that's how you and i will be.

Jade Jagger, daughter of Mick and Bianca Jagger, with Andy Warhol's boyfriend Jed Johnson in Montauk, New York, 1976.

LILA'S PERCEPTIVE, BUT SHE'S NOT A MIND-READER. In this moment, it feels good that she can say something that, upon reflection, sounds hokey and nonsensical, without immediate pushback.

<<You don't want to argue with me?>>

it won’t be long now.

it creeps up on you, doesn’t it?

stop staring at me. 

i’m not the one asking stupid questions. 

hey, dorkus. 

i was not trying to kill myself. 

it’s okay. you don’t have to say anything. 

i know this is rough, but you’re doing a great job. 

what’d you say that for?

i’m not telling you anything. 

do you want to go to a party?

i promise it won’t be awful. cross my heart. 

opportunities don’t come swimming back to you if you throw them away. 

i’ll fix you up.

do you always have to be such a moron?

it’s such a waste.

that’s one handsome piece of art. 

don’t you even think about it. 

that’s what i want for you. i want you to know only the very best people. 

i don’t know what you’ve been told about me, but it’s probably not true. 

i should take you out for ice cream. 

congratulations, sherlock. that only took you a few centuries to figure out. 

i could kill him if he weren’t already dead.

it’s only the biggest newspaper in the country.

don’t hide your light.

i’m not, like, three years old, you know.

it’s in the woods behind the school.

you’re not scared or anything, are you?

that’s kind of a creepy thing to ask, isn’t it?

he talked about you all the time. 

art isn’t about drawing or painting a perfect bowl of fruit. it’s about ideas. 

you have enough good ideas to last a lifetime.

whatever. i don’t want to know.

you can come down whenever you want. i mean it. night or day. 

hey, it’ll be alright.

you don’t take money unless it’s family.

the kinds of things i want don’t cost money.

you want to go for a walk or something?

you ever play d&d?

come on out. it’s not funny.

sometimes i think about things like that. what it used to be like. 

ugh, don’t be so gross.

i’m not a baby. 

why does everything need to turn into an argument? 

thirteen is the moment right before you slip away into the rest of your life. 

you can have a think on it. 

i’m just some stranger to you. 

you’re an adult. you can go wherever you want. 

i’m not worried. i’m just asking. 

i can’t promise that. 

i don’t come out good in pictures. 

i think that woman thought we were a couple. 

there’s got to be a place where we can do whatever we want. 

do you want another piece? 

i’ll probably be in big trouble. 

you said that last time.

i know all kinds of things you don’t. 

you’re a romantic, [name].

i’ll take a nice ripe camembert. 

if you let this pass, you’ll go through your life and you’ll get to be my age and you’ll sit in your kitchen thinking what a fool you were. 

it is a little weird, but in a good way, like art. 

i guess i’m nothing to brag about. look at me, i’m a mess. 

i used to be jealous of you, you know. 

look, i don’t even really know how to play chess. 

do you not like butterflies?

it’s one of my fiddly-hand things. 

the worst is over, alright? 

i know how to wait for a cab.

i’ll be honest. i’m not a big fan. i don’t see the point. 

go get your coat. i know a rooftop where we can see the fireworks.

oh, my god, i knew you had some secret boyfriend. 

you are so dead.

i got you. i knew it. i can see it all over your laughing face. 

you are the biggest loser, [name]. 

i’m serious, okay? just don’t do anything stupid. 

i hate jeans.

it looks like you’ve been crawling around in mud. 

this will be like old times. 

honey, i know you don’t want to. 

one way to stop things from feeling so raw is to blanket over the memories. 

it was something right out of a movie. 

one day you’ll understand this better than you do now. 

we’re miles past any of that mattering anymore. 

you do know that if you ever need anything, you can ring me, right? anything at all. 

i’m so sorry for everything. all of it. 

i wasn’t sleeping. just resting with some brandy. 

i still owe you a story. 

go to bed. 

you are so hopeless. 

maybe i’m trying to help you. did you ever think of that?

you really think you can keep your big secret forever?

i won it? i won a game? 

i’m going to tell you a couple things, and i’m going to trust you not to make a big deal about them. 

so, does that solve all the mysteries of the universe? 

complicated is the bad one. complex is good. 

you can have whatever you want. 

it’s the most unhappy people who want to stay alive, because they think they haven’t done everything they want to. 

you’re turning me into mr. miyagi with all this talk.

if my life was a film, i’d have walked out by now. 

look, it’s nice out. for once you haven’t brought the rain with you. 

none of it’s fair. 

spying can make a girl skittish. 

you’re not dying. you’re just drunk. 

i’m scared, too. 

oh, i see. nerd courtship rituals. 

you don’t know everything. you think you do, but you are so far from knowing everything. 

do you even know how much trouble you’re in? 

you’re so stupid. you’re such a complete idiot. 

get your hands off my stuff.

i hate you.

you’re such a liar.

i promise it’ll be better than sitting at home on your own. 

i love dumb things. 

we could go in the summer. 

shhh. it’s okay. 

see? see how much he loved you? 

as you head into adulthood, you may occasionally encounter oversized exotic beverages of an alcoholic nature. 

you can build a whole world around the tiniest of touches. 

sit down, have some breakfast. 

maybe i don’t want to be great. maybe i want to be average. 

sometimes i lie in my bed and i look around my room and i can’t believe i’m not supposed to be a kid anymore. 

you’re making it very hard for me to trust you. 

on top of that, you’re grounded. 

it’s like you really don’t understand the magnitude of what you’ve done here. 

if this is some kind of cry for help, we’re hearing it, okay? loud and clear. 

it’s good to hear you say that. 

it’ll be okay, honey. don’t worry. 

do you know what it’s like to hope for someone to die?

how evil is that? how totally evil am i? 

you’re so, so lucky. why are you so lucky?

it just feels like i’m being pulled out to sea. 

as if listening to that would ever get anyone in the mood.

you’re lucky you were never attacked out there. 

you have seriously got to find a way to lighten up. 

come on, you have to eat. 

okay, kid. whatever you want. 

i didn’t know where you were. i had no idea what happened to you. 

it was a bad idea. the worst idea. i’m so sorry. 

are you okay? are you sick? what do the police do to you?

you can’t go all by yourself. 

i’m just not a good person. 

it’s like we’ve known each other all these years without even seeing each other. 

you didn’t know that was me, but it was.

i don’t want to leave this planet invisible. maybe i need at least one person to remember something about me. 

i’m taking you home. 

i’m starting to think i never should have said that. i’m starting to think it was a bit on the open-ended side. 

it’s safe with me. i promise. 

no inappropriate comments and no scenes, got it? this whole thing is embarrassing enough. 

sometimes she thinks xeno got dropped on his head one too many times as a baby. she doesn't vocalize this. she leaves that boldness to greta, who has never minced her words for anybody.

"toby..." there's a waver in his voice, one he's quick to swallow. xeno's off-balance, and not from the elbow knocking his ribs. he's caught in the reverse of how this usually plays out; toby, the one who's picked him off the ground all the times he's gotten too high. now it's his turn.

slipping through the gap she leaves him, he spins on his heel once inside, facing her while walking backwards.

"i," huff, "don't eat piss cornflakes, thank you very much." no, he's too busy walking in circles around greta's room, kicking imaginary rocks.

xeno glances over his shoulder at finn, laughing. "yeah, we should totally invite her. she can set us right on southern living and we can give her a good story to shock all her friends with back home."