regret.png

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7941685

this one was p hot too but i’ll admit i just skipped immediately to chapter 3

but i see no way to solve any of these problems

why am i horny

a. i will never get to do anything on my kink list

b. im a disgusting ugly waste who will never be attractive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWIjvPuY2jo

miku singing about ways to torture/murder me is pushing some buttons

now that i’m using this blog again this is mostly just my place to be simultaneously sad and horny

so i guess i last used this blog at the start of 2015??? damn

well lets recap all the sexy (phhhahahaha yeah right) shit that happened

i tried actual real-life master/pet stuff for the first time ever, and only found disappointment and had my heart entirely crushed and my feelings and self-worth disrespected by an emotionally manipulative person

you know that saying that when youre doing kink with significantly younger partners, especially first timers, you should be sure to “leave them better off than you found them” mentally, emotionally, etc. yeah the people i was involved with did the polar fucking opposite

i want to be a pet but i dont trust anyone anymore on that level

im on heavy psychiatric and endocrine medication that has severely suppressed my sex drive, i still cant achieve orgasm (i was going to see a specialist but i ended up not having the money bc i currently have more pressing health problems than “cant cum”) and i’m honestly dealing w a lot of mental psychosexual shit especially at the moment

i dont jerk off anymore, havent in like.... 6 months now, and last time i think i just gave up

lately i just look at anime porn and go “nice” and think about anime women causing me pain for physical gratification