Temporary Zookeeper

I wish to have the confidence of a child running up to the bobwhite quail exhibit exclaiming “puffins!”

Why pay to go caving when you can squeeze under the exhibits and meet Roach God for free? 

Shoutout to the middle school girl at work today who complimented me on my red-framed glasses, let me know she’s bad with names (I told her I am too) and then asked me about zookeeping. I may have forgotten your name but I’ll always remember your enthusiasm about my work! And that you closed the conversation by complimenting my glasses again. 

Animals I've walked on a leash that shouldn't normally be on a leash: -An opossum -A turkey

Zoo visitor seeing a zookeeper carrying a bottle of gatorade and Bojangles: "Are you feeding the animals?"

Despite being what keeps us open, zoo visitors are actually the worst

Zoo animals just do anything in public huh

Sometimes I see a visitor doing something dumb and I just want to go feral. Absolutely tear into them like a hungry tortoise tears into a bowl of vegetables.