i hope you never lose your sense of wonder. you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger. may you never take one single breath for granted. god forbid love ever leave you empty handed. i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. whenever one door closes i hope one more opens. promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance. and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. i hope you dance. i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance. never settle for the path of least resistance. don't let some hellbent heart leave you bitter. when you come close to sellin' out, reconsider. give the heavens above more than just a passing glance and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance ––– i hope you dance.
there was nothing but anger that coursed through the male, his leg bouncing rapidly as the urge to release it became increasingly more difficult. had he not been wrapped up by teddy the moment he arrived to the gas station, he may have acted in a ( later ) regrettable, manner toward his mother. seconds passed between getting the call from teddy upstairs and him reaching his side ( whether or not that had anything to do with how awkward it was in the living room between him and beau was not the point ), his arms immediately wrapping around him. “how you feeling now, t?” his fingers slowly combed through his hair, then he rested his hand at the nape of his neck, leaning up to press his lips to his forehead and not in any rush to move away. “i’m not going to leave you tonight — can stay here as long as you want me to. m’not going to let anything happen to you… neither will beau.”
❛ tired. ‘nd i don’t wanna cry anymore. ❜ his voice croaked as he laid with his head against the pillow, hands underneath as if he was going to sleep. he knew he probably wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight ( that or he was going to sleep forever, his body obviously hadn’t decided yet ). his emotions had been so high all night that the tears hadn’t seemed to stop since they got home from oakland. oakland. where his fucking god awful mother drove him to whilst trying to kidnap him. the whole trip home had been practically silent. he’d almost fallen asleep on ares’ lap. when he got upstairs, ares’ had been with him for a little bit before he headed downstairs. within three minutes, teddy was on the phone with him, begging him to come back upstairs. being away from the other was not ideal. ❛ but you’re grounded. wyatt’s gonna flip. ❜ he mumbled. he was sure that ares would get in trouble for this, but teddy, in this state, wanted nothing more than the boy right there within his reach. ❛ awkward way to introduce you two .. ❜
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there's somewhere over the rainbow and if you change the way you love –– then maybe you can go . // self .
date: the 16th of november 2018
time: 8: 39pm
location: a 7-eleven deep in oakland california, around 40 minutes away from halston
included: naomi, @beaumag, @ffsxres, ( indirectly –– all maguires )
tw: kidnapping, child kidnapping, possible hints of neglect, violence, homophobia
five, four, three, two, one .
his hands couldn’t move as he did his best to press the few buttons it took to call his brother. the door had only been locked for a few seconds and every part of teddy was terrified the lock wouldn’t work. it wouldn’t work. she’d come in here and then he’d really have to go.
five, four, three, two, one .
❛ beau ? beau, it’s me . ❜ his sobs seemed to be echoed in the empty room as he did his best to cover his mouth. he kept trying to contain himself, but he couldn’t help it. at seventeen years old, he never expected his mother to go to these lengths to get him to go to la with her. his mother. it felt weird calling her that. ❛ she didn’t –– she didn’t take me to the hollenbeck home, beau. ❜ he took in a deep breath as he did his best to remember that he needed to be clear in his next words and he needed to be as quiet as possible. she could be right outside that door. ❛ i’m in a 7-eleven bathroom –– i think we’re all the way in oakland. this was the soonest i could fake something to get out of the car. ❜ his sobs continued through the phone call as he just kept speaking. the other wasn’t able to get a word in before teddy spoke again. ❛ i think she’s taking me to la and i don’t wanna go beau. please please don’t make me go. ❜ his hand had moved back up to his mouth as the sobs continued. he had been calm for so long as he told his mother to pull off ( his excuse that he’d had one too many bottles of water at school ). it took everything in him not to sprint to the bathrooms outside of the gas station, however as soon as he got into the single stall, the tears started flowing and his fingers started moving. ❛ please come get me. ❜ he spoke as he hung up the phone and pinned his location.
oh, he did it all to spare me from the awful things in life that comes .
his next call hadn’t been planned. he remembered the first time naomi had come back into their lives that he’d sat down with his siblings and beau had made it very clear on what to do when they were alone with her and she’d tried something. get yourself to a clear space away from her and call beau. that’d been what he did. except when teddy was thirteen, he didn’t have ares. so when his fingers immediately started dialing the boy’s number, it almost solidified how important he was to teddy. ❛ hey –– hi bab –– yea, i’m late i’m sorry. ❜ his tears ran through the phone as if ares was right next to him. and that’s all he wanted in that moment. his boyfriend. the love of his life right there in that god damned bathroom with gum all over the walls and a stench like it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks. if ares had been there, even this situation could still be made into something better. his voice was practically horse at this point, with barely any ability to speak due to the outpour of his cry, he still continued. ❛ naomi offered to drive me to yours –– and instead she started driving me to la. ❜ he collected himself for a brief second before he continued. ❛ beau’s on his way but i’m –– i’m in a bathroom and i can’t –– i can’t be here without you. you’ve got my location right ? ❜ he let out a few breaths as the other responded. teddy could barely hear him on the other line but that was all he needed to even calm down even just a little bit. ❛ p-please don’t hang up. i can’t be here by myself. please come get me. ❜ and the next forty minutes felt like six hours.
and he cries and cries .
she’d beaten on the door once every five minutes until about two minutes ago. then it seemed like she stopped. the only thing that pulled him out of his shaking stage was a strong rather loud voice –– ❛ what the hell do you want from him ? ❜ his eyes widened as he did his best to quickly stand up. he quickly hung up the phone ( but not without a quick i love you and to finish driving safe to his boyfriend ) before he walked closer to the bathroom door. ❛ stay the fuck away from him . ❜ he couldn’t open that door fast enough. teddy hadn’t heard that tone in such a long time ( maybe it had been the last time naomi had showed up ? he couldn’t remember that far back anymore. ) within seconds, teddy spotted the taller male practically slamming the front door of his car shut as naomi started walking towards him. the yelling back and forth continued as she got in her eldest son’s face and tried her best to let him have it. respect had been out the door between those two for as long as he’d known. naomi spoke to beau like a dog, but hell would freeze over if he’d let her speak like that to the others. before he could get a word in, he heard a simple teddy behind him. he did his best to quickly turn around and with what energy he had left he practically threw himself at the other male. tears were falling faster than ever at this point and teddy felt as though he was dead weight on ares. his legs had given out as he was practically laying on the other. with his arms tightly around the other’s neck and his face stuffed as close to him as possible, his sobs sounded as such. he was absolutely terrified yet he was finally there with the two people he cared about most in his life. they were there and things may end up okay. he was caught out of his trance a few moments later when he heard the strong voice that was just screaming turn into something rather soft. ❛ teddy . ❜ his hand had now made it’s way into ares’ as he still hadn’t pulled away from the hug. being as close to ares as possible –– that was all he wanted. however, the name caught him off guard and suddenly he had looked up to find his mother and brother looking at them. ❛ why don’t we go home ? ❜ that was all it took for teddy to start walking ( and despite the shakiness of his legs, he made it to the car in one piece ) –– yet no part of him was letting go of the boy next to him. they’d figure out a car situation later, but for now –– ares wasn’t going anywhere without him. as teddy walked past his mother, he practically felt the daggers she was laying into them. he knew her feelings about the situation he was in, and that almost struck another type of fear into his chest. what if she wasn’t leaving? what if this wasn’t her final goodbye?
five, four, three, two, one .
they’d been in the car for twenty minutes before ares’ spoke up. teddy’s head had been on his lap and he’d been laying in the backseat since they got in the car. he had almost been asleep ( ares’ hand was running through his hair and that practically acted as melatonin for him ) when he’d almost heard that word. ❛ hi, i’m ares, teddy’s b –– ❜ oh yea. despite the realization that that was the way he’d practically come out to his brother, he was too exhausted and numb to react in any sort of over the top way. it had been his first word spoken in the car since they’d gotten in. ❛ boyfriend. ares’ is my boyfriend. ❜
ares carefully thought over each of the options that teddy listed out for him, all of which were, on a normal day, easy to process. however, he still couldn’t wrap his head around any of them — his mind was locked on the worst of them all. “no, no, no— we can’t tell anyone. not until i know what’s going to happen for sure. i just— can’t risk it. what if the worst case scenario is they take me away from you?” he whispered just loud enough for teddy to make out his words, letting him take his hands after wiping his hands against his sweats. the more teddy spoke though, the easier it became for him to breathe. he decides not to speak until the other has finished completely, instead giving in to his emotions and letting the tears fall without any attempt to hide them. every few moments, he’d rub the side of his face against his shoulder and then return his eyes on teddy’s. it really only took teddy repeating those words back to him to really believe that he wasn’t a bad person. he even felt more consumed by his emotions when he mentioned marriage and having kids together — it gave him something a lot better to think about. ares immediately leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the other male’s waist, careful not to knock them both to the ground. “i’m going to stop. i can’t keep risking everything for— i’m stupid, i’ve been stupid,” he finally spoke, his face buried in his neck and his hands sliding beneath teddy’s shirt — he simply craved his warmth because it helped him relax. “just not twelve kids, okay? at least not all at once,” he chuckled through a soft cry, the laugh quickly fading because of it. he leaned his head back to look at him, bringing one of his hands to the side of his face and brushing his thumb against his cheek, “i’m so sorry, t. i keep messing up. i break everything i touch and you — you shouldn’t have to deal with that… with this… with me.”
❛ no one can take me away from you. i promise you that, okay ? ❜ his voice was heavy as he got closer to the male. that statement was as true as it could get. he spent two and a half weeks away from the male ( he chose to ignore their summer apart –– that was just a miscommunication ) as he felt the other get closer to him, he couldn’t help but do the same. their connection was deep and their bodies were comfortable around each other. they fit together, rather perfectly, so molding into one mesh in a moment like this was inevitable. ❛ okay, not twelve. we don’t have to have twelve. ❜ he said with a slight chuckle falling from his lips. it was a few more moments where silence dwelled over them. it wasn’t until ares’ spoke up again that his eyes fell back into the other’s and a soft sigh fell from his lips. ❛ you ... i don’t deal with you ares. it’s not a chore to love you. ❜ a simple peck to his lips more to calm the other down than anything before his hands run through the other’s hair once again. ❛ we are gonna get through this, ares. together. just know that, okay ? ❜ his breathing hitched as he pressed his lips softly to the other’s cheek as he did his best to think of ways to get ares out of this situation.
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his head immediately settled against the other male’s shoulder when he was pulled into his arms, fighting the urge to cry. it was one of the things his father told him to never do — because a man doesn’t cry, it just makes him weak. so he wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat, slowly moving out of the male’s grasp and shaking his head. “no — no, it’s not going to be okay. maybe it is now — but what’s stopping them from looking into it? i have to live with this,” ares sat himself on the edge of the bed and released a slow breath, continuously wiping his eyes to stop the tears from falling. “i’m not a bad person, t. i just—“ he paused, trying to think up the words that explained what he was feeling. was he beginning to accept what he was — the passion he had for something so dangerous? “i’m not a bad person.”
❛ and maybe they will ? and whatever happens, we’ll deal with it. we’ll figure something out. we can get a lawyer, dispute the charges. or talk to mr. archer. i’m sure once you apologize and tell him it was an accident it won’t be too bad okay ? i’ll talk to beau and see if there’s something he can do. ❜ the last thing ares needed in this moment was a lecture. normally, beau would have no problem telling ares what he did was as dumb as all get out and that he should suffer from the consequences of his actions, but there was a major part of teddy that knows ares almost better than he knows himself. he knows ares’ obsession with fire doesn’t come from a desire to harm or hurt anyone. on a day to day basis, his boyfriend says sorry to inanimate objects when he runs into things. he would never hurt a fly on purpose. but maybe this incident was just what ares needed to see that his obsession with fire can go too far. he moved to slowly sit in front of a boy on the bed and did his best to take his hands into his own. ❛ it’s okay to be scared, ares. it’s okay to cry. it’s okay to feel scared. you’re human, baby. ❜ his voice croaked as he heard the male’s tears falling through his words. ❛ you’re absolutely right –– you’re not a bad person. you’re charming and passionate and caring. you love as hard as anything else. and if i have to get my ass up on a stand and say all of this in front of a jury i will. we’re gonna get through this, okay ? we are gonna make it and we’re gonna get married and have like ... twelve kids probably. okay ? you’re not a bad person ares. you’re not. ❜
he paced the end of the other male’s bed, nibbling the nail of his thumb as the nerves got the best of him. the abandoned building wasn’t as big of a problem in his mind as the dumpster was — had he known he would hurt anyone he wouldn’t have stepped out that night. however, the damage was done and now he either had to face it or move on from it — there was no investigation, right? “i’m going to jail—“ he whispered, completely forgetting his thoughts from a moment ago. “i hurt that guy, bad — what if it was worse than it was like — if i — he could’ve died —“ his hands twisted in his hair, breaths growing heavy and rapid the more he thought about everything. “teddy, i didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” then, silently as to not draw attention from anywhere else in the maguire house, he released a quiet sob and buried his face in his hands. // @teddymaguire
❛ ares, sunshine, relax ❜ he hadn’t looked up from ares’ computer since the boy walked in his room. he’d spent the last five minutes researching halston’s news websites for any coverage on the exploding firework and mr. archer. so far, it didn’t seem like a huge deal. he’d found a few websites that said police were looking into it but no subjects had been found or questioned yet. ❛ you’re not going to jail. ❜ another website. this one claimed that police weren’t looking into it at all. blaming it on devil’s night and just a bunch of kids being kids. he didn’t know what to believe. so far, however, he felt safe. he felt like ares’ was safe. he knew the boy didn’t do it on purpose, and surely if any cop were to question him they would understand the change. after researching, teddy found that with the amount of fireworks ares’ had shot off, he could get a public offense and just have to pay a fine. yea, five hundred dollars wasn’t exactly in the budget right now, but he still had his check from camp. maybe he could cash that in and they could figure something out. it wasn’t until he heard practically a croak come from the boy pacing in front of him that he looked up. his brows immediately furrowed as he pushed the laptop off of him and got up. ❛ hey –– whoa baby calm down. ❜ he let out a soft muffle as his hand made it’s way to ares’ head as he wrapped his arms around his boy. ❛ you’re okay, bud. i promise everything will be okay. keep taking deep breaths, okay ? ❜
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