so many worlds and lives and no one was there to stop him until it was almost too late.â
âThen why did you do it?â he challenged her. âYou couldâve left me and Xehanort in the Realm of Darkness and you wouldâve been free to keep the Realm of Light safe.â
She looked at him with glassy eyes. âI donât know,â she whispered. âI just⊠reacted. I couldnât bear the thought of losing you to the darkness.â
Sometimes, in his worse moments, he wishes sheâd left him and Xehanort in the Realm of Darkness and saved herself. Maybe he wouldâve been completely lost to Xehanortâs darkness, but at least he wouldnât have had to endure years of having his heart enslaved to Xehanort, doing Xehanortâs will, and enduring the memories of what Xehanort, Xemnas and Xehanortâs Heartless had done to the worlds. And Aqua wouldnât have had to endure being trapped in the Realm of Darkness and wouldâve been there to protect the worlds, as she was supposed to be.
But in his better moments, he is grateful to be alive and free and with Aqua and Ven again, even if he has to put up with the dark memories, the guilt and the trauma, and heâs glad Aqua chose the way she did.
âIf anyone isnât a hero, itâs me,â he added. âYou at least tried to save the worlds. I went astray, got myself possessed by Xehanort and had to watch while he destroyed the worlds.â And was also forced to help him, he thought but did not say.
âWhy would you say that?â Aqua snapped. âYou donât get to call me a hero and then turn around and say that youâre not one. Youâre one of the most heroic people I know.â
âAnd youâre one of the most heroic people I know,â he snapped back at her. Then her words sunk in properly and he said, âYou really think that?â
âOf course I do!â Aquaâs eyes glared him, as if daring him to deny it. âYou spent ten years never giving up, never falling to darkness, always fighting against Xehanort. You guided me when I was in the Realm of Darkness and protected me and Ven when he attacked us in Enchanted Dominion. And you saved our lives when he tried to kill us in the Keyblade Graveyard with his corrupted chains. Why wouldnât I think youâre a hero?â
Oh. For a moment he didnât know what to say to that. Heâd never thought of himself as a hero, and everything heâd went through during his possession made him think that he definitely isnât a hero. So for Aqua to call him one felt⊠strange. However, it also warmed his heart.       Â
Then he thought of something else and couldnât help but laugh.
âWhat is it?â Aqua demanded, with some exasperation in her voice.
âWellâŠâ He looked at her with gentle, dancing eyes. âIf you think Iâm a hero, and I think youâre a hero, then maybe we are heroes, at least to each other?â   Â
âIâŠâ Aqua paused and thought about it for a moment. âI donât know. I suppose that makes sense. But after everything, losing myself to darkness, attacking Mickey and Riku, failing so many times and making so many mistakes, it feels hard thinking of myself as a hero. I donât know if Iâll ever get used to it.â
âI know what you mean,â he said quietly. âI feel the same way. But we can try. Like Riku reminded me not so long ago, everyone makes mistakes. Even heroes.â
Aqua was silent for a long moment, then nodded. âYouâre right. Riku is right, too. Do you think itâll get easier, with time? Will we be able to forgive ourselves?â
âI donât know,â Terra said slowly. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. âI hope so. Itâs the only thing we have.â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
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Aqua is afraid of her own reflection. Terra cannot bear to look at his for fear of seeing silver hair and golden eyes staring back.
One day, Ven has gone to Twilight Town to visit Roxas, Xion, Axel and Namine. Terra and Aqua stay behind in the Land of Departure to do some much-needed cleaning (and also have some alone time together). They spend most of the day either playing command board, sparring, cleaning, or cooking, and they are content.
At one point, late during the day, they are sitting at the kitchen table eating some fudge brownies that theyâd bakedâwell, Aqua baked and Terra helpedâand chatting about various things, like whatâs going on in the other worlds, missions theyâve been on, and what plans they have to rebuild the Land of Departure. They donât speak of Master Eraqusâthat is a forbidden topic, at least for now.
Then one of them accidentally knocks a glass of juice off the table while animatedly gesturing while trying to recount a particularly entertaining mission they went on in Atlantica, and Aqua goes to get a dustpan and cloth to tidy up the glass and wipe the spillage away.
It happens so quickly. One moment Aqua has left the room; the next, Terra hears Aqua scream.
A terror heâs only felt once or twice before strikes him. He canât lose Aqua again, not now. He runs as fast as he can toward the storeroom, hoping and praying that he is not too late.
He finds Aqua curled up on the floor. The shattered glass remains of a mirror lay next to her.
âAqua?â He approaches her tentatively, unsure what to expect from her. âIâm here.â
She jerks her head up and stares at him with wide eyes. âTerra? Youâre supposed to be in the Realm of Light!â
âI am in the Realm of Light. We both are,â he reminds her. âDonât you remember? You came back from the Realm of Darkness, woke Ven up, we all fought Xehanort and after it was all over we came home, to the Land of Departure.â
âHomeâŠâ She squints at him. It takes a long moment, but understanding fills her eyes. âYes. I remember.â
He kneels on the glass-ridden floor and tries to hold her in his arms and still her trembling body, but she just jerks away from him with a wary, almost scared look in her eyes. He tries not to show how much that hurts. Xehanort used his body to cause so much pain to a lot of people, and he doesnât blame anyone if they are wary of him at first. But itâs especially painful when Aqua shies away from him. Aqua, who usually is the first to defend him. It makes him wonder what she really thinks about him. Â Â
âWhat happened to the mirror?â he asks gently. He has a fairly good idea of what happened, but he needs to hear it from her.
âMirror?â Aqua frowns at him, then appears to remember. She looks at the broken glass on the floor. âI destroyed it. I saw her, my shadow⊠in there. Sheâs haunting me. I canât escape her, even hereâŠâ
Then she cries. It breaks his heart to see the normally cool, collected Aqua crying, especially knowing that it is his fault. She would never have this trauma if she hadnât been trapped in the Realm of Darkness, and she wouldnât have been trapped there if it werenât for him being possessed by Xehanort. So, it is his fault, no matter what she might say about that.
Part of him is unsure what to do, but he knows he canât just leave her like this on the floor. So, to hell with any protest she might have. He pulls her into his arms, holds onto her tightly, and carries her out of the storeroom and to her bedroom. She doesnât resist this time, to his relief. He doesnât know what he wouldâve done if sheâd fought back or refused to move.
He carries her to her bedroom and settles her in her bed. When he turns to go, he feels a cold hand grab his arm and hears Aqua rasp, âDonât go. Stay with me. Please?â
So he stays. He crawls underneath the bedcovers next to Aqua, and Aqua sighs and rests her head on his shoulder, as if she can relax with him there.
He doesnât know how long they lay there together like this. Neither of them says anything and Aqua eventually drifts off into a surprisingly peaceful sleep. He on the other hand is plagued by unwelcome thoughts. Thoughts of Xehanort, of the darkness, of the damage heâd caused and the lives heâd ruined, and everything the old man had done while using his body. Aqua and Ventus had forgiven him (Terra), but he isnât sure he can forgive himself. Especially after everything he did to Aqua.
Just past sunset, Aqua awakens and smiles tiredly at him.
âSleep well?â he asks her.
She nods.
âGood,â he says, trying but failing to smile back at her. He canât stop thinking those dark thoughts.
âThank you,â Aqua breathes out. âFor being there. And for staying.â She smiles at him again, and he canât help but think that she is so beautiful and he doesnât really deserve her. How he could hurt her so easily with one twist of his big hands. Â
âYouâre welcome,â he says. âAlways.â Â Â
--------------Â
Three days later, Aqua walks into Terraâs bedroom to find him staring at his bedroom mirror.
She knows instantly what this means. Heâs done this a few times already in the past since they came back, as if searching for any sign that Xehanort is still within him. Heâs gone into some place deep inside of him. It doesnât happen often, but that doesnât make it any less scary to her.
âTerra, heâs not here. Xehanortâs gone. Youâre free.â
He doesnât respond. Her heart clenches painfully. There are many things she can endure, but she couldnât bear to lose Terra, especially not to whatever darkness he is in.
She grabs his hand, shakes it. Then she does the same to his shoulder. âTerra, please⊠heâs gone. Youâre not him.â  Â
Sheâs practically begging, but she canât help it. She doesnât know what sheâd do if she loses Terra again, and she doesnât want to find out.
She keeps begging and eventually he finally comes back to himself and notices her there. But the only thing he does is turn and hold her close and bury his face in her hair. Heâs tremblingâshe can feel him shaking, and his tears dampening her hair.
It hurts to see him like this. They havenât talked much about what they both went through while separated, but sheâs seen enough of his nightmares and moments like this one to get an idea of how bad it had been for him. She wishes that she can wipe away all of his pain, but she canât. She can only hold his hand and help him through the worst of it. Â Â Â
âYou scared me,â she murmurs, once theyâve both calmed down enough to speak. âWhat happened?â
Terra draws a shuddering breath. âI donât know,â he whispers. âNot really. I couldnât stop thinking about everything he did in my body, everything I helped him do. And I thought⊠How do we know he is really gone? Iâm back to myself, but I have memories that I shouldnât have. What if something went wrong, and a piece of him is still inside of me?â
She keeps hold of his hand, anchoring him to reality. âTerra, look at me,â she orders. He looks. âYou need to trust yourself. Xehanortâs gone, and heâs not coming back. Heâs not going to hurt you or anyone else ever again.â Â
âI canât,â he says. âI canât trust myself. Not after everything that he didâthat I did.â Â
âIf you canât trust yourself, then trust me,â she says. âI know you, and I know youâd never hurt me or Ven. Remember when you came back in the Keyblade Graveyard? Xehanort attacked us and was about to let us fall to our deaths, but you swooped in and saved our lives. Weâd both be dead if it werenât for you.â
âI remember.â Tears stand in his eyes. âBits and pieces. I knew he was about to kill you both to get at me, and I couldnât let that happen. I had to protect you somehow.â
She squeezes his hand gently. âYou did protect us. Youâve always wanted to protect us. You would never hurt us. Ven and I have always known that.â
And he believes herâbecause he does trust her, more than he trusts himself at this point, probably. She can see it in his eyes. It scares her a bit, because she did fail at pretty much everything she set out to do, except keeping Ven safe. And she treated Terra badly in the days leading up to his possession and her imprisonment in the Realm of Darknessâshe can see that now. It bewilders her sometimes that Terra can still trust her or even like her, but sheâs also just happy to have him in her life again, so she never mentions it at all. Â Â Â
âYeah,â Terra sighs. âYouâre right. I just have trouble believing it sometimes.â
âThen believe me,â she says. âYouâre the kindest, most protective person I know. You would never hurt anyone, least of all us.â
He takes a deep breath, nods, and smiles tearily at her. She smiles back. She loves seeing him smile. It lights up his entire face.
Now that heâs calmed down, she supposes that she could just leave him, but somehow she doesnât like that idea. What if he spirals again? He needs someone with him to remind him that he is not alone. Besides, she wants to be there for him like heâs been there for her in her darker moments.
And so she leads them both to the bed and settles down on it. Terra follows suit, though he hesitates at first. Â
âYou donât have to stay,â he says quietly.
âOf course I do,â she responds. âYou need me. We need each other. We support each otherâthatâs what we do.â
And so they lay on the bed together, Aqua resting her head on Terraâs shoulder and smiling.
They both close their eyes, and before they drift off to a much-needed sleep Aqua thinks she hears Terra mumble under his breath, âThank you, Aqua.â  Â
if you recognize this, thats because I drew and created the graphics for @terraquaweek for this year's terraqua week!! thank you for collaborating with me đ§Ąđ
Terra/Aqua | Terra/Anti-Aqua
Rating: M
Word count: 4,443
@terraquaweek
Summary: Terra meets Anti-Aqua, and he's sorry for the things they did and didn't do.
Read on AO3
A/N: I was talking to a friend and we counted - counting the separate fics that are in my anthologies, this is my 40th fic about Terraqua and the Wayfinder Trio. 40!!! To those who were cheering me on from the beginning, thanks for being there. And to those who found me other times, I appreciate you so much! <3
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The library was a place to temperâthe best place to spend uninterrupted hours with Aqua, and the best place to keep up appearances. Books and homework were effective eliminators of fervor.  Â
Terra sat on the teal carpet, leaning against a bookshelf of Keyblade historyâs oldest tomes, and stretched his long legs, crossing them at the ankles. He kept reading the same sentence over and over, the words shrouding together.Â
Aqua sat across from him, mimicking his posture. On her lap was a heavy hand-written book where the pages were woven by a ribbon inside a worn leather cover. Affairs of the Heart, the Master of Mastersâs stupid magnum opus.Â
One month left until their Mark of Mastery. Standards for their essays were now entirely reliant on ancient texts, which discussed: the philosophy of connecting your Light to your Keyblade, ethics about fighting the Darkness, and nothing interesting Terra didnât already know. They were tests to see if they could decipher and regurgitate common knowledge (sometimes nonsense).
Aqua sighed, bringing Affairs closer to her face, as if she needed a magnifying glass to read the text. She nibbled the edge of her lip. Aqua had just cut her hair short, and the desire Terra had for years to tuck it behind her ear intensified. Whenever she tried, it sprung back forward. Terra could do it over and over and it would never stay. Itâs cute.
Terra shouldnât gawk. He cleared his throat. The words in his book ceased to have meaning. âWhatâs bothering you?â
Aquaâs jaw locked. âFor thâre art powers with nay mastâr,â she read.Â
âIn what context?â
âSome Keyblades donât have Masters.âÂ
Ah. Immediately what came to mind was the Masterâs Defender, something ancient and passed along to keepers of the Land of Departure. âInherited Keyblades.â
âIfâŠâ She stopped. The Master of Masters was archaic, and her brows furrowed. She chose her interpretation carefully. She read, âTake thy heart and lodge it yonder chain, and thee shalt findeth a way.â Â
âA way to what?âÂ
She shrugged. âUsing the Keyblades of your comrades.â
âIsnât chain too strong a word?âÂ
âI think he means link. He must be describing a bond that strong.â Aqua. Always the one to defend the forebears. âListen to this: Nay fooleth, taketh thy heart and maketh thy star seeth.â
Terra dropped his book to the floor. âI donât get where this is going.â
âWell, I think heâs using the term star to describeâŠâ She flipped a page. âA Light. Someone equal to you.â
âOr, heâs a clown. I donât think that book is serious. He wrote vaguely in riddles to confuse everyone.â
âWe could try it. Trade our Keyblades.â
Terra strangled a cough. He was really strangling a hopeful laugh. This wasnât the first time Aqua considered him an equal, but his heart hammered at the thought all the same. Her equal. His and hers.
And this was a very bad idea.Â
âWe tried that when we first conjured our Keyblades,â Terra said. Explosions happened. Earthshaker was desperate and too demanding. Rainfell was sensitive to emotion and needed control.Â
Aqua straightened the pages with reverence. âWe were kids.â
âIt was a disaster, or did you forget? We nearly burned down the garden. Rabbits were threatened, Aqua. Innocent rabbits.â
âAnd we didnât know each other as well.âÂ
âWhat difference does that make?â
Aqua licked her lips. Terra smiled. She was about to lecture. âOur Keyblades are an extension of our hearts, yes? And our Light is stronger through the bonds we make, therefore not only do our Keyblades become stronger, they shine more around the people we are connected to the most.â
âYouâre saying weâre good friends. How sweet.â
She rolled her eyes and flipped to a previous page and pointed to a sentence. âIt says here, To knoweth thy Key is to knoweth who isât thee lodging thy trust.â
âSo you trust me?â
She kicked his hip with the side of her footâand Terra captured it, pulling her until her ass dragged on the floor.Â
âNo, I donât,â she said, laughing. âObviously.â
He let her go. Then Terra felt the void. It haunted him more frequently at every ghost of her touchâa pat on his shoulder, a punch to the bicep, when she straightened his bangs, an accidental brush against her shoulder. Always through clothesâTerra never had a good excuse to casually run his fingers on bare skin.Â
Aqua rolled forward to her knees and leaned on him thigh-to-thigh. No void now, but a pressing worry over the possibility that one day, she would meet someone else that she would want to be touched by. She flipped the book over to show him.Â
Terra didnât take it. He couldnât even read. Her thigh, her thigh, her thigh.
âWhy is this that important to you?â
Aqua took the book back, surprised. âWell⊠do you know what this means for old Keyblades that are passed around?â
Terra bit his cheek. âIt means we have a lot to prove to a Keyblade like Defender.â
Aqua nodded. âThe Masterâs guest has a similar Keyblade.â
Terra leaned forward and nearly took her chin in his hand. He kept it balled to his stomach. âDonât tell me youâre worried about him.â
She raised her eyebrows. âI am, actually. We have this stranger judging us without knowing everything we went through. Think about it. If we could wield each otherâs Keyblades, it will impress the Master and his guest. Prove to them that our bond is strong and we deserve to pass together. Prove to them that we can wield our inheritances when the time comes.â
This late into their study? âDoes the great Master mention how itâs supposed to feel?â he asked. âWhen we correctly do it?â
When they touched each otherâs Keyblades as children, Aqua ran back to her room crying. She had said Earthshaker was ânervous,â in her words. But Terra knew better. His heart exposed like that, it became easy to read, and Terra couldnât talk to her for days after. Truthfully, he was ashamed that she sensed his insecurity, feeling how he compared himself to her, how he was frustrated with being two years older but at the same level as her, how he was obsessed with falling behind and keeping up and excellingâall within the open aorta that was his immature Keyblade. Probably felt sorry for him, too.
And the other truth? Terra cried by himself in his own room when she didnât know. Rainfell was confident, radiant, expansive despite Earthshaker being bigger, and Terra couldnât mimic that.Â
Aqua didnât look at him when she said, âHe mentioned the word ascendance. Itâs supposed to feel like weâre leaning on a friend.â She smiled at him. Did she feel the same about his own thigh or did it not register in her head at all? âI know we can trust each otherâs Keyblades. It shouldnât be hard this time.â
Terra didnât want to do it, but they built a metric relationship by testing the waters, by challenging each other, correcting technique, pushing and pushing and pushing to be better. If he backed out, Aqua would take it as though something was wrong.
Nothing was wrong. Terra was in love.Â
What he must do was commit the same calm control Aqua had with Rainfell.Â
Besides, he needed a win. Side by side for the Mark of Mastery, he needed proof he could stand next to her.Â
âLetâs do it.â
She beamed.
~*~
The library is destroyed. It has (had) multiple floors, but the upper levels are now barrages of torn shelves and mounds of books that make it impossible to climb the stairs. Thereâs no way to reach the shelf that houses Affairs of the Heart, but Terra tries looking anyway. Maybe the Master or Ven left it on a table before⊠everything. But itâs not anywhere. For the time being, Terra gets no answers to any of the lingering questions he has about how to help Aqua. Only a wish to cure her.
The rest of the castle is just as damaged. The east wing is entirely gone, and the west crumbles in most hallways, leaving gaping holes that invite broken bones. Rain pours through the open wounds on the roof, and seeps through the cracks on the walls, spreading mold. Terraâs bedroom is gone, half-collapsed over the cliff below, but Venâs and Aquaâs are intact.Â
The kitchen is submerged underneath its ceiling. A cauldron remains. Ven helps by pushing it while Terra pulls. When they drag it into the Masterâs study, which is untouched, Terra knocks over a lamp with the bump of his hip.
âI donât understand,â Terra says, catching the lamp before it shatters on the floor. âExplain to me what happened like Iâm five.â
Ven scowls when he inspects how dusty his hands got because of the cauldron. He claps them.Â
âWell,â Ven starts like heâs talking to a child. âOnce upon a time, the Master was mad at me. Terra came and saved me. Terra threw me in a voooortexâI know thatâs a difficult word to pronounceâso I didnât see what happened. Aqua saidââ
âVen.â
âAqua said she locked me away in an alternate universe of the castle to keep me safe.â
âWith the Masterâs Defender. Some secret only Masters know.â
âYeah, and she woke me up again. Well, no. I mean, Sora was the one to officially wake me up. Aqua transformed the castle back withâ âVen waves his hands like he doesnât know how to describe itâ âher incredible new powers. Itâs like time went backwards or something.â
Itâs impressive how Darkness can bypass a Keybladeâs spell. Then again, the Land of Departure is in the same condition Xehanort left it, from his own Dark curses.Â
âWhy not use the Defender?â
âWe need a duster in here.â
âVen.â
âI donât know. She said Defender doesnât respond to her anymore.â Ven shrugs.Â
Terra taps his fingers on the cauldron. Everything heâs been learning about what happened while he sleptâstars, why would anyone want him alive right now?
âHow is she?â
Ven scratches his shoulder. âSheâs still outside.â
Staring at the Masterâs memorial, in the rain, exactly where they left her. That's most of what she does now. Stare blankly.
âAt least sheâs nice to me,â Ven says. âShe hates everyone else.â
Terra inhales, gritting his teeth. Does Aqua have a shorter fuse? Yes. Does she judge people? Only when they truly deserve it. But hate? No. That is not Aqua.
"You're exaggerating."
"Pssh. Just wait until she wants to kill you."
Terra almost says, I don't blame her, but he keeps it to himself.
In the study is an ashen fireplace full of debris. The Masterâs personal journals are scattered on his desk, and his favorite booksâtomes, novels, childrenâs books he used to read to Terraâlay on a private shelf opposite. With how little itâs been disturbed, itâs almost as if the Master could open the door, ask them both why the cauldron has been moved here, to please move it back to the kitchen, and not to worry about the state of the castle. It can and will be fixed.
Except thereâs so much to be worried about. Thunder strikes the ground, and it sounds close. Rain pummels down the window, leaving a blurred view of storm clouds hiding the mountains.
âThereâs no mirror here,â Ven says.
Terra would chuckle, but nothing is funny anymore. âWhy are you worried about mirrors?â
âAquaâs making them all weird. I see things like⊠nevermind, I donât want to talk about it. Can you help me take mine out of my room?â
Terra wants to collapse. Everything is weird. âSure.â
âWhere are you going to sleep?â
Thereâs a loveseat in the study, but Terraâs too tall, so heâll need to find some clean blankets and nest on the burgundy rug. âHere.â
âAre you sure?â
âDonât worry about it.â
âWhatâs the cauldron for?â
Earthshaker still wonât answer when Terra commands it to. âI just need something to occupy my mind.â
âOkay.â Ven doesnât believe him. Thatâs because Terra is a terrible liar.Â
To shut out the silence, Terra pats Venâs shoulder and says, âCome on. Letâs get your mirror out.â
They leave the mirror in the resident hallway, at Venâs request that itâs left facing the wall.Â
That night, itâs still storming, the wind howling like itâs crying. Which is a problem. The Land of Departure is supposed to be the balance of Light and Darkness. These storms arenât normal. Lightning flashes purple, then green, then red. The rain leaves smears of muck. Aqua isnât normal. Nothing is normal.Â
Terra needs to busy his mind.
The way back into the kitchen isnât safe. Terra jumps over a hole that spawns beneath his feet, and crawls under columns that have fallen over to get to the pantry. Carefully, so he doesnât trigger a complete cave in. He grabs every herb he can safely reach.
Terra then spends hours removing stone slab after stone slab from the fireplace, some rotten with mold. He pushes the cauldron over the wood, ignites it with a Fire spell, and waits for the water to boil. As thunder rumbles outside, Terra rips dried leaves from stems and mixes them with magic-induced powders that the Master concocted years ago.Â
Itâs quiet. In normal times, he would be knocking on Aquaâs door, and they would sit on her bed and talk about what happened until morning. Normally, the castle lanterns would be lit, offering safe passage at night.Â
âWhat are you doing?â
Terra jumps at Aquaâs steady voice and nearly drops the ladle. Sheâs standing at the doorway. The light from the fire slices half her face in shadow. Her golden eyes glow.Â
âI didnât hear you come in.â
Aqua walks up to the Masterâs desk, and itâs no wonder why. Her steps donât make a sound. She places a silver hand mirror on the desk, face down. He recognizes it: she keeps it in her vanity drawer.
Terra turns his attention back to his potions. He feels terrible thinking this, but itâs nauseating to look at her. Her body oozes black smoke when she moves, and when he crosses her path in the halls, he finds her staring randomly at the walls, at statues, at shredded stained glass. When she notices his presence, he turns the opposite direction.Â
Itâs not that sheâs hideous. Itâs that he wants to pretend her condition is not his crime.Â
He can feel her staring at his back.Â
âDo you remember these storms?â he asks. They pass through the Land of Departure every twenty years, and lucky Terra and Aqua were around to see the last one. The Master had locked them up in this very study, while he braved the outside and fought this dark energy. The fact that another one is at their doorstep a year early is an omen.
A pause. âYes.â
Terra inhales to stop himself from crying. She sounds like she will never smile again. More than that, thereâs a buried edge to her voice and it crawls over Terraâs skin. Like heâs around a predator, his hairs stand and heâs careful not to trigger an attack.Â
âLook at me.â
Terra pretends to lean over the cauldron to mix, and lets the onslaught of steam threaten his fear away. Feel pain here, assaulting his face, and it overrides the pain of looking at her face.
But he canât pretend forever. He finishes his âwork,â and he turns. This frown is so unnatural for herâstill and unmoving, like sheâs dead. In better times, her frown made him laugh.Â
âDonât like what you see?â She leans on the desk.Â
Her face, her jawline that he wants to stroke with his knuckle, sad and torn up. Sheâs beautiful, and sheâs a reminder of every mistake Terra has made. Â
âItâs not like that,â Terra whispers, and he stares at his shoes.
âLook at me.â Stronger, with vice.Â
He does, reading her angry eyes, her bleached hair, the claws like needles into the wood. Her lips, pursed and tense. The length of her neck. The color of Darkness spreading over her arms. Her bare shoulders, the straps heâs taken off before.
âIâm sorry,â he says, her face blurring. Hot tears leave burn marks on his cheeks.
Her claws scrape the desk as she stands back up. âI donât care about your apology.â
âI know what youâre thinkingââ
âNo, you donât.â
âAquaâŠâ He licks his lips, and they taste like salt. Thunder roars. âWe have to fix the castle. To protect us. These storms are dangerous.â
âOh.â She crosses her arms. âHow bad.â
Stars, he sounds so stupid, considering what she survived. âWe have to think of Ven.â
Again, that predatory feeling that sheâs smothers into control. Terra braces for an attack, but none come. âYou think I donât?â
âStars,â he curses. âThatâs not what I meant.â
âI have already taken care of his room. Heâll be fine.â
Terra swallows what feels like thick goo down his throat. âOkay. Thank you.â
âIâm here to take care of this room.â
Terra gapes. Heâs expecting her to summon Rainfell, and bless the walls to keep him safe from the storm. But she doesnât. Sheâs standing there, glaring at him.Â
But of courseâthe shadows that dance with the light from the hearth dance on their own. They shift and warp. Sheâs creating a barrier for him with her Darkness.Â
âI get it, you know,â he says.Â
She doesnât respond.
He continues, âYou feel more in control like this.â
Her jaw locks. He studies her, really studies her. Her Light is still there but itâs faint. Rainfell is muted. Before, her power was like the sunâ too bright to look straight on, but one you can gaze at it in the reflection of water. Now itâs like⊠the wick of a flame in the fog.
Terra has a faint memory of being in the dark and a star dissolving in front of him. Well, star isnât a strong enough word for Aquaâs Light before the Guardian overpowered it and infected her with whatever this is. The Guardian wanted a sun, and the Guardian sucked all its hydrogen.
âWe can help you,â he says, standing taller.
âHow are you suggesting?â
âMaybe⊠we can remove the shroudââ
âExorcism.âÂ
âNoââ
âIâm not broken.â
âNo.â A nervous laugh escapes his mouth. âOf course not. Youâre strong.â
âDonât,â she snaps, snarling. She lowers her voice. âCall me strong. It isnât fair.â
Terra nods, and blinks away from her, wishing his tears would stop. Sheâs right. Nothing, including his tears, is fair to her.
âLook at me,â she says, gentler. She walks forward, her body warping through the desk like sheâs made of mist and thereâs nothing solid in her way. âEveryone averts their eyes. But I hate it when you do.â
Terra runs reasons in his mind to be brave. For her. For her pain. For his punishment. His tears now dribble off his chin.
âDo you have any idea how much I wanted to hear your voice all that time?â she says, stepping up to his face. She compresses one claw against his throat, right under his jaw. âHow quiet it was when I couldnât?â
This isnât what Terra had expected his future to be, if a miracle were to happen and they would be this close again. For hours that seemed like years and years that were millennia, Terra asked the stars if he could touch her one more time. Hand in hand, that was all he asked for. Â
âYes. I do.â He sniffs. She presses harder and Terra grits his teeth from the pressure. âI couldnât hear or see anything. All I did was dream memories. It was tortureââ
âTorture,â she mumbles. She presses even harder that her claw stings. How is she this close to him when he perceives her so far? So close, their hips inches apart.Â
âYes.â Terra swallows but canât. âAqua, all I had were daydreams of when I could see you and Ven again.â
Silence. She tucks her white hair behind her ear with her free hand, and it falls forward. The claw under his jaw shifts, and the artery at his throat throbs. She leans near, almost to kiss him, when she stops just before her lips grace his.Â
âYouâre breathing,â she whispers.
His blood pumps. Thatâs what this is. Sheâs measuring his pulse, that heâs real under her touch.Â
Sheâs still Aqua. Just weird. Weird like a jewel unrefined, still in its geode. For years, Terra hasnât felt, hasnât touched, only yearned. The restraint he has with her this close dissolves from tears of what-ifs.Â
Brave, be brave. He removes her hand, clutches it to his heart, and leans toward her. Leans until their foreheads almost touch, until he takes her cheek and strokes it with his thumb. Testing their distance, looking into gold while gold looks into blue. Gold glances down to his lips.
He kisses her. Her lips are cold like sheâs been in the snow, and it reminds him of bright mornings in white. Of dark, cozy nights by the fire. Of the wonder of seasons when he was young. Her lips are cold like steel when theyâre soft against his, and he savors them when he hasnât savored anything for twelve years. Her lips are no longer the way he remembers them, but theyâre Aqua. And the tongue he needs is Aqua, and the sigh she gives him is her. When he lets go, sheâs dazed, with his shirt balled in her fist and staring at the wall behind his shoulder.
âIâm sorry,â he says, letting go of the arm wrapped around her waist. âI couldnât help it.â
âYou know,â she says, âI canât feel much.â
He peels off the claw thatâs nearly tearing a hole in his shirt, and rubs it between his hands, over her scales, trying to thaw her. âDo you feel this?â
Aqua watches him work. âFaintly.â
âI can make you tea.â Cinnamon would be best considering its strong flavor, but itâs in the pantry, mixed with plaster. âJust give me a day so I can buy some.âÂ
She says nothing.
Terra exhales his anxiety, and brings her knuckles to his lips. The rubbing hasnât helped. Sheâs still icy, and he wants to wrap her with his body, throw fleece over her face. âI can make you something now if you want. Youâll feel better.â
âBetter,â she mutters, as if this offends her. She pulls her hand away. Her ice ghosts from his palms in waves, where his blood pumps warmth back with a tingling feeling. He canât deal with the emptiness between them. When she turns away from him, he clasps her wrist. âAquaââ
âIâm done with the room.â She dodges his hold. She makes him feel like his touch is accidental.Â
âPleaseâŠâ He doesnât say, Donât slip from me again. What should he say? Stay? Can we go to your room?
He doesn't mention they were supposed to find a hiding place for themselves the night they were supposed to be Masters together. Do they even have the same dream anymore?
âThereâs⊠a lot we need to talk about," he continues. "Between us. What happened in the Realm of Darkness. What happened the night before the Mark of Mastery?âÂ
She doesnât say anything. Not at first. âI thought about that night all the time.â
âI did, too.âÂ
Again Aqua has no response.Â
âThereâs no going back, is there?â he asks, afraid of the answer. âFor us?â
She doesnât confirm.
âThe mirror should help you see.â She slips away. The void screams when she silently leaves the room, past the firelightâs barrier.Â
The hand mirror is as cold as her hands, unbending metal in his tight grip. He flips it over. In his reflection is himselfâwhite hair, golden eyes, smirking in a way unnatural to him. Faded horns hover behind the crown of his head. The Guardian tucked away, a most loyal dog.
So Terra and this anti version of Aqua understand each other better than he realizes. Even with clothes on, theyâre naked. She finds herself more powerful now than she was before, and can rely on her new strength. A comforting thought for her, not having to wait for others anymore.
The truth that matches hers? Terra was stronger when Darkness overtook him, too. And he hates himself for it. Hates himself for wishing Xehanort was alive and lingering in the back of his mind, trapped like Terra was, so Terra could ask what he should do about Aqua, and Xehanort the wise would have an answer.
He hates himself for being a dog in the first place. Isnât the Guardian a literal manifestation of what Terraâs heart truly is? A Keybearer is supposed to be a source of Lightâthey need Light within their heart in order to summon a Keyblade. Maybe the Guardian is proof Terra shouldnât wield one anymore. Maybe Earthshaker has been swallowed.Â
He throws the mirror into the cauldron and listens to the glass shatter. Maybe this little shred of her Darkness would make his potion more powerful.
Terra gathers blankets from wardrobes that are still intact, and layers them together to make a bed between the loveseat and the coffee table. When heâs done filling vials with potions, he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling. Thereâs a crack too close to the chandelier. It could fall and crush him.
Terra exhales and suppresses the need to cry. He closes his eyes and rolls to his side, but the floor is too rock solid and his bones ache. He uses his arm as a pillow, and sighs. Given enough time, with the rain tapping on the windows and the fireplace alive with groans and cracks, Terra actually catches some sleep.
Until his eyes snap open in the middle of the night. The firelight is dead, and itâs black-dark. Rain still knocks on the windows. On his side, heâs looking at a shadow hiding under the table. The hair on his neck risesâwhoever is there is staring back, and he expects a claw to smite and scratch him.
Lightning strikesâit illuminates no one looking back.Â
Behind him though is a predator, sitting on the loveseat, watching his back. Terra pretends heâs still asleep.Â
Ven apparently didnât sleep much either. The next morning, Terra asks about Aqua. Ven says he woke up every hour and he noticed she spent the entire night not in her bed, but wandering the castle.
It's just past 7:45pm on the 6th of September in my time zone, so I might as well post my first Terraqua Week fic! :D
@terraquaweek
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Aqua opened her eyes to see the Land of Departure as it used to be, as sheâd done multiple times during her time in the Realm of Darkness. It wasnât realâshe knew that by nowâbut her heart still leapt in anticipation. For she knew this was a shared dream, and she would see Terra again.
It had been a while since sheâd seen him last. Sheâd first connected with him in Enchanted Dominionâor its dark counterpartâand later on theyâd continued meeting up either wherever Aqua was or in this dream-like place, an illusion their hearts had created.
âTerra?â
There was no response. He must be at the summit, like he always was in these dreams. She was standing at the entrance of their home, at the bottom of the mountain, so she must climb up to him.
It didnât take long. She was up there within moments, and then she saw Terra standing on the edge of the summit, gazing at the stars. His back was to her, but he turned when he heard her approach.
Her heart swelled ridiculously. It had been too long since sheâd last seen him, and she had to admit that sheâd missed him a lot. The Realm of Darkness was lonely and smothering and dark and her meetings with Terra were often the only bright spot she had. She wondered if he felt the same way about her.Â
She could see Terraâs eyes light up upon seeing her. But it saddened her to see the shadows in his eyes and on his face. It looked too much like her ownâtired, sad, heartsick. She hated thatâbut most of all hated that there was nothing she could do about it, since she was stuck in the Realm of Darkness and he wasâ
No. She didnât want to think about that just now. She tore her mind away from that line of thinking, took the final steps toward Terra and grabbed hold of his hand. Â Â Â
âIâve missed you,â she said. âItâs been too long since we last saw each other.â Â Â Â Â Â
âI know,â Terra said quietly. He looked at her, as if he were trying to memorise every inch of her face. âI missed you too. I always do.â
As always, the fear and worry for him rose up in her heart. He never told her outright what he was going through, but she could tell by the look in his eyes and his voice that it wasnât good. In fact, it was probably worse than he would ever admit to her. It hurt her to know that she couldnât fix anything, but she could at least distract them both from their troubles.
âLetâs just look at the stars for a while,â she said to him, and tried to smile. âWe can forget everything else.â
His face relaxed slightly, his eyes softened, and he almost smiled. âYeah,â he breathed out. âLetâs do it.â
So they both sat down on the edge of the summit and just gazed at the stars. Aqua didnât know how long they sat there in silence, but it felt good, wonderful. Then Terra spoke again and shattered the moment of comfort. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
âAquaâŠâ He refused to look at her and kept his gaze on the stars. âI donât think we should see each other anymore.â
âWhy?â It was a silly question. She had a fairly good idea of why these meetings had to end, but she needed to hear it from him. âI just⊠I need to know.â
She heard him swallow hard, painfully. He still didnât look at her when he said quietly, âYou should have almost reached the Dark Margin by now, so youâll be safe. You donât need me anymore.â
âI always need you,â she told him firmly.
He continued as if she hadnât spoken. âAnd⊠itâs dangerous being around me. The first time we met up, Xehanort almost attacked you and tried to used me to trick you into giving away where you hid Ven. I donât want to put you at risk anymore with my presence. I couldnât bear it if you were hurt because of me.â
She couldnât see his face, but she heard the tremor in his voice, and knew that he was just as hurt and reluctant as she was at losing each other again. Wanting to comfort him somehow (and also wanting some comfort herself), she squeezed his hand and rested her head on his shoulder.
âWhy have you kept coming back then?â she asked him quietly. âIf you were so worried about my safety around you, you couldâve just stopped coming after Enchanted Dominion.â
He laughed without humour and turned to look at her. âI couldnât bear to stop,â he admitted. âYou donât know what itâs like, stuck in a crushing endless void with only Xehanort for company. Youâre the only bright spot of light I have. I couldnât let that go.â
She understood completely. It was the same for her. After all, she was stuck here in the Realm of Darkness with no one but herself. She couldnât bear the thought of going back to suffering alone. Â Â
âYouâre the light in the darkness for me, too,â she admitted. âThese meetings⊠theyâve kept me going, while I was fighting Heartless and trying to survive in the Realm of Darkness. Even if itâs dangerous, itâs worth it to me, just to see you again.â
Her words surprised and heartened him, she could tell. For a moment, she thought he would change his mind, but then he bit his lip, squared his shoulders and said, âI just canât do this anymore. Iâm sorry, Aqua.â
Her face fell, but she understood. âThen this is really goodbye?â
She couldnât help the painful ache in her chest at the thought. She didnât want to be alone again.
Terra looked away from her, back to the stars so she couldnât see the look in his eyes. âI guess so.â
âWill you be all right?â
âI donât know,â he said quietly. She hated his answer but appreciated his honesty. âBut Iâll try to survive.â
âDonât just try. Promise me youâll keep fighting, Terra,â she urged him. âIfâwhenâI get out of here, Iâll wake Ven up and weâll find you and get you back. We wonât forget about youâwe would never do that. You just need to keep fighting.â
âAll right,â he said, after a moment of thought. âI will. I promise.â
âWeâll see each other again. I know it. And weâll all be together againâyou, me and Ven.â Â Â Â
âAqua, IâŠâ
She could see the words on his lips but covered his mouth before he could speak them. âYou can tell me when weâre both back in the Realm of Light. But for now, letâs just savour the time we have with each other.â She didnât know how much longer they had in this dreamscape, but she refused to waste another moment of it lamenting what they could not change. âDeal?â
He smiled at her slightlyâa real smile. It heartened her to see it. âDeal.â Â
Terra/Aqua | Terra/Anti-Aqua
Rating: M
Word count: 1,777
@terraquaweek
AO3 Link
Summary: Terra meets Anti-Aqua, and he's sorry for all the things they did and didn't do.
A/N: Hiiiiiiii everyone ahhh???? It's so good to be back, writing for my favorite ship ever. I've missed you all. I took the opportunity with Terraqua Week to write something new, but I've been meaning to finish my open fics for them. There are still so many scenes in my head that I want to put on the page. It's just been hard to find the time to write them as I work on my first novel. But I'm here!!! and I miss!!! all of you!!!! I hope you enjoy this one. I wrote it all in a month so there is going to be quality control issues, lmao but it is ANGSTY lmao.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Terra is watching. Terra is no longer watching. Terra is asleep, Terra isâ
Awake. Coming to, he inhales dust and dirt so sharply that his throat stings, and he drops hard on his knees, face slamming against cobblestone. He canât feel his legs, and his hips wonât buck over when he commands them to.
âAqua,â he mumbles, his tongue thick. He struggles to buoy himself up by the elbows. Where is he?
âTerra? Thank the stars.â Aqua kneels by him and guides his head to her lap. Storm clouds prey over the city of Radian Garden, snuffing out the sun overhead (Why is he here?). âWhere do you hurt?â Aquaâs hair is too short to stay behind her ears, draping over while her frightened eyes inspect him for injuries. Frizzy. He could reach up and smooth it back down, but heâs dizzy. If this is the last time he will touch her⊠She brushes the tips of her fingers over his cheek, cleaning it of dirt andâ
Smoke? Magic residue.
âTerra, stay with me.âÂ
Yes, he wants to. Heâs slipping, heâsâ
âSleep.
Stars, he yearns to. He snatches her hand and weaves their fingers together. He canât think like that. He can never let go again. Everything, everything, everything is going wrong but heâll make it right.Â
Xehanort. Thatâs the reason for the thunder ramming beyond the horizon.
No, the real reason is Terra being stupid.
âCan you stand up?â
Rainfell is left neglected on the ground next to her. Theyâve been fighting each other with their Keyblades. Thatâs what sheâs not telling him.Â
âI canât.â
Aqua blinks away her worry, but Terra sees past the armor. âThatâs okay. Youâre doing good. Youâre beating him.â
Bile clogs his esophagus. He needs to roll over and let it all out but he swallows it back. Swallows again and swallows hard to keep it in and not let Xehanort goâ
âSleep.
âAqua,â he says, his voice frail, âIâm sorry.âÂ
Aqua smiles morosely. Sheâs never been the type to rub it in.Â
Thereâs a lot to be sorry for. One: The Master is dead.Â
âSleep.
Two: They fought. In front of Ven.
âSleep.
Three: He left her behind.Â
Four, just to decapitate the dead horse: He never congratulated her on achieving her Master status.
âSleep.
And five: for that night before the Mark of Mastery. Terra had hoped there would be less stress the night after.
This canât be the last time he touches her.
âI know,â she says.Â
What was once a headache that jerked his forehead is now a quiet null, and heâs losing feeling in his fingers, the feeling of her skin.
His eyelids are heavy, and he sighs.
Aqua holds his chin and makes him stare into her eyes. âListen to me. Youâre strong. You can defeat him.â
Terra stretches the fingers in his free hand and tries to ball them into a fist.
âI canât find Earthshaker.â
âWhat?â
He tries againâthat small shred of Light he is supposedly connected to, the warmth of a friend who will always listen, the certainty of having someone there to help, is gone. Earthshaker wonât come.Â
This is what itâs like to have regret. Tell me, how does that honor our Masterâs memory, Terra?
âI know Earthshaker. It will always be there for you,â Aqua says, so confident and so wrong, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to get him to stand.Â
Terra flinchesâa profound image of choking her invades his senses, bleached knuckles that wonât respond to him, rigid around the same neck heâs buried his nose in before.Â
He leans over on his side, too weak to push her off. âAqua, just let me go.â
âNever,â she snaps. âHow can you ask that?â
âHeâs coming back.â
âDonât be ridiculous. We can fight him off together.âÂ
How does that honor our Masterâs memory?
âSleep.
In a page tucked away on some textbook Terra has always hated reading for its archaic nonsense, was a line: Fâr our lighteth in the dark hast us by the heart, at each moment.Â
Too heavy for her, Aqua brings Terra back to rest on her lap. When theyâre weak, theyâre supposed to be each otherâs Light to guide them back home. Thatâs what the Master said. One star to find another lost in space.Â
(And when stars flicker out, they explode in a supernova, then disintegrate into a black hole. That is something the Master refused to discuss. Their job was not to let that happen, period.)
âTerra, stay with me?â
For a moment, the lights go out. For the next, they come back on. Terra looks up at her blue eyes. She knows whatâs happening to him, from the way she quiets down and rubs her thumb on his jaw.Â
âYou just have to find your Light again,â Aqua says. Sheâs talking about Earthshaker. Sheâs talking about Ven. Sheâs talking about going home together. âAnd this will be over. Then we can find our own little hiding place.â She soothes, stroking his cheek. âLike we promised.â
Butâ
But, just in case, Terra squeezes her hand one more time. Heâs going to have to let go.
Terra lifts his head and points with his nose to beckon her to go lower, to get closer to him, as if heâs telling her a secret. Closer, enough for him to lean up with whatâs left of his strength, to press his mouth on hers, and open his lips, and ask for more. She trembles against him, and he kisses her again, and inhales her smokey sweat and lavender shampoo with all that he wants to say but has lost the voice for.
Thatâs his last memory before sinking into the black hole. Someone far away says, âIâm with you,â planting one little star into his hand that he can caress to his chest while he slips into something like sleeping. Then he tears apart.
~*~
Awake. Awake?Â
Terra sits up. He rolls to his hands and knees, and coughsâthereâs sand crumbling under his tongue, and he spits out the remains.Â
After he nearly gags from what doesnât come up, he realizes. Sand crumpled underneath his fist, as if he was in the middle of choking someone. More sand caked into his nails. A musty odorâhe needs deodorant. That numbing feeling on his wrists that means he needs to shake them off. Wake them up. Awake. Heâs breathing, and itâs hot, and heâs sweaty, and heâs hungry.Â
âTerra!â
It happens so quickly, the way Ven rushes to Terraâs side, and checks his eyes to see if theyâre blue. Terra doesnât register a single word out of Venâs mouth but he registers the feeling of Venâs chest crushed against his, muscle trapping boy in a hug. Cheek to cheek, the sound of tears and tears.
âYouâre crushing me.âÂ
Terra lets go, but not the shoulders. Itâs too early to allow the feeling of someone slipping away.Â
Ven is the same as he's always been. All bones. âYouâre still chubby in the cheeks,â Terra says, smushing them between his giant hands.
âFuck you.â
âWhat is that language?â But Terra is crying, messing with Venâs well-kept hair.
âUgh, why.â The disturbed styling cream flattens the cowlick Ven likes so much and his attempt to make it right dwindles. But heâs smiling. Crying, too. âIâve missed you.â
âMe, too.â More tears.
Ven stops his fussing and lowers his hands. His voice breaks. âI thought Iâd never see you again.âÂ
To make up for it, Terra tries fixing Venâs hair for him. Thankfully, considering the result, thereâs no mirror nearby to upset Ven. âHey. Itâs over. Weâre safe. Weâre back together andââ
Terra looks around. Theyâre in the Keyblade Graveyard, somewhere within starched erected stone walls that are falling apart. But Terra doesnât understand why theyâre here. He tastes smoke. Magic residue.Â
They fought Xehanort-as-Terra here, and Terra doesnât remember much except reaching for a night sky. She was here, he was certain. A star gauzed behind clouds and he reached, and reached and caught Xehanort by the throat.Â
âWhereâs Aqua?â
Ven doesnât respond.Â
Terraâs heart pounds, assuming the worst. Did he hurtâ
âUm.â Ven wipes his hands on his pants and stands. âSheâs different.â
Terra gets off his knees. Heâs unbalanced, swaying with his heavy legs, and Ven holds him up by the arm. âWhat does that mean?â
Ven grunts his disappointment. He points behind Terra, to a wall that bends open to the rest of the labyrinth. âSheâs behind there. She fought with meâ âagainst Terraâ âthen left.â
Terra trips on his feet as he limps. How different? Hurt-different? Tired-different? Furious-different? Furious with him? Wonât want to ever talk to him again-different, and thereâs no turning back-different?Â
He catches himself at the side of the wall. âAqua?â
Rustling and steps respond, in the slice of shadow around the corner. Terra looks over.
Two little orbs, lights in the shadow that remind him of monsters, stare back at him, waiting before the onslaught. Terraâs instinct is to call Earthshaker, but it still wonât come. Left defenseless, how fast will the monster get to him if Terra yells? How fast will Ven come to the rescue?
But a second passes by before he realizes what heâs looking at. Golden eyes in fury, white hair, pulling her ripped sleeves, inked in black, to hide her red claws.Â
She looks like a creature.Â
When Terra was six, the Master would tell him stories of valiant heroes defeating monsters with eyes like lanterns, which seduced victims into thinking theyâre safe, and made them follow false lights until they were isolated in the dark.Â
Aqua shivers. âYou,â she says. Her voice is steady and solid, but he hears all its cadences. Rage, sadness, something like relief but too numb to feel it.
Terra steps toward his monster but he lowers his gaze from her glare. If he doesnât see, then itâs not as bad as he thinks.
This is what itâs like to have regret. Tell me, how does this honor our Masterâs memory, Terra?
He coaxes her into his arms, and rests his mouth onto her forehead, letting her heave dry sobs into his shoulder while his hot tears trickle down to her hair. She smells like ash. Sheâs freezing.
He doesnât have the courage this time to apologize. He almost asks if sheâs okay. Stupid question. âLetâs go home.âÂ
Aqua says nothing. She doesnât hug him back. All she does is bore her wild eyes into him, long enough for Terra to break his avoidance. He sees not his reflection in that golden color but a silhouette of the moon.
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We will certainly be starting on Friday the 6th!! But it seems that means Day 7 will fall on Thursday the 12th, not Friday the 13th.
Not to worry! This means will have an extra day for anyone looking to catch up on prompts. We want to still honor the 6th as that's the day we chose to start.
@terraquadreams Spice Weekend will still be Saturday the 14th, and Sunday the 15th as planned.
Sorry for the confusion but we're so excited to look forward to everyone's submissions!