drawings

I like to find my own ways to think of characters apart from common "fanon" to have reasons to get attached to them. For a while I couldn't find what there was in particular to enjoy about the character mentioned over any of their fellow managers, because I couldn't latch on to interpretations that read to me as largely surface-level and afraid to dig deeper. One interpretation is Cathal with depression.. Which I can only enjoy so far as they're willing to take it, and that isn't as far as I'd like. I feel there's minimal exploration into where such an affliction would originate from. I'll be frank and say that part of why it's difficult to find more earnest, mature fan works in the vein I'm looking for is because the adults who have the wherewithal to be making them are creating smut instead. Or moving onto the next trending intellectual property. Obviously it's not as if I'm immune.

Anyways… Cathal's character makes more sense and appeals to me more if I read their lack of ambition, outward show of apathy, disobedience, and small pool of interests as a result of an emotional enmeshment with their father. I see them as not having had the space or ability to become a fully realized individual. Every decision they make or preference they have is under the scrutiny of their father, and by extension the entire department. Any such decision made could come into conflict with their father's, with varying degrees of consequences. Their supposed cool-headedness contrasts with Allan's emotional volatility and moodswings not because of how they were raised, I think, but because of how they *weren't*.

Allan might believe he is doing what's best for Cathal. He undeniably loves Cathal. But his idea of parenthood involves pushing Cathal to fill a checklist of "traits best mentioned on a resume", teaching them how to fit into the mold of a person Cathal is not and never will be. A child or young adult put into a position like Cathal's may experiment with misbehavior/disobedience to receive any earnest attention towards their own emotional or physical needs. They might experience this as impulsivity and not be able to explain why.

Cathal in my preferred reading is, despite being barely developed themself, the emotional anchor of their own father. They have to be above it all. Allan is strongly attached to the idea of Cathal as a miniature, possibly even 'ideal' version of himself, who he couldn't live (work) without. He must mistake this for parental affection. Not knowing or caring to know the difference. They are close to one another at all times, only a tower apart at work. Whether Allan can enter the office himself or not is up for debate, but its placement and the giant prison-bar like windows are an inauspicious design choice to be sure. Allan has around-the-clock visual access to his child. Cathal seems to avoid looking out there at all.

On the other side of this world design coin, Cathal's towering office structure and the unease of access from the HQ entrance hall seem to both artificially elevate their perceived importance (for Allan's sake?) and give them an air of unapproachability to others. Perhaps Allan doesn't want to give other sellbots the idea that Cathal should be made friendly conversation with or "distracted" from more important things, like always being available to him.

I doubt that Cathal is the one who chose their job title, chose their favorite suit, or even chose their favorite food. Given that Cathal's father keeps them like an exotic caged animal, they have probably not had many chances to try new things or have new experiences. They may have had to lie about liking things they've been given in order to save themself from the fallout of Allan's temperamentality. The expectations thrust on them are a heavy burden.

Anyway. That was all that was on my mind.