well reading the blog back i guess a few of us hold different parts of it. the melancholy and softly wanting something i know ill never get belongs to me. i share the anger with sean, i think sean has the anger, and sometimes the indifference. or the anger calcified into a grudge for being lied to. scott has all that panic. he has no choice but to be the one feeling the terribly intense stuff.... hes the only one with the mind to process it. i dont know i could feel that. maybe id get forced out. yeah, i think id get forced out whenever something happens because it's scotts to deal with. he's the one with hopeful vague faith, or who forgets. it depends on the context.

rudy's (me i guess) holding all the care about what happened with ellis so scott can ignore it . plurality is very useful for when you really want something that will never hapen - just obfuscate all or most of the pain onto a fragment of your identity thats not who you are when youre around anyone. (not even when id talk to ellis becuase i never conceptualized my mind like this then... it was a long long time ago and ive gotten a lot less of a person even though i wasnt one then). Great Success

too fucking sober for this

“chicken running around with its head cut off” is what rudy called me.

fuck rudy and his stupid mean thoughts surfacing while IM in charge

ok well jow i want to change my name to darren but i just went thru all the shit bruh.

im probly a fr system but im homeless rn so idgaf about that

my instinct is to numb everything.

im probably plural but im homeless so i dint rlly have time for that

sc woulda loved that spaceman shirt lol. rudy too probably

im straight up not meant to wear glasses

maybe ill put on jcs outfit and try to coax him out lol