Telli Talks

I am a sucker for a feel-good story where they always win in the end. I like the whole, growing as a person thing and atoning for your actions.

Sofia Carson (you might know her as Evie from Disney Descendants) plays a Big Hollywood dancer; or at least she would be if she didn’t knock one of the biggest musical producers in New York off the stage causing her to break her leg after stealing her taxi and locking her out of it, to be on time for her audition.

After failing to make it big, and being evicted from her apartment because she forgot to pay rent; she heads back home to her small rural Wisconsin Home where she feels moody and down in the dumps sad for herself. She runs into her old dance teacher who convinces her to come to her old dance studio where she demeans all the young dancers hoping to achieve their dreams.

Then, later she runs into her old boyfriend. This is where we are supposed to feel bad for her; because they had to break up after she left to go to New York. Later, she discovers a flyer tucked into her bag by the dance teacher that convinces her to teach the students. For her own selfish motivations. We start to see her become a better person slowly over time; but she still has that core feeling of doing this only for her own gain.

We begin to learn about the other characters and their backstories, watching as all these misfits become a group as they support each other and come to their rescues. 

But then... THE CLIMAX

They do the thing! They WIN!

She leaves.

but she feels guilty for abandoning them and so sets aside her own selfish motivations and risks her secure future to become one more with the group, hoping they’ll forgive her once more and they join the group and do it well.

At the all end then, she and her ex-boyfriend get back together (who didn’t see that one coming, folks)-they were literally being set up from the get go as soon as the boy was introduced.

I couldn't decide what I wanted to do today; so I decided to watch Netflix. Then I couldn't decide what I wanted to watch on netflix; so I went to new releases, scrolled and picked whatever my finger landed on.

It turned out to be Tall Girl, the movie that people have been talking about since it came out in September. Well, a promise is a promise, and this promise was to watch whatever my finger landed on... so, here goes nothing.

I have so many problems with this movie it's not even funny anymore.

1) Date me, I'm a nice guy. I've been your friend forever. Date me. Date me DATE ME. Seriously? Dude, if you can't take no for an answer how are you ever going to deal with every other no you get in life. Take the answer and accept if. Like if I was being bugged by you every single day for the same exact reason I'd get suspended from school for punhing you in the face. She gave you her answer. Now leave her alone!

2) What, I'm not good enough to date you? You have some sort of magic checklist that I'm supposed to hit before you'll date me? Seriously, we've been firends for years; just date me! Shut the fuck up, would you?! She has a right to be specific for whom she wan'ts to date. Leave her the fuck alone. Give up, she's not interested. No means no, for a damn good reason. 

3)Jodie, your fucking parents wanna drug you so you won't be growing taller, like what the fuck? That's some serious bullshit red flags right there and that doctor should have seriously reported this. Doctor patient confidnentiality only goes so far as to not cover the fact that something like 'can we stunt my daughtpr's growth' is a serously dangerously possible thing and can and will cause lifelong consequences. But hey... it could be worse right? (psch- bad is bad, it doesn't matter the reason)

4) Ok, you're tall. We get it. But there's more problems you could be having than idk having to wear size 13 men's nikes. Like oh I don't know. We are on the brink of World War 3... or Ausrailia is on fire. Hey, yeah your parents wanted to drug you as a child so you wouldnt be tall; but at least your parents didn't actually illegally drug you becasue they had no idea how to handle you as a small child with ADHD... Yes, your problems are valid; but do you know just how many people would kill to be as tall as you are. I can tell you this for certain. As gay as I am, a tall girl giving me attention would fuk me up on all sorts of levels of yes please.

5) Have you ever given any thought to your sister as well? Its mentioned that she's been doing beauty pagents from 6 years of age. Did she decide she wanted to do them? Bcause like from what I know its usually because the mother chooses to put the child intho the pagentry. It is also mentioned that the mother used to do pagents. Also can we please talk about how they're eating dinner while Harper has to try on dresses for the pagent? Whose idea was this?

6) Has a suprise like 'oh we're the host familyfor the girl you're crushing on's crush' ever been a good idea? Much less 'suprise we're a host family'? LIke yeah, it's coo to be the one to introduce someone to new things but not if there's already tension, not to mention the fact that they're teenager. Suprises are generally never going to be a good idea.

7) 'If you see me eating carbs, I need you to slap me across the face.' Yeah becasue that's not going to hurt anyone who already sees themseles in a bad light. 'Man I look fat on camera' IS ALREADY VERY SLENDER. Like wtf is wrong with poeple. This is how you get body dysmorphia. This is how you get eating disorders. THIS IS HOW YOUR HAVE A TEENAGER IN THE HOSPIATL WITH A FAILING HEART BECAUSE THEY STARVED THEMSELVES INTO ARRYTHMIA AND NOW THEY NEED A TRANSPLANT. FUcking societal norms and whats to be expected.

8) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOONE NEEDS TO MAKE POTTERY LIKE THAT OK

9) Are you seriously trying to learn how to throw knives using a blown up photo of your competition? That..... seriously can't be healthy. Please, get some therapy. I'm begging you.

10) Makeover montage... yay. Because if you want a boy to like you going outside of your bounderies as who you are as a person is the way to go. Really? Are we trying to teach people that to make others like you you need to become someone you're not. I don't like this lesson.

11) Bullying. Seriously? Fuck that.

12) Fareeda is seriously the best character of this entire movie. Hands fucking down.

13) urghhhhhhhh this has all the chile's and they're not even good here like. Girl hiding from enemies accidently runs into the guy she likes? Musical duet, with paino and singing. A Love song at that, I means eriously. Com'on.

14) Your dad is trying so hard to make you being tall be a normal thing, that it's doing the exact opposite and having a detrimental effect instead.

15) Oof. Ok I know that Jack has like the worst crush and iit's really quite bad and i'm not ok with it.but being turned down that hard must've hit him right in the heart. Oof.

16) You might not like the girl... BUT YOU DONT BREAK THE CODE OF SISTERHOOD. Never kiss a taken person! That is wrong on all sorts of levels.

17) I KNOW YOU'RE A PAGENT QUEEN BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP HARMING YOURSELF AND START TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!

18) And then you have to go and slap your sister?! I mean yes she told you to, but i doubt she actually meant it. Also like never slap your siblings period. Youre teenagers, its time to act like youve learned what words are and to use them.

19) Ouch dude. But like... seriously... this is still not cool. From either of you. PS. you're starting to get creepy.

20) I don't even know what is going on anymore, I'm so confused. ...reminds me of my time in high school.

21) Ouch...

22) Oh yay... high school drama. Now I'm glad this is a) a movie and b) not my social life in high school

23) ... ooookay thennnnnnnn...

24) Teenagers and their idea of relationships. This is not how you do commitment.

25) But this is however how you do sisterly relationships.

26) Sooooooooooo not how you do relationships.

27) Dad points.

28) You don't go into a sleeping person's bedroom.

29) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?!

30) THIS IS WHY YOU DONT GO INTO A SLEEPING PERSON'S BEDROOM AND THEN TOUCH THEM!

31) This apology is acceptable to me.

32) Oh holy shit...

33) DANCE TIME... aka makeover montage

34) YAY Popularity Contests!

35) Nice slide outta the way there Harper.

36) Now that's one way to get everyone's attention.

37) Best apology out of the whole movie.

38) Fucking vibe check the whole dance there. Fuck yeah,

39) I'm not rooting for this guy. Just yeet him to the curb.

40) Jodi, really?

41) HECK YEAH JODI!

42) Ok.... DID NOT SEE THAT PART COMING

43) More smooching. This time all parties enjoy it.

44) Ok... I guess that ending wasnt too terrible.