nothing happened twice

Self care is going into a corn field at night to get abducted by aliens

How much longer until ancient deities and creatures awaken to defend the planet and we enter a new age

Depression Humour is such an age specific thing like i was walking down the street and narrowly avoided getting hit by a speeding car and a middle aged woman said “You could’ve died just now!” and i said “yeah if only.” and she just stared at me in shock. Like yes i hate being alive but I’m going to get these jokes in before i permanently clock out of my shift

masturbation and hating myself are my only hobbies

occupation: very sleepy girl

i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry

Or alternatively “I have a ten minute obligation at some point and I need all day to prepare and recover”