anti hetsex warrior

Ok i feel better im going to take a nap

I didn't fucking sleep all night because im too retarded omg

It's 4:10 am giving up on sleeping today

And I was like creating fake memories to feel worse about myself

I seriously cannot believe Ive been up until 4am trying to reassure myself GOD

Wait nvm its not that deep actually

If my mom didn't know what im up to i would Try to fake a stomach bug and get out of eating tomorrow i can't handle eating tomorrow at all just like i can't handle sleeping tonight

Its 3am I dont want to fall asleep because Im convinced ill have a horrible nightmare and proceed to throw up when I wake up

Sorry im probably flooding everything and making it annoying ill stop

The only way I could be happy rn would be if I could like throw up a lot everything I've eaten since birth and stay in the bathroom for many hours and days and have my stomach and eyes and throat ache inmensely until I am certain there's like nothing left and when I walk out I can redo a lot of things and do all my life right

It means I'm like special but in a bad terrible way that only harms everyone around me and the world

It sounds insane but it's like the only explanation to what has been my life I don't tbink anyone from outside my mind can understand why this keeps happening and I keep fucking up yes so I fucked up my life myself but that's only part of it the rest was planned to push me over the edge

Ppl tell you nooo you can't kys you can still do good but my existence itself is evil and causes evil most people who have associated with me have had bad stuff happen to them no joke