"Things My Roommates Have Said" Starters Part 2
"It's one in the morning! You can't just knock on people's door and ask them if they know some random cat"
"But how much do they know about The Great Japanese Professional Baseball Crisis of 2004?"
"If there's knocks on the back door always answer with a knife in hand"
"When you date tall people they just get all the top shelves to themselves"
"You're like my wife, except we don't have sex and have no romantic interest in each other"
"Our band is gonna be nothing but silence and the occasional agonizing scream"
"MICE SHOT OUT OF MY PRINTER!!"
"Vodka gives me useless noodle arms"
"Math killed my father"
"Bro I saw your dad yesterday"
"You see, I'm an asshole, but I'm also a terrible person"
"Why are old white people offended by three girls raising a toddler together?"
"You went to bed so we turned the living room into a fort"
"We're not being haunted, I had gregorian chanter music playing"
"I'm not paying for an ambulance, just push me to hospital on a skateboard or something"
"I don't think my hair is 'screaming gay' enough yet"
"You left your vibrator in the bathroom sink again"
